“It’s so hard to give him a present he really likes! I mean, you observe the guy while he is doing something for months. Normally, you would think that repeating a pattern over and over again means that he likes what he is doing? And when it comes to the big reveal, it turns out that he was actually hating it.”

-Silith

***Outer Rim***

***Antioch***

“Look, Siegfried, that's a fork. A F-O-R-K.” I hold the fork in front of the little demonling who is riding on my lap. Since I started my tutoring program, I managed to teach him fifty-two new words.

Siegfried reaches for the fork an inspects it with his fingers. Finally, he lowers himself to imitate me. “Ork!”

Well, at least he is trying. Fiona's and my son is slowly making progress. He will get it after a few more attempts, so I repeat myself again and again.

The rest of the family is also at the dinner table in our living room, chatting about the recent political developments. I mostly keep out of the conversation, but I listen with half an ear while I busy myself with Siegfried.

“The Cyber are trying to force a major confrontation between our forces, but so far we managed to avoid large battles,” Silith recounts her meeting with Martin. Our High General kept his position despite my expectations that he would be replaced by someone else sooner or later.

It seems like he didn’t lie to me when he told me about the time he spent in Earth’s defence.

“Have you seen the recording of our first contact with the G.S.?” Lisandra asks. “I think Martin went a little over top. Like we would actually eat anyone.” She snorts. “Giving them the middle finger might have been too much. Are you sure that they won't make some connections between us and the humans they seek?”

Samuel frowns. “Why shouldn’t we eat someone? Once they are dead, they are just mindless proteins. We are also recycling the Cyber corpses. That’s not much different from cannibalism.”

I wet my lips, seeing his logic. He may have a point there.

Veronica pulls a face. “It’s different! The Cyber are plastic and metal, and others are organic...” She frowns. “It’s just different!”

“Opinion doesn’t make right,” Jill mumbles.

Fiona shakes her head. “The G.S. doesn't know anything about Earth's culture. By the time they encountered us, our entire culture was already virtual and they never got access to our network. We could play-act to be Vulcans and they would never know. They will suspect that something is up because we are so similar to humans, but with the Cyber as distraction, they won't risk making a mistake. It was good that we introduced them simultaneously and even gave them the wrecked ship.”

I grumble, remembering Martin's encounter with the G.S. scouting force. Everything was planned beforehand as much as that was possible. Even handing over the Cyber-ship after exchanging a few unpleasantries and threats. We debated long and hard about this, and in the end, we decided to not come across as too helpful. Being too friendly might actually make the G.S. leadership even more suspicious than they already are.

In the end, having a Cyber-ship at the ready as proof that they are the G.S.’s real target was vitally important to the plan. I mean, nobody boards one of those things and doesn’t freak out when all the little spider-bots swarm you to defend their vessel. Oh, I am so glad that I can hand that job to others.

“Fork!”

Finally!

“Great. That was exceptional, Siegfried. Now the spoon. Here, were are you looking?” I wave the spoon in front of his face, but he is looking at Fiona.

“Attention, Siegfried. Your Mom isn’t important right now. Look, that's a spoon!”

Minerva laughs from her side of the table, upon watching my attempts at teaching the retarded demonling. She turned into a young adult and together with Samuel she is a vital help with managing the colony and all the old personalities who join us. Hell, having those personalities ready to upload is a real boon.

I don’t understand why anyone would want to bring up a child the normal way.

Min returns her attention to the conversation. “So, what's the plan for the future? Will Martin stay their main-contact to our race? Will we allow them onto one of our colonies as a gesture of good will?”

Silith hums, considering the idea. “It would certainly help our case. Though we would have to make sure that they don't get to see something compromising. The colony's inhabitants would have to be chosen very carefully. I doubt that anyone would betray us intentionally, but a ruse like that needs highly capable operatives.”

“Yeah, hahaha.” Veronica starts laughing, her juvenile voice filling the room. “Who would be selfish enough to betray their own race? Ow!” She rubs her shoulder where Jill hit her.

Raising an eyebrow, I study the strange interaction between the two sisters, but Min draws my attention by raising her voice. “I'll send out a system request to gather people who can be trusted with such a task.” She smiles.

“Maybe Samuel and you should take charge of the operation,” Jill shovels a forkful of potato mash into her mouth and hums with satisfaction. Lisandra outdid herself today. She piled so much potato mash, vegetables, and grilled meat onto the table that we are struggling to eat it all.

“That’s a really good idea! I wanted to be in charge of something important, and this is an excellent chance,” Minerva voices her approval while clapping her hands together.

Silith’s expression turns worried and she waves her hand to stop our daughter’s enthusiasm. “But make sure to leave a Hardware Backup with us!”

“That goes without saying.” Minerva turns to look at me. “I wouldn’t have thought it, but Antioch, you seem to be a really good father. I didn’t think that having Sam and me was that good of a preparation for the real deal. Do you like real kids that much?”

I want to deny vehemently, but I am interrupted before I can pull my attention away from Siegfried.

Lisandra blinks and smiles. “Yes, we noticed that a while ago. He is all over Siegfried, feeding him, talking to him, playing.” She rubs her belly absent-mindedly.

Fiona nods and looks at me with love in her eyes. “I thought that I would be left alone with my antics regarding our little Siegfried, but Antioch seems to be determined to play the father figure.”

I finally manage to pull my attention away from the retarded demonling. “What are you talking about? I am the father!”

“Yes… I was just surprised that you are spending so much time with him.” She looks around. “All of us are. When I got him, I thought he would be mainly my responsibility.”

He is, but I had a part in making him and that makes me responsible. You just pamper him all day long. At this rate, he will stay a babbling idiot forever. When I was small, the scientists did their best to educate me and my brothers. I was never bored or lacked stimulation. That’s at least one thing I can’t blame them for.

“Yes!” Silith interjects, fumbling with her fingers. “I would’ve never thought that you like real children that much! That’s why we have a big surprise for you!”

I look around the table, slowly turning worried. “What are you talking about? I hate kids! They don’t have their sphincter under control and they scream and cry because of unexplainable things. Having them isn’t tolerable. That’s why I am educating Siegfried! He has been like this for several months already, and his progress is stalling. A child needs guidance to grow. I simply reasoned that if his physical growth is hampered by his mental maturity, then all I have to do for him to grow up is to educate him.”

Lisandra’s gleeful expression drops, turning expressionless. “Oh.”

From one moment to the next, the atmosphere in the room is totally different. Nobody says a word until Jill clears her throat. “Ahem, so you are trying to accelerate Siegfried’s growth by teaching him?”

“Yes!” I look around. “What did you think I was doing? I want him to get his bowels under control.”

Silith takes her hand away from her belly. “Oh. That’s… uhm…” She suddenly looks ill.

“You are trying to get him to grow up faster!?” Fiona calls out, sounding offended. She gets up and leans over. “Give me ‘my’ baby!”

“Of course.” I raise my hands and allow her to take him. What happened to the ‘our’?

But there are more important issues right now. I turn my attention to Lisandra and Silith. “Why the long faces?”

Though, I can already guess what’s going on.

Silith and Lis look at each other, then at me with guilty expressions. They answer in unison, “We thought you like kids, and when we saw you with Siegfried, we got jealous and...”

I close my eyes and massage the bridge of my nose. “How many?”

“Two?” Lis answers questioningly, which is topped by Silith’s, “Five!”

Getting up, I walk over to Jill and go down on one knee in front of the Blue. “Do you know something like a super-nanny who is hiding out in the V.C.? Didn’t you mention a really skilled psychologist?”

When this is over, I may need one. Or should I just burn my Hardware Backup and slit my throat. The Plane of Lust back in the V.C. wasn’t that bad to live in. I mean, yes, I might go batshit crazy after a few years.

I turn to look at my wives.

But that’s likely to happen also if I stay here.