“Boy! You know what she is? She’s a gods’ damned Protagonist, isn’t she?”

My heart began to race as he casually mentioned what was essentially my largest secret. True, it was a pretty open secret — I’d told quite a number of people by now, after all — but that was before I’d found out that people could get a power up from killing me.

And if Barb’s father was looking for a power up, it’d be fairly simple for him to get it.

“Ah, don’t give me that whole terrified expression. I have no desire to get an Antagonist’s mark in any case, and while maybe it would teach him some gods’ damned respect, I’m not here to kill any of the boy’s little pals.”

His words, plus a(n un)healthy dose of Trauma Suppression helped me to settle down as the washer wizard turned from me to his son. Barb was busy making a host of garbled and indignant noises, none of which were understandable in the slightest. With a sigh, his father flicked his hand, and the bubbles streaming out of Barb’s mouth dispersed.

After taking a moment to hack and spit the taste of soap out of his mouth, Barb started to speak at a rapid clip, as if worried he’d be silenced again any moment. “Ack! I can’t stand when you do that. But you’re wrong here: She can’t be a Protagonist. I knew her when she was level 5, and she’s the travel companion to the princess of one of the nearby kingdoms. Unlike others, I didn’t see fit to pry into someone’s private affairs, but — forgive the speculation, dear — I’ve been under the assumption that she’s the princess’s handmaiden. Perhaps if you’d allowed me to introduce her, then-”

A new wave of bubbles poured from the barber’s mouth, and judging by the coughing fit that followed, he’d accidentally swallowed a few.

For our parts, Barb’s father and I simply stared at him as he coughed.

He thought I was Cal’s handmaiden? Seriously?

Fudunkerexelesterioastorius the 16th seemed to share my disbelief, shaking his head in exasperation. “Kids, am I right? You want to know something?” He turned towards me conspiratorially, the shift in his demeanor taking me off guard. “When he was younger, I told Mr. Rebellious over here that he should work towards getting his level 20 Identify upgrade to help him see people’s Prestige. But nooo, boy-o here decided to have it upgrade to Noble Sight instead, meaning he knew your pal was a princess, but thought the girl with over 1000 Prestige was a bloody handmaiden.”

I would have perhaps responded to the man had my mouth not still been full of bubbles. Instead of dispelling his silencing skill on me, he leaned into his son and gave him a firm flick on the head, sending him reeling backwards. Suitably stunned, Barb was quiet for a moment before looking to me with furrowed brows. He mumbled out a phrase, and with the context, I was barely able to make out what he was trying to say: “Over 1000 Prestige?”

Barb’s father shrugged. “Don’t take my word for it. Look.” Without any warning, he lashed out and grabbed my wrist. I let out a surprised, bubbly yelp as a small scrub brush of mana appeared in his hand. “Reveal the Mark of the Protagonist,” he intoned. Evidently eager to comply, the brush started to go to town on my forearm, brutally scrubbing away at quickly reddening skin.

Before I even had time to try anything, it was over. Whatever skill he’d used ran its course, the scrub brush winking out. In its place was a painfully familiar golden mark. The Mark of the Protagonist lay there, plain to see for all involved.

Ughhh, I was totally going to see if I could deny it. Never mind that my Deception skill was laughably low; it had still been worth a try.

Barb sputtered out in soapy disbelief.

Huh. Would have guessed that Jason would have figured it out by now and told Barb, but evidently not? I wasn’t sure if that was from Jason being a bit hard-headed, or if he’d decided it wasn’t his secret to share. Either way, Barb looked genuinely baffled on seeing the mark.

“Hah! I knew I was right. Kid, you know you’re probably going to die one of these days, right? Low leveled squirt like you — only reasons someone hasn’t offed you yet are luck, and being in the ass-crack of nowhere right now.” He punctuated his words with a hearty laugh as if my impending death were a particularly good joke.

I tried to respond, but nothing but soap came out. Wildly annoying spell.

Instead of letting me speak, he addressed his son while unsilencing him. “Boy! We should adopt her, yeah? I’ll take her with me when I go back.”

Twin stunned expressions stared at the man while he beamed back at us. Where the hell had that come from? And why on Earth would I ever willingly get adopted by him? All he’s done is scare the hell out of me and make me eat soap!

Barb, thankfully, verbalized my feelings. “Are you insane? I know you may look younger than I presently, but have you gone senile? The houses would eat her alive! And never mind that, but if you’d given either of us a moment to speak, you’d know that you’re standing in her settlement right now. You can’t just whisk her away at the drop of a hat.”

Barb’s father clipped his son on the side of the head while still grinning widely. “Who you calling senile, wrinkles?” Taking on a more pensive look to him, he stroked his stubble for a moment. “That is a problem. Wouldn’t want to abduct a settlement owner like that.” He turned from his son and fixed me with his full attention. “What do you think? A few hours? Maybe a full day? That should be enough for you to get your affairs in order, yeah? Elect a regent or something — can’t say I really care.”

By this point, it was safe to say that I was lost. Adoption? Getting eaten alive by “the houses”? Getting abducted? None of it sounded particularly conducive to enjoying the rest and relaxation I thought I was due after my last quest. If I had any say in the matter, I’d turn the man down flat.

As if sensing my train of thought, Fudunkerexelesterioastorius the 16th crossed his arms and loomed over me with a smile.

“Now, listen up squirt! Maybe you’re thinking of taking after the boy here and being rebellious and inconceivably dumb, so I’ll spell it out for you. You need some sort of patron. You need some obfuscation equipment. You need someone to help you level up, fast. Because if you don’t, at some point in the next year or two, you can bet your ass that some little old Antagonist is gonna find you here, and you’ll be good and dead, you hear? I don’t care if you’ve made some good friends or not — all it takes is one assassin or someone like me who can slap you around silly. So, after you’ve had some time to think it over — and accept — I’ll see you after I’m done with the boy!”

A light seemed to go on in his face, as if he’d suddenly remembered something just then. “Oh! I almost forgot my manners there, didn’t I. Never introduced myself. You can call me Suds, kid.”

Having established that he was an incredibly polite man who didn’t forget his manners, Suds then summoned a geyser below me. The water slammed into me at speed, sending me flying through the air towards the edge of the bubble.

The last thing I saw before getting shoved through to the other side was Barb’s father — Suds, I supposed — gazing down at his son with a predatorial glint in his eyes. “Now don’t think your little pal’s surprise has made me forget about you, boy. You’re in trouble.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After being booted from Suds’ privacy bubble, I didn’t stick around too long. Admittedly, there was somewhat of a commotion outside, but it was largely dealt with: Rock had shown up and ushered the crowd away to keep them from doing anything stupid. Despite still looking like absolute shit, he knew how to get things done, and dealt with everyone fairly easily.

The exception was Kexstella, who I’d found outside the barrier with another mud golem, busy pounding on the privacy bubble. Where the mud connected with the bubble, it simply washed away, rendering her efforts completely useless. In this case, I was better suited to the task of calming her down than Rock was, despite the fact that I often couldn’t tell what was going on in her head.

A few reassurances that Barb’s father (probably) wouldn’t kill him, followed by some breathing exercises, eventually got her to calm down enough to stop her fruitless assault. I sighed with relief once she did, as I wasn’t sure how Suds would react if she tried to attack him a second time once the barrier came down.

On that note, Rock assigned a shadow to watch the barrier and alert him when it came down or if anything of note happened. For all that he claimed that he’d renounced his role as a commander, he still seemed keen on commanding. Once that was done and settled, he left the area. Based on his appearance, I hoped it was to get some rest.

A small part of me considered sticking around with Kex, waiting for the barrier to fall. I did, after all, have a lot of answers that were due to me.

More than that, though, I found myself wanting some alone time. The entirety of the experience had been fairly jarring, and I wasn’t in the mood to sit around with Kex waiting for some uncertain amount of time.

I did consider staying to be a good friend to Barb — it was possible he’d need someone to lean on (either metaphorically or literally) after his father got through with him — but in the end, I opted against it. For starters, Kex was there, and she was much closer to him than I was. Past that, I was guessing that more than companionship, he’d be out of energy and seeking some solitude: My presence might actually make him feel worse in that case.

I made it a special point to remember to check in on him tomorrow though. Admittedly, half of that was me wanting to be a good friend and make sure he was okay; the other half was wanting to know what the hell all that had been about.

Still too early to head to bed, I wandered into the forest, continuing my walk that had been interrupted. I tried to get some cantrip training in, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

Maybe I can do my class trial again? I shook my head. I was already feeling a bit shaken up. Getting bitten in half wasn’t the best way to fix that. Go to the bar and grab some more wine? I grimaced. That involved dealing with Nadja, which, despite her assurance that she wasn’t trying to kill me anymore, was arguably even scarier.

Without having a clear task to accomplish, my mind returned to the conversation I’d just had, unpacking it.

As I did so, my emotions belatedly came rushing in. They’d been somewhat muted lately, drowned out by waves of rapidly suppressed panic followed by relief and exhaustion. It was an unsustainable way to live, and I was trying to spend less time running from fire to fire and more time on introspection. If it was that easy to do, though, therapists would have been out of a job a long time ago.

If nothing else, Suds’ words had forced me to think about a number of things I’d been avoiding. Whether or not he’d presented his arguments in a kind and non-abrasive manner, what he’d said had resonated with me. Since I’d learned about Antagonists, I’d been feeling like it was just a matter of time before something happened. Just a matter of time before someone swooped in and killed me just because they could.

In some way it was even worse than my fears about mind magic — I had no reason to believe someone was going to suddenly start mind controlling me. I did have a reason to believe people were hunting me though, and in the long run, I knew it would turn me into a twitchy mess, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

That doesn’t actually mean you’re considering letting him “abduct” you, does it? Barb’s father had very rapidly proved himself an asshole of quite sizable proportions, deciding my fate while hardly letting me get a single word in. There was also the way he’d treated his son. Not sure it qualifies as child abuse if the child is, like, 80, but still.

Still, though. It’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Someone to help train me up. Someone who could protect me from any attempts on my life.

Even more than that, it’d be nice to finally feel safe.

I tried to picture myself getting everything in order within the next day, and then being whisked away somewhere new.

Not with him, not so fast, and not like this. But I can’t say the idea isn’t kind of appealing. A little…