Chapter 43 — Ghosts of the Future

Natalie's eyes were still closed. She knew it was Friday morning—the most important morning of her life, if the butterflies in her stomach were any sign—but she didn't want to move. The blanket was thick and warm, and all along her arm, she could feel a weight. It shifted every couple seconds, as the owner's chest rose and fell with each breath. Natalie could hear him so clearly. Every breath, every heartbeat, even the twitch of his limbs in his sleep.

And the darkness, the void which had consumed her whenever she got close to another human being, lurked on the edge of her mind, never far from her memory—but it had no place in this room. Not in her bed, not in her room, not with her boyfriend. Natalie refused to let it come near, and though it refused, though it protested and every minute was a struggle to keep it back, she had won the battle. The war would continue, and Natalie wasn't sure if it would ever cease for her entire life, but for now? She was happy.

Quinn shifted slightly, and Natalie smiled. He'd leaned closer to her. She couldn't bring herself to move toward him—that was too far, even now—but she felt more weight on her arm, a hint of his shoulder touching her own.

I wonder if I'm supposed to do something else now… I don't know. I'm just happy like this. I don't want to move today.

You cannot delay any further.

I can delay for a few minutes.

The voice didn't answer. Natalie suppressed a giggle, not wanting to wake Quinn by accident. She felt like she'd just put it on a snooze button. Still, her eyes fluttered open, and found the expected semi-darkness of the early morning. The clock on the wall read six-twenty-seven. Natalie liked being able to see it even in the dark. She doubted Quinn or anybody else could read it in this light.

You will make good use of it in the forests of your home.

Can't you just be asleep too? Natalie asked. She glanced over at the closet, where Percy was resting. Even Percy's asleep. Everybody in the house is. You should be too. Let me be the only one here.

There is a long journey ahead of us, and it would be wise to get there before nightfall.

Well, yeah, but we can't leave before Quinn's parents do. Otherwise they'll try to stop us.

There is no telling when Damian will leave. You may not have that option. Even Annette may not leave for work today.

You really think so?

Today is not like any other day. This is the beginning of your future.

Natalie shook her head slightly. Luckily, Quinn was on a different pillow, or she might have worried about waking him up. I'm still me either way. I'm going home, but I'm not a different person.

You are a different person every single day, Natalie.

Natalie didn't answer. The voice tried to convince her a few more times, but Natalie's eyes were drooping closed again. It grew softer and softer, little by little, and Natalie slipped back away into sleep once more, away from the quiet hum of the rest of the city waking up for the last day of the week, the last day of November… the last day Natalie Hendricks would spend in her boyfriend's home.

Someone touched her shoulder.

Natalie jerked awake. Instantly, she pulled away, while a strengthened hand shot up and knocked away the attacker.

She scrambled backwards. The fire roared in her chest as magic surged into her arms and legs—ready to fight or flee at a moment's notice. A squawk nearby told her Percy had noticed the danger and was ready to match her in kind, whatever she chose.

Quinn clambered to his feet on the other side of the bed, looking winded.

Natalie let out a deep breath. The adrenaline ebbed out of her. She released the spell on her body, and waved Percy down before he decided to swoop at Quinn.

"...Sorry," said Quinn, rubbing his hand slightly.

Natalie shook her head. "It's not your fault."

"Are you—"

"I really liked this," said Natalie, while blood flowed free into her face, hot and tingly. "I just… got scared a little."

Quinn nodded. "I was gonna ask if you were ready for breakfast," he said sheepishly.

"Oh." Natalie looked away at the wall, trying to hide her confused smile. "I'm gonna take a shower first. I'll meet you out there?" She was still wearing her clothes from the day before, since she'd never changed into her pajamas, and she wanted to get in a hot shower while she still could. I mean, I can probably heat up water out there, and Cinza's probably got theirs working by now, but still…

"Sure."

Quinn left. Natalie gave him a minute's head start, stroking Percy as she did and calming him down. After she felt like she could actually run into someone without feeling embarrassed beyond all reason, she hurried out of the room and straight into the bathroom.

"Hey!" said Kelsey, right as Natalie barged in.

"Oh!" Natalie looked away. Kelsey had just climbed out of the shower… and she hadn't locked the door for some reason. "I… uhh… sorry!"

"I guess you guys actually lock your doors…" Kelsey sounded just as embarrassed as Natalie felt. "Mom prefers we leave everything unlocked, just in case. Mama said something happened once with a shower and a locked door. I'm good now."

Natalie glanced up. Kelsey had wrapped up in a towel and was just about to start brushing her teeth. "Sorry," she repeated, still feeling a bit awkward.

"Hey, it's cool. I was just surprised." Kelsey smirked. "Unless you're crushing on me now too."

"...Nothing like that," Natalie murmured, leaning down to grab a fresh towel out from under the sink.

"Probably a good thing," said Kelsey between brushes. "I think Quinn's probably the jealous type. And now that you two are sleeping together, I dunno how he'd feel about us making out behind his back."

"What?" asked Natalie. She'd only been half-paying attention, and caught the words "sleeping together" and "us making out."

Kelsey smirked even wider than before. "Natalie, someday, you and I gotta talk dating for real."

"I don't think I'm dating. I just have a boyfriend."

"Same thing!"

"I dunno." Natalie sat down against the wall. She put her hands to her forehead like she always saw Principal Talbot doing. It didn't really help as much as she expected, but at least it covered up how confused she knew she must look. "I don't have time to figure all that stuff out."

"Oh… yeah." Kelsey rinsed out her mouth in a rush. She set her toothbrush aside and sat down next to Natalie—a few feet away, as usual. "You still thinking today's the day?"

Natalie nodded. "I kinda… always knew it was gonna be today."

"Why's that?"

"I promised myself a long time ago. If… something didn't happen, if a certain person never called me, then I'd go back by December. And… well…"

"Tomorrow's December," Kelsey filled in.

"I'm scared though."

"Well, duh. Of course you are. We are too."

"But—"

"We're still coming with you," she added with a wink. "But who wouldn't be scared? You'd be crazy not to be super scared."

But I am crazy… That's part of the problem.

"Look," said Kelsey. "You've got magic. You're going back to meet Gwen. We're your backup. Simple as that, right?"

"No."

She shrugged. "Okay, yeah, probably not. But who cares?"

I don't want any of you to get hurt.

As long as you are careful and certain of your actions, they will be fine.

I don't understand. I thought you hated my friends. Why have you been telling me to take them along now?

You are stronger with them. Alone, you were uncertain and confused. You were lost. You nearly died. Then, you found me, and you found your friends. We are stronger together.

But I'm the only one with magic. I'm the strong one. I'm supposed to protect everyone all on my own?

You are more powerful than anyone in the world, Natalie.

Not her. Not Grey-eyes. Probably not Alpha either, wherever he is.

You cannot be certain of that. Perhaps you are. You have never tested your strength against theirs.

I wasn't stronger than Jackson…

Weren't you?

Natalie hesitated. Kelsey was brushing her hair, still talking about dating, and some girl she'd liked before she got a crush on the guy she was still hung up on now. Natalie wanted to just listen to her, but the voice had posed a question she couldn't ignore.

What do you mean?

You fought Jackson only once. Who was the victor?

I… I fought him more times. Didn't I?

Rachel kept you away from him after that. You beat golems, those summoned by both Jackson and your father, you put out fires, you held back the mob. But in that fight, who ran away?

Jackson did…

And when you first got there, who held the advantage?

Jackson. He didn't have a scratch. Lily tried to stop a golem, but she didn't really do much. Gwen and Scrappy attacked, and he knocked them away. Scrappy got hurt and now his leg is still weird, and Gwen didn't have time to get him again. But then he summoned a bunch of golems, and I could barely hold them back.

Yet you did. You held them back until you found the way to destroy them. Once you had it, you annihilated every last one. Jackson fled. You won the fight.

"Nat?"

Natalie looked up. Kelsey was on her feet in front of the bathroom mirror, staring down at her. She looked concerned, and Natalie realized she hadn't heard a word Kelsey said in minutes.

"What?"

"You good?" asked Kelsey uneasily.

"I… I was just remembering something," she answered honestly. Her mind was still lost on the dark streets of Rallsburg, on that night in May when she'd fought against one of the Gods… and she'd won.

The voice was right. In the only time she had actually fought Jackson, she had brought him to a standstill. Gwen hurt him, and she'd held back the golems long enough for Rachel to get the electricity scrap to her. If they'd fought again, Natalie probably could have won. So why didn't Rachel want me to fight him again…?

Rachel fears you.

That's… that's not true.

She sent you away. You could have gone to Canada like the rest of them. There are schools there. You might have been safer there.

I wanted to come to Seattle though.

Kendra and Lily took you in, because they were the strongest among those that could. Hector is too weak, and Hailey is too unreliable. Jessica could not speak nor hear.

Don't say that. She's… she's gone.

The voice didn't say any more, but Natalie felt uncomfortable. It was saying things, and she couldn't disagree with them. It didn't feel right, but it seemed close enough to spread niggling doubts in her mind.

Kelsey left, looking a little worried. Natalie eagerly stepped into the shower. The hot water and steam filled her senses, driving away the doubts and fears currently swirling in her mind. She focused on the spray washing over her skin, and let herself fade out into the rush of crashing water.