Chapter 39 — The Day They Learned Her Name

On Wednesday, when a student showed up in the classroom with a note for Natalie, she wasn't shocked in the slightest. She took it from the nervous kid with barely a second glance, a summons by the principal as she expected. Natalie was surprised in one part, though—that it took three whole days to show up.

Quinn squeezed her hand for luck, but Natalie wasn't worried anymore. Over the last few days—ever since Friday, when she revealed her whole story to him, confessed to his parents, had her first kiss, and come out okay—Natalie's confidence seemed to have shot through the roof. Nothing scared her anymore.

And nothing should. You are stronger than everyone. Cinza recognized it, Kendra and Lily recognized it. You can do anything.

I don't want to do anything though. I'm happy right here.

Be prepared for when that is no longer true.

Natalie got up and followed the student runner out the door. She'd been called to the principal's office yet again. No doubt Quinn was worried, and Natalie was sympathetic, but she doubted anything was really going to come of this.

Blake had finally made a move. Natalie had expected it sooner. It wouldn't be public—that just wasn't Blake's style. She'd blindside, she'd go behind everyone's backs, she'd spread snide rumors and cruel jokes, but she'd never come after Natalie head-on in the open. The dodgeball game was a fluke, outside circumstances that forced them into a confrontation.

You came out on top. You won. Claim your victory.

What am I supposed to claim? All I did was scare her off.

This is your territory now. Own it. Show her that this sort of veiled attack has no place in your world.

Natalie shook her head. I don't own anything. It's school. The adults are in charge.

Do you truly believe that? Were they in charge during your fight? The teacher was only a dozen feet away, and he did nothing. He could not do anything. You were in control.

She couldn't deny it. The teacher had done nothing to interrupt their game, even as it spiraled out of control. They might still have been playing by the rules, but Natalie believed anyone with actual authority would have recognized the growing danger and intervened. Like Rachel, or Grey-eyes, or Cinza. People in charge were supposed to be proactive—try to stop problems before they happened, not after.

I had to stop her. Nobody else.

Yes.

I was the one to punish her afterward. I didn't want to, and I didn't enjoy it, but it was my job.

Yes.

If I hadn't, worse things would be happening now. She'd be doing something horrible probably.

Precisely. You must take care of your queendom. This is your home, this is your world, and you have the power. Protect yourself, protect your friends, and don't allow any risk of harm to come close. This is how you survive.

Natalie nodded as the door to the principal's office swung open.

"Come in, Miss Heshire."

She hopped off the chair and walked in, head high, eyes clear and open. The principal looked taken aback. Compared to every other time they'd met, Natalie wasn't on the defensive anymore, elusive and hiding. That wasn't her anymore.

"Hi," she said, sitting in one of the chairs for students.

"...Jenny," she started, "I've been hearing some things from students about you."

"From Blake," Natalie filled in.

After a few moments, the principal gave a reluctant nod. "From Miss Sinclair, and a few others."

"Lydia, and probably the other girls who hang out with them, right?"

"If you already know everything I'm about to tell you…" The principal trailed off, irritated.

You are pushing too hard. Let her believe in her own authority. She still holds some power.

"...Sorry," said Natalie uncomfortably. She sat back a little, waiting for the principal to continue.

The old woman sighed, shaking her head. She looked distinctly exhausted—a common theme lately amongst everyone Natalie seemed to meet who wasn't under eighteen. Alden, Quinn's parents, some teachers… Everyone seemed tired and uneasy all the time.

"Well, I guess we don't have to dance around it anymore. It's fairly obvious that the special case we've been talking about this whole time is that you're one of the 'awakened', and that you came from Rallsburg." The principal glanced down at her laptop screen. "I can't imagine anything else that fits everything I've learned since I met you in September."

She knows more about us than she should. This is dangerous. How does she know?

I mean… how hard can it be to guess now? Why else would I hide from the whole world?

This is not safe. You should not admit your identity.

I… I trust her. I know you don't get that, but she's been nice to me. She's helped out a lot. I think she's okay.

You cannot know how this will—

"...Yes," she replied, over the voice's protests. "Nobody can know."

The principal nodded. "I'm not going to tell. I can't imagine how dangerous everything is for you." She sighed again, rubbing at her temples. "I know I promised that we could overlook a lot, but this was too much, Jenny. You attacked another student."

"I didn't!" Natalie didn't mean to raise her voice, but it just came out, before she could stop herself. "It was dodgeball, and Blake was playing rough, and I just… slipped, a little!"

"I wasn't talking about that," she replied, shaking her head. "Miss Sinclair informed us of the confrontation in the ladies' room. You used magic to attack her."

Natalie shook her head forcefully, her long hair flying everywhere. "I didn't touch her. She was… she was saying things. Horrible things. I was upset and I kinda scared her a little. I made doors open and I made some fire and lightning. But I didn't touch her. She was totally fine."

The principal frowned. "Well… there weren't any more signs of injury beyond the broken nose. I can't imagine that Miss Sinclair's account of your conversation was accurate. We talked to the other students in your gym class, and they overheard her saying some awful things." She paused. "Would you repeat what she said to you?"

Natalie hesitated. Even though it came from Blake, it still hurt, a lot. She hated thinking about it, especially since she kept replaying it in Blake's sneering voice over and over.

"She… she called me crazy, and she said my parents were probably both crazy too and that's why I was." Natalie winced. And it might be true… "And she said that my scar was 'cause I tried to… tried to, you know…" Her voice caught, and she looked down at the floor.

"Take your own life," supplied the principal gravely.

"Yeah…" Natalie took a breath before continuing. "And then she said I should finish what I started. Said that if I didn't, I was gonna come back to school and really hurt somebody. That it'd be my fault, so I should… make sure it couldn't happen."

"Good God…" said the Principal, leaning back in her chair.

"And that's when I got upset," Natalie finished, very uncomfortable again. Her self-confidence, so strong and unwavering earlier, had faltered in the memory of that confrontation.

"No one else witnessed this, correct?"

Natalie shook her head.

"...Well, I certainly believe you over her," said the principal.

Natalie's hopes rose for a split-second, before she recognized the principal's tone. No…

"But I can't really punish her. Not without arousing suspicion, or maybe provoking something even worse."

"But… you heard what she said. You believe me."

"And her family gives a great deal of money to this school," said the principal, clearly as uncomfortable as Natalie. "The rest of the student body isn't aware of your abilities, and I got the impression that Blake will not be informing anyone. Even her friend Lydia didn't seem to be aware. This can just… go away."

"But—"

"Jenny," said the principal firmly, and Natalie's protest died in her mouth. "I know you mean well, and I've enjoyed having you at my school. But I have to think of all the students, and a private war between yourself and Miss Sinclair could lead to a lot of pain for everyone, not just the two of you. I need this to be over."

"She's the one who won't leave me alone," said Natalie, a bit of anger rising in her voice. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Avoid her?" The principal sighed. "I know I'm not being much help, Jenny. I'm sorry. But I only have so much power."

And we have more, Natalie. Much more.

"I could say that you're being punished," she offered. "I take it that your… err, your guardian wouldn't likely ever hear about it?"

"I haven't seen her in over a month," said Natalie.

"Where are you staying?" The principal shook her head, before Natalie could answer—not that she ever would. "I'm sure you can take care of yourself. But I need to know: are you living in a real home?"

"Yes."

The principal sighed again. "I need to know where, Jenny. You're only thirteen. I'm responsible for your wellbeing."

Being thirteen sure feels like it means whatever anyone else wants it to mean… She hesitated. "I don't want them to get in trouble."

"I'm keeping all of this out of the system, and it will stay that way as long as we can keep an understanding."

"...I'm living with Quinn's family. They let me use their extra room."

"Oh! Okay. That's fine then. And as I said, nobody will know but me. I won't write it down."

Natalie nodded. "Thank you."

"So, since no one would be upset, I could give you non-permanent punishments. Things that won't appear on your record. That way, Blake would see you're not getting away with anything."

She shook her head. "That's not how Blake works. If she sees that, she knows she's winning. She starts getting meaner."

The principal nodded dejectedly. "I thought so. Do you have any ideas? Any suggestions?"

"Nothing you're gonna do," said Natalie bitterly.

She looked truly taken aback. "Jenny, I'm sorry—"

"Is it okay if I go now? I don't want to miss lunch."

"Jenny…" The principal trailed off. She looked truly upset, but didn't say anything else. After a few moments of awkward silence, with Natalie fidgeting in her chair, she eventually nodded. Natalie slid off the chair, feeling far worse than she had when she first walked in.

I thought… I thought that would go better.

She is not your ally. She holds to the fading power of her own system. You have something new. Something none of them understand. You must protect yourself and your own.

But she's been nice to me. She's helped me. Protected me.

The only one you can truly rely on is you.

And Quinn.

The voice didn't answer, and Natalie walked back into the cafeteria feeling a little better. At least she'd finally won that argument. Quinn was trustworthy. The voice no longer protested their bond. Natalie saw him across the room, in their usual spot at the far wall, and took her spot. Cheerful greetings all around, though Quinn shot her a questioning look.

"Later," Natalie murmured.

He nodded. Instantly, they were back to normal, as if nothing had happened. As if Natalie were just an ordinary girl, in an ordinary school in an ordinary world where nothing like magic had ever happened.

Except… Natalie now had something else to worry about. There was a much greater danger lurking just out of sight, one Alden had alerted her to without even knowing it.