Chapter 16 — Rebirth

"Science class sucks now that Mr. Darwin's not teaching it anymore."

"Yeah, it's so bor… whoah."

"What?"

"Look at Jenny. What's up with her face?"

"You think she's hiding something under there?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno. Maybe she got a tattoo."

"No way. Isn't that like, illegal?"

"I think you can if your parents say okay?"

"But she doesn't have parents, right?"

"Maybe she did it herself then."

"She's so weird. Did you hear she hides out in the bathroom and talks to animals all day?"

"So? You talk to your dog all day."

"Yeah, 'cause he's smarter than you."

"No he's not!"

Natalie walked down the hall, trying to ignore the whispers — if they could even be called whispers. No one seemed reluctant to talk about her right in front of her face. Even more than before, she felt marked. The first few days and weeks she could write off as being silly; she was new and from out of town, of course she felt like everyone was watching her.

Now she really was marked, even if none of them could actually see it yet. She still wore the bandages that Door-guy had put on her, taped to the side of her face. For the first time, she was glad of her long hair, since it helped cover up a large portion, but from the front the pale white cloth still stood out. It was an unsettling growth on her face, forcing more eyes to watch her when all she wanted to do was disappear.

She'd been too afraid to remove them, afraid of what was underneath.

The gossip continued, but unlike her first few weeks, now they were getting to her. They needled at her mind over and over like a pest that wouldn't go away, and she knew exactly why.

Before, they made fun of things she chose, and she didn't care. Who cared if someone thought it was weird she ate alone in the bathroom? She just didn't want to deal with other people for a while. So she talked to animals like they could understand her? Well, for one, they could, but besides that, they were way nicer than other people anyway.

But now they were all talking about something beyond her control. They could all see what had happened to her, right on her face, and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Even with all her supposed power, her amazing abilities that Cinza and the others wouldn't shut up about, Natalie was helpless.

And every single word, every glance and pointed finger, every gesture and mocking tone sent her mind tumbling back into flashes of memory. Painful, horrible memories where she felt overwhelmed and afraid, and was forced to hurt everyone around her to protect herself.

"I bet she just cut herself to get attention like any stupid girl."

Natalie wheeled around, but she couldn't spot who said it. Everyone in the hall was watching her, and this time she wasn't imagining it. Absolutely every single kid, standing at a locker, hanging out with friends, waiting in front of a closed classroom door — every eyeball was locked on her. None of them were familiar, and every last one seemed derisive and cruel.

Ignore them. You're better than them.

She couldn't do it.

Natalie bolted down the hall, nearly barrelling through two kids who just managed to get out of the way. Lucky for them, since Natalie was pretty sure she'd turned on her strength magic without even thinking about it. If they'd been in the way, she didn't honestly know how much they'd get hurt.

She was really good at hurting people, and that realization made her feel even more sick.

"Miss Heshire!" snapped a harsh voice, just as Natalie reached the end of the hall. She came to a stop instinctively, despite herself. The din of conversation in the hall came to an abrupt halt as well. The principal had exactly that sort of authoritative voice that could stop anyone in their tracks.

Natalie didn't answer, staring determinedly at the wall. She could feel the eyes of the rest of the students back in the hall on her neck, as if they were actually pressing down on her.

"My office, please."

Robotically, Natalie complied, following the old woman back into her office, while the conversations in the hall immediately started up again, and though Natalie couldn't hear any of them, she knew every single one of them was talking about her again.

Quinn didn't say anything for a full minute, just staring at the little candle flame floating above Natalie's palm. She glanced around nervously, reassuring herself no one could see them.

"That is so cool," he murmured. He reached out his hand toward the flame, and Natalie saw it coming out of the corner of her eye. She flinched away before he could get close. "Oh, uhh… sorry."

"It's real, if that's what you were wondering." She moved it out to float above the table instead of her hand. He cupped his hand around it, and his eyes lit up as he felt the warmth emanating from the little fire.

"Amazing. This is how the deck of cards floated around, right? Last time we were here."

Natalie glanced up, surprised. "You remembered that?"

He shrugged. "I mean, you have a lot of secrets. I just figured it was something you wanted to keep secret too. So I pretended not to see it."

"Oh." He notices everything…

"It's really cool though."

"It's scary," Natalie said, letting the flame fade away.

"What's scary? Magic?"

"No… everything else."

He didn't answer, and Natalie finally looked up at him again. His expression was thoughtful, almost like when he was thinking over a move in the game. He was planning, and that made her feel a lot better. She wanted someone else to come up with something, an answer to what she should do next. Every time she made a decision it just seemed to go wrong.

"This is why you're in hiding, right?"

She nodded.

"But it's not witness protection? Or like, anything from the government?"

Natalie shook her head. "We have to hide from them too."

Quinn nodded. "They never do anything good with superpowers."

"It's not superpowers."

"I mean, it kind of is…"

She shook her head again. "It isn't. I got to choose."

His eyes lit up. "Does that mean I could…" He trailed off, seeing her expression. "Oh."

"Sorry… it just doesn't really work like that."

Even if she had a Scrap he could read from, Natalie wasn't sure anybody else should read from them anymore. Magic sure hadn't seemed to bring much good to the world, despite everything Rachel and Cinza always said. Natalie liked what she could do, and she'd never regret making friends with Gwen, but more people with magic meant more scary people like Julian, or Rika, or… him. The one who'd taken her dad.

Quinn's eyes drifted over to the bandages stuck awkwardly to her face. The gang members had used duct tape to hold the cloth on, and while Cinza had helped adjust them a bit to stick better, Natalie hadn't really touched them since. She'd taken a bath and washed her hair without letting the water get near, and she never touched it to avoid setting off another spike of pain. She just wanted to pretend it wasn't there, but from the way Quinn couldn't take his eyes off it, she knew she had to give up on that hope.

"What happened?" he asked, just as she was opening her mouth to answer. She'd been about to launch into a full recounting, but the moment he spoke, she faltered. Cinza told her to find a real friend, and she'd already trusted Quinn with so much, but she didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to tell anyone. There were only two people in the whole world who knew what she'd done — the kind of things she was really capable of — and that was already two too many.

On the other hand, unless Natalie wanted to lose the only lifeline to the real world she had left, there was no way she could get through school without someone to support her.

A friend.

"I ran away on Friday. I went downtown and stayed out all night. And I kinda… ended up in the wrong part of town." She took a deep breath. She couldn't tell him everything. Her mind refused to voice the other part of that night. "There was a gang, and I walked into their hideout by accident. And they… they cut me." She winced, as even saying it aloud made her feel nauseous. "They said it was a mark that'd get me killed if I went anywhere I wasn't supposed to."

"Oh man…" Quinn nodded. "Yeah. They weren't lying."

"They weren't?" Natalie whispered. She'd been holding onto that as a vague hope, since it still seemed weird to her. Like, maybe they were just playing some sick joke, or it wasn't as bad as it sounded.

Quinn definitely wasn't joking. "Steven told me all about them. He only moved into our neighborhood like two years ago, so he had to know all that stuff. There were like three or four gangs to know, and all of 'em had a certain mark they put on people. If you had that mark and you went into another gang's turf… well, yeah."

Natalie felt her heart drop into her stomach. "So just because I got lost, they'd kill me if I go anywhere near them?"

"...Yeah, they would. It forces people into working for them, 'cause they don't have anywhere else to go." Quinn glanced at the bandages hiding the scar again. "They're not gonna be happy about this at school either. I know a kid got kicked out for having a gang symbol before. It's a whole zero tolerance thing."

"But I'm not a member. I'd never join a gang."

"They marked you anyway, 'cause they can. I think they force kids to work for them. Steven could explain it better." Quinn shook his head. "It really sucks. I'm sorry."

"How am I supposed to go back to school like this?"

He frowned. "It's not from this area. Maybe they won't know. What did Lily say about it?"

Natalie choked out a bitter laugh. "Nothing. I don't think they even noticed."

"They?"

"Uhhh…" She trailed off. "Lily has a sister. They both take care of me. Well, they own the house at least." She shrugged. "I got home yesterday looking like this and Lily just told me to be more careful."

"Wow…"

Natalie felt a burst of newfound gratitude to Quinn. Finally, someone actually seemed to recognize what she was going through and express some sympathy. Cinza tried her best, but she had so much to deal with already, and she didn't really know the whole story.

Neither did Quinn, but at least he was actually on her level. She felt like she could understand him, and so maybe he could understand her too.

"The principal already told me if there was another incident that we'd have to 'deal with it'," she added. "I think this would count. If they don't already kick me out for burning the desk and ditching school Friday."

"How'd you do that?"

"Ditch school? I just left. It's not like anyone actually tries to stop you."

"No, how did you burn the desk?"

"Oh." Natalie shrugged. "I was making lightning with my hands. I kinda didn't notice though, and then you touched the metal. That made a circuit."

His eyes widened. "You can just make lightning?"

She shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "...Yeah. But that doesn't really help me get back to school."

Quinn's excited expression faded. He shook his head. "Okay, so we gotta figure out how to cover for you." His eyes lit up again, in the same way they always did when he was about to make a clever move in the game. "I got an idea. But we're gonna need the whole gang."

She winced at the word 'gang', and Quinn — ever observant — noticed it right away.

"Sorry. The group. Is that all right?"

"Yes," Natalie replied, without thinking. Wait. Should I tell them all? Is that okay? Rachel wanted us to stay secret. Cinza only said to tell a friend. Are they my friends?

As Quinn pulled out his phone and started texting, Natalie reminded herself that she didn't really know what having friends was like. Or if she did, it was someone like Jenny, the girl from home whose name she'd taken. She had to figure it out for herself if they were all friends, and if they were people she trusted.

Hiding and running's just made things worse. I don't want to hide anymore. Not from my friends.