Chapter 8 — Making a Difference

Hailey couldn't help feeling a little guilty dragging Rupert around the city—but every little burst of joy on Jessica's face made it totally worth his suffering.

"How on earth do you manage to find so much rubbish to buy?" he grumbled, hoisting yet another bag onto his arm.

"I did offer to carry them all myself," Hailey pointed out, tapping her own bag for effect.

"You also said that was too much of a risk."

"A real gentlema— ooh, Jess, that looks great!" Jessica had just popped up from behind a rack with an infinity scarf that matched the gorgeous blue in her hair. She put it on, and Hailey clapped her hands in delight. She gave Jessica a very exuberant thumbs up.

"How much?" Rupert asked.

"Oh hush. I'll pay for any of hers." Hailey grinned. "You can just stick to buying me gifts."

Jessica sauntered over to the counter and set it down, and Hailey quickly paid before the cashier could start to ask her any questions. Jessica watched the money exchange with a passing look of disappointment, sending another tiny twinge of guilt through Hailey's stomach. Sure, she could probably remember how much each bill was worth just from the pictures, but it didn't mean much if she couldn't read the price tags anymore.

Still, Hailey didn't regret for a second taking Jessica on this little excursion. After the panicked rush out to Natalie and the subsequent week of flying around with Alden to introduce even more newly awakened, Jessica was clearly in need of a break. Hailey felt totally ready to keep going, but she could tell that Jessica was increasingly frustrated at all the meetings with zero ability to contribute. Hailey wanted to make sure she didn't feel taken for granted, so she'd arranged a trip out with Rupert.

Despite his complaints, Rupert looked just as pleased as she did whenever Jessica's face lit up at another store. Once again confirming he's literally the greatest boyfriend ever.

"I wonder," he started, as they walked through the mall to the next store that caught her eye. "Has she ever been to Seattle?"

"I don't think so." Hailey shrugged. "We never went, and she's getting so hyped up over even the touristy stuff, so I'd guess no."

"Did she ever even make it out of Rallsburg?"

"Not so loud," Hailey hissed.

He winced. "Sorry."

No one had been anywhere near them, so Hailey relaxed again. "I know she went on a couple family trips when she was little, plus going to Olympia whenever they needed to visit a real doctor. That's all she mentioned though."

"Shame she has to experience the city like this."

"There's plenty to do even without being able to read," Hailey said determinedly. "I'm still gonna show her a great time."

Rupert gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Anything I can do, just say the word."

Her plans went off without a hitch. Hailey had grown up in Seattle, so she had a list of favorite spots and hangouts already down. They visited most of them one by one. Great restaurants and stores, spots by the Sound and quiet obscure coffeeshops where Hailey had gone to do classwork. Jessica drank it all in, excited by even the smallest details.

As they walked down the coast, Hailey and Rupert were checking out one of the vendor stalls when they realized they'd lost her. It took only a minute's panicked search to find her again, just a block away. She'd stopped to listen to a pair of street musicians, a drummer and a guitarist playing a duet.

Far more surprising, she was dancing—dancing well.

"Did you know she could do that?" Rupert asked, sounding dazed.

"I mean, she's always kinda danced around the house, but not like that…" Hailey murmured. "And never in public."

"Our Jessica, though?" His eyebrows raised at the sight.

Hailey had to agree. Comparing this twirling, springing sprite to the demure, timid girl Hailey had first met was night and day. Despite the growing crowd and the enthusiastic musicians, Jessica was keeping pace and not missing a step. It seemed out of character, until Hailey thought about it for a moment.

"They can't make fun of her anymore."

"Hmm?"

Hailey smiled, but she felt so bittersweet about it. "She's not embarrassed because she's given up on actually knowing what anyone's saying. No one can mock her, so she can do whatever she wants."

"I believe you underestimate the great hecklers of our age."

She laughed, but couldn't hide the sour edge. "Maybe, but she doesn't care anymore."

"Ah," Rupert said, finally catching on to Hailey's mixed emotions. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

As they hit a crescendo and Jessica made a huge leap, the crowd burst into applause. Hailey joined in wholeheartedly, honestly impressed by her moves.

"She understands that," Rupert pointed out. He was right. A wide smile erupted onto her face at the chorus of clapping hands, even as she continued to improvise movements in time with the music.

Hailey felt a tear forming in the corner of her eye and quickly brushed it away. "Yeah."

The musicians finished their song, to another round of applause. The crowd quickly dispersed, dropping a few dollars here and there into the guitar case. The drummer, a very intense looking girl with a ponytail and an old t-shirt, stood up and made a beeline for Jessica.

Hailey clicked her tongue. "A Nirvana t-shirt? Seriously?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's just so… typical."

Rupert laughed. "That doesn't diminish their quality."

The drummer offered Jessica a water bottle, which she gratefully accepted. Hailey saw an opportunity in the making for a quick experiment.

Ever since her last conversation with Beverly, Hailey had been trying to figure out how to cast spells related to those connections she'd talked about. Hailey didn't have any malicious intent; she just wanted to make sure she could cover as many bases of magic as she could manage. Who knew when such a thing might come in handy?

She hadn't told anyone else. After all, none of them knew she was talking with Grey-eyes, and it wasn't like she could find out from Rachel. She had to figure this one out on her own. After weeks of practice at home, Hailey had finally found a promising start.

Beverly had talked about how relationships actually existed outside people, which was the key Hailey needed. Conceptualizing them as tangible things, Hailey slowly pushed her way into visualizing them in midair. It was vague and insubstantial, but it worked. Problem was, Hailey couldn't see anyone else's. All she could find were connections that branched off of herself.

She wondered if that marked her as a particularly vain individual, but brushed it away. It would improve with practice. In the meantime, she could explore past herself by following those first few connections into their proceeding branches, though her vision faded quickly after just one segment. The two strongest relationships, Rupert and Jessica, branched again as she watched them hanging out in her room. They had their own vague line, but it was entirely different from the lines drawn to Hailey herself.

Hailey didn't figure out why until she tried it again at a meeting with Cinza, Ruby and Nikki. She realized that she could actually tell what sort of relationship they had, not just that it existed. Jessica and Rupert's showed their love, just as clear as the immeasurably strong bond between Cinza and Ruby.

Now, Hailey was curious to see the line drawn between Jessica and a total stranger. To her surprise, there was already a bond forming, though it was clearly far stronger in one direction than the other. Jessica was only barely paying any attention to the drummer, but the other girl had set her sights so quickly, Hailey was surprised she hadn't noticed without magic.

That could be a problem… Hailey dropped the spell and moved quickly to join them, Rupert at her heels.

"—'s your name?"

"Jess!" Hailey called. Upon seeing her face, Jessica's cheeks went bright red. She pulled her brand new scarf up and her hood low, retreating again. There's the Jess I know.

"You guys friends?" the drummer asked.

"Yeah."

"You're a great dancer, Jess," she continued. "I feel like you deserve some of these tips." Jessica didn't know how to respond, so she just took another drink from the bottle before handing it back without a word. The drummer looked dismayed. "I say somethin' wrong?"

"She's deaf," Rupert explained quickly.

Rupert, why would she be dancing to the music then? Hailey fumed.

"Oh." The drummer looked really confused. Jessica smiled at her though, and she smiled back.

Hailey jumped in. "She can still feel the rhythm. Props to your drumming," she added with a smile.

"Thanks." The girl glanced around. "You guys doing anything tonight? We'll be hitting up a few clubs, could get you in."

In another life, Hailey would have said yes without a heartbeat. In that life, Hailey would have been the one leading the charge to those same night clubs. Not anymore.

"Sorry, we've got plans. Thanks though!" Hailey took Jessica's hand.

"Well, here. Lemme give you my number. We can hang out sometime."

She jotted it down, and they turned to leave. Hailey felt a wave of melancholy and regret washing up into her, knowing where this could never lead.

"See you around!" the drummer called after them.

"What was that about?" Rupert asked, as soon as they were out of earshot.

Jessica, totally oblivious, was already moving onto the next attraction. They were headed for dinner, and she'd spotted a seafood place up ahead. Hailey dropped her voice low, even though she realized it was pointless. "...That girl was about to ask her out."

"What's wrong with th… ah."

"Nothing's wrong with it at all," Hailey sighed. "That's the problem." Rupert put an arm around her shoulder, and Hailey leaned into him while they walked.

"Do you think she'll ever be able to meet someone?"

She shrugged. "I mean, once this is all out in the open and it's not so weird to explain, maybe? But I don't know. I don't even know if it was just me or it was all girls. She only told me the day it happened."

"You never asked?"

"...I felt too embarrassed to bring it up."

Rupert grinned. "And you accused her of being the shy one."

"Shut up." She nudged him playfully.

"Still, there's no reason to think she couldn't find someone someday," Rupert continued thoughtfully. "Especially once she solves the problem."

"If she does."

"Hm?"

Hailey hesitated, watching Jessica examine the pictures in the menu. "I get the sense she's not really trying. You saw it too back there. She's not so shy now, she doesn't try to hide anymore."

"So she doesn't want to fix it?"

"She did at first. Right after the ritual, she was a mess. She kept breaking down trying to talk to me and—" Hailey cut off, remembering that she'd never told Rupert about the others. "Let's just say we're lucky she pulled herself back together at all."

"But now you think she's too far gone."

"Yeah." Hailey stepped up and ordered for them. As soon as the food arrived, they picked a table all the way out on the pier, where they could watch the birds circling above the ships coming and going. "I feel like she's convinced herself she's happier this way."

"What if she is?" asked Rupert. Hailey opened her mouth indignantly, but he raised a hand to forestall her. "I'm not saying that's certain. But if it's what she really wants, who are we to say otherwise?"

"I can't believe that," she whispered. "I just can't."