Chapter 27 — To Kill a God

A few minutes into the woods, Rachel suddenly stopped. Alden watched her warily. Her eyes were red and haunted. She seemed like she might snap at any moment, and Alden didn't know her well enough to have any idea what form such a breakdown might take. On top of that, she had a loaded pistol stuffed in her bag. Alden assumed she was hiding it from Natalie, who was currently leading them through the thick forest on her wolf.

"Natalie," Rachel called out. Natalie glanced over her shoulder. "Wait up a moment."

She nodded and leaned down to whisper in the wolf's ear, bringing them to a halt.

"Something wrong?" Alden asked.

Rachel leaned up against a tree. "No. I just need a second." She pulled out a water bottle and took a deep swallow. "You're sure you can do this?"

"Yeah." In truth, Alden wasn't sure at all. Yes, he knew how the magic worked and had a rough idea of interfering with others, but he'd never gone up against someone. He'd never been in a real fight. Would he be able to handle himself when facing down a god?

There wasn't really another option. Everyone in Rallsburg was dead if he couldn't.

"Okay." Rachel drained the water bottle. "Natalie?"

"Is it time to go?"

"No," Rachel said, and Alden spotted a flash of regret across her face as her eyes softened. "Natalie, I need you to leave."

"Huh?"

"Just for a little while."

"But I can help you. I can fight him!" Natalie protested.

"He's not going to fall for the same bait twice. If you're nearby, I don't think he'll show up. You can't be here," Rachel said firmly. "Go back to town."

"What am I supposed to do there?"

Rachel faltered. Alden wasn't sure why she was sending Natalie away, but she seemed to have a plan, while Alden didn't have the faintest idea what to do next. He jumped into the silence she'd left open.

"Nat, you should go find Hailey and Jessica. They're helping people get away from the monsters." He forced a smile. "You'd be great at that."

"I hate being called 'Nat'."

Alden shrugged. "I hate being called Alden, but it's what they named me."

"That's a weird name."

"And 'Scrappy' isn't a weird name?"

"No, Scrappy's a great name."

Rachel coughed gently, reminding Alden that they really didn't have time. "Natalie, those people really need your help. You're the only one that can beat the monsters."

Natalie looked confused. "Aren't you guys gonna need me then?"

"We're not planning to get into a fight," Rachel answered. "We'd lose, even if you were there."

"We'll see you afterward. Just stick with Hailey and Jessica, help people and try to put out the fires, and we'll find you."

Natalie looked at Rachel expectantly. "You promise?"

Rachel nodded. "I promise."

Natalie whispered something to Gwen. The wolf turned around and started back toward town. She shot Alden a hungry look, like he were a tasty snack she'd been forbidden from eating. Alden shuddered a little. Natalie didn't seem to notice, as she was focused on the darkening sky above. The rain clouds were arriving in earnest now and water was beginning to trickle down. In minutes it would likely become a fierce downpour. Natalie made a gesture in midair and shouted out something neither of them understood.

Her hawk shot down out of the sky and landed neatly on Gwen's head, ruffling its feathers and spraying water about. The trio rode away in relative silence.

"She's not wrong," Alden pointed out.

"Neither was I. If we get into a straight fight with Omega—Natalie or no Natalie—we won't win." Rachel started walking, and Alden fell in step with her. It took him a bit more effort to keep up with her long stride, but he didn't want to follow her around blindly.

"But you do still plan on killing him."

"Yes."

"I hold him down and you shoot him, right?"

"Pretty much."

Alden wasn't convinced yet. "How are we going to pull that off? It's not like he's just gonna stay still long enough for me to cast the spell."

"He won't even know we're there."

"So he's going to run out to a random point in the woods, see no one, and stick around long enough for me to get him?"

"I didn't say there wouldn't be anyone there."

"Who, then?"

Rachel didn't answer him, forging ahead determinedly. "We won't need Natalie's protection anyway. You and I will be totally safe."

Alden wondered how she could be so certain. The golems certainly didn't seem to be discriminating between targets. Several had nearly hit him, both in the woods and in the town. Why would Rachel be so confident in their safety? Unless…

"Grey-eyes is still protecting you," Alden guessed.

"Yes," she replied. "She won't fight for us, but she won't let us die either."

"Why?"

"You want me to explain her?" Rachel asked incredulously. "I don't understand her. I don't understand anyone. I kept trying, but every time I took a step forward, something else went wrong. Someone else got hurt, or had to do something terrible, or died. I had my best friend accused of murder. My boyfriend was almost killed. Now the town's been destroyed, half my friends are probably dead or in hiding, and it's because of something I set in motion."

Alden shook his head. "Omega did all this."

"Not all of it. If I hadn't lied, or if I'd been better about actually taking charge of this mess, maybe we wouldn't ever have gotten this bad." Rachel dabbed her face with a tissue from her bag. "I was stupid to think I could be a leader, just because I could cast a few spells and did a neat trick on my brain. I've never been smart enough to handle this."

"Rika—"

Rachel laughed bitterly. "Rika's perspective is just as skewed as yours. You've only been here a week, Alden. Worst week of my life, but still, just a week. Neither of you know how many opportunities I probably had to stop this. I was supposed to be the brilliant leader and politician. I could have set rules, kept an eye on people, done something to keep things under control. I was following some stupid high-minded idealism about pure democracy."

She shook her head in dismay. "It didn't work. I failed. Even if we somehow survive this, the whole town's in chaos and the outside world's already found out about us. It's only going to get worse from here." Rachel's hand went back into her bag, clenching around what Alden assumed was the pistol. "At least I can try to clean up the leftovers."

"You saved me," Alden pointed out.

"What?"

"At Boris' shop, when we were all about to die. You saved us."

Rachel shook her head. "I was just there. Grey-eyes and Natalie saved you."

"But you brought them there, didn't you?" She didn't answer. Her eyes darted away, but Alden could tell she was thinking about what he'd said. "Plenty of people would have just run away. You've been trying to beat him every time, no matter what comes up. You're still trying, even though you probably could get away with the protection you have. You haven't given up. I think that you're a great leader."

Rachel sighed. "I don't lead anything anymore." She stopped again, leaning up against a tree. Everything about her posture and her expression practically shouted her depression. Alden had no idea how to help her. "Why are you here though? You've seen what we're up against."

"Where am I gonna go?" Alden pointed out. "My best chance to live is to help you kill him."

Rachel frowned. "No, that's not it. You're not like Rika, or you'd have ditched right alongside her."

"I've got friends here. I don't want him to kill any of you either."

The corner of her mouth twitched slightly as she broke into a half-smile. "You realize what that says about her, right?"

He shrugged. "She made her choice. I didn't leave, and neither did Natalie, or Hailey and Jessica. You've still got people willing to fight for you."

"And I wasted them all," Rachel replied, standing up again. She started walking again. "Come on. We're running out of time."

Alden was mostly silent for the rest of their trek, to which Rachel was immensely grateful. She appreciated that he was trying to make her feel better, but he hadn't said anything she hadn't already thought of. Every time she tried to break her depression, the depth of her failure sunk in even deeper. She only had to look back at the growing orange glow in the distance to see her losses painted in flames across the town.

"At least it's starting to rain," Alden pointed out, following her gaze.

"Natalie can take care of fire either way," Rachel replied. "Come on."

Alden fell silent again as they walked. Rachel felt the mounting guilt in her chest again, tightening her insides in knots, but this time it was tinged with something else. It wasn't desperation or fear anymore. No, the guilt was paired with a bleak acceptance. She knew there wasn't any other way, and she'd stopped trying to think of alternatives. Her entire incredible mental capacity, which she'd tried for so long to use for the sake of the world, had grinded to a halt. She'd given up.

So why was she still walking?

Because I don't want to die.

Even though she'd completely failed her life's work?

My life isn't over yet.

He'd killed many of the people she'd worked with. He turned her into a backstabbing monster.

I'm not going to let his actions define who I am. I did what I had to do.

He'd come after the ones she loved, framing Rika and maiming Will.

All the more reason to put an end to this.

She'd stolen from and lied to the people she was supposed to represent.

It was the best possible course of action at the time.

She was about to betray a close friend's trust yet again.

"I'm doing what I have to do," she murmured. Alden didn't hear her, but her words were only meant for herself. She was thinking aloud, since she didn't have Will to help her work through her fears and doubts.

Rachel's other companion had returned though, and she had much sharper hearing. "You're planning on killing him," Beverly accused, barely audible next to her.

Rachel didn't bother trying to fool her again. It wasn't worth the effort. "Are you going to warn him?"

Beverly didn't answer. Rachel continued, at a subvocal level that she knew only Beverly would hear. "He would have killed your brother too. You know that. He'll never stop, and Alpha isn't coming to hold him back anymore."

"I know."

"So will you warn him?"

"...No."

Rachel didn't feel relieved. If anything, she was more devastated. Even Grey-eyes had given up on the situation. "Where is Alpha?"

"I don't know. He was supposed to be here."

"But he hasn't shown up to help."

"No…"

Even through a whisper, Rachel could hear Beverly's distress. Rachel had only met Alpha a few times in the early days of the Council. He'd always appeared as a bright outline of a man, speaking with a distorted voice to hide his identity. He was aloof, but ultimately a champion of magic. As she understood it, though, he was utterly hands-off to a fault. He only stepped in to stop Omega according to his strictly defined rules, which Omega had subsequently found a way to circumvent. Rachel didn't expect him to show up to help, if he was even in a position to do so.

Still, the trio had obviously been friends at some point before their schism. Rachel felt for her. "I'm sure he's okay."

She didn't answer.

Rachel wanted to talk further, maybe even build up some kind of rapport, but she'd run out of time. They'd arrived at the clearing. The air seemed to shimmer slightly in front of them as they passed through the illusions around the outset. It was hard to notice the exact border, but as they walked further in, Rachel spotted the faint irregularities that marked the unnatural transition in the trees. Some of them were fake, placed in such a way to deter any attempts to penetrate deeper into the forest, where their true destination lay.

It was only a few more minutes until they were in position.