《Dungeon Scholar》5.5 - The Companions (1) - Landslide Love

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He was driving a team of adventurers.

Tony Miller had been working in cities for nearly eight years now, but he still saw himself as a country boy. Adventurers were the ones who swaggered through, casually killing monsters and collecting everybody's savings as payment. They were the ones who left, who didn't look back, and who village girls and boys sighed over for very different reasons.

Adventurers were the ones stories were told about.

Tony, though, was just a driver. Sure, he tried to be a nice guy. He was the kind of person who'd offer free rides to little old ladies, keep an eye out for lost pets, and give dropped coins or purses back to their owners. So when he learned of the landslide in Nomalia, he naturally offered to help. Some people apparently needed a driver, and he was one. Everybody should do their part, right?

But he hadn't realized they would be adventurers. Not that he would treat them any differently! He just had this crazy urge to blurt out he'd almost become an adventurer himself, bought a sword and everything, and practiced nearly three months with no Skill to show for it before giving up. Or, they probably heard this all the time too, but he wanted to say adventurers saved his village from a rampaging monster when he was a kid. He wanted to ask for their personal adventuring stories; was it really all guts and glory?

Honestly, he was so awed and intimidated and hopeful he probably came off as a total fool. These adventurers weren't even close to the ones from his childhood. They were a lot younger for one, maybe too young, but then the sharp-eyed duo in the back made him gulp and face front again. That archer was constantly, coolly scanning their surroundings, and he'd swear the mage could read his mind.

But this Bessie Bridgett was a real celestial. With her beautiful brown hair and bright blue eyes, her kindness and confidence... if only she were just a few years older.

He wished at least he could show himself in a more cool moment, when he wasn't borrowing the oldest, cheapest horse and cart in the guild. He envisioned riding up in a steed-drawn carriage worthy of an adventure, of the grandeur of the Penopean Mountains... then of so much rock and earth tumbling down, sweeping away the rich and poor alike.

No, he wasn't going near that. Team Multi-Movers might be young, but in his mind they were real heroes already.

As for him, he sought out New Minoar, the nearest city according to his map. Thankfully, this wasn't anywhere near the capital, where buildings had toppled and fires and fighting broken out.

Here, he arrived to find a city that showed no signs of a natural disaster, and business at the Guildhall was even booming, people gathering in droves to drink and gossip. Turning away from the grim news, he headed for the bar. He planned to buy a drink out of courtesy before relaxing by a different play orb, showing one of his favorite adventure melodramas.

"Pardon," a rich voice spoke in accented Common. "You are a driver, yes?"

To his surprise, the speaker was looking at him. She appeared to be a local, wearing an exotic wrap dress complimenting her tanned skin and decorated with colorful beads, which were also woven through her magnificent mane of dark hair. Maybe she was some sort of entertainer.

"Sorry," he said on reflex, "I'm currently on business." She arched her brows expressively, and he realized how he must look. "Waiting on volunteers at the Penopeans," he clarified and couldn't resist adding, "Adventurers."

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"My." She didn't miss a beat, looking suitably impressed. "Did you also volunteer? I'm Kiara, by the way. Where are you from?"

He had to laugh. "Tony Miller, from Wilton in Grimmark, and now I know you want something from me."

"Just your driving," she said, but she was smiling in a way that suggested more. He didn't blame her or read into it. This was just how Companions did business: those who didn't know how to tease, flirt, and charm learned quickly, or stood out awkwardly. "Your adventurers keep you waiting a while, yes? Why not try your own adventure with me?"

"I'm listening," he said, intrigued.

"In brief, I am a private tour guide." She peered up at him through her lashes with large, dark eyes. She was actually quite pretty, though it was her voice that struck him the most. "My driver rushed to check up on family, leaving me in dire need of a new one, just for today. If you would be so kind?"

Well, he did want to have a look around Nomalia anyway, but... "You're still working? At a time like this?"

"Why not? I slept right through our earthquake. Most here taking time off are just, how to say, using the excuse" -- the words should have sounded harsh, but shaped in Kiara's beautifully modulated voice, were just right -- "but I took all this time preparing and have two tourists expecting a good time. Supposedly they're here on their honeymoon."

It was his turn to raise his brows. "Supposedly?"

"I offer a discount for special occasions. But let us be real, yes? Who comes to Nomalia, to New Minoar, for their honeymoon? We are known for our poverty, our hot weather, and now our earthquakes, apparently."

Her deadpan delivery made Tony laugh despite himself. "No, that's terrible!" He cleared his throat. "You don't call them out on it?"

"And spoil my fun?" Her face spread slowly into a smile that was either pure mischief or evil. "No, I just play with them until they cry uncle."

"Wow," he managed. Tony hadn't realized he could be attracted to naughtiness. "I need to see that."

"So you're coming?"

He knew he was supposed to start talking terms, doubling his rate considering the dual emergencies, but he was in a generous mood with nothing better to do. Why not spend it in such lovely company?

Yes, he was falling for the typical Companion tricks. But so long as she kept looking at him like that until he left Nomalia, he thought he'd be pretty satisfied. "Guess I don't really need to see pirates roasted a third time."

Kiara flashed a triumphant smile as she led him out, tossing back over her shoulder, "Bah, the next season's much better."

He nearly missed a step. She even liked the same show? "Blasphemy," he cried, "Angela dies!"

"You have to admit her death was glorious. Stabbed, poisoned, and then dropped into a vat of boiling acid?"

"You are a wicked, wicked woman. Also, your accent slipped there."

She looked briefly chagrined before laughing as well. "Ah, how amateurish of me. Don't tell?"

To his relief, Kiara had her own conveyance needing only a driver, making him wait outside until she unveiled the whole set with a flourish. Even though he'd braced himself seeing her mischievous smile, he still stared open-mouthed at the horses wearing flower crowns and necklaces, the open-air carriage garishly decorated with more pink and red flowers, and above all, the backrest dominated by an enormous heart-shaped pillow... strewn with, yes, still more flowers.

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She broke into cackling laughter at his reaction. "Oh, isn't it glorious?"

"I think they'd hate it even if they're a real couple," he said while climbing in after her.

"If they were truly lovey-dovey, they wouldn't care if they looked like idiots. Turn left here."

Something in Kiara's tone made Tony give her a long look, after following her direction. "You really think so?"

"Sure. What else is love? Just keep going straight until I say otherwise. That's our theme today, by the way. 'What else is love?' I'm repeating it as often as possible. One time my theme was 'you two are perfect together,' and when the fake honeymooners finally cracked they shouted, 'we aren't perfect, and we aren't together!'"

"Uh." She had to be one of the oddest Companions he'd ever met, and that was saying something. "And you still have customers?"

"I provide a complete experience, I'm cheap, and at least one fake couple became real on my tour. This romance business is ridiculous but can really work, you know?"

His heart skipped a beat. The way she was smiling up at him...

But then he gave himself a firm shake. He'd accepted her offer, meaning if he did ask her out, he would have to at least wait until after the job. That was basic Companion courtesy, the unofficial second rule right after 'we're all friends here.' Business first, then try your pleasure, whether that was women, drink, or melodrama.

Instead, he asked, "Sure you know the way?" And realizing how he sounded: "If you can point out today's destinations on my map, I can maybe help."

"I'll guide. Trust me." Thankfully, she seemed amused rather than offended, knowing how drivers could be with directions. "Let me guess, you're a believer in old-fashioned maps?"

"I'm a traditionalist." He tried not to feel defensive. He liked the feel of the paper, of tracing the route by hand. "No artifact guides for me."

"Me too," she said, and even more unexpectedly: "Have you ever done a treasure hunt?"

"Um, what? No." He laughed. "Who does that? Children?"

"Pity, they can be surprisingly exciting." She smiled at him, eyes bright. "The hunt, the anticipation, the flush of victory and claiming of the prize..."

"Er." He swallowed through a suddenly dry throat. "Well, when you put it like that..." Though she could probably read a laundry list and sound like she was reciting love poetry.

Kiara had him pull up at a thatched house in a residential neighborhood, a cheap affair with a lush but overgrown garden. "They are staying with local friends," she explained, her accent noticeably becoming more pronounced. "Wait just a moment."

Indeed it didn't take long before she reemerged with a pair wearing the gauziest of clothing and wide-brimmed hats. "And this is Tony," she said, "Who has been kind enough to take over for today! Tony, this is Amy and David, newlyweds..."

They obviously weren't related: Amy had blonde hair to David's black, and olive skin to his brown. They were even wearing matching rings. Were they really a fake couple?

Maybe Kiara was reading too much into their visible loathing of the over-the-top transport. They'd stopped short on seeing it, before trudging forward reluctantly. David said, "Didn't Dev need the, um, that?"

"He took a horse. No worries, for you lovebirds, your specially prepared carriage."

"Great," Amy said with heavy sarcasm.

Kiara pretended not to notice. "We have several possibilities for today, but I assume you will wish to see our 'wishing bridge'? Legend says if you kiss at the top while both wishing to stay together forever, you will be blessed with a long and happy marriage... what else is love?"

David was staring in slack-jawed horror, looking like that was the opposite of what he wished. "That sounds lovely," Amy lied, "But what were those other options?"

To Tony's surprise, they started on a proper tour after. Their guide smoothly directed him while pointing out the different sights, combining public history with personal anecdotes. Every other street seemed to hold some place of significance, causing her to speak nearly nonstop.

"On the right you'll find the Grover House, supposedly haunted. They say Mr. Grover cut a deal with Grimmark, but his terrified family had already killed themselves; their bodies weren't found until after the war. Turn right at the end of this street. When I was a little girl, we children used to dare each other to go inside haunted Grover's. Then we finally agreed to go in together... and we couldn't make it past the warded gate. On the left..."

In one of her rare pauses, David asked, "What are the tents for?"

"Those are new," Kiara said.

"Because of the earthquake?" Amy's voice rose in alarm. "I thought you said you only felt a few tremors!"

This last appeared to be directed at her 'husband.' Kiara said, "I do not think we have so many damaged buildings. Possibly the people are in tents to feel safer?"

That was a sober reminder of the situation. Not everybody could continue life like usual, working or taking a tour. After a minute, she resumed presenting her city.

Their first stop was a relic site. Kiara tipped a worker to watch the horses, a courtesy Tony hadn't expected, but he was glad to continue the tour with them.

"We are in luck. Normally we would have to wait in line to enter, but today..." Her voice seemed to echo eerily as they walked through the ruins, transitioning to an explanation of where and which ancient artifacts had been unearthed.

This was also where her clients' reprieve ended. "Closer together," she urged, holding their image box aloft. "These are your honeymoon pictures, yes?"

The two exchanged awkward glances before even more awkwardly attempting an embrace. Tony really had to wonder at their relationship. He didn't consider himself much of an actor, but he thought he could do better with a total stranger.

"Let's all take one together." Amy quick-stepped away to snatch the image box back. "I love your hair, Kiara. Where did you say you got it done again?"

Afterwards, the duo were only too happy to separate and explore independently for a bit. Tony waited and then whispered, mindful of how voices could carry here, "I think I can see why you like 'honeymooners.' Are they normally this bad?"

"At acting? No." Kiara sighed and shook her head. "They haven't even fake kissed."

"Weak," he agreed. "I bet you could make them crack within the day."

"Why Tony." She turned a smile on him. "Are you challenging me? What do you want if you win?"

Did she mean to say that so... so suggestively? He imagined asking for a kiss, like this were a scene out of a melodrama, but then the image shifted to one of her gasping in outrage and slapping him soundly.

But he had to say something. "I'd like it if you showed me your favorite place around here."

"So sure it's not here?" She gestured around the deserted ruins with a serious expression.

"Don't forget the haunted house," he returned, equally seriously.

He wasn't sure which of them cracked first, but their mingled laughter was quickly becoming one of his favorite sounds in the world. When he'd recovered his breath, he reminded them both, "You still haven't said what you want."

She slanted him a smile. "Something like what you do."

The couple returned before he could respond, looking sweaty and tired, but then they'd complained of the heat while sitting still. "Thirsty, yes?" Kiara said, eyeing them. "Drinks here are, what do you say, tourist traps. So. We go to just the place."

She directed them to a packed café nearby with a cozy theme, decorated in soft blues and greens with couches and low tables instead of chairs. Happily, the interior was refreshingly cool, and the menu prices some of the lowest he'd seen.

They were all just starting to relax when Kiara said with sadistic timing, "If you two lovebirds want to share, you can request this adorable heart-shaped straw. So romantic. Sharing a cool drink on a hot day..."

Her eyes locked with Tony's, and he joined her on the chorus: "What else is love?"

Somehow they both kept a straight face. The supposed couple made a valiant effort at the same, but from their expressions he'd have thought she was threatening them with a weapon. "No, no," Amy said. "Uh, David's sick! He's such a sweetheart, so worried I'll catch it." She nudged him in the ribs. "Right, dear?"

"Oh." His confused expression changed to one of realization, and he gave a fake-sounding cough. "Right! Very sick."

Tony wondered if they seriously thought they were fooling anyone. Kiara wasn't done, either. Apparently she was determined to win their challenge, because after everybody gave their orders she started asking more personal questions. "How was your wedding? Did you pick a theme? Use a planner?"

She pretended not to see them squirm while they offered up the most lukewarm responses. Tony slipped his milkshake happily, enjoying his front seat at the show.

"So how'd you fall in love?"

Amy gave a short, nervous laugh. "How does anyone?"

"It built up and up and then you knew?"

"Right," David said. It was obvious he was reaching his limit.

Kiara pitilessly tightened the screws. "Have you talked about children?"

"All right, that is it." He threw down his napkin. "No. No more."

"David!"

"I can't do this anymore. Can you?" Amy hesitated, which he seemed to take as permission, continuing, "We're not really... you know. In love."

Kiara blinked at him innocently. "Just married?"

"Wha?" He sputtered. "No!"

"We're step-siblings." Amy stepped in, sighing. "Sort of. It's complicated, and we're tired of explaining the whole sordid story, so we like to just pretend we're engaged, married, whatever."

"We don't only do it for discounts," David said, actually looking abashed.

Tony couldn't help himself. "And people normally believe you?"

"To be fair," Kiara said, "They were much more convincing yesterday. I think I wore them down."

Amy gasped. "No. You did that on purpose?"

David started to laugh. His sister, or whatever she was to him, threw him a dirty look before grumbling, fishing in her purse, and slapping coins into his palm. Then she turned back to the tour guide. "Right, now we've cleared the air... You mentioned a salon?"

"They do excellent work for women and men. If you think this hair is fabulous" -- Kiara tossed it -- "you should see some of Cherry's other creations."

"Then let's do that next. Please."

"Dear deities yes," David said. "Let's stay out of the heat!"

Kiara and Tony exchanged puzzled looks. "And you didn't request this before because...?"

"I was terrified you'd push us into a naked couples massage or something."

"What she said."

After a beat, they all burst out laughing.

Tony was initially nervous about wasting money on self-pampering and preening, but the prices were surprisingly affordable. "Everything is cheaper in Nomalia," Kiara said. "Because people are poorer, yes? I highly recommend the full makeover set."

Her smile was challenging, and the three of them all ended up accepting. She hadn't guided them wrong yet.

Considering he only paid one silver, the whole experience felt to Tony like the height of luxury. First he was given a full-body massage that left him boneless and his skin slick with oil, then a head massage made him impossibly even more relaxed and his hair silky soft, and then he was seen by a Skilled haircutter followed by a couturier.

Less than two hours later, he stared into the mirror. A new man looked back out.

"You are a miracle worker," he told his 'image director' Cherry, who was smiling smugly.

Tony could put down a deposit to play dress-up for the day, but after seeing the discounted price tag, he flat-out bought the outfit. Cherry eyed this decisiveness appreciatively before saying, "Kiara is a beauty, yes?"

"Yes?" She frowned, and he said quickly, "I mean, yes."

"What else do you think of her?"

Tony stared. No matter her casual tone or wording, he realized she was really asking his intentions. Contrary to what might be expected, this actually made him feel encouraged. Her friend wouldn't be acting protective if Kiara was indifferent to him, right?

He started babbling compliments and assurances until Cherry was satisfied or took pity on him. Then she told him his official business in Nomalia was done; the area below the Penopeans had been cleaned up.

She winked at him. "But don't be a stranger, yes?"

"Cherry really knows my type," Kiara said cheerfully when she saw him. Since it was in walking distance, they'd agreed to regroup at the Guildhall.

The not-couple was there too, giggling over each other's makeovers. "I almost feel guilty we are enjoying ourselves like this when... you know," Amy said. "Earthquake."

"It is a terrible public tragedy," Kiara agreed, "But that should not stop you from finding your private happiness." Tony thought she sounded terribly wise until she ruined it, adding, "What else is love?"

Amy and David groaned. "Oh, stop it, please," he said.

"I can't believe you fooled us for almost two days," she said. "I'm going to try that on someone. Actually, you know you two are super cute together? If you aren't already a couple, you should be."

Tony was shocked at this directness, but Kiara just said, "Thank you. I agree."

He spun to stare at her. "You do?"

"You mean you haven't been picking up my many, many signals?"

He felt like this pressure had been building, building in his chest until this very moment, when her words and smile were the last push needed to let his feelings loose all at once. "Oh thank the celestials."

The not-couple was smiling. "We'll leave you to it," David said. "Good luck, man."

"Thanks for the ride," Amy said. "And congrats?"

"What's with the question?" Kiara said laughingly before turning her dark eyes back to him. "So. Your adventurers are ready."

He looked at her worriedly. Would she ask him to stay? Or to stay away?

"You're a driver. You know what that means?"

"I can come see you?" he said hopefully.

She beamed at him. "No excuse not to."

"I agree."

"Then here." She passed over a rolled-up paper. He took it, confused but willing. "Don't open it until you're alone, yes? And I did win our bet."

He opened his mouth to agree when she leaned up on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

"One for the road."

She left. Slowly, he returned to his old horse and hitched her to his older cart. He felt himself start to smile as he climbed up, then grin as he settled in, and then he was whistling. Off to go bring All Aboard.

Tony was once more driving a team of adventurers.

Including a mage in sparkling clean clothes despite the dusty, windy climate... who knew what mighty magic she wielded?

He hadn't performed any grand heroics today. He was still just a driver. But privately he felt, yes, that he'd both saved someone and been saved himself, after all. (What else was love?)

Instead of sharing their day's adventures, Bessie urged him to talk, making him smile. He remembered when he'd wanted a tale from them, the heroic adventurers, the ones stories were told about. Except he was the Companion; of course he should be the one telling stories!

And oh, how he wanted to talk about Kiara.

He did his best, but as soon as there was a lull in the journey, he couldn't resist sneaking a peek at the parchment she'd gifted him. Hoping and praying it would be a way to contact her.

Even better: it was a map.

His heart started beating faster. She'd labeled some of the landmarks they'd passed during the day, connecting them until they arrived at a final extra star. The prize at the end had to be something special, what excited him most...

Her.

Maybe it was even her home?

If anybody saw him at that moment, they would probably think him a madman. He was grinning like a fool and he didn't care. Foolish, mad... savior, saved...

What else was love?

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