DISCLAIMER: All secondary effects listed here are temporary. The Vestiges of the Empire is not to be held responsible for any action or inaction caused while under the influence of its products.

Alamond Alamein

Dark chocolate cake decorated graciously with Round Almonds nuts

You will unintentionally say ‘nuts’ at the end of every sentence nuts

Babushka

Sweet dumplings made with potato-based batter and Power Plum filling

You will have an incessant urge to threaten people with a rolling pin

Banana Throne

Layered cake made with bananas, cream, chocolate and Bell Walnuts

You will hear a constant ringing that isn’t there

Chef’s Pick

Ask your waitress for today’s special

WARNING: May or may not involve a live sacrifice to the great and mighty Zublos

Chocolate Apocalypse

Chocolate fudge cake with a hint of Demon Sugar

You will experience a world made out of chocolate

Drowned Mariner

Caramel-glazed cake with fermented Pond Fruit filling

You will feel like you’re sinking in a sea of booze

Emergency Exit

Coffee cake made with Blue Cinnamon

Even the simplest problem will seem like a world-ending crisis

Forbidden Flavor

Chocolate souffle with Dreamberry filling

Your deepest desires will be given form

Fury of a Thousand Suns

Crepes with Rageberry filling

You will lash out against this unreasonable world

WARNING: Customer must be shackled prior to ingesting

Honeyed Happiness

Six cupcakes glazed with Hyper-bee Honey

You will know boundless and unbridled joy

King’s Quest

Sweetroll with crushed Box Peanuts

You will only see large squares

Pleasantly Peachy Pancakes

A stack of four pancakes made with crushed Pure Peach

You will feel all is right with the world

Random Rhapsody

Layered spongecake with a rainbow jam filling

Not even the chef knows what will happen with this one

Red Rabbit

Crimson Valley style carrot cake

You won’t be able to stop bouncing

Soulforger’s Gaze

Bran muffins with Coo-coo-coconut cream filling

You will discover a new you

Stranger Danger

Six doughnuts with Paranoid Pepper jam

You will be more perceptive of other people’s hostile intentions

Strawberry of Despair

Srawberry and cream shortcake made with Ghostflour

So tasty you will be truly saddened when it’s all gone

WARNING: Limited to two per customer per day due to safety concerns

The Hidden Truth

Cheesecake made with milk from an All Knowing Ox

You will realize where you lost your house keys that one time

Time-Trader

Caramel souffle made out of Quick Quacker eggs

The world around you will seem to slow down and speed up at random

Visceral Vanilla

Moist cake that uses Violent Vanilla as the main ingredient

You will violently and voraciously vivisect this vestige of vanilla, violating volition and vanishing virtuosity, leaving you vexed, yet vivified

World’s End

Perception Pineapple based upside-down cake

Your view of the world will be flipped

Zublos the Almighty

Homemade biscuit cake, made according to a secret recipe straight from the Pit of Crushing Loneliness

You will better appreciate what you have