May 18, 2014

Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk

When I left the law firm of Nelson and Murdock (Even though I’m a full partner, we kept my name off to try and keep reporters at bay for a bit), a car was waiting for me outside, a big SUV with the BRIDGE logo on the side. The door opened for me as I stepped towards it, and I got in immediately.

Inside was the cute BRIDGE agent from earlier. What was her name again? Agent Toniver? No. It was-

“Agent Tolliver, right?” I asked her, crossing one leg over the other.

“Yes,” she gave me a smile. She had long black hair, black skin, and was wearing a women’s business suit. She was also positively tiny, only about five feet tall.

“I’m supposed to take you, one of our specialists, and an investigator to the bank.”

“What, am I gonna take out a loan?” I quipped.

“Huh?” she blinked at that, looking confused, before laughing. She snorted a bit, looked mortified, then hurriedly continued speaking. “No, they uh, they want you to investigate a spree of bank robberies.”

“Bank robberies?” I’m a smart gal, so I figured it out pretty quickly. “You guys think a superhuman is doing these? Or at least someone that needs my green ass to help with?”

She nodded, biting her lip slightly. “Yes. Here, I have the file,” she reached into a bag by her side and pulled out a manila folder. A bit more traditional than I was expecting. BRIDGE sometimes seemed obsessed with holograms these days. I took the folder and opened it up. Huh. Real paper and everything.

“There have been two robberies so far. The first was the Queens Community Bank. Someone went in and ripped the ATMs out of the walls, taking hundreds of thousands of dollars. Then, yesterday, someone entered the Midtown Consolidated Bank and somehow pulled a vault door off a wall. Do you know how much force that takes?”

She sounded positively excited about that. I thought about that for a second, but she immediately started talking.

“The vault door was put in place back in the 1900s, so it weighs 45,000 pounds or 22.5 tons! It’s pressure system applied 8 tons of pressure, and the whole thing was just ripped off the wall! I mean, the rebar-reinforced concrete cracked first, but that’s still a massive amount of strength!”

She clenched her fists in front of her, eyes practically sparkling. “But there’s no sign of any heavy machinery being moved into the bank! That means either a single person with the strength moved that much weight or someone created incredibly small and efficient technology that can do the same! It’s incredible!”

I blinked at her. Damn. She was enthusiastic. I decided not to mention all the people that I had met recently who both probably had the strengths or the smarts to do the same thing. “Got it. So I’m going in case there’s a fight.”

“You and one more person,” she pointed at the folder. I’d been looking at pictures of the banks, one a small street bank, the other a much bigger one. “We also have an investigator coming to help you both. Your role is frontline support. One of our specialists will be your back-up.”

Okay, I’ll be honest. The idea I needed back-up was annoying. I could punch through steel for crying out loud. Well, maybe the specialist was another Avenger.

It wasn’t.

“Frank Castle,” Tolliver tapped on the file.

------

May 20, 2014

“Hrrrrk!” Mahmoud suddenly choked on nothing, coughing out of nowhere.

“Mahmoud!” I got up to help him, but he held a hand out, waving me back as he hurriedly grabbed a glass of water from the sink and guzzled it down. I frowned. “Something wrong?”

He took a bit. Then he turned and gave me that look again. Like he was deciding how much to tell me.

I didn’t like that look. It made me want to hit him.

Damn it, Mahmoud. What are you keeping from me?

I kept those thoughts off my face while he spoke, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, Frank’s a good soldier. He just never struck me as someone who would be doing a bank robbery investigation,” he coughed. “Well, not unless he was about to kill someone who did the robbery, I guess.”

I blinked. “Okay, you really have a bad opinion of him if you think he’ll just randomly kill someone like that. You didn’t act like this when we were with him in Rio.”

He coughed again, smiling at me. “Sorry Okay. Frank Castle and She-Hulk go into a bank with a BRIDGE agent. What happens next?”

“Actually, the funny thing about that,” I watched as he went back to the stove, placing the egg omelet he’d made onto a plate and passing them to me. I took a bite and smiled. He’d put too much salt. Still pretty good. He started making another one while I took another bite and tasted some mushrooms he’d snuck, smiling a bit wider. “You didn’t put shrimp in this again, did you?”

He chuckled, looking over at me. “No chance. ‘She-Hulk hate seafood!’ I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I know to listen to you. For one thing, you’re way too good at winning arguments.”

“Top of my debate class,” I took another bite and shook my head. “Anyways. We went to pick up Frank from his place.”

------

May 18, 2014

I’d actually met Frank Castle a couple of times. In Rio, mostly. Hell, he was there when Dial turned into that monster of a creature he called Blight.

Frank had struck me as a crazy serious guy, one of those soldiers who were kinda born for it. Flattop haircut, rough-looking face, always kinda about to growl.

That day though, when he came out of his house, he was smiling, carrying a big duffel bag over his shoulder. Tolliver and I were standing just in front of his lawn, waiting for him as he came down towards us. He stopped smiling when he noticed me, immediately switching to a scowl.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Huh. Nice way to say hi, Frank,” I said while blinking at him.

He didn’t seem to care, just glaring at me. “You know my neighbors don’t know about what I do, right? You just going to stand outside my house all green and shit?”

Okay, to be honest? I didn’t think it would matter that much. The second he mentioned it though I felt dumb as hell. And before you laugh, Mahmoud, I was there when you walked around in Diamondhead form in the middle of Time Square.

“Uh, right,” I winced. Damnit, why didn’t I think of that? “Sorry. I’ll go ahead and-”

“Dad!” a young voice called from the house. Two kids came running out of the house. A young girl and boy ran up together. The girl, a little older than the boy stopped to stare up at me, but the boy ran to wrap his dad in a hug.

The girl had long cinnamon brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was wearing a shirt with a picture of dinosaurs on it and a pair of blue jeans. The boy was a little younger, with the same color hair. They didn’t look much like their dad. But they had the same eyebrows, if that makes sense.

Frank was surprised, and I could see him trying to pull back that anger. “Hey, hey,” he tapped his son on the shoulders. “You’re gonna end up cutting me in half if you hug me so tight.”

The kid pulled back and grinned at his dad before noticing me. His jaw dropped as he stared up at me. “You’re the Hulk’s sister!”

“Cousin, actually,” I grinned down at the kid. “How’s it going?”

“Cooool,” I gotta admit, seeing his wide eyes was pretty damn cool.

Frank, apparently realizing he was stuck for the moment, took one of his kids under each arm. “Yeah, so… These are my kids. Frank Jr. and Lisa.”

He tried to hide it, but he sounded downright proud as he said that, his fingers clutching tightly at their arms.

The girl, Lisa struggled out of her dad's grip and walked up to me, looking up at me. She looked almost contemplative. “...You’re an Avenger?”

“Some days. I’m also a lawyer when I’m not punching dinosaurs.”

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say. She scowled at me. “You shouldn’t hit dinosaurs!”

Oh my god. So cute!

“You’re a fan of dinosaurs too?” I asked her, kneeling down to try not to loom over her so much. It didn’t work, but she wasn’t fazed.

“She’s got about a dozen in her room,” Frank grumbled. “And all over the house.”

“I did too,” man, did I ever. Bruce and I used to spend so much time playing with dinosaur toys. One of the coolest parts of being in Rio was seeing the big guys come to life. “I asked a friend of mine to get me one as a pet. He’s going to a land of dinosaurs,” I whispered conspiratorially to her.

“U-Um, that’s classifie-” Tolliver stuttered behind me.

“Are you lying?” Lisa asked, narrowing tiny eyes at me.

“Not even a bit,” I grinned down at her and patted her head gently. I was honestly surprised she let me. “Dinosaurs are still alive. And my friends are-” damn, couldn’t say fighting them. “Researching them right now.”

She stared at me for a second. I think she was trying to see if I was lying. Then her eyes widened. “Really!?”

“Really, really,” I chuckled, looking up at Frank. “You the reason she’s so paranoid?”

“She’s got good instincts,” he said with a shrug.

“Your dad’s mean,” I whispered to Lisa. She gave me a conspiratorial grin.

“Frankie, Lisa!” a woman came out of the house and walked over to them. She was an older version of Lisa, with her brown hair let flowing as she stepped out of the house and came over. Her face had some small wrinkles from smiling, and she looked positively radiant in a white sundress with blue flowers across it. She hesitated on seeing me, gaping at me, then looking at Frank.

“Frank, what-” she hesitated again.

“Jesus Christ,” Frank mumbled to himself, shaking his head and looking at me. “See what you did?”

“Can I help it that I tend to stand out in a crowd?” I said with a smirk, cocking my hip. He rolled his eyes and waved at his wife to come closer. She came over with some trepidation, leaning into him as he hugged her close. Then they kissed.

“Ewwww,” Frank Jr. leered, Lisa bumping him in the shoulder.

Frank and his wife grinned at each other as they separated before she looked over at Tolliver and I. Her smile faltered for just a second. “Hello? I’m Maria,” to her credit, she held her hand out for us to shake really damn fast. I took it with a smile.

“Jen.”

“Agent Tolliver.”

After handshakes, Frank Jr. spoke up. “Dad, are you going on a mission?”

Frank and Maria froze. The kid sounded… well, he sounded worried. He was trying to hide it, but I could tell that he was scared of his dad.

“Buddy… see, buddy I-

“Have to sign some paperwork,” I said quickly, stepping forward. I sighed dramatically. “Boring, I know. But whenever I’m not fighting monsters? I’m a lawyer. Your dad got some pretty sweet armor recently. Have you seen it?”

“Yeah!” Frank Jr.’s eyes lit up. “Dad looks so cool! With a skull on the chest and everything!”

The older Frank shuffled slightly, looking a little uncomfortable.

“Well, he’s gonna be signing some stuff so he’ll be able to use that stuff more often. And maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll be able to play around with it while we’re out there,” I patted the kid’s shoulder, grinning when he gave his dad a proud look. “We gotta go though.”

“Yeah,” Frank patted his son on the head, who grumbled as he pushed his dad’s hand away playfully, then kissed his daughter on the head. Maria kissed him again, giving him a sad look so fast her kids didn’t notice, before pulling her kids in.

“Come on guys, we better let daddy finish his paperwork,” Maria said.

“Okay. Bye, Mrs. Hulk!” Lisa cheered, Frank Jr. waving as the pair ran inside.

“Mrs. Hulk?” What?

“Like that’s worse than She-Hulk?” Frank, slinging his bag over his shoulder, passed by me while Tolliver hesitantly followed.

I’ll be honest. Wasn’t feeling optimistic about my teammate at the time.

------

We sat in silence in the car. Frank listened to Tolliver give her assessment in silence, finally nodding before he started rummaging in his bag. He’d come for battle. He was wearing the ‘casual’ uniform BRIDGE soldiers wore on assignment, a black sweater and black khakis with a small BRIDGE logo on both. He had a single handgun on his hip, but his bag also had a rifle carefully packed away in separate pieces. He wasn’t putting them together or anything, just making sure he had all of them. Then he looked at me, noticing I was watching.

“What, you want one?”

I ain’t one to leave an opening like that. “Nah, I bought two of my own,” I flexed both my biceps with a grin.

He scoffed, though I could see him smirking a bit. “Yeah. Yeah, okay,” he zipped up his bag. “I know you can handle yourself in a fight. But we ain’t fucking detectives,” he looked at Tolliver. “Hopefully your guy shows up.”

“H-He will,” Tolliver said. She looked pretty intimidated by Frank. “I’m supposed to drop you off and he’ll meet you there afterward.”

“Good,” he leaned back in his chair. “So why am I here? You got Mrs. Hulk, you got your detective guy. Why me?”

“Your incredible charm and wit, maybe?” I teased.

“According to the director, we don’t want any assets going out alone right now,” she said. “HYDRA’s remnants are still underground, but we don’t want to have anyone get kidnapped by them again. So even though Miss Walters is superhuman, we don’t want to take the chance that she could get sidelined by something that counters her.”

I didn’t like that. The idea that I needed protecting. I hadn’t met much that could take me on these days.

“Yeah well, let’s just get there and get this done, huh?” Frank looked out at New York City. “Promised I’d be home for dinner.”

------

When we got to the bank, Tolliver couldn’t leave fast enough. Once she was gone, Frank and I stood there awkwardly. Me, more than him.

The bank was surrounded by cop cars cordoning off the place with yellow tape, which meant there were also a lot of spectators and reporters. Then my eight-foot-tall ass showed up and everyone had something else to focus on.

People were staring at me. I could hear a couple calling out my name, and a few had their phones out to take pictures. I crossed my arms and looked out at them. Honestly, even after all this time, seeing how weird people acted about me was still strange. Matt and Foggy had gotten over it, none of the Avengers acted weird, even the staff in the Avengers Tower and BRIDGE members didn’t really think I was a crazy sight anymore. But the average New Yorker still treated me like part-celebrity, part-freak.

“Hey, take off your shirt!” one douchebag shouted in the crowd.

There’s always one idiot.

“Hey, can you get someone in charge?” I said to one of the police officers on duty.

“They’re on their way, ma’am,” the lady said, looking apologetic. “It’ll just be a minute.”

“HEY, TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!” the same idiot yelled.

The female cop and I shared a look. For just a moment, I felt angry. If I actually went and confronted the idiot, he’d probably scream about being abused or something. Logically I knew that hanging him on a lamppost by his underwear would end badly in terms of my reputation, but I was actively considering it.

Frank, standing next to me, growled and turned towards the guy. I held out a hand in front of him. “Let it go. We have actual things to deal with.”

He glared at the idiot, who gave Frank a smarmy smile back, before turning away. Honestly, that’s the problem with guys like that. They think they win just because the people they yell at aren’t supposed to punch down to them.

I ignored him as he kept on yelling at us. Apparently unsatisfied with my lack of reaction, he tried to move forward.

A cop who’d been cordoning off the area shoved him back with some prejudice. “Back off! This is a crime scene, chucklehead.”

“Come one ma-” the idiot tried to argue.

“You want to complain, you wanna get taken in for disturbing the scene?” the cop warned.

I didn’t have time to hear what the idiot said before someone came towards us, an older woman in business suit wear. “Frank Castle, She-Hulk? I’m Detective Leslie Perez.”

Frank took her hand gruffly. “Ma’am.”

The black-haired woman gave me a look I was used to, one of surprise and awe, before shaking my hand as well. “I was told there would be three of you.”

“Our BRIDGE investigator should be here soon,” I said.

“Huh. Well, might as well take you in for now,” she turned and walked into the bank, Frank and I following.

The inside of the bank was covered in paper and pens, chunks of shattered wood scattered about. Several officers dressed in jackets that said ‘crime scene’ on them were dotted about the room. The room was circular, with the various teller desks surrounding the center. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, oddly unharmed by the devastation underneath it, it’s glass crystals glowing in the sunlight outside. A vault door sat near the left side of the room, pieces of bent rebar and concrete hanging off of it.

“Yeah, that’s the reason you’re here,” Detective Perez said when she noticed my gaze. “The second we noticed that we tried to figure out what the hell could have done that. Then one of our guys noticed the handprints,” she pointed at them. I walked over and kneeled down to take a look.

It looked like a human hand pressed into clay, squeezing hard. Except in steel three inches thick. “I’m guessing you didn’t find fingerprints, huh?”

“Nope. Whoever the superperson was, they used gloves,” Perez sighed. “Gotta say, I don’t like living in a world where people can just toss a vault door like this. Uh, no offense.”

“None taken,” I said absently. Out of curiosity, I held my hand to the print. “Holy…”

It was bigger than mine. Just barely, but it was.

“The thing is… they also beat a security guard half to death,” Perez shuddered. “His ribs, arms, legs… he’s lucky to be alive. Looks like he was attacked by a damn gorilla… How much strength does someone need to do something like this?” Perez asked me. “I mean, are they stronger than you? Are they bulletproof? I mean… can we even stop them when we find them?”

I looked up at her. She bit her lip and turned to look at the vault, which was covered in yellow cards with numbers, the signs of someone taking evidence. People were avoiding the sight of the vault door.

I looked at Frank. He was nudging at a nearby chunk of wood with his boot, a disinterested look on his face. “Hey, Frank, you okay?” I asked, knowing his answer was just what I needed.

“Yeah, just bored,” he said idly.

Perez blinked. “You’re bored?”

I laughed. “Yeah. Frank isn’t as impressed by all this stuff as most people are.”

He looked at Perez and shrugged. “I’m a soldier. I don’t really have the luxury to be impressed. Still, this place is a lot cleaner than I thought it would be.”

“Clean?” I asked, nothing all the destruction.

“Yeah,” he pointed at the vault, then motioned his hand to the door. “See. This shit got destroyed in a straight line. From the vault to where the door got thrown. But everything else is fine. Fuck, the bank doors aren’t even cracked.”

He was right. The wooden desks had been destroyed by the door as it smashed into them, but nothing else. That got me thinking.

“You know… a while back, I had to persecute a bank robber,” I said thoughtfully. “He was cooperating, so he told me a lot about how he worked.”

“Oh?” Perez said. “You think that will apply here? I mean, this guy, or girl, was superhuman, you think they’ll do things the way regular robbers do?”

“Absolutely. Super or not, people are people. Stupid, smart, emotional people. We’re dealing with a different scale here, but,” I got up and walked over to Perez with a smile. “People are people. That’s the best and worst part about superpowers.”

“Yeah,” she winced back from me once I got close enough. I was actually surprised by that. She swallowed and turned around. “I’ll leave you folks to it.”

She turned and walked off a bit faster than necessary.

“...Fuck,” I whispered to myself, looking around. I turned to Frank-

------

May 20, 2014

The doorbell rang, interrupting my story. Mahmoud looked over at the door, getting up to get it. I stopped him.

“I got it, babe,” I rose up and answered the door, and was met by the sight of one of my favorite blondes. “Thor?”

“Hail, Lady Jennifer,” he said with that old-school charm. “May I and Natasha enter? We wished to speak with Mahmoud.”

“Sure!” I blinked at him. “Wait, Nat?”

“I’m here,” said a voice behind Thor. The tiny redhead stepped around Thor with that crazy amount of grace she always had. She gave me a sexy smirk. “How’s it going, Jen?”

“Great!” I opened the door for them. Mahmoud perked up like a puppy when he saw them.

“Hey guys! What’s up?”

“You’re chipper this morning,” Natasha gave him a smirk. “Oh. Yeah, I get it.”

“...Get what?”

“You and Lady Jennifer have affirmed your relationship at last!” Thor said with a grin.

Mahmoud turned bright as a tomato. Even with his dusky brown skin, I could very clearly see it start in his cheeks and go down along his neck to his pecs. “I-I-I-What are you guys-”

“I mean, we were already in a relationship. But yeah, we banged,” I shared a grin with Nat, who gave me another smirk as she smoothly sat at the counter and stole Mahmoud’s food.

“Are you guys superheroes or high schoolers?” Mahmoud grumbled, still blushing.

“Relax,” Thor clapped a hand on my embarrassed boyfriend's shoulder. “It’s a natural and good thing.”

He actually did relax, giving me a sheepish grin. “Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty great.”

So damn cute.

“Still, I’m surprised you’re alive,” Natasha said idly. “Tony was betting on ‘death by snu-snu’.”

“...You guys bet on us having sex?” I tried to sound surprised.

“I bet money on Omnitrix kinks popping up,” the super-agent grinned.

As soon as she said that, my eyes landed on the Omnitrix. So did Mahmoud and Thor’s. We stared at the green glowing gauntlet before sharing a look. “Uh…”

“I mean, not for the first time/Not unless she asked,” Dial and I said at the same time. Then we stared at each other.

I’ll be honest, I’d been half-tempted, but I didn’t know if he’d be open to it. It was weird, right? Right?

Oh god, was I blushing!?

“...Awkward,” Thor whispered, while Nat chuckled under her breath. Thor raised his fist to his mouth and coughed. “What were you speaking about before we entered?”

I wasn’t relieved at the change in subject. Not too much anyway. I sat down to eat while Mahmoud hurriedly went to get Thor some coffee.

“Jen, uh, was talking about the mission she had while I was getting chewed up and spat out by the Savage Land,” he said. His back was turned to us. Which was why he didn’t notice how much his little joke affected us.

Natasha stopped eating, her emerald eyes tracing across his back. I’d have gotten jealous at the sexy spy eyeing up my boyfriend if I didn’t notice the way her eyes stopped on each scar he’d gained. I wonder if he even noticed the fact he had little ones threading up and down, with a large patch on his left shoulder blade that looked like a raised spider web.

Thor sighed sadly, sitting down heavily on his chair.

I got how they felt. When we’d been lying in bed, I’d found myself counting his scars. They’d felt interesting. Little smooth bumps on his skin. When he was talking about his fights, about that Stend asshole… hearing, in detail, how each one happened, hurt. He’d almost died. And I hadn’t been there.

When you saw Dial in action, turning into a giant tiger man to lift cars, into a goo monster to slip through cracks, or a pterodactyl alien that could break the speed of sound, it was hard to remember Mahmoud, the normal human who could bleed. How could he be so strong and so vulnerable at the same time?

But then, I could relate now. The memory was still fresh in my mind.

When he turned back to us, he had coffee in hand for Thor, who took it with a smile. “So, you were in the bank?”

I blinked at how suddenly he just jumped back into things. “What, should I just keep going?”

“Of course!” Thor said happily. “I love a good story. Battles won and lost, great heros triumphing! Natasha never shares her stories,” he gave her a sour look.

“Why should I? None of mine are as good as yours,” she teased.

Thor paused. Once again, the big guy proved he was immune to sarcasm. “True, but I still want to hear some.”

“...It’s a good thing you’re cute.”

Nat, Thor, and I looked at Mahmoud. He shrugged. “What, it’s true.”

I grinned at him while Thor chuckled, patting Mahmoud’s shoulder. “So, right. I might as well start the story from the beginning for you guys?”

“I have nowhere to be,” Nat said.

“Well, it all started at the office…”

------

At the same time I was restarting my story, my phone was buzzing on the dresser in our bedroom. A bunch of notifications from a few different sources. Later I’d take a look at it and find out that while I was pretty happy about the state of the Avengers, some people had some different opinions. Polarizing opinions. I had to stop myself from going out and punching idiots after a few minutes of reading and watching the dumber stuff being said about us.

Like the frog said. It ain’t easy being green.

------

Interlude: Social Media

“J. Jonah Jameson here, from the DailyBugle.net, to talk about the events of the last few months!” A bombastic man said far louder than needed. He was balding, the remains of flattop haircut starting to fade, wrinkles etched into his face. But when he spoke, it was with an energetic and aggressive manner, his wrinkles giving him the air of a dignified man who was used to righteous anger, for good or ill.

He was wearing a simple suit and sitting at a black desk, the screen behind him showing the bugle logo of his news organization.

“Ever since HYDRA revealed they’ve been infecting SHIELD like the parasites they are, and Captain America took them down, we’ve been living in a damn chaotic world, damn chaotic listeners! But lucky for you, JJ is here to break it all down for you with my unbiased report!” he leaned forward. “Now folks, I’m not gonna sugar coat it! Things aren’t rosy in the world today! Anyone who claims we live in a better world today is lying to you! But things aren’t all bad either. So let’s start with the good.”

A picture of Captain America came up next to him, the all-American standing on top of rubble, a wide smile on his face as he carried a child in his arms and helped an injured woman stand, an older man over his shoulder.

“First off, we’ve got the greatest damn hero in the world still standing up for us!” JJ pointed at the image. “In a world of freaks running around claiming to be heroes, Captain America is still the leader of the Avengers. Hell, his sidekick, Falcon,” the image of Sam in flight over New York showed up next to Cap. “Is even leading their offshoot team. It’s a damn good sign, to show that even when all the crazies are running around, we still have an honest American taking charge in the field!”

JJ’s smile was temporary. “But then, we have to talk about that. About the freaks we’ve got in the world today. Starting with this guy.”

An image of Dial showed up. The brown-skinned hero was scowling, dust and mud across his face, hunched over. A far less heroic image than the one shown of Captain America.

“Now, I love Cap. It’s easy to tell why. But I have to question his judgment. Why does he trust this man?” Another image, this time of Dial in Blitzwolfer form, biting into a tri-horned demons shoulder like a vicious animal. “Dial, real name Mahmoud Schahed! He came out of nowhere with a watch that he claims holds aliens he can turn into. Inserts himself into the Avengers right when HYDRA makes them desperate for allies, then starts pulling in others to join in no less. Where do I even start!?”

JJ slammed a fist onto the desk. “First off, he’s too damn powerful! This guy, kid really, shows up and what? He can turn into eleven different aliens that can each be an Avenger on their own? And does anyone remember this?”

An image of a helicarrier appeared. An Upgraded Helicarrier, completely black and covered in green lines like circuitry. It spun it’s cannons in various directions and started firing. Green waves of energy split the skies, ripping apart HYDRA forces in moments.

“We’re dealing with someone who can turn a helicarrier into a superweapon,” JJ said, his voice foreboding in tone. “That’s not the least of what he can do either.”

JJ was replaced by footage. Four Arms sparring with the Hulk, their fists sending visible shockwaves through the air. Diamondhead slicing through tanks with blades of crystal. Big Chill moving through walls before blasting bursts of ice. Men getting beaten by an invisible force before Fasttrack appeared. Goop burning through a glass window with acid as a man screamed and ran away. Fasttrack blasting massive waves of blue light from his tendrils. Swampfire blasting fire. Rath laughing maniacally as he ripped into HYDRA soldiers, screaming out slurs and taunts. Jury Rigg with a sadistic smile on his face as he hefted a nightmarish gun that inflated the heads of demons like balloons until they couldn’t move anymore. Wildmutt, covered in blood and snarling as it fought dire wolves from out of prehistory.

“Let’s not forget his ‘friends’,” JJ said, positively incensed. “First, we’ve got Carl ‘Crusher’ Creel,” the image of Creel appeared, midway in turning into steel. More images appeared, such as Creel in his boxing days. “A former thug and criminal! Known for being a mob enforcer of all things! And then what did he do!? Now I know what you want to say, listeners. ‘But Jonah, Creel was reformed!”

He shook his head. “Don’t be foolish. Creel was a criminal for a damn long time. Are we supposed to just trust that this career criminal has reformed!? Tell that to the victims who walk the streets of New York, fearing the name of ‘Crusher’ Creel!”

“And what about Russia!?” the image of the Winter Guard appeared, standing proud in the sunlight. “Now, I have no problem with fostering better relations between nations. Hell, I welcome it,” he scowled. “But the Winter Guard is just the start of a new problem. Government superhero teams. Teams that will defend the nations of their own interests, first and foremost. Worse, teams that will do work for governments!”

“Say what you will about the Avengers, but when Rio needed help, they went,” JJ soured further. “I’ll even give credit to Dial. That kid saved lives out there, right alongside Captain America. I didn’t see a single Winter Guard member fighting out there, saving people from the rubble.”

He slammed a fist on the table. “So why the hell is one of them an Avenger!”

The image of Fantasma appeared, dressed in her purple uniform, floating on a platform of magic and glowing violet.

“A self-proclaimed witch,” JJ scoffed, showing just what he thought of that. “Who we know nothing about! She has exactly one good deed to her name that we know about, and that was in service to her own country!? Let’s break out a hypothetical. Let’s say this ‘witch’,” he did some quote marks. “Has to help the Avengers. And Russia decides it’s against their best interests. You know what she’ll choose? Russia. Every Time.”

JJ shrugged. “Now, if she proves me wrong, fantastic. But I doubt it.”

He leaned back in his seat. “I could go further. Talk about how BRIDGE is coming very close to becoming the strongest damn army on Earth, with a bevy of superhumans under their control called ‘Graveyarders’ according to my sources. How all their soldiers are packed with tech that can rip through tanks… But I will say one thing.”

He tapped a single finger on the table. “I am warning you. But I am also here to tell you, I have hope. I am worried that these are the signs of bad things to come. I am worried that governments will take cues from Russia and we’ll have big government building secret teams of superhumans, black ops with superpowers, with all the wonderful actions that follow,” he lost that excited tone to his voice. “The last few months have shown us we’re vulnerable. How dangerous things have become. At any moment, the world can fall out from under us… But we’re also protected.

“I may warn you about the possibility of Dial and others becoming threats, because it would be idiotic to just take them at face value! But Captain America, the very man who brought down HYDRA, trusts him. They went shopping damn it!”

A picture of Mahmoud and Steve side by side in Forbidden Planet appeared, the two grinning as they pointed at a comic book.

“If Dial is on the up and up, if we don’t end up fighting a war against that insanely powerful alien, then we’ve got a hell of an ally on our side. If BRIDGE really has shed themselves of HYDRA, and Maria Hill isn’t going to use her personal army to start shutting down democracy, then we’ll have the world's most advanced soldiers ready to fight off any superpowers we had to fear!”

He calmed down very fast. “It’s a big if, I know. But New Yorkers, Rio natives, and much more, know that ‘if’ is worth it. I’ll take the Hulk over the damned Chitauri, I’ll take Tony Stark over any demons, and I’ll take Dial over robot monkeys.”

“...And let's talk about that. Robot monkeys. Because while I will be keeping an eye on the freaks claiming to be helping us, let's not forget the freaks that are confirmed enemies!”

“HYDRA is still out there! Those monsters are still plotting to take away your, our, freedoms! We can’t just sit and wait to do something about that! HYDRA needs to be eradicated,” the last was said with vicious anger to it. “Then we have things like demons flying around, countries making their own superteams, even AIM is apparently on the rise. There are threats everywhere.”

“And honestly, AIM?” he looked incredulous. “They just got accused of trying to kill Tony Stark, a leader of industry, and the PRESIDENT. And now, the United States Military is going to get back in bed with them again? I don’t care if AIM starts making tech that blows everything we’ve got out of the water! Do not trust them!”

He slammed a fist on the table and growled. “We’re about to cut to a commercial for crap nobody wants- What?” JJ stopped to look at someone off-screen. “The hell are you mouthing over there, Jared. No! No, I’m sticking with what I said, damnit! If they want to charge us out the ass so they can sell whatever garbage they want to trick the American people out of, then I’m damn well telling people about it! Except for that ‘manscaping’ trimmer, the wife likes that one.”