《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》02.01.04

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There was a stunned silence after Corva spoke and made her declaration, then a burst of barely-restrained chatter and not a few muffled curses and exclamations from around the chamber. Corva stood, towering behind the podium, her gaze flat and level, face even more stoic and unmoving than the host who appeared to be a literal statue.

There was a lot of bustling on the main stage as Secretary General Al-Balawi came back up and had a hurried, hushed conversation with Corva while the rest of the attendees began to get louder. Eventually the chamber was so full of noise that Al-Balawai was forced to call a recess and Corva, along with the other independent hosts, went out the back and out of sight.

“Well that sure as hell was something,” MacDougal said.

“Can they do that? Just say they have Mars? Why haven’t we done that?” Hanover asked.

“Mars is a planet like Earth, right?” Pan asked and Samaira started to fill him in on the details while Anya turned to MacDougal.

“No, they can’t just do that. I think,” MacDougal said. “And we haven’t done it because there’d be an uproar, but mostly because it’s been a moot point up until recently. There was no way to really enforce a claim to any land off-world. But now…”

“Well, wouldn’t it be like the moon? Even though people have landed on it, nobody’s gotten to claim it as ‘theirs,’ right? Figured the other planets would be the same way,” Anya said.

“It’s an absurd request. An entire planet,” MacDougal scoffed and shook her head, then pulled out a sleek black rectangle that looked like a tiny smartphone, but unfolded into something roughly the size of a paperback book. Anya raised her eyebrows a bit at more evidence that America’s engineers had been developing new tech. It still wasn’t as handy as the menu or anything Gary could cook up, but it was at least a decade ahead of anything else Anya had seen a normal person using.

“Who are you calling?” Chell asked.

“Whatever nonsense goes on here, we’re going to need the Joint Chiefs and a few others to agree on some things when we get out,” MacDougal said as several men in uniform appeared on her foldout screen.

“What should we do?” Anya asked.

“Sit there and look tough,” MacDougal said and then turned away to speak quietly with the men on-screen. President Hanover leaned in to stare placidly at the Joint Chiefs, but didn’t offer any advice.

“So how much of a super-villain vibe are you getting from them?” Samaira asked, a smirk forming at the edges of her lips.

“Weirdly, not as much as from Renn when I first saw him,” Anya replied.

“Really? Cause these hosts seem way more serious,” Chell said.

“Yeah but…how should I put this? Renn’s always been acting with ulterior motives. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. These guys…they just came out and said ‘We’re taking Mars, thanks.’ I kinda respect that,” Anya said and shrugged. Samaira laughed and Chell shook her head.

“How come they want Mars? Samaira said there’s nothing there but dirt and rocks and you can’t even breathe good,” Pan said.

“Back in January I’d have said it’s a useless ball of red dirt, but now? With all the tech they could build or buy from the RAC store? They could turn it into a planet better than Earth. Some kinda terraforming factories, pull in some asteroids full of ice, get some construction robots to build some cities, boom, you got a whole new civilization on the planet next door. Shit, they could probably build up the moons around Mars, too,” Anya said.

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“I know they said they got swamped on Mars during the initial invasion but I wonder why they never tried to contact anybody on Earth this whole time?” Chell wondered.

“Probably the same reason Gary didn’t: doesn’t trust the governments,” Samaira said, then lowered her voice so MacDougal and Hanover couldn’t hear her. “I mean, I don’t fully trust them either but I don’t think they’re terrible. Just kinda…self-serving. But then I guess most people are.”

Anya nodded, and thought back to what she and Renn had discussed in space. He had suggested a plan for world peace, by motivating mankind with its own self-interests: access to the RAC stores and all the wonders they held, in exchange for cooperation, unity, and an end to conflict.

But now…

If new hosts were upsetting the apple cart, it would just lead to more conflict. While it’s true that nobody had given a damn about Mars until…well, until just a few moments ago, now everybody was angrily speaking to their neighbors about losing it.

It didn’t take a genius to see why. Even after just a few minutes of considering what a few dozen hosts could do with an entire planet before them, Anya could see the potential for amazing things.

And beside her, Hanover and MacDougal and the Joint Chiefs were already having a sidebar about what sounded like the same old shit. She couldn’t actually hear anything even sitting right next to them, but she knew enough of MacDougal to figure it would be about outmaneuvering the rogue hosts, or maybe manipulating them to be on her side. And Hanover was an open book: he only aimed to get re-elected. The prospect of colonizing Mars, or advancing humanity, it was all just a bullet point for his next ad campaign.

“Oh, fuck this,” Anya said and stood up. MacDougal and Hanover were too engrossed with their own talk to notice her at first, but Samaira stood up with her and put her small hand out to touch Anya’s forearm.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Those hosts came here to see us. I want to see them, so that’s what I’m gonna do,” Anya said then turned to the side. “Felix, are they still inside the UN?”

“No, the five dots I saw earlier have left. They’re up on the roof, judging by the distance,” Felix said.

“I’m gonna get some air,” Anya said as she turned to MacDougal over her shoulder, then stood up and left the assembly hall via the main doors, back out into the lobby, and outside. Samaira and Chell followed her and Pan waddled behind. None of them drew much attention since several other people were leaving the hall during the recess.

“Anya, wait,” Samaira said as she gently touched her hand. “Are you sure about this? Going and talking to them could make things worse.”

“I’m not going to fight them. I’m just going to ask them some stuff. You think I shouldn’t?” Anya asked.

“No, it’s not that. I want to talk to them too. I just don’t want to make things worse.”

“Well, good thing I’ll have you up there with me from saying anything too stupid, right?” Anya said and smiled at Samaira. She smiled back and nodded, then looked at Pan and Chell.

“You two can stay here, if you like,” she said.

“No, I might as well come. I’m pretty curious,” Chell said.

“I wanna meet the bear!” Pan said. Anya held Pan, and Samaira took Chell’s hand as all of them went around the side of the UN building, then flew up quick as they could to the roof.

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There was a sleek, gleaming chrome craft with green inlays on the roof where a helicopter might have gone. It was shaped like an arrowhead and twice the size of a van, and with no visible windows or doors Anya could see. All five of the independent hosts were gathered around it, talking amongst themselves. They turned and looked at Anya and the others as they crested the side of the building and landed on the roof several yards away.

“I was wondering who would come visit us first. Looks like you win, Asmund,” Corva said and opened her menu window. It was colored a deep, vibrant blue, much like her eyes. She opened her RAC store and then pressed a button. A bottle containing some kind of blue liquid appeared in her hand and she handed it to the bearded man covered in tattoos and wearing an animal-fur coat. He laughed and raised the bottle to Anya in a salute, then took a swig.

“May we help you?” the Indian man asked. He was Vaastukaar, according to the emerald green menu that had appeared on stage with his name and level. The gleaming silver pieces of armor or tech or whatever they were around his wrists, waist, and chest matched the same color and basic design of the silently hovering craft beside him.

“We wanted to talk. Directly. That’s why you came isn’t it? To talk to us?” Anya asked.

“It was one of several reasons for our visit, the other being to inform the world that they have some new neighbors. That went…about as expected, I suppose, though not like we had hoped,” Corva said.

“Hello! Pan here!” Pan said as he waddled forward, claw extended in an effort to shake as he ambled straight toward the towering polar bear, Ursula. The polar bear looked down at him with the same bemused expression one might give a particularly precocious toddler. Or maybe how a lion might look at a baby antelope.

“Hello, little one,” the statue-like Tiresias said. Their voice had an odd echo to it.

“Hey,” Ursula grunted, her voice a deep rumble. She leaned over and gently batted her black claws against Pan’s coppery ones in something like an animal fist-bump.

“So,” Anya said. “How were you hoping asking for a whole planet would go?”

“We weren’t asking,” Corva said. “It’s ours. And we were hoping that after realizing what we’d done to help Earth, the leaders of the world would be fine with soembody taking what none of them had ever had any use for.”

“Maybe, but surely you can see how this might make some of them nervous? Fifty-some hosts setting up their own kingdom nextdoor?” Samaira asked.

“While not our goal, we do not concern ourselves with the feelings of fragile leaders,” Vaastukaar said. “The world, the path of mankind, has changed drastically now and forever. They can rise to meet the changes or they can stay in the past. We will move on, regardless. We fought for our lives on Mars, we gave Earth a much better chance at survival.”

Anya took a breath and said, “Yes, you saved a lot of people. But at first, you ran, and only fought when you learned you couldn’t run anymore. Can you see how that might make some of those people downstairs a little hesitant to just accept your claim?”

Corva scowled a bit at this. Ursula chuffed, while Tiresias blinked their glowing purple eyes and turned away. Vaastukaar sneered at Anya while Asmund just laughed.

“We didn’t run just from the aliens. We ran from the ultimatum we knew was coming: join a government or else,” Corva said. “We know for a fact that’s what China, India, Russia, and at least three other countries are doing to its hosts: press-ganging them into servitude and exploiting them. We were not so enamored with our governments that we threw ourselves at their feet. How long until America begins truly twisting your arm? We knew if we stayed here or came back, it would boil down to a fight. By leaving, staying on Mars, we are hoping to avoid open conflict. Everywhere on Earth is claimed, if we stay and did not join, they’d consider it rebellion. But if we just left and announced ourselves as neighbors…maybe we could come to an understanding.”

Now it was Anya’s turn to scowl, but she took a deep breath when Samaira gently put her hand on her shoulder. She wanted to snap at Corva and say she hadn’t thrown herself at Uncle Sam’s feet: she had been trying to find the best way to save people instead of tucking tail and fleeing into space like she had. But that wouldn’t help anything.

“I know they have problems——believe me, I know——but they’re not all bad, they’re scared,” Anya said. “I’m not saying you were wrong to run, or for wanting to stay away. It sounds kinda nice, actually. And yes, the world is changing, has changed, but after everything everybody’s been through, constantly shaking things up might not be the best idea.”

Tiresias put their white marble hand on Corva’s upper-arm, a silent plea. Corva looked at them and gave a reluctant nod. “We’ve said what we came here to say. We would say more but…well, we’re new to this. We felt it better to be upfront and honest about our intentions rather than waiting too long and appearing as though we were hiding. And with the Engineers giving us a deadline, we may not have the time to delay for the sake of a few frightened politicians’ feelings.”

“Will you come back down and talk?” Samaira asked. “Really talk. Not just make announcements, maybe get them to empathize with you a bit?”

“I don’t think that would be very productive right now. Maybe after we’ve shown them what we plan for Mars, what could happen for Earth if they pull their heads out of their asses, when they’re willing to actually listen instead of just react,” Corva said and looked down below where the assembly hall was. “The invasion was a wake-up call. Or it should have been. We’re on the clock before the Engineers make whatever decision they’re going to make. I’m not going to waste one second of it coddling some politicians. But rest assured, we’ll be in touch.”

Vaastukaar pressed an invisible button on his wrist guards and a portion of the hovercraft slid open to reveal a plush, leather interior and several glowing display screens. Asmund got in first, followed by Vaastukaar. Ursula gave Pan a wave with her huge paw, which Pan returned, before she lumbered into the craft. Tiresias let their hand linger on Corva’s shoulder before they turned and followed Ursula.

Corva and Anya stared at each other from across the expanse of the roof for a moment before Corva turned to go.

“Wait,” Anya said and Corva paused. “You said Asmund won, earlier. Who did you think was going to come up here first?”

Corva smirked and said, “Renn. Watch out for him, by the way.”

Corva hopped into the hovercraft and the chrome panel slid shut behind her. The arrowhead-shaped vessel shot straight up into the sky without a sound save for the sudden rush of wind.

“Well, I guess that could have gone worse,” Samaira said.

“I’m worried it’s going to,” Anya sighed as she watched the chrome vessel sparkle in the sky as it ascended and eventually vanished from sight into the dark blue above.

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