《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》02.01.02

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Anya and the other hosts had taken the first few hours of their arrival to set up the island as they pleased so it wasn’t just pure wilderness. The island was only a couple of miles long, with a small mountain rising up out of the western side, so there wasn’t much room to work for. With only about thirty people on the island, it was more than enough room, but Anya didn’t want to leave any sort of lasting imprint on the tropical paradise. Thankfully, that was where Galtero and a few others had come in.

Galtero was primarily skilled as the pilot of a giant mecha called Kuat he had built himself, but his skills had a lot of overlap with some of Gary’s. That included the creation of drones of various types and the manipulation of materials, both of which he used to set up some basic but functional housing for himself and everyone else that were entirely self-contained and relied solely on solar power. They were made of smooth white plastic and in the shape of small huts that could hold two or three people each, and had a cramped but private bathroom. Not bad for a few hours work and limited on-site materials.

Everybody spent most of their time outside anyway, so it didn’t really matter but for sleeping. Galtero had parked his enormous, skyscraper-sized mecha several hundred yards out to sea, where it stood watch over the island like a silent sentinel. There were a few other otherworldly vehicles parked nearby as well: Samaira’s Shooting Star craft, Anya’s V-200, Mona’s Gothic carriage, and more.

Anya gazed out over the dark waters at the distant vehicles. They’d had almost a week to themselves, and several of the hosts had started talking about returning home. While she knew she couldn’t stay on the island forever, she didn’t want to anyway, she wouldn’t mind another week. Maybe she could convince Immonen to stay behind with her after everybody had left.

It was night, and the moon cast silvery light over the waves, turning their tips into sleek ribbons that crashed down into inky darkness before sliding across the sandy shores. The moon itself still bore the scars of conflict: the ruins of Lunar Base Prime could still be seen with the naked eye, scattered across the lunar surface like so many charred bones. Anya’s gaze drifted past the moon and the darkness beyond. She thought back to how it had felt to drift alone in that emptiness. She’d closed her eyes, never expecting to open them again. It had been peaceful, in a way.

“I’m going back to the mainland with Chell and Pan tomorrow,” Tori said, bringing Anya back to Earth. She jolted for a second and then looked at her friend. Tori had a plate in her hands, piled with food. Harrison, the young man from Toronto who could summon demons and was frequently seen hanging around Renn and Mona, had made a run to Australia with Brody for some supplies. He’d also splurged on some ribs from the RAC store: some kind of alien creature as big as a T-Rex, with ribs longer than Anya’s body. The smell of roasting meat and other delights wafted past Anya’s nose as she glanced at Tori’s plate.

“Have they said anything about wanting me back yet?” Anya asked.

“No, I think they know you need a break. All they told me was to make sure you were okay, give her what she needs, then get back to help with paperwork within a week,” Tori replied. “You wanna come back?”

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“Yes and no,” Anya said.

“Get some food and we’ll talk about it,” Tori said around a mouthful of meat and Anya smirked as she went to get a plate. Brody, Bernard, and Galtero were manning the huge, makeshift grill they had constructed. Immonen was sitting nearby and laughing as Brody and Bernard both argued about the aspects of proper grilling and whether Australia or South Africa did it better. The other hosts who had come mingled amongst themselves as they ate.

Anya recognized Kemuel, from Trinidad, and who had used his super speed to help in the battle of London. His long white dreadlocks contrasted with his dark skin, and his booming laugh echoed across the dark beach. The host everybody only knew as KoreaMan was there as well, a towering muscular man who spoke in broken, but enthusiastic, English.

Harrison was talking to somebody Anya had only briefly met: Francis. He’d been there with her, Kemuel, Samaira, and others during their fight in the Caribbean, and he had done okay, saved a couple hosts from bleeding out, but he hadn’t always been so helpful. He’d looted a pair of recently murdered hosts for their goodies while Samaira and Gary had fought for their lives, then ran for it. Samaira hadn’t forgiven him for that, last Anya knew. Currently, Harrison was standing between a pair of red-skinned women with voluptuous figures and glossy black horns that Anya suspected were succubi that Harrison had summoned for…well, for obvious reasons. Harrison himself was looking more and more like his summoned creatures by the day: he had thick brown ram’s horns sprouting from his head, and his eyes had vertical pupils. Whether this was a side-effect of his powers or just a vain usage of the menu’s personal customization options, Anya didn’t know, but didn’t care for it.

Francis, by comparison, looked almost too normal. He was sleight of figure, a little on the short side for a guy, and had features that were the definition of plain. Not bad, just…unremarkable. He was neither too tan nor too pale, his hair a neutral shade of brown with eyes to match. He caught Anya looking at him and seemed surprised that anybody would notice him in a crowd of such notable people. He offered her a weak smile and a wave. She nodded back and went to get herself some food. She caught a brief glimpse of Renn and Mona at the far edge of the crowd around their own little campfire alongside a huge and muscular shape that could only be Jiro. She thought about going over to see what they were up to, but then her stomach growled as he nose caught a whiff of the roasting meat and veggies. She was tired of suspecting people. They’d helped save the planet, same as her.

She passed friends of the other hosts she didn’t know, people they had brought like she had brought Tori. Pan had moseyed up to the fire at some point while he wielded two long sticks. Some sort of fist-sized insects were impaled on each stick, their legs twitching. Anya started and made a sound of surprised disgust and alarm.

“What the fuck are those?” Anya said.

“I asked Bee-Eff what some good ant-like alien bugs were that I could eat and he said these were delicious! Especially if you roast them, so I’m gonna do that!” Pan replied and held the bugs over the fire.

“I swear if you get any bug smoke on these ribs Pan, we can’t be friends anymore,” Bernard said.

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“What?” Pan asked, real fear in his voice.

“Christ, kid, it’s a joke!” Bernard said. “Just don’t get any of that shit on the meat and we’re cool.”

“You break that little one’s heart and we can’t be friends anymore,” Amahle said as she passed Bernard and swatted him playfully on the butt. “I got your back, Pan.”

“Thank you! But my back has scales on it, so it’s okay,” Pan replied, and Amahle laughed.

“For the badass lady who could probably roast this whole rack of ribs in a wink,” Bernard said and handed Anya a plate. She thanked him and returned to Tori at the edge of the crowd.

“Oh yeah, read about your mom online again today,” Tori said. “She’s a real piece of work.”

“God, don’t remind me. She’s part of the reason I’m stuck between staying here or storming back. I’d love to just stay put and unwind for another couple weeks with Garreth. But I also kinda wanna rush back and grab the nearest camera crew and call her a lying piece of shit that told me to fuck off the last time we talked,” Anya said as she gnawed at a rib.

“Sorry. Should I not have brought it up?” Tori asked.

“Nah. It’s good to vent. She’s a bitch. Just wish I’d known how much of one sooner,” Anya said and sighed.

“So, a compromise then: spend a few more days here with hot doctor beau, then come back and shame your mom in front of the entire planet,” Tori said. “I’ll back you up on that one. I was there when she basically disowned you. It’s actually a matter of government record. I had to make a report and everything.”

“I remember. So did I. Had to pay for her damn lawn after I flash-fried it.”

“Only thing I regret about that is not getting to see your mom’s face when she finally saw it,” Tori said and she and Anya laughed. Tori’s phone started to buss and she took it out of the loose shorts she was wearing. “Ah, home office. Probably checking if I’m on time to arrive tomorrow. I’ll be a few minutes.”

Anya raised a bottle of beer to Tori as she left and enjoyed the peace of the waves crashing as it intermingled with the crackle of the fire behind her and the many voices alongside it. She sensed the heat of somebody approaching behind her. She turned and saw Renn, a glass of wine in his hand, wearing an open shirt and board shorts with flip flops. He didn’t look like somebody who commanded an army of psychic clones. His face was youthful, no older than early twenties, and rather plain, much like Francis’s, though his features were a bit sharper, his nose more distinct. His hair was a dark brown, loose and fluttery in the wind, and getting a little long. He looked like a college kid on spring break, not like somebody who might be a megalomaniac.

Maybe.

“Evening,” he said.

“Hey,” Anya replied. She’d been happy to keep some distance between herself and the French host during this trip. He was one of a few, like Jiro, who she’d been surprised to see on the nameless island. While she could envision Mona and Harrison cutting loose, Renn had always seemed so…reserved. And after their forced co-habitation going out to and returning from space together, she’d had her fill of him. He wasn’t annoying or anything just…

Unnerving, Anya thought, then immediately wondered if Renn sensed her unease. Of course he could. He was a damn psychic. He might not be able to read her thoughts verbatim, but he could probably have picked up on her sudden spike of tension as soon as she saw him.

He sighed and said, “Still don’t trust me,” and looked from her and out to sea.

“You surprised me. I was expecting Garreth would come by,” Anya said.

“The doctor is serving as impromptu referee for Brody and Bernard’s argument about BBQ since they seem to be taking it rather seriously.”

“So what’s up? Having fun?” Anya asked. She was flashing back to any number of conversations she’d had with her old co-workers at mandatory “parties,” or long, uncomfortable elevator rides.

“Yes. It’s been very relaxing. I was sad Gary didn’t want to join us.”

“Said he had a lot of work to oversee in the wake of the invasion, getting a bunch of major cities back in order, lot of construction and civilian aid droids to get off the factory line, that sort of thing,” Anya said and shrugged.

“You know him better than anybody else here, I think. Did he seem odd to you, when you spoke last?”

“Why do you think I know him better? He met Sam first, and he’s probably hung out with other hosts at least as much as me,” Anya said and narrowed her eyes.

“Because he has always been more relaxed when he speaks to you. I could always feel him secluding his mind with others, throwing up walls, but whenever he has spoken with you, those all come down. Well, mostly. He’s a cagey old man,” Renn said.

“Probably because he knows psychics that don’t respect privacy are around,” Anya said.

“It doesn’t have to do with privacy. I can’t help it. It’s like a sound or a smell. It’s in the air and I can tell what it is, just like your tension, your friend Tori’s irritation with whoever she’s talking to on the phone, Brody and Bernard’s mild frustration mixed with amusement, and so on.”

“You chose to be a psychic,” Anya said.

“And you chose a skill that lets you sense heat. Tell me, is it violating privacy to sense my body heat? Or Mona’s?” Renn asked.

“It’s just heat. It doesn’t tell me anything,” Anya said.

“And how far does it reach? Your heat sense? Most of the island, I imagine.”

“So? It’s high level.”

“How many people have had sex since we all arrived on the island?” Renn asked. Anya’s mouth dropped a little.

“What the hell are you——?”

“I don’t want to know. I’m making a point. If you can sense heat as accurately as you’ve led me to believe, you’d be able to sense the increased heart beats, the blood pumping faster, the nearness of bodies. Was that a violation of privacy?”

Anya blushed and frowned. She’d never tried to snoop of people like that, but she’d learned over the months to tune a lot of needless, personal information out. Probably the first embarrassing “Too Much Information,” moment occurred back in March, when she’d been signing on with the USAIF in DC. She’d been in a large meeting room with President Hanover, the Vice President, First Lady, several Senators, the whole Joint Chiefs of Staff, and others. She’d sensed a sudden, very brief burst of warm air from the far side of the room that had been the Vice President releasing a silent but impressive fart. Anya had snorted with laughter at the time but it had quickly become something she’d had to adapt to.

She could also tell when people flushed from anger, embarrassment, and even arousal. That last one was especially easy as hot blood tended to gather in…multiple areas.

“It is, what it is. I imagine most of the people here have some enhanced senses. Samaira can feel water and moisture moving, Pan can sense vibrations, Brody can smell just about anything, Amahle can follow subtle shifts in a person’s aura, Harrison’s infernal helpers can tell him all sorts of things about people from what I understand. Did you take Flame Dominion to spy on people?” Renn asked.

“Of course not!” Anya snapped.

“Nor did I take psychic mastery to peek at every little thought you have, not that I can anyway. Besides, when it comes to you, I don’t need it. You’re a very easy-to-read woman, Anya.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“It’s not an insult. I appreciate the candor,” Renn said and actually smiled at her.

“Look, man, I just wanna relax. Why are you over here being a weirdo with me? Go hang out with your big titty goth girlfriend and demon Hugh Hefner over there and let me enjoy the waves in peace,” Anya said.

“I want to know if you’ve noticed any significant change in Gary since the invasion,” Renn said. “That’s all.”

“I mean, he’s been a little bit quieter? I haven’t seen as much of him, but both of us have been busy. He’s basically had to rebuild his entire factory and oversee planet-wide construction projects, and he’s also rebuilding the planetary defense system. All those satellites and shit. Garreth has checked in on him and says his stomach still looks bruised but he’s fine otherwise. I think he’s just burning the candle at both ends.”

“I see,” Renn said.

“I was planning on going to visit him after this, before I went back to the States,” Anya said. She had a lot of things she could say to Renn, but it was getting late, and she didn’t want to antagonize him. He’d saved her, saved her friends, helped save the entire world. And now, for whatever reason, he was expressing concern for a another friend. “I’ll contact you if I think anything is weird. All right?”

“Thank you,” Renn said. “Things have changed so much. And if all this has taught me anything, it’s that once things start changing, they rarely stop so easily.”

“Now you’re just tempting fate,” Anya said and chuckled.

That was when she sensed a sudden quickening of Tori’s heartbeat. Renn must have sensed a spike of something too because both of them turned to look at her as she approached them, phone in hand.

“Uh-huh. Yes ma’am. I’m standing right in front of her. Yes, I’ll tell all of them. Yes ma’am,” Tori said and hung up.

“Wow, that’s really amazing timing,” Anya said. “More aliens?”

“No,” Tori replied. “The UN just got contacted by a representative of those hosts that came down at the end of the invasion and mopped up.”

“The ones who ran off into space?” Renn asked.

“Yeah, them. There’s about fifty of them, according to what MacDougal just told me, and all of them want a meeting with you guys.”

Anya swigged her beer and slumped down into her chair.

“Welp,” she sighed, “vacation’s over.”

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