《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》01.06.24

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Space

5 Days ago

Renn hadn’t really been angry since his last fight with his parents. The one that had ended badly for all of them. That was, he told himself, the last time he’d allow his emotions to get the better of him. Especially with everything that came after that fatal exchange. In a world invaded by murderous aliens and populated by equally murderous men, he had to remain calm, focused, rational.

But Anya rejecting his plan, refusing to put herself on the line as he was, and putting the entire planet in danger just because she still——after every effort he had made——didn’t trust him…

He found himself more than a little put out.

Her final blast had rocketed him away along with millions of aliens and trillions of tons of rock, sent him and his thousands of clones spinning in all directions. His connection to the clones snapped as they were thrown away from each other until it was down to just him.

He floated in the void, his EVA suit and his regular armor and clothing keeping him secure from the vacuum of space. He watched, exhausted, nearly powerless, as the central chunk of Asteroid Willis zoomed away, its red light receding faster by the second, toward the distant and fragile pale blue dot.

“Idiot,” Renn said through clenched teeth. Then he closed his eyes and tried to think of something relaxing. He had problems aplenty but it would be no good tackling them if he was not in the proper frame of mind. Better to spare a few minutes to calm down and then think.

He had learned what acting on instinct and emotion could do, how easily things could be destroyed after such careful and agonizing creation.

So he took long, slow breaths within his helmet. He listened to his heartbeat, felt the presence of his own skin over his muscles from the crown of his head to his feet. He thought of hot tea on rainy days, soft grass under bare feet, the aroma of freshly sawed wood, and he thought of Mona. She had smelled like alcohol and misery on that rainy day in the graveyard outside London. The thing she had summoned smelled worse: a tiny creature of rotting flesh and coagulated blood.

That was not so relaxing.

Another deep breath.

Another memory of Mona. This time they were sitting atop Versailles, admiring the gardens and fountains, watching the police gather around what had been the first alien they’d killed together. It had appeared as a topiary, shaped like a giant bunny. But inside it had been full of living intestines that snapped and bit, lungs that inflated and floated around as they shot acid, and a heart with arachnid legs and whip-like veins.

“Freaky fuckers, ain’t they?” Mona had asked him.

“Yes. That actually helps, I think,” he had replied.

“Why’s that?”

“I wouldn’t like it if they appeared more human. Hurting another person…I don’t know if I could do it,” he said, and then thought to himself, Again.

“True enough.”

She had sighed, almost wistfully. He sensed her relief, relief at being alive, at having something to think about that wasn’t her stillborn daughter, at having her powers be useful instead of just a cruel reminder.

He thought of her again, in bed after their first time. She’d been enthusiastic, very much so, but after she had been quiet, almost instantly sleepy. She’d given him a gentle kiss on his neck and fallen asleep in his arms and he’d watched her doze, smiled as she started to snore quietly.

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Why couldn’t he have had this sooner? How different would things have been if he’d had somebody to care about, without fear or reservation?

Definitely not relaxing.

Deep breath.

Renn opened his eyes and looked at the infinite void before him.

This wasn’t relaxing either, but it was what he had to deal with.

That, and the very foolish, hot-headed American who was now drifting in space. He supposed she was dead, but he checked his menu, just in case. Willis had gone far enough away while he had meditated that he could get a faint signal on Anya’s location on his menu map. He blinked in surprise as her dot showed up, and he figured it must be a malfunction.

Her Battle Aura caused her to crash utterly, which included her regeneration and light dominion skills. She’d be as any human exposed to the void. The EVA suits from Gaia’s Saber would’ve been destroyed with the rest of the ship. No more Anya.

Yet as he flew closer, he was able to make out a very, very faint heat source, and detect a beating heart pumping hot blood. His own Sun’s Heart, weak as it was, was still stronger than the one barely stirring in the distance. Anya floated, arms and legs outstretched, rotating slowly, eyes closed, wearing only her battle armor. Her face and the bare skin of parts of her arms were fully exposed, yet she lived.

How? Renn thought, and then realized: her Cosmic Warden class. When she’d leveled the advanced class up at level 75, it had granted her “baseline survival” in a vacuum. He supposed she would still die like any human if she were shot or stabbed or hit on the head, but the vacuum and its lack of air or heat would not claim her.

He thought it would be very easy to kill her: a simple twitch of psychic power would do it.

She was dangerous.

She had no trust for others, she was willing to let Earth die if it meant she could do things her way. And her power…he hadn’t realized she was capable of that, of destroying a chunk of rock the size of Australia. She was brash, and she did not stop to fully consider the consequences of her actions. They could have utterly obliterated Willis then and there, become as one and saved everybody. Now, it was in doubt. People could, and likely would, die.

Granted, Renn’s proposal wasn’t without side-effects. He hadn’t lied to Anya, but he hadn’t been entirely forthcoming either, but that was only because he had been unsure himself. There was a chance that the hive-mind of two unique people would overwrite them both, turn each into a combination of both, even if they separated afterward.

But that would’ve been just as much of a risk for Renn as it would have been for her, and he had been willing to take the chance. And that’s all it was: a chance. There was no guarantee it would’ve happened. And even if it had, so what? The survival of the planet and all life on it in exchange for some personality adjustments. More than a fair trade. They would have been united in the destruction of Willis, and unstoppable. Now…who knew? Because of her.

Renn reached his hand toward Anya, preparing the necessary psychic energy required to burst some blood vessels in her brain. He took a deep breath again, and lowered his hand.

That was the old way, the old Renn. That was back when he hadn’t been Renn at all; when he had been Jean Duclaire: angry and hurt and stupid. He couldn’t be like that, or like Kan, acting out of revenge. Anya was powerful, and there was still a need for that, especially now with things being uncertain.

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He opened his menu and saw that while his level had been capped at 100 (the experience he saw, had still been calculated, but no skill or stat points had been awarded), his RAC had not. That he had quite a lot of. They needed to get to Earth, and their ship was toast. So they needed a new one. He picked the fastest one with decent armaments and shields, which set him back a couple million, but he could afford it.

The ship appeared in a flash of light in front of him and Anya, and its airlock opened as he approached it and flew in, dragging Anya with him. The airlock flashed an orange light as it decompressed, then became clear and white when it was finished and the inner door opened.

Renn grunted as he dragged Anya with him with his body and his exhausted psychic powers, to the bridge. And it was upon arriving there that he realized he had no damn idea how to fly this thing.

“Merde,” he said. He would have to respec, which he could easily afford, but the pain, coupled with his current exhaustion, would knock him on his ass for a good while. “So be it.”

He bought the token and kept most of his skills as they were, save for the necessary points to be able to fly the ship. He removed the dominions he had taken and put those points into his existing skills, and confirmed. As he suspected it would, both the usual pain and the pain from losing the aspects of the dominions made him keel over in agony, and the interior of the ship went dark.

Space

2 Days Ago

“Wh…where?” Anya asked. It had been the first word she had spoken. Renn had been out for almost a full day, then woken up just enough to set the ship towards Earth and send it on its way. They’d encountered a sort of rear-guard the aliens had left behind them, and Renn had been forced to fight alone with the small ship and his psychic powers. The ship had been damaged and he had been exhausted, which had forced him to buy repair drones for the vessel and sleep.

Now, they were on the move again, and gaining on Willis.

“On our way to Earth…if it’s still there,” he said, unable to keep some irritation out of his voice. “You are a very stupid woman, you know that?”

“Eat shit you…French…guy,” Anya said, her words slurring.

“Very glib.”

“Fuck you. Wasn’t gonna…let you in my head…coulda done…anything.”

“Could have saved the planet. Could have saved your friends. Could have sent the aliens, both the murderous ones and the Engineers, that we are not to be trifled with. But no, you had to——” Renn bit his lip.

Deep breath.

Focus.

“I was trying to save the world from aliens. What were you doing?” he asked.

“Trying to save it from you,” Anya replied. That made Renn blink.

“You think I would do something harmful? After the talks we have had? After every attempt I have made to bring people together?” He asked.

“You’re just a guy. And good intentions can fuck things up just as much as bad ones,” Anya said.

Renn shook his head and said, “Stupid. So very stupid.”

“French,” Anya said, as if it were some insult, then snorted and passed out again.

Space

1 Day Ago

Anya had slept deeply, and Renn had tried to push the ship as much as he could without burning it out. He could see the moon now. They were a day away at most, maybe less than that, but the engines were showing signs of distress. This was the fastest ship available in the menu, and it was starting to struggle. He could have just pushed it further, bought a new one when this one exploded, but…

But he did not know what that would do to Anya. She could survive untouched in a vacuum, but she might not survive shrapnel and force in her current state. And at best, pushing the ship and buying a new one would only buy them a few hours at most. And far ahead of them, he could still see Earth, blue and beautiful.

Anya woke again, blinked, sat up, and yawned with a stretch. She winced as she tried to move and then looked at Renn.

“I need food,” she said.

“Yes, hello to you too,” Renn replied.

“How long until we reach Earth?” she asked.

“A day at most. Hopefully——”

“Yeah, hopefully it’ll still be there. And if it is and there’s aliens, I need to be in top condition, so I need some damn food.”

“So buy it from the RAC store. You should have millions, and food is cheap. The ship has a replicator but I’ve put all our power into the engines.”

“Makes sense,” she said and brought up her orange, rose-headed AI. “Hey Felix, good to see you.”

“Hi there Anya! I’m really glad we’re not dead!” the AI said in a tone that was far too chipper.

“Same here, buddy. Can you find me some food that’ll heal me and help me recover, please?”

“You got it!” the AI said and brought up several options. Anya decided on something called a ‘Dragon Steak,’ which was a thick slab of beef from some sort of draconic being’s tail. It appeared in a flash and Anya landed on Anya’s chest. It was the size of a sofa cushion and Renn’s nostrils flared at its aroma.

It smelled like the most aromatic piece of steak ever, with smoky, peppery undertones. It instantly made his mouth water, and Anya managed a weak chuckle as she stared at it.

“Christ, forgot about shit just appearing like that. Not too much to get some kinda tray to fit this thing on?” she asked.

“Just 1 RAC for a dining set that will accommodate the steak!” Felix said and Anya ordered it with a press of her menu and a flash of light. She sat on the floor and began eating, slowly at first, then with more gusto. She ordered more, all based on semi-magical or enhanced food items that would restore her more quickly. A huge pile of something called whipped hardrid roots that smelled of garlic and butter and looked sort of like mashed potatoes but were bright green appeared beside the steak. A jug of some sort of alchemical potion appeared next and Renn caught a whiff of crisp apples, ginger, and mint.

Anya ate it all. She devoured it with the voracity of a pack of hyenas and belched loud enough to make Renn’s ears vibrate.

“Holy fuck that’s so much better,” she said. “You eaten?”

“Just what I needed to get by,” he replied. Truth be told he had been too focused on the blue dot of Earth to do much else but wring his hands and practice his breathing. But now, with all the smells, he couldn’t help but notice his stomach gurgling.

“That stuff is supposed to restore your health?” Renn asked.

“Oh yeah. Good call on all that, Felix. I feel loads better,” she said.

“My pleasure! Please let me know if it causes diarrhea so I can mark it as toxic!” Felix said.

“Wait, what?” Anya asked.

“That was a joke. All food items are cleared to interact positively with a host’s digestive system.”

“Jackass,” Anya said with a little smirk.

Renn ordered some for himself and sat down on the floor across from Anya to have room for the huge meal. He could only finish a fraction of it, but it was outstanding. The steak had a smoky, spicy bite to it that was a little sweet, but not overpowering. The roots had a texture like whipped butter and a taste like garlic and caramelized onions, and the potion was like drinking an apple pie with mint ice cream. It also had a significant alcohol content and he found himself getting dizzy.

“You can finish mine,” Renn said and pushed it away from himself. “God, how can you eat so much?”

“My body needs it,” Anya said as she began devouring his leftovers. “I’m at maybe 25% right now. I guess my adaptive healing is getting better at bouncing back from the Battle Aura Crash. Soaking up the heat from some of my Star’s Breath crystals is helping too.”

“Will you be at 100% by the time we reach Earth?” Renn asked.

“I have to be. And if I’m not, it doesn’t matter. Even if I’m only at 50% I’ll still give it everything. I’m trying not to think about what everybody is doing right now, if they’re alive or not. I’ll go nuts. But thinking about what I’m gonna do when we land…that I can handle.”

“All we can do,” Renn said, and then turned to stare as Earth grew slowly, but inevitably closer.

Earth

Minutes Ago

Anya did nothing but eat and sleep for the next 23 hours and change. When they had passed the moon they saw that the Deluxe Mori Cannon and most of Lunar Prime were in ruins, but that Willis had been utterly shattered and was absent from the skies. She had fallen into a relieved slumber for a few hours after that, and Renn woke her just as they were approaching Earth’s atmosphere.

“They’re mostly clustered up in Antarctica, by the look of things and what the ship’s scanners are telling me,” he said.

“This ship can scan for aliens?” Anya asked.

“No but it can scan for energy readings, and Antarctica is glowing like the sun. A few areas outside Beijing are lit up too, but not nearly as much. I assume the aliens are targeting the factories now that they do not have their asteroid to rely on.”

“Makes sense. Antarctica it is then,” she said. Their ship streaked down, shaking a bit as it began to pierce the atmosphere. Anya soaked up the heat from the outer hull, allowing Renn to push the ship faster than it normally would have been able to. The clouds parted around them as they emerged above Gary’s factory to see thousands of aliens crawling all over it, and the smoking ruin of countless defensive turrets, droids, and craters. People were fighting down there, tiny dots pushing back against the tide of invaders, brief flashes of light to counter attacks, but it was clear they were losing.

“Please don’t let us be too late,” Anya said. As soon as she said this, a huge explosion boomed at the center of the factory, and a shadowy, sinuous figure went down into the hole. “That motherfucker.”

“I’ll let you go after him. I will assist the others on the outside,” Renn said. “I’m setting the ship’s autopilot and autogunner to target the aliens. It’s built mainly for speed, not firepower, but it will help a little.”

“Works for me,” Anya said and walked toward the airlock. Before she left, she turned and faced Renn. “Thank you. For saving me.”

“Make it count,” Renn said, and then turned away to tap at the control panel. Anya hurried to the airlock, then let herself out as soon as it was ready.

She barely felt the frigid air as she leaped out. She summoned Reggie and sent him away into the fray with a burst of heat to help him grow. There would be no room for him inside the factory, down that hole that she was sure led to central control. Her Sun’s Heart, her Crown of the Firmament, and her Singularity’s Grasp all surged. She wasn’t topped off, but she was most of the way there. She had enough to make the fuckers pay for kicking in Earth’s door and barging in uninvited. She duplicated herself once, twice, three, four, five times until she had 32 clones, all glowing with radiant flames, summoning burning weapons, coating themselves in protective light.

She saw into the deep hole, down into the depths of Gary’s factory. The phaoronic cobra loomed in the flickering lights below her. Her stomach clenched as she saw Gary impaled, Immonen wounded, Chell in the corner, and the remains of somebody else scattered around in bloody bits.

The cobra reared up after her attack to reveal much of its left side had been charred and melted. It had lost both arms on that side, and its black skeleton and writhing insides were exposed along its flank. It pointed the red staff at the grouping of Anya and her clones, and all of them scattered. Tights beams of red light shot out and brought some of the clones down, completely severing one’s head, but the rest recovered and began to heal.

The rest tackled the cobra, igniting its body with their mere proximity and stabbing it again and again with their flaming blades. Six of her clones grabbed its two remaining arms, three to each, while another four struggled to tear the onyx staff out of its grip, and the others began attacking it from behind or seeing to the wounded.

Anya herself backed away and hurried to Gary first. The old man was pale, a bleeding hole in his stomach, already unconscious. What remained of his body heat was draining fast, and his heart was slowing.

“Not yet old timer,” Anya said and produced some medi-gel from her belt to stabilize him and seal the hole in his guts. She didn’t want a repeat of Riley, and immediately went to Immonen.

“Are you okay?” she asked. She created a shield of light around them as the cobra’s tail swept dangerously close while her clones battled it. It was losing, that much was obvious, but it was fighting more ferociously because of it. Three more of her clones had died, and another seven were heavily wounded.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. Get me to Gary,” Immonen said and Anya flew them both back to Gary’s side and Immonen immediately laid hands on him. Gary coughed, blood spurting up from his mouth and staining his mustache and chin.

“A-Anya?” he muttered, then looked past her at the several other Anyas. “What the hell?”

“Just stay still, I got this,” Anya said, then spun and ignited herself in a halo of golden light. “Up and away, ladies!”

“Up and away!” they said as one, and impaled the phaoronic cobra with their wrist blades from all directions. Anya joined them, shoving both of her blades deep into the cobra’s abdomen. It screeched as another few of her clones finally managed to cleave its remaining arms off and it released the onyx staff. It clattered to the floor, and the baleful red light went dark.

Then Anya and her remaining twenty-eight clones blasted into the air, up out of the hole, and into the freezing air. All of them magnified their heat, becoming a sun in their own right, as all of them released their own Reggies and caused the feathered serpents to grow and descend on the alien hordes below.

“Get off my fucking planet!” Anya said, and then she and her clones twisted their blades, opening the many wounds they had caused, and filled them with burning, glittering golden flames and expanding wells of gravity that crushed and tore the cobra’s insides. Anya shouted directly into the hateful alien’s skull face as its body swelled with light and fire and force, then exploded across the sky. Its disparate pieces caught flame and burnt to cinders until there was nothing left of it but a faint dusting of gray flakes and the smell of charred meat.

“Now,” Anya said to her clones as they looked down at the icy wastes and the havoc her Reggies and the other hosts were causing, “get the rest of them.”

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