《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》01.06.03
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Gary’s probe was shot down by something. Anya never saw it. There was just a flash of red light and then a “SIGNAL LOST” message. Any other probes that got near the asteroid suffered the same fate.
“You know what this means?” Gary asked, his mustache swishing as he chewed his lip.
“Things are worse than we thought? Which is actually kind of impressive because I thought they were really bad,” Anya said.
“Those probes were still thousands and thousands of miles away,” Gary said. “Any rocket, no matter how big of a boom it can make, is gonna be able to get near that damn thing.”
“Can’t you make it invisible? Or teleport it?” Anya asked.
“I could try multiple kinds of stealth tech: visual, auditory, heat, motion, but there’s no guarantee they won’t sense it somehow. As for teleportation…well, that’s trickier. Granted, the target is enormous, but it’s a speck compared to the space around it, barely anything at all. Also all teleportation technology I’ve experimented with so far has had some oddities involved with it.”
“Oddities?”
“I’ve been working on folding space. I have an object at location A, fold another location in point on top of it, which is location B. I expand that tiny point around the object, then unfold and ‘close’ the hole behind it at location B. Bing, bang, boom, teleportation.”
“I got the basic idea. So what’s so odd?”
“The object I’d try to teleport would always blow up. Something about the space closing around it would pressurize it and then kaboom. So I figured if folding regular space was the problem, maybe I could just sort of punch a hole in it, like my own wormhole. Bad idea. Nearly blew up my old lab and half of North America.”
“Yeah that would be frowned upon,” Anya said.
“So then I started thinking about FTL stuff. But, and here’s the kicker, I couldn’t think of a damn thing.”
“Not even a theory or something?”
“The biggest goose egg you ever could think of, like my brain just didn’t even understand the concept. I’m thinking that whoever or whatever made the menus put a block in there, just like the RAC store, to stop anybody from getting around the issue of not being able to buy FTL craft,” Gary said and scowled as he studied his screens. “And maybe why teleportation won’t work either. They want us here. No running, no escape, only fighting.”
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“Bastards,” Anya said. She’d begun to deeply resent whoever had sent the menus. They’d said they were for defending themselves and the Earth (or at least, that’s what Felix had said they had said), but it had only made them and the planet targets. The aliens were clearly hunting the hosts, and she was only a host because she had a menu. And they’d put all sorts of restrictions on the menu like blocking any Faster-Than-Light transports, and redacting certain skills like Abyss Dominion (whatever that was).
“I’ll keep thinking of some kind of delivery system, but it’s not going to be easy, no matter what.”
“None of this is going to be easy,” Anya said. She started to say something else when there was a beep and a monotone, electronic voice spoke over the intercom system.
“Dr. Immonen is awake,” it said. “He is currently asking for either Anya or Gary to explain his current situation. Security in the medical bay has been raised to maximum.”
“Garreth is awake?” Anya asked.
“Just remember to stay out of grabbing range until we’re extra certain,” Gary said as he strode toward the medical bay. Anya hurried ahead of him and burst into the room. She sighed with relief as she saw the Finnish doctor sitting up in bed, alert, but obviously tired and confused.
“Anya?” he asked.
“Garreth, thank God,” Anya said as she entered. She stayed well away from his bed though, and arm’s reach. She wanted nothing more than to hug him, but she held herself back. Gary came in behind her and stood opposite Anya, equally far from his bed. The medical bay was on maximum alert, but it looked almost the same as it always did. The only difference now were that a number of wall panels had slid away to reveal metal panels with prongs protruding from them. Anya wasn’t sure what those were meant for, but suspected it wasn’t anything fun.
“What is this?” Immonen asked. “What’s happening? I was about to scan that little alien and…did it attack me?”
“Scan his brain waves,” Gary said to the room.
“Brain activity is normal,” the electronic voice droned.
“Yeah I’ll wait until Chell wake up or Renn gets here,” Gary said.
“What are you talking about?” Immonen asked and narrowed his eyes at Gary.
“Garreth, it’s been a while. Several days,” Anya said, then explained everything that had happened: Omega taking Immonen over, destroying Gary’s lab, the attack on London, the incoming asteroid and the assault wave. At the end of it, Immonen was silent, eyes wide, and summoned his white AI to confirm. It said something in Finnish, and then disappeared.
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“So…I think some apologies are in order, Gary,” Immonen said. Gary grunted and shrugged.
“Wasn’t you, was that Omega thing. Besides, my new factory is basically up and running at this point, better than the last one. We’ve lost some production time, but we’ll make it back,” Gary said.
“Thank you. That’s kind of you,” Immonen said, then he looked at Anya and his eyes shimmered. “I hurt you.”
“If you’re talking about that endorphin whammy you laid on me, that was kind of the opposite of hurting,” Anya said and found herself blushing just thinking about how lovely it had felt. “And it’s like Gary said: you weren’t yourself.”
“I’ve endangered the entire planet…” Immonen said and Gary rolled his eyes.
“Christ, enough. You got hit with alien psychic control. Be more careful if you ever decide to feel up one of the freaks again. We could’ve set up more defenses too. It’s everybody’s fault. It’s nobody’s fault. But now you’re awake. So you can figure out some way to help while you keep your ass in that bed.”
“But I have to go, heal people after that attack on London——” Immonen said.
“Absolutely not,” Anya replied. “First, you look like shit. I mean, not ugly just…you look like you need rest. Second, until we can be sure you’re not going to go crazy again, it’d help everybody if you just stayed in bed. Okay?”
Immonen sighed. “Yes, I can see how anybody would be suspicious. Fine. But please, whatever needs to be done to get me back to work.”
“All in good time,” Gary said, then looked at Anya. “If I leave you two alone, are you gonna keep a safe distance?”
“Yes, Gary,” Anya said. She felt as if her dad were lecturing her about having a boy in her room. She’d never known her dad beyond a few faded memories. An image of her in her teens, short and awkward and with the biggest chip on her shoulder sprang to mind. She was in her old room, seated on the edge of her bed with what she imagined a young Immonen might look like, and Gary was in the doorway, pointing a warning finger at the young man.
It was an absurd, surreal image, and one that made Anya laugh with amusement and embarrassment at once. She put a hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh and turned it into a cough.
“We will be fine and I’ll stay here until you can find another room to move Chell into,” Anya said in a measured tone to keep from laughing again. Gary arched an eyebrow at her and Anya knew if he called her “young lady,” she would lose it. Instead he just grunted and left.
“You okay?” Immonen asked. Anya shrugged as she pulled a chair over against the wall near the entrance to the medical bay and sat down facing Immonen. They were separated by the length of the room, but it annoyed her that she couldn’t get any closer after the time and uncertainty of him lapsing into a coma.
“World might be ending in less than a week. Everybody’s got ideas, but none of them are full-proof. Every second we do nothing is another second that thing gets closer to home and wiping out…everything,” she said. “Everything. Every second of history, everyone I’ve ever known or heard about. All of it. God damn.”
“Not dead yet,” Immonen said.
“No, but very probably in…hey Felix, what’s the countdown?” Anya asked.
No response.
“Felix?” Anya asked.
No response.
“What the hell?” Anya said and her voice rose as she stood up. She touched the center of her chest and her menu appeared. She pressed the glowing orange “HELP” button in the lower corner, but her erstwhile AI did not respond.
“Your AI isn’t responding?” Immonen asked.
“No!” Anya said. “Felix!”
“Hoitaja?” Immonen said. “Hoitaja! Mine as well, she isn’t answering. But she was just here, I called her minutes ago!”
“Gary!” Anya said and the intercom activated.
“What’s up kid?” he asked over the speakers. “Doc okay?”
“It’s our AIs Gary. They’ve gone silent. They’re not responding!” Anya said.
There was silence for several moments and then Gary replied, his voice somber,“Mine either. They’re gone.”
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