《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》News #9
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From Honolulu Star-Advertiser (April 13)
Giant Alien Defeated by International Host Strike Force: Casualties Low, but Honolulu Devastated
The citizens of Honolulu and Oahu bore witness to an event that will hopefully never be seen on this planet ever again: a giant alien rampaging along the beach and firing upon the city, along with a horde of other smaller extraterrestrials, and finally being destroyed in a controlled volcanic eruption and a massive explosion.
Witnesses claim that among the hostile aliens were many of what some have identified as ghosts, zombies, skeletons, duplicates of the French host Renn, demonic beings, and a small army of robots. All of these aided in forcefully evacuating civilians from the area of the attack.
While many citizens and tourists have been understandably traumatized, very few of them were harmed. While many suffered injuries in the attack, a Finnish and Thai host going by the call signs “Mender,” and “Yai,” have gotten everybody back on their feet, and in many cases, healthier than they were before the attack.
But many are claiming “psychological damage,” in the wake of the incident, and not just from the aliens.
“My family and I were grabbed by these…I think they were demons. They looked like little apes or something and had goat legs and bat wings. They just grabbed my kids and flew away with them. Then something without skin and a giant deer skull for a head and green fire in its eye sockets tucked my wife and I under its arms and galloped away. We were separated from our children for hours,” said a man who wished to remain anonymous.
Others had similar complaints of being separated from family, some of whom were in need of medical attention during the attack. Senator Kalawai’a praised the hosts for their bravery and quick response, but condemned their rash actions that left much of the city of Honolulu and a nearly seven mile stretch of the O’ahu National Wildlife Refuge in ruins, which includes a significant chunk of the Ko’olau Mountain Range. Our island is very small, but precious. Again, we are thankful for the help, we would not be here without it, but defeating the enemy at the cost of destroying our homes is not a sustainable strategy.”
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Other members of the Hawaiian Senate echo Senator Kalawai’a’s statement, and many are backing her up. Many of Oahu’s representatives, as well as those from other islands and the mainland, are calling for the government to curtail the reach of the USAIF, and hold its members accountable for severe property damage.
“Buildings can go back up. Forests can grow back. Senator Kalawai’a is right about one thing: this is our home. And we mean to kick any intruders out,” Director of the USAIF MacDougal said in response to questions during a press-conference.
“We will of course be covering all damages. One of the hosts is volunteering the use of over 250 construction robots to rebuild the damaged parts of the city, while Host Yai is already at work regrowing the forest. Host Pan is also stabilizing the volcano and ensuring that it remains dormant,” MacDougal went on to say. “So overall, I’d call this a success. Only one alien remains, and it isn’t even on our planet anymore. And without our hosts, it could have been much, much worse.”
While it could have been far worse, over eighty people died in the alien assault yesterday, almost all of them civilians, and one member of the USAIF, identified as Agent Christian Riley, formerly of the FBI.
From The Washington Post (April 13th)
Senate Hearings for USAIF Oversight Proposed
In wake of the destruction of Honolulu, many have called for more rigorous training and damage mitigation from the newly formed government organization and the hosts it commands. Senate hearings to discuss the future of the USAIF and the super-powered humans (and pangolin) within it are scheduled to begin next week.
“Director MacDougal said only one alien is left but it has retreated. While it might come back, it isn’t here now, and we need to discuss plans for combating extraterrestrial threats that do not require the destruction of a major city,” Senator Diaz from Florida stated.
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“It’s important, but the priority is people, not property,” Senator Norris from New York stated. “When the Manhattan Tornado destroyed several city blocks, we didn’t point fingers. We rebuilt. We were able to rebuild because we were alive, because the hosts made sure the enemy was dead.”
Senator Kalawai’a (HI) and Senator Diaz are both making the push for more oversight while Senator Norris and Senator Ricci (IL) are more in favor of supporting the USAIF as-is.
“All this alien stuff,” Ricci said, “It’s not like anything we’ve ever dealt with before. When the hosts start getting my people killed, I’ll put my foot down. But from what I hear, they made evacuating the attack site in Hawaii a top priority and didn’t blow up that mountain until it was safe. They got my support.”
Similar discussions are happening in governments across the world, with British Parliament seeking to pass a law that would hold any host guilty of “gross misuse of power” subject to fines, and possibly even imprisonment.
“Good luck locking any of those folks up. I tried a couple times and got knocked out,” an anonymous member of the USAIF said when they heard of the UK’s proposal.
From Diario de Noticias (Translated from Portuguese)(April 16th)
Village of Carvoeiro Abandoned Overnight!
At some point between 8:00 PM April 14th and 8:00 AM April 15th, the entire population of Carvoeiro vanished. All 2,700+ citizens vanished from the tiny village on the souther coast, leaving no notes or other signs of where they could have gone.
“No signs of struggle, no signs of packed bags or mass exodus,” said Captain Agre from the neighboring town. “All the cars and buses are still here. All the houses we’ve checked don’t show any signs of violence. Food is on the table in many of them, leading us to believe that whatever happened was around dinner time.”
The description is reminiscent of the old ship, the Mary Celeste, which was found abandoned and drift at sea, but with no obvious signs as to why.
Local government officials have stated that they will be doing everything in their power to ensure the safety of their citizens.
In the meantime, Carvoeiro remains a sudden and unexplained ghosttown.
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