《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》News #7

Advertisement

From The New York Times (February 28th):

Freak Tornado and Explosions Devastate Downtown Manhattan

As of the writing of this article, it has been less than five hours since an F-4 tornado (winds up to 260 mph) appeared out of nowhere in front of 26 Federal Plaza and decimated the surrounding blocks, then vanished just as quickly. The tornado was far from the most distressing event of the evening, as it was preceded by strange, blinding lights at the top of the building, and the upper third of the building being removed entirely in a matter of seconds.

That last event is not a typo. The upper eleven floors of 26 Federal Plaza vanished in a flash of light in under five seconds according to hundreds of eye-witnesses and video.

A blackout of the entire island capped off the series of events, but it seemed almost quaint by comparison.

Police, emergency services, and all of the federal workers from the building itself have either been as confused about the night’s events as we are, or suspiciously evasive about the topic. Repeated calls to Director MacDougal of the FBI have been met with silence, as have all attempts to reach Senator Norris and all local representatives, as well as the Mayor.

If this had been a weather phenomenon, we would have heard about it.

If this had been a terrorist attack, (though what sort of terrorist can create a tornado is beyond me), we would have heard about it.

If it had been some kind of accident, we would have heard about it.

But nobody who should be saying something is saying anything.

So what is it?

Frankly, what has been happening in America the last several days, to say nothing of the rest of the world?

Several hours before the Manhattan tornado, a message was broadcast across America and the rest of the world that our planet had been invaded by aliens.

I, like many people, scoffed. It was the act of some hacker with too much time and imagination. It was a prank, or maybe a tacky and overblown marketing ploy.

But after last night, I wonder.

I wonder, and I’m afraid.

Transcript of broadcast made by The President of the United States, Robert Hanover (March 2nd):

HANOVER: My fellow Americans: for the past week, our country and all countries across our planet have been witness to strange, terrifying, and unnatural events. After careful, considered deliberation with the Joint Chiefs as well as the leaders of several nations, we have confirmed what we once thought to be limited to the realm of science fiction: we are not alone in the universe, and our planet is now under siege by a hostile and otherworldly force.

Our great nation has already taken steps to resolve this crisis, and we are working closely with our allies, and even some of our longtime rivals.

I know this may be distressing for you. It is shocking, unbelievable news, but we have confirmed it, and confirmed it again, and there is no doubt.

There is no doubt about our course going forward, either: we will not be subjected to invaders. We have already begun to fight, we have already begun to win. This is not the end of the world, nor the end of our nation. As such, I must implore you all to remain calm, and go about your lives. The sun will rise on America tomorrow, and we will still need to contribute to its prosperity and future.

The National Guard will be working together with police, the FBI, NSA, the Department of Homeland Security, and local sheriff departments, the highway patrols, and other agencies to secure our nation. Curfew is in effect for every state, beginning at 7:00 PM. For your safety and to facilitate the work of emergency services and first responders, please stay in your homes after seven o’clock.

Advertisement

At this time, we are still receiving intelligence on the extraterrestrial enemy, and how best to combat them. We are openly sharing our information with world governments, and receiving intel from them in kind. For perhaps the first time in the history of our race, and our planet, we can be united as one people against this threat.

Moving forward, we will be posting all information about alien sightings, as well as what you should be aware of and on alert for, online. We will also be sending all relevant information to local police, fire departments, and hospitals. If you see or hear anything suspicious, call 911 immediately. Do not attempt to engage. Call 911, and leave the area.

We’ve never faced a threat like this before. But, as in all things, we will unite and overcome. God bless us, God bless America, and our planet.

From Oni-Chan (鬼ちゃん), an online message and image board, sub-board /WN/ (World News)(March 3rd):

93620271: Pres Handlover confirms aliens. Where were you when you learned humanity is not alone?

93620271: *Hanover, dammit

77332610: Phone poster spotted

19043222: He will forever be Pres HandLover.

51748363: Anon, was that an autocorrect? What kinda shit are you typing that replaces Hanover with Handlover?

93620271: Seriously? My phone’s autocorrect is more worthy of discussion than literal aliens? Let it go already.

80587460: Answer the question, Phone Anon. Why did your autocorrect go to Handlover? I’ve texted about our bland-as-balls president before and never once had my phone autocorrect to Handlover.

51748363: Phone Anon confirmed for hand fetishist.

30078284: Maybe the aliens are handlovers too. They tire of tentacles and require sweet Earthling digits.

93620271: I can’t believe you assholes

19043222: Wait do the aliens have tentacles? Other anons are posting videos of killer stop signs with mantis claws

51748363: Is that a thing? Are there actually fucking mantis stop signs killing people?

19043222: I’ll find the video

19043222: mantissign.webm

51748363: No way is that real. Some found footage shit

30078284: It’s been confirmed by the Canadian government. It was in Montreal a few days ago.

51748363: Jesus

80587460: This is all terrifying and wild but can we please get back to the topic at hand(lover) RE: the autocorrect incident

From The Globe and Mail (March 5th):

Stock Market Drops, Riots, and Mass Panic Continues in Wake of Alien Revelation

Chaos and hysteria continue around the globe following the announcements of multiple world leaders, including Prime Minister Fontaine, that hostile aliens have landed on Earth. Government-sanctioned documents have appeared online that describe the aliens as “mimics,” that have taken the shape of household appliances, cars, statues, and other non-organic objects. Video footage of multiple sightings of such creatures have also surfaced and been confirmed by the American, British, Japanese, Brazilian, and Saudi Arabian governments, among many others.

The revelations have caused panic across most major cities around the globe. Riots have broken out in Tokyo, Hong Kong, Paris, New York, Toronto, Cairo, London, Cape Town, Sydney, and at least twenty other cities in the last day alone.

There are reports that the aliens can also take the form of humans, as many witnesses have claimed to see people displaying strange and powerful abilities. This has been corroborated by literally hundreds of videos showing people in possession of strange weapons, and displaying physically impossible abilities such as flying. Last week, a person identifying themselves as “Renn,” announced that such people were humans affected by some sort of alien technology, but many have taken this as confirmation of aliens-as-humans.

This has lead to attacks being carried out by gangs of “alien hunters” as well as police against ordinary civilians. Fontaine has said that he is working in concert with the American government and that no vigilante action by citizens is necessary and those caught will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Advertisement

From Chosun Ilbo (Translated from Korean) (March 6th):

Chinese War Robot Factory Exposed

Among the numerous shocking pieces of news that have rocked the planet comes the information that China has created a fully automated factory using alien technology to produce battle-ready robots.

Photos and video of the factory, roughly 200 miles west of Beijing, surfaced on the net yesterday. China has been oddly quiet in the wake of the alien revelation, and are now facing intense international scrutiny from the UN. China initially denied the claims, but President Han confirmed the factory’s existence less than twelve hours ago.

“We are in possession of a factory that we acquired through means not of this planet. It has been used solely in the defense of our country. In this time of crisis, we have neither the desire nor the ability to turn our resources against our fellow men. All of our efforts are bent solely to the hunting and eradication of the alien threat. We will not shut the factory down so long as the threat remains. We are, however, willing to aid our allies with its products should they require assistance. As President Hanover said, we are all one, and we must not surrender to petty squabbling amongst ourselves.”

UN Secretary General Nour Al-Balawi has called for an emergency summit in three days to discuss the factory, other potential alien technology in human hands, and the threat of invasion which continues. All standing members are requested to attend.

From The Washington Post (March 7th):

Hanover Announces “Anti-Invasion Force”

President Hanover has announced the official formation of the United States Anti-Invasion Force or USAIF. The force is composed of state and federal law enforcement, special forces, scientists, linguists, and——in a shocking confirmation by the President——hosts.

Hosts were first mentioned the day of the Manhattan Tornado when global broadcasts were hijacked by one such self-proclaimed host identifying themselves as “Renn.” According to Hanover’s statement, Renn was correct: hundreds of normal people have been granted, by random chance, alien technology that allows them to alter their bodies, minds, and abilities with the touch of a button.

“We have several such hosts working for us, as do other nations. They’re the core of the USAIF, and will be working closely with other such squads of hosts across the world,” Hanover stated. When asked who these hosts were, he said their identities were a matter of national security, and ended the press conference.

Transcript from TalkBack: Views on the News with Brad Masterson(March 8th):

BRAD: Thank you for tuning in, I’m Brad Masterson, and we have director of the FBI, Gwendolyn MacDougal on the line. Good evening, Director.

MACDOUGAL: Mm.

BRAD: The latest news is the formation of the United States Anti-Invasion Force, or the USAIF. I understand you’re in charge of that as well as the Bureau?

MACDOUGAL: No. I’ve given the Bureau over to an interim director while I help set up the USAIF. Setting up a new government body takes some doing, and the President and a few others have assigned me to the task of making that happen.

BRAD: Is the USAIF a branch of the military?

MACDOUGAL: No. The USAIF will have jurisdiction to operate within America, but limited access outside of our own borders. If somebody requests assistance, then we may deploy but otherwise, no, we’ll be keeping them here.

BRAD: And the members of the USAIF are these hosts the President mentioned yesterday? Are they aliens?

MACDOUGAL: Emphatically no. The hosts were ordinary citizens who had the bad luck to get hit with alien technology. Said technology is being kept under constant surveillance by the NSA and Homeland Security. The hosts are voluntarily cooperating with us to stop the invasion, which they are being compensated for.

BRAD: You’re paying them?

MACDOUGAL: We’re compensating them. I can’t get into too many details about the hosts. But there is one thing I’d like to say to the general public directly.

BRAD: By all means, Director.

MACDOUGAL: While several hosts have joined us, there are hundreds across the world, dozens of them in America, who we would like to make contact with. If you are a host and you need protection, we can help you. We can compensate you for your assistance, and connect you with other hosts who are helping us take back our planet and our country.

If you’re not a host but suspect somebody you know might be, contact your local police and DO NOT attempt to engage or assault anybody you may suspect of being a host. Best and most likely case, you’re wrong, and you’ll just get charged with assault. Worst case you’re right, you’re likely to hurt yourself.

Now, if you’ll excuse me Brad, I have more work to do.

BRAD: Actually Director, I was told you’d be available for about thirty…Director? Director MacDougal?

RECORDING: If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again.

BRAD: Uh, we’ll be right back.

From The Guardian (March 9th):

UN Holds Emergency Meeting Regarding Alien Invasion

Members of the United Nations gathered in New York City today to discuss the ongoing crisis involving extraterrestrial invaders assaulting the planet. Several presentations were made sharing intelligence from around the globe. Of note were videos of the aliens (which are confirmed to be shapeshifting creatures frequently appearing as benign, common items), and several brief recorded interviews with the elusive “hosts.”

Secretary General Al-Balawi and the leaders of several other nations have agreed to officially share resources and have begun to form an international coalition. Details are still being worked out, but first impressions indicate the coalition would be similar to England’s Ministry of Extraterrestrial Warfare (MEW) and America’s Anti-Invasion Force (USAIF).

Said coalition would involve the cooperation of each country’s hosts and potential oversight be UN-elected delegate(s).

From Dainik Bhaskar (translated from Hindi) (March 10th)

Disaster in New Delhi

An estimated 23,000 people are dead with another 275,000 injured or homeless after an alien attack late last night. Potentially dozens of aliens laid siege to downtown New Delhi, targeting what was believed to be a meeting of hosts from India, Nepal, Bhutan, and Pakistan.

The attack lasted roughly thirty minutes and left half of downtown and a good portion of the surrounding area in ruins. Casualty estimates are high and growing as rescue crews sift through rubble.

It is currently unknown how many of the hosts survived the attack, if any.

President of India, Reyansh Reddy is believed to have been killed in the attack, along with several other key members of the Indian government.

From The New York Times (March 25th)

Hanover Assures That “All is Going Well,” in Alien Hunt

It has been nearly a month since the Manhattan Tornado, and multiple other battles of similar scale in or around major cities across the globe. It has been just over two weeks since the last attack, which left New Delhi and the Indian government as a whole in shambles. While India has managed to restore a semblance of order from the chaos, the process of rebuilding will still take years.

In the meantime, the world holds its breath, waiting for when the next disastrous attack will hit.

After the tumultuous week leading up to the Manhattan Tornado, this lull can only be described as eerie and unsettling. There have been no new alien attacks or sightings, and any further news regarding hosts, the USAIF, or similar organizations in other countries has not been forthcoming.

Despite the sudden silence on all matters extraterrestrial, President Hanover assured Americans last night that the plans and actions taken to defend Earth are all moving forward as intended.

“The reason for the silence is that we are handling things,” Hanover said. “After such chaos and disaster, we are finally reigning in the alien threat. Obviously, we cannot disclose details at this time, but rest assured, we are winning this fight, and will continue to do so.”

    people are reading<Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu>
      Close message
      Advertisement
      You may like
      You can access <East Tale> through any of the following apps you have installed
      5800Coins for Signup,580 Coins daily.
      Update the hottest novels in time! Subscribe to push to read! Accurate recommendation from massive library!
      2 Then Click【Add To Home Screen】
      1Click