《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》01.03.10

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“Five?” Anya asked and the worm in her stomach tripled in size and then tied itself into a knot.

“And they’re moving fast. Pan and I are landing on the roof now but the aliens are already in the city, maybe a few blocks away. They’ll be at the building in a minute, maybe less,” Gary said.

Anya’s mind spun. How had she not detected them when she had pinged the city? Samaira and Immonen had done the same and they hadn’t spotted anything either. They had only pinged the perimeter of the city. Could the aliens just have been that fast and zeroed in on them as soon as they had stopped? Anya had been in and out of the city since she had the menu. Had that attracted them to New York? It made more sense than just being pure coincidence. Pan, Gary, and Samaira sticking around for hours probably hadn’t helped.

“Are those more friends?” Pan asked and butted into Anya’s thoughts. He pushed his snout towards Gary’s “camera” to see the assembled crowd of government officials in the conference room.

“We’re coming down and I’m bringing back-up. Don’t shoot my robots,” Gary said and then his screen blinked out.

There was a knock on the door and one of the guards outside poked their head into the conference room. A handful of agents and office workers were behind him, all of them pale and nervous.

“Excuse me, Director? I’ve got people from different floors here reporting disturbances outside. Something like a riot?” the guard said. Anya swore under her breath.

She’d been hoping she and the other hosts could just flee and get the aliens to follow them outside the city if they couldn’t shake them. But it sounded like the invaders were already doing something, causing problems. Anya prayed nobody was dead yet.

“Put security on full alert,” Director MacDougal said as soon as Gary vanished from the screen and the guard finished speaking. “Get the senators and the general to the roof and call a chopper. I want everybody with clearance armed and ready and anybody who isn’t to get to one of the proper safe rooms until this is handled.”

“You’re not serious?” Senator Diaz asked. “I’m not just going to leave because these…these people say there are aliens!”

“Angela, please. Haven’t you seen enough today, let alone the past week, to give their claim some validity? And even if it isn’t aliens, something is going on outside,” Senator Norris asked. Diaz threw up her hands and nodded.

“Felix, ping it,” Anya said.

“You got it! Annnnd yup! Five alien signatures. No precise location, but they’re closing. They’re signals are different than before. The last two times they were this close I was able to get a better read on their positions but now…it’s like they’re flickering around.” Felix said and shrugged. “You got some points from the fight in Chicago you haven’t allocated yet.”

“Split my stat points between Brawn and Fortitude. Pole Arms for physical skill, Combat Analysis for mental, and Flame Dominion for Other. And just keep pinging them. They obviously know where we are so keep trying to get a better signal,” Anya said and winced as the points were confirmed and allocated. She blinked tears out of her eyes when it was done and twisted the dial on her watch. Her armor and glaive appeared on her and in her hand in a flash.

“Christ!” General Johnson said.

“Holy shit!” Senator Norris added. Diaz actually screamed and several agents shouted in alarm as Samaira also changed and Chandrali grew into her giant saber-toothed tiger form.

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“Riley, alert everyone to not shoot at these folks, please,” MacDougal muttered to Riley, who nodded and relayed the information. Officer Ramierez pulled a gun out of his ankle holster and aimed it at the floor.

“Where is Tori?” Anya demanded as she spun toward Riley.

“Third floor, interview room,” Riley said. “I can take you.”

“Do it,” MacDougal said. “And make sure the exits are clear while you’re down there.”

“I’m going to get the Senators and the General to the roof,” Samaira said.

“I’ll stay in between you two, help where I can,” Immonen said. He had become hazy at some point, but he was easy enough to focus on when he spoke.

“Not about to run off and let civilians with alien shit fight for me,” General Johnson said. “Gimme your gun, son.”

“Uh, ma’am?” one of the agents asked Director MacDougal as Johnson demanded his gun.

“Jesus, Frank. You’re part of the Joint Chiefs. Your frontline days are over. Protect the Senators and make sure Washington knows about this if the worst happens,” MacDougal said as she withdrew a Glock from inside her coat.

“Come on then. Chandrali and I will keep you safe,” Samaira said as she readied her bow and hurried into the hallway. Anya and Riley passed her and ran to the elevators.

“Anya!” Samaira called after her and she turned as she waited for the elevator to arrive. “Be careful.”

“You too. And you, Doc, uh, wherever you are,” Anya said and glanced around. No answer. He must have left at some point.

“Yeah I’ll be fine too, no worries,” Riley said with a small laugh as he got into the elevator with Anya.

“I know you will. You’re with me,” Anya said. “Does Tori have her phone?”

“No, we took it during the interview. Standard procedure,” Riley said. They passed the twentieth floor.

“Damn. Felix, where are the aliens?” Anya asked.

“Definitely in the building now,” Riley said before the AI could answer. He tapped the tiny headphone inside his ear as he withdrew his gun and checked the chamber. “Chatter from the ground floor. Something broke the entry doors and windows, few people injured. Something else up near the roof. That might be your friend Gary or it could be them.”

“There are currently three definitely in the building: two far above, one below. One is definitely below and outside the building somewhere, possibly southeast of the entrance. The other could be inside or outside but is somewhere above us,” Felix confirmed. “Their signals are still flickering around and hard to pin down, but I’m trying my best to narrow them down.”

“Shit,” Anya said and tightened her grip on her glaive. Still seven floors to go before she reached Tori. Anya could have just melted the floor at her feet and flown down and punched the elevator doors open, but if other people in the building needed to use the elevator to evacuate, it could stall them, cause more trouble.

Plus it would probably light Riley’s clothes on fire or injure him some other way.

“Incoming message from Gary and Samaira!” Felix said.

“Just patch them through whenever they call but minimize the window so it doesn’t obstruct my vision,” Anya said.

“You got it!” Felix said and then a pair of tiny boxes the size of coasters appeared just below her line of sight, each showing Gary and Samaira.

“The senators and the general just took off!” Samaira said. The wind had picked up and she had to shout as snow blew past her face.

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“I’m going to make sure they get away safe and then I’m coming down,” Gary said. “We heard something break some windows several floors below us. Figure it’s one of them.”

“Do I have to go? This is scary,” Anya heard Pan say behind Gary.

“Just keep your head down and maybe make some of those dirt guys,” Gary replied.

“There’s no good earth up here,” Pan said. “Bee-Eff says my level isn’t high enough to manipulate the stuff this building is made out of.”

“Just tuck into a ball and stay close to Gary, Pan!” Anya said.

“Sorry,” Pan said as the tip of his snout poked into view. The elevator doors dinged open and Anya all but leaped into the hall, glaive at the ready.

“Felix?” she asked as she swept the hallway with her gaze.

“One is nearby, maybe above or below us. Definitely one holding its position outside,” Pan replied.

“We’re on our way down,” Samaira said, “but we might have to fight our way there. Be careful!”

“You too,” Anya said and closed the communication windows.

“Straight ahead, first hall on the left, room 3015,” Riley said. He stayed behind her, gun at the ready. Anya took off at a jog, having to trust Felix for any updates. No news was good news, and when she reached 3015, she ripped the door straight off its hinges.

Tori was inside sipping on coffee when Anya made her dynamic entry and caused her friend to shoot her hot beverage out of her nose and mouth in surprise. Her eyes went huge as she stared at Anya in all of her armor, and then launched into a coughing fit as she pointed at her.

Even with five aliens breathing down her neck, Anya couldn’t help herself from smiling at her friend. She raised the avian visor of her helmet and smiled at Tori as she hugged her. Tori was still coughing and sputtering but hugged Anya back.

“What the hell?” Tori asked as she continued to clear her throat. She wiped at coffee dribbling out of her nose and down her chin.

“Aliens. We gotta get out of here,” Anya replied. Riley had entered the next room and was speaking quickly to somebody inside as Anya backed into the hallway and tugged Tori with her. Her friend’s eyes widened in fear rather than surprise this time.

“Like the one in the park?” Tori asked as the two women, Riley, and a couple of agents exited into the hallway together.

“Yeah. Riley, what’s the best way out of here?” Anya asked.

“Well, sounds like they’re coming in from the top and bottom,” Riley said, then glanced to one side as a series of pops echoed from below.

“Gun fire,” one of the agents behind Riley said.

“I’ll get down there and help. Tori, stick with Riley. I’ll make sure the exit on the ground floor is clear,” Anya said and lowered her visor once more. She sprinted for the nearest stairwell and kicked the door open, then jumped down the stairs and charged onto the second floor.

She instantly smelled gunpowder and smoke. There weren’t that many heat sources on this level, but there were several on the first floor below. Thankfully, since it was evening, most of the building staff had gone home. There were still hundreds of people inside though, almost all of them above Anya.

“Felix? Updates?” she whispered and hurried down the hallway at a light jog.

“One alien very close, definitely on this level. Confirmed three in the building far above us, and the one outside still hasn’t moved,” Felix said. That wasn’t great but it could have been worse. Anya rounded a corner and stopped in front of a body on the floor in front of her.

It was a man in a gray suit, a gun in his right hand. Anya hadn’t felt any heat from him earlier because he was dead. His blood was cool on the tile floor around him, along with the scattered piles of his guts. Something had punched several holes in his torso, nearly ripping him in half. A wave of nausea washed over Anya at the sight and the rank smell of the body. It hadn’t had time to rot, but the man’s intestines had been split open and his last meals had been smeared around with the rest of him.

Anya’s human heart beat faster and faster, and she wondered how many people were already dead. She had chosen to come here, she had failed to actively ping the area after landing, she had been the real target. Her and Samaira and Immonen. This man and who knew how many others were dead because of her stupidity.

“Ugggh,” somebody said ahead of Anya and she snapped her head up. Another man, this one in jeans and a polo shit, leaned against a wall clutching his arm, or what was left of it. The man was pale, blood still wet on his shirt and jeans, his chubby face slack with shock. His body heat had lowered significantly and was still going down. Anya rushed over and knelt beside him.

“Hey! Hey stay with me!” Anya said. The man had a plastic ID card hanging from his neck. Stewart Humphries. “Stewart? It’s okay. I’m gonna get you some help. Felix bring up the Doc’s contact window.”

“Uhhh,” Stewart moaned. His left arm was fine, but his right arm below the elbow was a ragged tear of muscle and splintered bones.

“Anya?” Immonen answered and appeared in a tiny window. “I’m a bit busy, there’s…”

“I know, three aliens up there. I’ve got a guy down here, lost his arm and a lot of blood,” Anya said.

“I will come when I can but there are multiple similar cases up here. I caught a glimpse of one of the aliens as it rounded a corner. It looks like a copy machine, but it was walking around on goat hooves.”

“Goat-hoofed copy machine, got it. I don’t think this guy’s gonna last, Doc,” Anya said. Stewart’s eyes were losing focus and his head was drooping.

“Cauterize his wound,” Immonen said. Anya blinked in shock and gulped. “I can repair the damage later, but not if he’s dead. Do it, Anya. I believe in you.”

“I just…I just burn him?” Anya asked.

“Yes. If his injury is as severe as you say, he cannot afford another moment of blood loss. Do it,” Immonen said.

“Oh fuck. Sorry Stewart,” Anya said. She heated the palm of her hand to such a degree that the air above and around it shimmered in burning waves. She grabbed Stewart’s ruined right arm and grit her teeth as skin sizzled, blood boiled, and flesh fused.

Stewart let out an agonized but weak wail and then passed out. The stump of his arm was a raw-looking red mass of gnarled skin and scarred tissue and Anya gagged at both the sight and the smell.

“You did well. I have to go,” Immonen said and his window vanished.

“Anya?” Tori called from behind her.

“Stay back!” Anya said. “It’s on this floor somewhere. And there’s one outside.”

“I’ve called the NYPD, if they didn’t know already. SWAT is on the way,” Riley said. Anya didn’t think SWAT had any chance against the aliens but at least they could help get people clear, maybe see to the wounded.

Speaking of the wounded, Stewart was still unconscious, but he was breathing. Anya picked the chubby man up and carried him back to the stairwell, avoiding the butchered agent on the floor as she passed his body.

“Oh my god!” Tori said as she saw Stewart.

“Is he…?” Riley asked.

“He’s alive. Had to cauterize his arm, but Doc says he can fix it. Assuming we all survive,” Anya said. She wanted to tell Riley to take Stewart and get him outside while she searched for the alien on this level, but there was still one outside waiting.

“Felix, call Pan,” Anya said.

“You got it!” Felix said.

“Hello?” Pan answered. “Anya? It’s scary up here.”

As if to punctuate the pangolin’s point, the building shook with a series of booms from above.

“I know it is, but I need your help. Can you get down here quickly?” Anya asked.

“I can help! I can help without fighting! Gary said so!” Pan said.

“That’s great, Pan. No fighting needed, just protecting. And I’m close to the ground so you should be able to get at some good Earth. I just want you to move some people from inside to outside. If there’s a scary alien, you tell me and I’ll fight it, okay?”

“Okay! I can do that,” Pan said. “Gary? I’m gonna go help Anya!”

“Good luck little guy!” Gary said in the background and Anya heard the rockets of his truck approaching from further away.

“I’m on the second floor. Use Bee-Eff to find me. Hurry!” Anya said and closed the window.

“You think that little fella can help?” Riley asked.

“He’s better than nothing and if he’s with you then I can track you on my menu,” Anya said. She and the others glanced up as something banged heavily in the elevator shaft above them. The ceiling bowed outward a few moments later and then metallic claws made a small hole. Pan peaked his head through and offered Anya a smile.

“Hello!” he said.

“Damn that was fast,” Anya said.

“I fell down the eeelllll-evatooooor,” Pan said as he tested the word out, “elevator hole and then just rolled over here.”

Pan dug the hole wide enough for him to fit into, curled into a ball, and rolled through it and hit the floor with a thump. The agents behind Riley stared at Pan in shock, but Riley and Tori just smiled.

“Hey again, Pan,” Tori said.

“Hello!”

“What floor were you on?” Riley asked.

“I dunno. On the roof with Gary,” Pan replied.

“This building is 41 stories tall. You plummeted down the elevator shaft to the third floor and you’re just…fine?” Riley asked.

“Well, I am scared about the aliens, and I haven’t eaten in a while,” Pan said.

“After we get everybody out of here, okay?” Anya said. Pan nodded. “Look, I just need you and Riley to take people away from the building. Keep them safe, but don’t fight. There’s an alien outside, but if it attacks you, just try and block it or get away, all right?”

“I can do that,” Pan said.

“Anya?” Tori asked in a tense whisper. She stared at something over Anya’s shoulder and Anya spun around.

A toilet sat in the middle of the hallway.

It was breathing.

The sides of its white porcelain bowl expanded and contracted, and the seat elevated slightly whenever it expelled its breath. As if this wasn’t a big enough giveaway, it also hadn’t been there when Anya had walked along the hall moments before.

“Go,” Anya said. She didn’t turn to watch the others hurry back into the stairwell. She didn’t dare turn away from the toilet.

“Bye bye! Come this way friends,” Pan said as he rolled and bounced down the stairs.

“Be careful,” Tori said. Riley grunted as he took Stewart and hauled him away.

Anya pointed her glaive at the toilet and her gauntlets creaked as she gripped it tight.

“Felix, do you know how many hosts this thing has killed?” she asked.

“I don’t, sorry! But based on the information we got off the fridge alien last night, it’s likely this alien has killed at least three hosts and as many as ten,” Felix replied. “For comparison, the fridge killed two and the puppet killed one.”

“Fucking hell,” Anya said. The toilet stopped breathing, or was holding its breath. Anya didn’t wait for it to make the first move. She pushed the heat from her Sun’s Heart to her feet and blasted herself down the length of the hall. The hall was wide, but not wide enough for a full swing from her glaive. She thrust it right at the toilet bowl with all her strength.

The lid of the toilet sprang open and a bouquet of human arms and hands blossomed out of the bowl at the speed of thought. Several of the hands caught the glaive and then swung it, and her, down the hall.

All of those arms worked in perfect unison to hurl Anya like a rocket-propelled missile. She flipped over and landed on her feet, then tucked and rolled to a safe stop.

She stabbed the glaive into the floor, summoned heat to her hands and fired a lance of fire down the hall. Pink light coalesced into tight spheres in three of the toilet alien’s hands, and beams of white and pink light met Anya’s attack.

The resulting explosion would have been enough to knock Anya through a wall if her kinetic absorption didn’t take most of the force for her. She was still pushed back and went down to one knee to maintain balance. The hallway was destroyed, walls blown to dust, floor and ceiling crumbling.

The dust in the air made it impossible to see anything, and Anya hadn’t detected any heat from the alien at all. Just like the others. Its beams of light weren’t heat-based either, so no chance of waiting for it to make those little balls and zeroing in on its position a second before it fired or just absorbing them.

The alien made itself known soon enough. Several arms, each of them over twenty feet long and with multiple elbows, shot out of the dust. Their hands reached for her, fingers splayed wide.

“Hell!” Anya said, grabbed her glaive, and spun it in a circle. The spinning blade’s edge glowed white hot as she channeled heat into it and sliced clean through three of the arms. They flopped to the ground and the stumps hissed as the glaive had partially cauterized them.

The toilet alien made some kind of hissing flushing noise that Anya hoped was made out of pain. Three of the hands glowed with greenish-yellow light and tended to the wounded stumps. Anya cursed as they began to heal and regrow. She slashed at the healing hands with her glaive, but three other hands spread their fingers and created wide shields of pale blue light that her weapon bounced off of.

One of the hands whipped out and tried to grab Anya’s wrist but she pulled back. The hand swept down and managed to catch her ankle as she leapt away. It squeezed and crushed her bone to splinters beneath her armor and Anya screamed. She didn’t bother attacking the hand with her glaive again: the other hands with their shields were still up and ready to defend while the healing hands did their job.

“Burn,” Anya snarled through her teeth. Her eyes glowed as she channeled her Sun’s Heart into the air ten feet around her, making a sphere of heat so intense that the flesh of the alien arms immediately began to bubble, the fat beneath igniting in spurts of fire.

Anya laughed as she felt the fire flowing through her. Her hair turned into a wreath of dancing flames and the veins beneath her skin glowed with light as she made the air hotter, hotter.

The alien arms withdrew and there was another panicked flushing sound. The healing hands scrabbled to put out fires and repair burns as the whole toilet scrambled away, walking on its free hands like a spider. Anya grunted with satisfaction both at its retreat and a popping crack in her ankle as her body repaired itself.

She ignited the air beneath her feet and flew at the retreating alien, all the while maintaining the intense heat field around her.

The repaired arms and hands flexed and pink balls of energy glowed in their palms. As soon as Anya emerged from the dust and smoke, they turned toward her and fired. Tight beams of deadly energy criss-crossed around her as she dodged, and she winced as one grazed her right flank.

She ignored the pain and grinned as she saw the shields of light facing away from her, leaving its side wide open for a single sweep of her glaive to take all of the arms off in one stroke. Anya swung her weapon, but it wasn’t there, and her arm wouldn’t respond. She passed the alien, and landed hard. Her balance was off and she tumbled to the side. Her right flank was too light, and it stung.

She glanced behind her and saw her glaive, still gripped in her right hand and still attached to her arm, lying on the floor several yards away. It had been sliced clean off by one of the beams of light, and blood was gushing out of what was left of her shoulder.

Her mangled shoulder stopped bleeding quickly, and muscle and skin closed over the wound. It began to stretch slowly downward, her regeneration regrowing her lost arm. She wouldn’t bleed to death, and she would get her arm back, but not soon.

“Shit shit shit,” Anya cursed and fired multiple beams of fire at the toilet. It brought its shields to bare and deflected the single-point attacks with ease. The other arms crowded behind the shield, the ones that shot that weird pink energy peeking out to take potshots at her.

It pushed its attack and fired more beams of light at her. Anya bashed through a nearby wall as she jumped out of the way and once more ignited the air around her to incredible degrees. It could block her precision strikes, but it couldn’t deflect the air.

The toilet alien withdrew and Anya fired more blasts of fire after it. It retracted its arms and her fire hit the white exterior of the toilet without even scorching it.

“Tough as the fridge huh,?” Anya said and then grinned as she threw a hellfire grenade at it. The potent jelly burst and the toilet alien withdrew all of its arms into the bowl and the jelly landed all around it and on top of its lid. The alien’s toilet exterior didn’t look to be taking any damage, but Anya didn’t think it would.

She sucked the heat out of the burning jelly as fast as she could and funneled the excess heat to her regeneration, making her missing arm grow back more quickly. She had a Star’s Breath crystal at the ready for when the heat from the jelly was gone. She would probably have her arm back in another few moments and be back to full strength thanks to the heat within the insulated crystal.

As the Hellfire jelly cooled, it hardened and held the toilet in place as Anya retreated further away.The jelly that had landed on the lid of the toilet effectively kept it shut in place, and Anya smirked as the arms banged within the toilet, trapped for the moment.

“Nice try you stupid bas——”

“Anya! Another!” Felix said.

The ceiling caved inward and large rolled up Persian-style rug fell through and unfurled itself. Anya started to ignite the air, but then the patterns of the rug shifted and swirled. Anya found her concern for her severed arm, the encroaching toilet, even the other people in the building all fading away. The patterns of the rug danced and twisted in a shifting dance of colors and shapes that was the visual equivalent of morphine.

It’s pretty, Anya thought stupidly. There was another voice yelling at her frantically, practically screeching. Was that Felix? Maybe if she got closer to the rug she could hear it better. Was the rug the alien? It looked like a perfectly lovely rug. Really soft. Maybe if she got closer it would let her lay down on it.

If the rug was an alien, it wasn’t a very violent one. It wasn’t attacking her at all. It was just floating there in the air. Its vast maroon surface rippled in a breeze only it could feel and that made the swirls and curves of its woven interior blend and mix and mingle in a way that was almost sensual.

Maybe this was a nice alien.

Pink light flashed behind Anya and lit the surface of the carpet and added to its many hues.

Something thumped Anya in the back and she fell to her knees. She tried to gasp, but blood rose up into her mouth and splashed out onto the floor in front of her. For the first time since she saw the rug she looked away and down at her chest.

A hole the size of a fist gaped just to the right of her human heart.

It was where her Sun’s Heart was.

Or had been.

Her vision cleared and so did her other senses.

“Anya! Can you hear me! It’s hypnotizing you or something! Anya? Anya!” Felix shouted at her.

She put her remaining hand over the hole in her chest. Nothing there now. Would her regeneration repair her Sun’s Heart, or was that it?

For the first time she had taken Flame Dominion as a skill, she felt the cold. There was no heat anywhere: not in the rooms around her, not from the other hosts, and not from herself. She tried to pull heat and fire into her hands but only a trickle came to her. It was the last vestiges of warmth from a burnt match, so minuscule as to be nothing at all.

Her head spun and she fell forward onto her face with a thud. Her body was closing the hole in her chest already, stopping the blood flow and regrowing her shredded lung and vaporized ribs.

But so, so slowly, and getting slower.

Without her Sun’s Heart to pull in or grant additional energy, her regeneration was draining her even faster. Anya fumbled at her belt for the Star’s Breath crystal she had been holding a moment before.

She grabbed the crystal, tried to pull on the heat within. It had seemed like so much just seconds ago, but now it was nothing but a memory of warmth. She tried to withdraw whatever heat she could from the crystal, but it was only a weak thread of energy that tapered off into nothing.

The toilet alien moved into view, walking on its numerous hands until it loomed over her. Dried hellfire jelly stuck in burned black chunks to its sides, but it looked unharmed. Its healing hands had repaired all the damage she had done.

The carpet alien floated behind it, its patterns still for the moment. Anya saw the carpet was made of coarse animal hair and that beneath it were what looked like the swirling organic lines of a brain. There was no need for the rug to hypnotize Anya with beautiful patterns anymore.

She felt a fragile spark in her chest: her Sun’s Heart growing back. But much like her arm, it was slow. Far, far too slow, and she was much too weak to do anything but glare up at the toilet and the carpet.

“Fuck you,” Anya said and tried to summon fire anyway. It wouldn’t come. There was no heat, no flame. There was only the cold on the floor beneath her, the rustling of the rug, and the pink glow of several deadly balls of energy aimed at her prone figure.

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