《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》01.03.09

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Anya had Felix ping the area around the city for any other hosts or aliens before they landed, and then made sure their signals were switched off before they flew over the city proper. Anya, Samaira, and Chandrali met Immonen on the roof of 26 Federal Plaza. Samaira and Anya had both changed back into their regular clothes, and Immonen remained un-hazy as he exited his hovering chrome egg vehicle.

“Why that thing?” Anya asked and pointed at the giant egg-shaped craft. “It looks kinda…weird.”

“Fast, cozy, next to impossible to detect, and it was originally designed as a scientific exploration probe, so it has tons of scanning equipment. I’ve been trying to find some way to get the systems to scan for hosts and aliens, but no luck yet,” Immonen replied. “It’ll find pretty much anything else though.”

“So where’s this Riley guy?” Samaira asked. “You told him we were coming right?”

“An hour ago, yeah. He said he’d meet me here now, but…” Anya shrugged. Night had followed them from Beijing, and New York sparkled around them with its innumerable lights. It had also begun to snow, and the gentle flakes drifted from the sky, a multitude of miniscule, lazily falling stars. They landed in Samaira’s hair, and made it sparkle like when she transformed. They all melted before they even got close to Anya though.

“Interesting,” Immonen said and moved his hand towards, then away from Anya without touching her.

“Uh, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Testing the air around you. It’s a few degrees warmer,” Immonen said. “Could I examine you some time?”

Anya felt heat rise into her cheeks that had nothing to do with her Sun’s Heart. “Excuse me?”

Immonen raised an eyebrow at her, then his eyes widened and he shook his head. “Not like that! Nothing invasive, or…well, nothing you wouldn’t be comfortable with, obviously. Just your regeneration, like we discussed in Beijing, and maybe getting a few temperature readings.”

“Oh. Yeah we can talk about it,” Anya said and turned away from the doctor. Samaira cleared her throat in a weak attempt to break the awkward silence that followed. Anya almost cried out with relief when the door to the roof burst open and Riley stood there, hair disheveled.

“Oh, good, you’re here with…other people,” Riley said.

“You must be Agent Riley,” Samaira said and stepped forward, Chandrali weaving between her feet as she did. Samaira extended her hand and Riley shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Agent,” Immonen said and also shook Riley’s hand.

“You were the two in Chicago, I take it?” Riley asked.

“I was. I’m Samaira,” she said.

“I was not. My name is Doctor Garreth Immonen, from Finland,” he said.

“Where’s the guy from Chicago? And the pangolin?” Riley asked and looked around. He seemed to notice Chandrali for the first time and blinked. “Is the cat super smart too?”

“Chandrali is smarter than the average housecat, but no, she’s not as smart as Pan,” Samaira said. Chandrali flattened her ears against her head and sneezed on Samaira’s shoe.

“Our friends are just behind us. They’ll be here soon,” Anya said. “Are the big shots here?”

“Yeah, they’re a few floors down. Couple senators, a general, director of the FBI, and a few other agents. Y’know, just a few average folks,” Riley said. “Sorry for being late but had to help with security checks with all those big shots showing up on such short notice. I’m pretty relieved you didn’t take off, if I’m being honest.

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“Will——” Riley started to say then looked behind Immonen at his vehicle. “Is that a giant egg?”

“It’s my ride,” Immonen said.

“How…nah. Forget it. Too much. Will your friends be landing on the roof too?” Riley asked. When Anya nodded he added, “What kinda vehicle they flying in? I’m gonna send a rookie up here to keep an eye out for them while I take you down.”

“An old Ford truck with jet engines,” Anya said.

Riley blinked slowly and then threw his hands up and nodded. “Okay. C’mon down.”

They all followed Riley into the building and the elevator while he texted somebody to come take a post on the roof.

“Now look, these people you’re gonna meet, they are all on edge. I told them what I’d seen and showed them your video and they still wanted to fire me on the spot. Only reason they didn’t was because I told them you’d be here, but they’re still very twitchy. And trust me, security is tight, so no sudden moves or anything.”

“We’ll be fine,” Anya said. She’d just had giant robots shooting lasers and miniguns at her and hadn’t gotten much more than the wind knocked out of her along with a few scrapes. No way some guys with guns were gonna be a problem.

“Yeah but your rep might not be. Ideally, we’ll all be able to get along after this, but if they tell me to bring you in…” Riley trailed off and Anya frowned. She couldn’t blame Riley for just following orders, even if they were stupid, but at the same time she didn’t want to become a government asset like the lady in China.

“Have you spoken to Tori?” Anya asked Riley.

“Yeah. She’s in the building, near the bottom floors, said she’d be happy to help so long as we were nice to you,” Riley said.

“Can I see her?”

“After we’re done here,” Riley said as the elevator doors dinged open and they walked along another long hallway. They passed several doors until they reached the end of the hall. A set of double doors was flanked by two soldiers in full combat gear, each holding a rifle. Riley raised up the ID hanging from his neck and gave them a wave and the soldiers opened the doors on a huge conference room occupied by one long table. A projector screen dominated the far wall, flanked by the American flag on one side and the New York State flag on the other.

Anya and the others were greeted by a small crowd of people at the table, and a number of FBI agents standing at the edges of the room. She recognized one of the senators of New York, Randall Norris, from the news. He was a heavyset man with dark skin, a gleaming head, and a sharp black goatee streaked with gray. She also recognized Officer Ramierez, who was the only one who gave her a wave and a strained smile. He looked like he would rather be anywhere else.

“Agent Riley,” said a woman with gray hair and a well-creased face. She was short and thin, but her eyes were sharp and bright and she was the only one in the room that appeared at ease.

“Director MacDougal,” Riley replied.

“Are these the ‘hosts’ we’ve been hearing about?” MacDougal asked and gestured at Anya and the others with a flippant wave of her hand.

“We are,” Anya said. MacDougal flicked her eyes at Anya and then back at Riley, who nodded.

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“You said there was a…what was? A pangolin?” another woman asked. She looked to be in her forties, Latina, and flipped through a packet of papers in front of her with the nervous energy of somebody about to go on stage. She glared at Riley, Anya, and the others over a thick pair of glasses. “I don’t see any pangolins.”

“He’s on his way, along with another host,” Riley said before Anya could reply.

“And you mean to tell me two girls with a cat, and some lanky guy are the people behind all the trouble we’ve been having?” a man in an olive-green military uniform asked. The left side of his chest was a kaleidescope of ribbons and medals, and he had the face of a tired but irritated boar: a wide mouth with a jutting chin, and a round nose with flared nostrils. Anya noticed that he was missing his left pinky finger as he drummed his remaining fingers on the table.

“Two women. And the cat’s just mine,” Samaira asked.

“Can we skip the whole ‘We don’t believe you,’ part?” Anya asked.

“Nothing violent. Remember. Twitchy,” Riley said and backed away from them.

“May I suggest something effective but non-threatening?” Immonen asked. Before anybody could respond, he looked at the piggish man in the uniform. “Uh, General, I assume?”

“Commandant of the Marine Corps, General Frank Johnson,” the man replied.

“I’m Doctor Garreth Immonen. I’m a host like these two ladies here, and I have a number of skills. One of which is healing. Anything. I’ve been around northern Europe curing cancer and other serious illnesses.”

“I’ve heard of that,” Director MacDougal said and tapped a pen against her chin. “You cured cancer? In dozens of patients, overnight?”

“I did,” Immonen nodded. “And I can prove my skill. Would you like your pinky back, General?”

“Excuse me?” General Johnson asked.

“I can regrow your pinky, if you’d like.”

“Horse shit.”

“Easy enough to prove,” Immonen smiled and shrugged. “I’ll just need your hand for a moment, and to touch the area. It will not hurt.”

During this exchange, Riley had scooted around the edge of the room until he was next to Director MacDougal. He whispered in her ear and she grunted, then nodded.

“C’mon Frank, let’s just get this show on the road,” she said.

“After the testimony from Officer Ramierez, and the video we saw, I’m kinda curious myself,” Senator Norris said and waved a hand at Immonen.

“Fine, let’s just get this over with,” General Johnson said and stood up. Immonen smiled and approached the man slowly, his hands up and eyes on the many agents surrounding the room. He took Johnson’s hand, and rubbed his thumb over the stump of the pinky, then released it.

“There we go,” Immonen said. There was silence in the room and then Senator Norris shook his head and Director MacDougal glanced at Riley.

“Well, it was nice knowing you Riley,” she said. “Shame you bet your career on——”

“What the hell?” Johnson breathed and held his hand up. The agents around him gasped and backed away, and everyone sitting down got to their feet in shock.

General Johnson’s stump was sprouting a tiny, fleshy limb as they watched. It fattened and grew before their eyes, like a time-lapse video of a tree coming out of the earth. In less than thirty seconds, Johnson had a brand new pinky finger, which he wiggled, flexed, and curled as he stared at it.

All eyes moved from Johnson’s new digit and to Immonen.

“Ta-da!” the doctor said and chuckled. “If anyone here has any medical conditions, scars, or other physical ailments they would like healed or adjusted, please let me know. For example, I could fix your eyesight for you if you like, Miss, ah…?”

Immonen trailed off as he gestured at the Latina woman with glasses sitting near Director MacDougal.

“Senator Diaz,” she replied in a low whisper. She was still staring at Johnson’s new finger. “How…?”

“You saw my video right?” Anya asked. “That’s how. We use the menus that were forcibly integrated with us to choose from any of this almost infinite list of skills and just…well look, if you need further proof, here it is. Felix!”

“Ta-da!” Felix said and appeared on the surface of the table. Everyone in the room was already standing, and now a few of them sat back down or backed away.

“Can you do your explanation demo again for all these people?” Anya asked.

“I’d genuinely love to!” Felix said and then launched into his speech. Everyone save the hosts, Riley, and Ramierez, drew closer as Felix talked. None of them blinked or breathed a word as the pudgy rose-headed AI demonstrated the use of the menu with Anya’s help. She summoned tiny flames in her hand, hovered awkwardly a foot off the floor, and even cut her finger on her glaive so the others could watch it regenerate.

“And that’s it! Do you have any questions?” Felix asked, his eager tone making it obvious that he hoped somebody did. The audience had a moment of slack-jawed silence before they turned to each other in a rush of excited voices.

“——medical possibilities of what that doctor did could——”

“——that AI alone would turn the States into a technological powerhouse and——”

“——dominate the global economy with just a couple of those skills applied correctly to the market or——”

“——that skill actually say it was for fidget spinning? That thing my nephew is always twirling around?”

General Johnson sat down heavily in his chair, the only one in the audience of agents and government officials who wasn’t blabbering. He looked at his pinky, then at Immonen, Samaira, and Anya with his eyes narrowing further at each.

“How many other countries have hosts?” the General asked.

“Most of them,” Anya said. “Well, hosts are from pretty much every country. Almost all of them, I think. At least until a bunch of them got killed.”

The room went quiet.

“Riley told us you went off to meet with that weirdo in the helmet, the one who hijacked the broadcasts earlier today,” the General said. “Did you?”

“Yes,” Anya said. A worm of anxiety wiggled its way into her guts. She didn’t like the General’s tone, the steady, intense focus of his eyes on her, or the way he kept curling his pinky.

“And? How many hosts were there? Were any of them from countries that are or may be hostile to America? China? Russia? North Korea? Iran?” The General asked.

The worm wiggled faster, and Anya’s stomach churned. She knew that Frank Johnson was just a man. Physically, he was even less than the smallest robot she had fought just a few hours ago. She knew he couldn’t threaten her directly but…

But maybe it was just years of living as a normal person, or what the General represented, or what he might do to other people around her that made Anya think so intently about her words. Tori was in the building, somewhere. Anya could pick up heat signatures all the way to the ground floor but any of them could have been Tori. If they wanted to hurt her friend, they might be able to before Anya could find her.

Riley knew her full name. Anya was sure there were probably agents or soldiers spying on her mother and sister by now, hell, probably everyone she ever went to school with too.

The General wasn’t threatening her, but she could all too easily see where his line of questioning was going. If their enemies had hosts, America needed them too. Just another arms race. So she’d either get strong-armed into being a stooge somehow or she’d become a rebel and then who knows where things would go after that. She had the sense of things spiraling away from her, of catastrophe looming over her like a tidal wave and the undertow sweeping her feet out was every dumb choice she’d made since Friday night.

“Anya?” Riley asked. She snapped her eyes to him and realized several seconds of silence had passed. She took a deep breath and nodded. The General wasn’t wrong to ask these sorts of questions, and he wasn’t demanding anything.

Yet.

“Yes. Not North Korea, but there was a woman from Russia,” Anya said. “She just seemed like a random person though. A little weird.”

“China?” Director MacDougal asked and raised her thin gray eyebrows.

“Yes,” Anya said. “And we know she was working directly for the Chinese Government.”

There were a few strained intakes of breath, widened eyes, and what actually sounded like a growl from General Johnson.

“How do you know that? Where was this meeting?” Johnson said, his tone sharpening.

“Beijing, or just outside of it,” Immonen said. “And I can confirm what Ms. Anya has said.”

“Me too,” Samaira added. “After we caught her spying on our meeting, a general for the PLA named Huang sent a small army of robots to try and arrest us.”

“Robots? China has a robot army AND a host working directly for their government?” Senator Norris asked. He let out a long sigh and leaned back in his chair.

“I have a source in the CIA that confirmed a huge disturbance outside Beijing hours ago,” MacDougal added.

“If they have that sort of technology already…could we be compromised?” Senator Norris asked.

“It’d be stupid not to assume so,” General Johnson said.

“We need to move this to Washington,” Senator Diaz added. “Get the Joint Chiefs together, alert the President, call an emergency session——”

“The robot army got trashed,” Anya said. “It took us about five minutes.”

Silence.

That was an improvement.

“General Huang tried to arrest us, and when it was obvious we weren’t going anywhere, he used the robots to try and kill us. Felix can you show them the big robots they used from the RAC store?” Anya asked.

“I sure can! Boom!” Felix said and made an enlarged menu screen appear in the air in the center of the table. It showed one of the heavily armored robots that Anya had smashed to pieces without much effort. She noticed Felix had included one of the models with several scary-looking upgrades on it. He gave her a not-at-all-subtle thumbs up and she smiled at him.

“There were probably about seventy of those,” Anya said and pointed at the robot. She kept her other hand in her pocket, where nobody would see it shaking from her nerves. The worm was still wiggling in her guts, but she was doing her best to ignore it and fake some mask of quiet confidence. She could only pray nobody suspected otherwise.

“Each of them was about two stories tall. How thick was their armor, Felix?” Anya asked.

“About 6 inches of various non-Earth alloys,” Felix replied.

“Samaira shot three of them down with one shot,” Anya nodded at the diminutive figure of Samaira, who adjusted her glasses and gave an awkward wave. “They never even touched the doctor, and the few times anybody was hurt, he had them back on their feet in seconds.

“And I crushed through one like this with about as much effort as it takes to push through a spiderweb,” Anya finished.

“Is this some kind of misplaced attempt at a threat?” Johnson asked.

“No. If you’ve talked to Riley at all, you know that isn’t what I want,” Anya replied.

“And what do you want?” Senator Norris asked.

“We’re not some collective,” Samaira said. “We had a meeting, sure, but there were almost a couple fights. And aside from the Chinese host, nobody there looked to be interested in anything else besides not getting killed by the aliens that have invaded.”

“I didn’t want to threaten you just now, General. I just want to make the real threat very clear,” Anya said. “These robots we fought, they were tissue paper. Wet paper bags. Chew toys. Nobody at the meeting in Beijing even blinked when they were fighting. Nobody was killed, and thanks to the doc, nobody had a scratch on them.”

“I fail to see——” the general started to say.

“For god’s sake, Frank, cool it with the pig-headed routine and let the woman speak,” Senator Norris said. Johnson grunted and rolled his eyes. Norris gestured at Anya and she nodded in return.

“So a small army of deathbots didn’t cause us more than five minutes of light exercise. But the aliens that came here Monday night…they scare me. They scare all of us. They scared sixty-some super-powered hosts enough to travel across the planet and risk a meeting because whatever these aliens are, wherever they come from, they’re mean. They’re strong and they get stronger each time they kill one of us, and they’ve killed almost all of us. Thousands dead.

“So I know the idea of China, or Russia, or anybody who isn’t directly working for the States is kinda nerve-wracking, but it is nothing compared to the shit that is already happening.”

Anya’s shakes had transferred down to her legs and she tapped her feet quietly on the carpeted floor. She felt a gentle touch on her shoulder and turned to see Samaira resting her hand there. She smiled at her and Anya returned it. A second later Immonen put his hand on her other shoulder and gave it a pat.

“I haven’t seen any sign of aliens. Just you hosts,” Senator Diaz said.

“Excuse me?” Anya said and gestured at Felix with both of her hands. “What do you think they are? Do you think I made the menu system with spare parts from an abandoned Radio Shack?”

“Angela,” Senator Norris said as he turned to face Diaz, “it’s either aliens or somebody has managed to make near-magical levels of advancement in technology without alerting anybody. Either way, they’re not entirely to blame for this.”

“Thank you!” Anya said.

“Yes, thank you,” Felix said. “Also technically I’m not an alien! I was born here on Ea——”

“Felix, not now,” Anya said. “You’re alien tech okay?”

“Okie doke!”

“Senator Norris may think you’re not entirely to blame but you blew up Prospect Park,” General Johnson said and jabbed a finger at Anya. “And you did it using….whatever your powers are, they’re on par with military-grade weaponry.”

Anya wanted to correct him and add that her powers were, at this point, far beyond anything the military had save for perhaps their biggest bombs and nukes.

“And you are responsible for nearly blowing up that mall in Chicago,” Johnson continued and pointed at Samaira, then turned to Immonen. “And you…well, you probably don’t have a visa to be here, do you?”

“I do not,” Immonen said and shrugged. “I’m also responsible for distributing untested drugs across most of Europe and performing surgery in countries for which I do not possess the proper medical paperwork.”

This got a few chuckles from around the room and Johnson scowled.

“You are weapons,” Johnson said. “I’d be insane, a fool, or an anarchist to just let you people wander free around the country, capable of anything with no oversight.”

“General, perhaps this is not the wisest tactic to take. And I’ll remind you that your own level of oversight does not necessarily apply here,” Director MacDougal said.

“He’s right though,” Senator Diaz said. “I represent the people of Florida. Several of my people were dissolved in some sort of chemical attack Monday night. The CDC still has an entire neighborhood quarantined and sealed off. If it is all aliens, fine, but they’re after these host people who are just running around and getting innocents involved.”

Anya winced. For what seemed like the hundredth or thousandth time, Carl and the dead police spun through her mind in the looping, gruesomely detailed death reel her brain kept at the ready.

“I can’t speak for everyone, and I don’t want to, but I want to help. I just don’t want to be some government asset,” Anya said.

“Me too,” Samaira said.

“I think my record speaks for itself,” Immonen said.

“It might not matter what you want,” Director MacDougal said. “Any of us. We have evidence of alien technology on Earth, and even if we don’t have video recordings, there’s enough evidence to implicate some level of invasion. Whatever that mess was the Chicago PD found in the mall was, it wasn’t human.”

“So we’re really buying the whole alien invasion thing?” Senator Diaz asked.

“If you haven’t by now——” Samaira said and then Anya turned away as her ear beeped.

“Felix?” she asked.

“You have an incoming message from Gary!” Felix said.

“Bring it up,” Anya replied, and Samaira trailed off as Anya’s menu floated over the table, and Gary’s face appeared.

“Uh, hello,” Gary said. “Am I interrupting?”

“Who is this?” General Johnson asked.

“Ho, the Commandant himself. Lance Corporal Gary Hendricks, infantry,” Gary replied.

“A former marine?” Diaz asked.

“No such thing as a ‘former’ Marine, ma’am,” Gary replied. “Introductions will wait. I hate to be blunt but we got trouble.”

“Hello! Pan here!” Pan said and poked his head into view from the side. There were a view gasps from the room as the talking pangolin made his appearance.

“What’s going on?” Samaira asked.

“Did you ping the area before you landed?” Gary asked. Anya’s stomach sank. She had pinged the area, but the only reason Gary would be bringing this up was if…

“I did,” Anya replied. “So did Samaira and the doctor. There was nothing. Did you spot an alien?”

“No,” Gary said and Anya breathed a sigh of relief. Her breath caught in her throat as Gary continued, “I’ve spotted five. They’re closing on you right now.”

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