An alert messaged to citizens of Beijing (Translated from Mandarin):

ATTENTION: Explosions outside of the city were the result of planned demolition of structures and forested area to make way for new construction projects. Please do not approach the area in question while construction is underway.

From By-the-Bay, a Monterey-based forum:

BitGrit: Another “disturbance,” in California. This one was a few miles outside the city.

KOW1994: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

ScubaKingMB: It seems like it’s at least half a dozen things every day. Terrorist bomb in Brooklyn, chemical attack in Florida, gas explosion in Chicago, multiple murders in Seattle, some kind of landslide outside Portland, and now, what? Another bombing outside Monterey?

PresidioPal: Dunno how much I can say, but everybody here has been told to stay on alert at all times.

BitGrit: Aren’t you folks at the Presidio just supposed to be students or something?

PresidioPal: We’re still an active military base.

KOW1994:Is this some Area-51 shit?

HoppyXD: Oh god, not this shit again

KOW1994: It’s not just the US! It’s EVERYWHERE. Have you had your fucking head up your ass?

ModeratorAli: KOW, keep it civil. Everybody is nervous about what’s been happening but don’t make attacks.

ScubaKingMB: He’s not wrong though. There’s stuff like this from everywhere.

BitGrit: PP, can you tell us anything? Have they told you anything?

PresidioPal: Even if they had, I couldn’t say. But no, I’ve just noticed that the higher-ups look like they’re about to shit their pants at any second. My Russian teacher had family in Belarus and he canceled class for the day. That like, NEVER happens.

KOW1994: You know it’s some Area-51 shit QUIT LYING

ModeratorAli: Enjoy your temp ban.

Transcript from TalkBack: Views on the News with Brad Masterson:

BRAD: Welcome to TalkBack, where today we have noted psychologist, Dr. Hugh Houston.

HUGH: Thank you for having me, Brad.

BRAD: So, you’ve seen the news this past week. Everybody has seen the news. It’s been one disaster, one crisis, one trauma after another. Apparently at least 2-5 terrorist attacks involving multiple people dead since Monday night, and that’s just America. Then there’s Belarus, and all these weird sightings people are having of monsters or UFOs or strange people. What’s going on?

HUGH: Well, I have a theory, but I’m afraid it’s very boring.

BRAD: Do tell.

HUGH: The terrorist attacks have so far amounted to some explosions outside of Brooklyn, a gas release in Florida, and a few other incidents. I think these are unrelated due to the varying nature of the attacks themselves and the places they occurred in: low-population areas like a park at night or an uncrowded suburb. This is assuming they’re attacks at all.

BRAD: So you think these are just accidents?

HUGH: It’s entirely possible they could be attacks, but less likely that it’s a network of them set up by a single group.

BRAD: And everything else? The world feels like it’s gone a bit crazy the last several days.

HUGH: Coincidence. Occam’s Razor tells us to go with the simplest solution. So either there is a network of coordinated attacks going on set up by some kind of global conspiracy, or a lot of very bad things are all just happening at once. There doesn’t appear to be any rhyme or reason to these terrible events besides the fact that they’re all awful. There’s no common factor, no linking thread. They happen in crowded cities, in the middle of nowhere, they involve nuclear weapons, landslides, gangs with machetes, and so on. It’s all too chaotic to be anything but unfortunate coincidence.

BRAD: And what about the more fantastical reports? UFOs over Brazil and that sort of thing?

HUGH: Probably mass hysteria brought on by the stress of the other events.

MALE #1: Bullshit! I saw something!

HUGH: What on Earth?

BRAD: Uh, Security? Can we——

MALE #1: I saw that thing that killed my brother! You’re telling me I was just making that up?

HUGH: No! I——I——

BRAD: Security!

MALE #1: You son of a bitch, don’t know——

MALE #2: Get him! Hold him! Hold!

HUGH: Oh my god.

BRAD: Cut it. Cut to commercial! Cut t——

From the public chatlogs of World of Fantastical Magic, an MMORPG:

BartyMcBly: Did you see the guy in the helmet?

Orka_ThragSkull: He hijacked every network for like a half hour. Everybody fucking saw him.

Fairy_Poppins: Okay but did you see the chick on the left?

Arbiter Dane: Hell yeah I did. That armor couldn’t hide them tig ol’ bitties

BartyMcBly: Jesus. Dude it’s like the end of the world and crazy psychos are hijacking global television broadcasts and you focus on some basically unseen boobs? They were behind plate armor.

Arbiter Dane: It may be the end of the world but I’m not dead yet. And that plate armor was stacked.

Lady LeFay: Gross.

Arbiter Dane: no u tho

Orka_Thragskull: I think Dane is like 12 or something.

BartyMcBly: Anybody else who isn’t in the throes of pre-adolescence worried about scary helmet man?

Fairy_Poppins: I mean, it was pretty crazy. You think it’s real? Alien invasions and stuff?

Lady LeFay: Probably some kinda ARG or something. Maybe for a movie.

Orka_ThragSkull: And it’s using actual global tragedies? I don’t think any PR company would go that far for a movie. People would cancel it as soon as it was officially announced.

Arbiter Dane: I’m hoping aliens. Hot aliens.

Lady LeFay: Dude, shut up

Arbiter Dane: Probe me my body is ready

Arbiter Dane started Dancing

Fairy_Poppins: I also volunteer Dane to be probed