《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》01.03.05
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“I assume everybody speaks English or has a translator handy, so we’ll begin,” Renn said from his position atop the tower where everybody could see him. “As you may recall, my name is Renn. This lovely lady is my associate Mona, and this gentleman here is Kan. Like many of you, we have joined together out of our shared necessity: to survive the alien attacks that have killed almost all of us in the past two days.”
Renn stepped off the side of the tower and strolled down through the air one step at a time until he stood in the courtyard with everyone else. Mona floated down beside him and Kan just jumped to the ground, unperturbed by the height.
“Felix,” Anya whispered, “don’t appear, but keep track of what these three are doing and any corresponding skills that match up. Like the woman, Mona. Maybe anti-gravity or telekinesis or something. Okay?”
“You got it!” Felix said inside her ear. “Want me to update you with possibilities as I find them or save it for after? I’ve got a few dozen possible skills that would let somebody float like that right now!”
“Save it for later. I need to pay attention,” Anya muttered.
“Yes, that is our conundrum,” an echoing, artificial, female voice said. The voice was layered over that of the old woman with white hair, colorful robes, and the glowing staff. The old woman herself was speaking a language Anya didn’t recognize, and the echoing voice emerged from the glowing orb at the top of the staff itself, translating for her as she spoke. “We all know the problem. What is the solution? The demons grow stronger with every kill.”
“We know working in groups is more successful than going it alone. And anybody here who has killed an alien knows from their data streams that they have far better tracking abilities than we do, and this allows them to coordinate their attacks more effectively. That is one of the reasons for this meeting: once a host exchanges messages or makes physical contact with another host, they will be able to track them in real time with complete effectiveness.”
Scattered murmuring rippled through the crowd.
“So you can know where we are at all times?” a short black woman with long braided hair asked in a South African accent. She stood next to a taller man with sandy brown hair and a beard, and both were surrounded by several strange animals. The biggest of the creatures was the size of a horse and resembled a cross between a cobra and a raccoon. It regarded the assembled hosts with bright yellow eyes split by vertical black pupils, and tendrils of blue electricity sparked between its twitching whiskers.
“Or so you can give our locations to someone else. Like a government or other organization,” Gary said.
“No. Only so we can coordinate, communicate, and help one another,” Renn said. “Besides, you can simply remove a contact from your list at any time,” Renn pulled up a deep purple menu and displayed a list that contained “MONA” and “KAN.” He selected Mona, pushed her name to the side, and she vanished.
“I’m still on his map, naturally, since we’re in physical proximity, but once I get a short distance away, I would vanish from his detection,” Mona said. She then patted Renn on the shoulder and her name reappeared in his contact list.
“I’ll confirm that,” the hazy figure that had broken up the fight earlier said. “I met somebody outside Amsterdam who wanted to keep their privacy and requested I remove them. I did and they vanished as soon as we had a few kilometers between us.”
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“No offense man, but I’m kinda finding it hard to trust somebody I can’t even see,” Jairo said as he fiddled with some controls for his green visor. There were some muttered assents around him.
“That’s fair,” the hazy man said and then his figure sharpened and became fully visible. He was about as tall as Anya, and in his mid-to-late thirties. He had shaggy blond hair pulled back in a short pony tail, and a few days worth of stubble along his angular jawline. He wore a long brown coat over jeans and a collared shirt, and slim, rectangular glasses perched on the edge of a sharp nose that looked as if it had been broken at some point in the distant past.
Anya’s first thought was that he might be Carl’s brother, given their looks, but that wasn’t quite right. Carl’s looks had been entirely altered through the menu. He had been handsome, but it had the hint of artifice, of aesthetics through algorithm. The hazy man in the long coat looked to come by his appearance naturally, and looked better for it
“My name is Doctor Garreth Immonen, from Finland,” he said. “And to prove my sincerity, I’d be happy to be the first to join. With any of you. My skills are mostly geared toward healing, but I can defend myself well enough. If any of you are injured or need help, please don’t hesitate to call on me.”
“Hey!” Cooper said from the rear of the courtyard. Brody stood beside him, idly gulping down hunks of the half-finished giant tuna in his hands. “You’re that guy from Europe going to all the hospitals and stuff!”
Garreth smiled and nodded. “That would be me, yes.”
“Do you heal anything? Like, even if it’s not life threatening?” Cooper asked. Garreth smiled again and nodded.
“You talking about your warts?” Brody asked.
“Oi!” Cooper said and slapped the shark on the side. Brody laughed and threw his head back so a huge slab of tuna meat could slide down his throat.
“May we continue?” Renn asked. “Thank you, Doctor. I can understand why anybody would be hesitant to give away their real-time location to a super-powered stranger, but as it can be undone later, and we’re in an emergency situation now, I think it’s for the best. The aliens are already hunting us. They already have general ideas of our locations at all times. Meanwhile, we are functionally blind and alone. We will not survive if we continue in this way.”
“And once the hosts are dead, Earth’s only real means of combating the aliens will be gone, and the remaining aliens will be even stronger than they are now,” Mona said. More muttering from the crowd.
“All right, let’s say we agree to sign up and make a big happy host coalition,” the man standing beside the raccoon-cobra said. “What then?”
“Then we organize by region and what is needed. For example, Asia and North America have lost the most hosts, while Australia and South America have lost the fewest. So maybe somebody from Australia can go to Asia and fill in some gaps, and so on,” Renn said. “After we connect with each other, communication will no longer be an issue, and if any host finds themselves in danger, a call can be sent out at once and nearby hosts can rush to their aid.”
“Makes sense,” Samaira said.
“And what if there are some psychos here?” Jairo asked. “Somebody set off a nuke in Belarus, somebody set off explosions across Russia, and somebody has been cutting up rich people across Europe.”
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“Obviously we are here to fight the aliens, not our fellow humans,” Renn said. “If somebody here is responsible for those things, then they must stop. Our planet is no stranger to conflict, but whatever we fought over before must be put aside in the face of this invasion.”
“Uh, excuse? Here, please?” a small voice said. It belonged to a diminutive black-haired woman with pale skin and a Russian accent. She had a pair of thick goggles on top of her head and ratty clothing. Everybody turned to look at her at once and she flinched under the collective gaze.
“Ah, I am Zoya. I am not doing the Belarus. But other explosions in Russia…is me,” she said and gave an awkward smile.
“Why would you do that?” Kan, the man in the red hood, asked. It was the only thing he had said the whole time, and Anya was a little surprised at how normal he sounded.
“Is Russia! Boring! Only trees, snow, vodka, snow, more trees, more vodka, more snow. I am not doing explosions at people or places. Just forest. Nobody hurt. Just fun!” Zoya said and let out a short giggle. It sounded to Anya that there might be a hint of mania at the edges of that laugh.
“The news did say it was all well outside of towns. Just a bunch of trees thrown around,” Mona said.
“Hmm. Well, thank you for being honest. Maybe save it for the aliens though?” Renn asked.
“Eh. I will thinking about,” Zoya said and shrugged. “Not on your team yet.”
“And that brings us back to the topic at hand. You know what I’m proposing. This isn’t a new nation we’re forming, no contractual agreements needed. It’s just a group of people watching each other’s backs and trying to defend their home. If you want to join me, I’d be happy to have you. If not, then I wish you safety and good luck in the future. But we should move this along,” Renn said.
“And once all this is over, we can just…quit?”Jairo asked.
“It’s not indentured servitude, dear,” Mona said. “It’s not even a job. Just a handshake and an agreement. When the world is safe again, do what you like, or quit halfway through if you don’t like it, or whatever. We’re just trying to stay alive, not run your life.”
“Okay. I’m in then,” Jairo said and stepped forward next to Garreth. Several other people did too, then a couple dozen.
“I’m for it,” Samaira said. “I don’t see any real downsides if we can just remove contacts at any time.”
“Same,” Anya agreed.
“More friends would be nice,” Pan said.
“Normally I’m not a fan of groups, but yes, the benefits outweigh the risks. My only concern is who here might not be working alone,” Gary said.
“Most people look like they’re solo, but I see several couples and a few groups of three or more,” Anya said.
“Not what I mean. I mean how many of these people are here because their government or some other organization told them to be?” Gary asked. “That Russian gal seems like a nut, but maybe it’s an act. Maybe Moscow told her to come here, make connections, gather intel, and report to them. I’m just using her as an example, but it could be anybody.”
“Oh come on,” Samaira said. “That’s a little paranoid don’t you think?”
“Is it? Anya got in touch with the feds just a few hours ago, told them all about her skills,” Gary said. Anya frowned.
“That was just me! And Pan too, but it wasn’t like I signed on to be their gopher or anything! I didn’t tell them shit about you guys. And I did it to help people, not go tattle on other hosts,” Anya said. Gary’s robot held up its metal hands in a placating gesture, and Gary offered her a smile on the screen.
“I know. I’m not saying you’d rat us out or anything. Only known you for a few hours, but you seem okay. I only mentioned it to point out that hosts contacting government people isn’t so unbelievable, and that we don’t know much of anything about anybody here. Some may be nice, wanting to help folks, like you. Others may not be so charitable. Something to consider,” Gary said.
“Well if somebody is a government plant or whatever, we just remove them from the contact list, or remove everybody if we’re not sure,” Samaira said. “Easy as that.”
“That’s the only reason I’m willing to go along with this,” Gary said. “If you ladies are ready, I saw we introduce ourselves.”
“You gonna be able to through your robot?” Anya asked.
“I’m on my way now,” Gary said and the screen shut off and the robot went still.
“Are we gonna make new friends now?” Pan asked.
“That’s the idea,” Anya nodded. Once Gary arrived, they began to make their way around the courtyard. They met with Jairo first, and the young man seemed all too happy to make an official connection.
“There used to be ten other hosts in Rio! Now it’s just me and some other lady who ran off somewhere,” he said.
“Are you the one with that big robot?” Gary asked him and Jairo proudly confirmed that he was. “I’d love to see it sometime.”
“Anytime you want!” Jairo said then waved as he walked off to meet others.
Next was the bearded man with the cobra-raccoon. His name was Bernard, and he was the “owner” of the strange menagerie that surrounded him and the lady at his side, Amahle.
“They’re elemental summons,” Bernard said when Anya asked about the many colorful, bizarre creatures. Something like a lemur but with horns and bright red hair and smoke coming out of its nostrils approached Anya. It looked at her with glowing eyes, then leapt up into her arms. She felt immense heat within the creature, not too different from her Sun’s Heart.
“Lolo there seems to like you,” Bernard said and laughed.
“Some kind of fire elemental or something?” Anya asked.
“Got it in one,” Bernard nodded.
“Bernard was a fan of those games. The ones with all the little monsters,” Amahle said.
“Excuse you? Was? Still am!” he said and smiled as he petted a huge blue floating tadpole creature beside him.
“What’d you pick?” Samaira asked her. “For skills, I mean.”
“Energy channeling and martial arts,” Amahle said. “A few other things. I can hit and get hit and keep going.”
They all shook hands and waved and moved on to the next people: Cooper and Brody.
“I’m not actually a host,” Cooper said and raised his hands. “I met Brody while I was surfing with my mate. Damn near bit my ass off, then asked me why I wasn’t a fish. Scared the hell out of us. I got Brody to buy me this robot suit from his menu store thing, and I’ve just been going around with him, keeping the big dickhead outta trouble.”
“No trouble. Humans are just weird,” Brody said. “So complicated.”
“They seem okay to me,” Pan said.
“You’re a very strange looking not-fish,” Brody said and leaned down towards Pan and sniffed, then made a face and backed away.
“How many animals you think are out there?” Cooper asked. Anya shrugged.
“Honestly, the thought of a hyper-intelligent Great White Shark capable of walking on land and with access to unlimited superpowers would’ve scared the shit out of me before meeting Brody. But him and Pan…they’re kinda…”
“Simple?” Cooper whispered. Anya nodded.
“Not in a bad way, just, I dunno. It’s sweet. It makes sense. Why would they be evil? They’re just driven by instinct for the most part. Pan seems content to make friends and eat ants and dig.”
“Brody gets a bit cranky if he doesn’t get to eat or swim,” Cooper said. “Also he hates being on his back. The idea of standing still is also pretty new to him. It took me and my friend two days to convince him he wouldn’t suffocate if he just sat in a chair for a few minutes.”
Anya and Samaira laughed and Cooper smiled at Brody as he and Pan chatted with each other and shook hands/claws.
“Is he a shape-shifter or something?” Samaira asked.
“Environmental adaptation,” Cooper said. “Super strength and resilience, and made his teeth some kinda crazy strong organic material too. Some other stuff but I forgot. English, obviously. He picked a few things up from me and my mate.”
“I gathered,” Anya smirked. She wondered if her constant cursing would influence Pan or not. They might need to have a talk about it. He seemed so cute, and him dropping F-bombs like her didn’t seem like a good fit. They all shook hands with Brody, then with Cooper too out of basic courtesy and continued through the crowd.
They eventually got around to everyone. The old lady with the staff just told everyone to call her “Yai,” which was Thai for Grandma. She spoke through the magic orb on top of her staff, and explained she was similar to Doctor Immonen: she had been flying around Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos since everything started helping people as much as she could. She was a sort of life mage, and had also taken to repairing damage done to the forests by the logging industries.
The Asian guy with the superhero look went by “KoreaMan,” and despite his adult features (including his cartoonishly square jaw and wavy black hair), acted oddly childish. When Anya asked him how old he was, he explained in broken English that he was old enough to know about girls, then gave her a clumsy salute and floated away, long white and blue cape fluttering behind him.
Zoya the explosion-obsessed Russian, gave their hands a quick high-five and then scurried away with a simple “Good!” shouted over her shoulder.
The man in the black body armor was easily the most intimidating. He towered over Anya, and made Samaira and especially Pan look like toys. His exposed biceps bulged against his taut skin and thick veins were visible just beneath the surface. His face was entirely hidden behind the faceless futuristic helmet he wore. He merely extended a shovel-sized hand to Anya and she shook it. Her own large hand vanished into his palm but, to her surprise, his touch was gentle.
Her menu identified the huge man as “JIRO,” and Anya thought back to what she had seen on her map last night.
“Are you the guy from Tokyo? The one who fought all those aliens alone?” she asked. Jiro nodded once. “Wow. Good work big guy.”
He just nodded again, shook hands with Samaira, Gary, and Pan, then stomped off.
Garreth Immonen was next, and he seemed genuinely happy to make their acquaintance.
“If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask,” Immonen said.
“I can regenerate, but it’s good to know you’re out there,” Anya said. “Thank you for everything you’ve done already. I feel really, really stupid for not thinking about using the RAC store or the menu for curing cancer and stuff.”
“Please. With everything that’s happened? Nobody could blame you,” Garreth said. Anya smiled wider at him as he focused with clear blue eyes on her from behind his glasses.
“Wish my wife was still here,” Gary said as he shook Garreth’s hand. “Could’ve taken care of her problem in a second.”
“I’m sorry. Did she have…?” Garreth asked.
“Mesothelioma,” Gary said. Garreth winced a little.
“I’m so sorry, sir.”
“It’s okay. Life ain’t always fair. Just glad you’re out there helping people like her,” Gary said and wandered away.
“He mentioned a wife to me before, but I didn’t know,” Samaira said.
“Damn,” Anya sighed. “But he’s right. You and that Yai lady are doing some of the best of all of us.”
“Healing is good and all, but it’s not going to stop all those aliens. We need you all and your powers too. And hey, maybe once this is all over, everybody can use those respecification tokens to get your own healing skills.”
It was a pleasant thought: hundreds of supernatural healers erasing all disease and injury from the planet.
“You’re the first regenerator I’ve met,” Garreth said to Anya. “If you have time, and the disposition, I think observing it in action and taking a sample would help my research.”
“Uh, sure!” Anya said. “Whatever you need. I mean, whatever will help!”
Garreth smiled at her again and then walked away to meet others.
“He seems nice,” Samaira said. Anya thought she heard something in the woman’s voice. Nothing bad just…what was it? Some question unasked. An observation as well as an inquiry.
“Yeah, he does,” Anya said. She hoped she wasn’t blushing too much as she turned away.
She slowly made her way through the assembled group. There was some kind of swordsman from Barcelona who seemed exceptionally friendly, a woman with metallic angel wings, a feral-looking man surrounded by moving plants, and dozens more, each just as or more strange than the last.
Finally, there were only three people in the courtyard that she hadn’t shaken hands with. Anya took a deep breath and approached Renn, Mona, and Kan.
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