《Homicidal Aliens are Invading and All I Got is This Stat Menu》News #2

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From Tokyo Shimbun (translated from Japanese):

REPORTS OF GUNFIRE OUTSIDE TOKYO

Continuous and very loud gunfire was heard in Funabashi from a nearby school late yesterday evening. Due to the late hour, the school was empty and no injuries were reported. However, the school suffered extensive property damage and classes have been canceled for the day. Nearby residents also claim to have seen flashes of light and fire, as well as “something that sounded like heavy machinery,” according to one resident living near the school.

Police have cordoned off the area and are conducting an investigation.

From Jornal do Commercio (Translated from Portuguese):

UFO SIGHTED OVER RIO OUTSKIRTS

Over 300 residents along the northern outskirts of Rio have claimed to have seen an unidentified flying object late Sunday evening.

“It looked to be about the size of a small plane, but with rockets and strange green lights,” said Joao Pereira, a local market owner. “It flew across the sky very quickly as I was closing up my store. Made a really loud booming sound too.”

Other residents claim it was larger or smaller, but all agree that it had rockets and green lights and a roughly elongated shape. Some pictures were taken, but all only show a blurry dark silhouette obscured by bright green smudges of light.

Several police officers also confirm they saw something, but none we were willing to go on the record or offer anything beyond reassurances that they would look into any disturbances.

From The New York Times:

EXPLOSION IN BROOKLYN

A small explosion rocked an apartment building in the Bushwick neighborhood of Brooklyn yesterday, though no injuries or fatalities were reported. The cause may have been faulty gas line or wiring, according to firefighters who were at the scene.

“It’s an older building, and sometimes these sorts of accidents can happen,” said fire marshal Higgins.

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Attempts to contact the apartment’s resident were not returned.

From Oni-Chan (鬼ちゃん), an online message and image board, sub-board /PO/ (Paranormal Occurrences):

20078931: Are people’s cell phones still fucking up? Did /PO/ confirm aliens?

18219647: Yes, /PO/ confirmed aliens when SETI and all world governments did not. We really did it, OP! Dumbass.

20078931: You know what I mean. Was there any real explanation or was it just random shit?

55983729: I think it was just weather patterns wasn’t it?

42900202: It was all over the world though. Dropped calls, bad connections, etc. Weather wouldn’t account for that since weather is different all over the planet.

20078931: My phone’s working fine now, at least. Home internet too.

18219647: Probably just incompetence on the part of telecom companies.

55983729: Mystery solved, OP. This thread is now for posting cute aliens.

18219647: geigerrule34.jpg

55983729: Xeno-chan~~~~

42900202: This place is fucking weird

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