Chapter 30

Fey did not like carrying large amounts of money on her person. It gave her the (paranoid) feeling that potential thieves could tell that she would be a profitable target.

Mithril coin hidden in her grasp, Fey quickly made her way to the bank. Her gold balance, which had been in the thousands, suddenly increased by three orders of magnitude. She decided to pretend not to see the extra digits.

The party took the opportunity to store extra items away, including most of their weapons and equipment. Steel was not a good choice to mix with salt water. Blade also put Firefly into magical storage.

Thus unburdened, the party made its way to shore. The game developers had taken some (extreme) liberties with the local flora and fauna, but to the untrained eye, the sandy beach and ocean looked typical of a tropical coral reef environment.

Fey messaged Sirena:

On the beach was a sturdy building called “Dive Shack”. Fey and Blade visited the shop to purchase diving gear: wetsuits, goggles, and flippers. (Blade was slightly disappointed that no bikinis made their appearance, but Fey didn’t notice.) The gear was all magically augmented to alleviate the dangers associated with diving: the wetsuits were enchanted to prevent decompression sickness and nitrogen narcosis[i]. There was also a belt that automatically adjusted the swimmer’s buoyancy.

Fey was appalled to find that breathing spells cost 1000g each at the shop. She knew that her friend was slightly irresponsible with money, but she thought that not even Sirena would consider 1000g “pretty cheap” (See Chapter 28 if you don’t remember).

Fey spluttered. That markup was insane. Obviously, air spells were more valuable among races that did not possess gills, but a twentyfold increase in price was simply unethical.

This was a reference to Fey’s hobby of reading Psychology Today. (Yup, our heroine needs to study normal people in order to mimic normal social interactions.)

While Arwyn did not have an excessive number of stuffed animals (displayed, anyways; don’t look in the boxes), there were still more than one would expect in the abode of an adult with no children (inner nine-year-olds notwithstanding).

It was extremely common for the friends’ conversation to be diverted (to Randomland) and then abruptly return to the original topic. Sirena pulled them back to the matters at hand.

Fey and company were now on the edge of the water. She and Blade sat down to put on their flippers, and Fey re-tied her hair into a ponytail to keep it out of the way in the water.

Blade looked out over the water. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing.

Fey followed his gaze. At first, she thought it was a dolphin performing acrobatic leaps out of the water, but the shape and colour were wrong.

Fey sighed. “That’s Sirena,” she admitted. Her friend was not being helpful in establishing a case for her sanity.

Blade froze momentarily in adjusting one of his flippers. “…Oh.”

Fey splashed awkwardly through the water (there isn’t really a graceful way to do it when you’re wearing flippers). “We’ve got to go save her from her boredom.”

Just then, Sirena attempted a backflip. Instead of slicing gracefully into the water, she landed with a loud splash, the back-first version of a belly-flop.

Fey winced in sympathy.

No more acrobatics were forthcoming. (It looks like our heroine failed to save her best friend from her own boredom.)

Fey and Blade kicked their way over to Sirena, staying near the surface of the water.

Hee hee. Gotta love flippers. Fey had small hands and feet; while they could be considered ‘dainty’, they resulted in a slow natural swimming speed. She loved how easily she zoomed through the water while wearing flippers.

Before long, they reached Sirena. The blue-skinned mermaid passed small pellets to Fey and Blade.

:Just pop them and the breathing spell will activate,: she said telepathically.

Human vocal cords did not work very well underwater, so the game developers gave merfolk the racial ability to speak telepathically. This ability was very similar to speech in its range, ability to be ‘louder’ or ‘softer’, and ability to convey tone and inflections.

Neither Fey nor Blade had a similar psychic ability, so Fey added Sirena to the party and spoke through party chat. With slightly more concentration, it was possible to send audio chat without actually speaking out loud.

“Sirena, this is Blade. Blade, this is my best friend Sirena.”

:Hello!: said Sirena cheerfully. She offered a (blue) hand to shake in a friendly manner.

Blade warily accepted the handshake, looking as if he expected it to result in a minor explosion. “…Hi.”

“He already knows you’re crazy,” Fey noted.

Sirena pouted. :Oh, pooh, it’s no fun this way.:

“You get a little outrageous when you’re bored,” Fey pointed out.

:I was soo bored. Grinding for hours and hours and hours.: Sirena’s telepathic tone was rather melodramatic. She smiled at Blade. :I’m usually more normal than Fey is.:

“She is,” Fey confirmed.

Blade’s expression either meant ‘I have some doubts as to the veracity of your statement’ or ‘being more normal than Fey doesn’t mean much’. “Uh, okay,” he agreed in an unconvinced tone.

Sirena let out a telepathic laugh. She private-messaged Fey:

Fey’s attention was caught by one of the glooms. The shadow-rabbits had been experimenting with their shapes, looking for an efficient way to move through the water. Ebony had hit upon copying Sirena’s shape in miniature, and was now slicing through the water with ease. However, for some reason, the gloom had elected to retain the ears of its native form, and now looked like a mermaid wearing costume ears.

:Oh, how cute!: Sirena exclaimed. The mermaid grabbed the miniature shadow-mermaid and hugged it to her chest.

“I don’t know whether this counts as narcissism or not,” commented Fey dryly.

The other glooms adopted the same powerful tail that Ebony had, but found it simpler to form a simple round blob in front. They swam around quickly but unsteadily.

“You need fins to stabilize your trajectory,” said Fey.

The glooms did not respond.

Fey’s eyes widened in horror. “They can’t hear me!!!” she yelled through party chat.

Sirena winced (*karma*). :Relax; I’ll tell them. Glooms, Fey said that you need fins.:

The five non-mermaid glooms extended three fins each, equidistant about their circumferences. They now resembled torpedos with tails, and zoomed through the water very efficiently.

“This is so not cool.” Fey was mightily dissatisfied with how she could not communicate directly with her pets.

Amethyst squeaked concernedly (“Fey-Fey can’t talk to us?”). How any of the pets produced sound was a mystery, as out of the Feypets, only Boris actually possessed vocal cords.

Ebony squeaked from her position tucked (squished) under Sirena’s arm (“Sy-Sy can, though.”)

Boris grunted (“Not the same.”). He was able to swim in the water, but was quite slow compared to the speeds the glooms could attain.

“Gr. Let’s hurry up and get you to level 30 so we can get out of this water.” Fey grabbed Sirena’s hand and started kicking towards the merfolk colonies. With a single powerful stroke of her tail, Sirena overtook Fey and began towing her along.

“Um, girls?” Blade called out from behind them. Even with flippers, he simply could not match the swimming speed of a mermaid.

:Oops, sorry!: Sirena released Fey’s hand and swam back to tow Blade along. Fey was already pulling out her (handy-dandy) rope. Before long, Sirena had it wrapped around her waist while Fey and Blade were towed along behind, kicking their flippers to reduce their drag on the mermaid. Fey held Boris with one hand, while Amethyst looped her bubble around Fey’s neck (*gentle stranglehold*) and was pulled along. The glooms kept pace with the party through their own swimming skills, zipping along with their artificial tails.

:Uh, Fey, are you staring at my butt?: Sirena asked, looking back at her friend after a few minutes of swimming.

“You don’t have a butt right now,” Fey pointed out logically.

:Okay, are you staring at my upper tail section?:

“Kind of. I’m trying to figure out what kind of tail you have.”

Both Sirena and Blade showed quizzical expressions. The mermaid’s tail was covered in blue scales, so they thought it was fairly obvious that it was a fish tail.

Since Fey had brought it to attention, Blade was now staring at Sirena’s “upper tail section” (*euphemism*). The game designers had once again sacrificed realism for aesthetics, so the melding of human torso and (mystery-type) tail was harmonious and attractive. While Fey was almost completely oblivious to this kind of attention, Sirena was not, and glanced at Blade quizzically. He quickly looked elsewhere.

Fey explained, “Fish tails move side to side, while marine mammal tails move up and down. You have fish scales on your tail, but it moves up and down.”

:Huh.: said Sirena contemplatively. This was one of the things most people knew if they thought about it, but never thought about. :So it’s a fish-mammal hybrid tail?:

“I guess,” said Fey. “It would probably feel really unnatural to have a tail that moved left and right.”

Before long, Sirena began to feel exhaustion from towing her party members. Mermaid or not, her chosen class was mage, and her strength was less than a third of a warrior’s at the same level.

:You guys are heavy: she complained good-naturedly. She slowed down to prevent over-exertion.

“Meh,” said Fey. As good friends often do, she acknowledged and ignored Sirena’s complaints.

“Sorry,” said Blade. He kicked harder with his flippers to reduce the drag he had on Sirena.

After a brief moment of surprise, Sirena smiled at the human warrior. She proceeded to gossip with Fey through private messaging.

(to a certain someone who should be obvious.)

(*dramatic irony*)

[ii] stories over the years.>

(Fey didn’t think that Blade was that good-looking or gentlemanly, but she was aware that her perceptions were extremely skewed by fantasy books and anime, and did not argue with her friend’s assessment.)

The coral kingdom that was the merfolk starter town, Pearlview[iii], came into view.

The buildings were made of live coral in delicate pink, green, blue, white, and gold. Curves and spirals dominated the architecture; a keen eye (which Fey had not) would notice the golden ratio[iv] everywhere. Aquatic plants were cultivated in gardens, and gently swayed in the water currents. Colourful fish and merfolk swam by, scales flashing in the clear, tropical waters.

Pearlview’s crowning glory was (obviously) a giant pearl that rivalled Fey’s height in diameter. This impossibly large sphere was mounted at the top of the tallest tower in town. (Well, it’s impossible unless you take into account the size that oysters can grow into in the game.)

“Pwetty…” said Fey, looking around (W-spelling intended).

Blade silently agreed. His attention, however, was not centred on the scenery.

In the world of Fantasia, male gamers outnumbered female gamers at a ratio of approximately 2:1. For the elven race, this ratio held; for the less ‘pretty’ races, the male proportion was even larger; for instance, dwarven players had 35 males per female.

In the underwater merfolk colonies, the gender imbalance was completely reversed, and mermaids dominated the population 50:1 compared to mermen.

In addition, underwater travel necessitated tight-fitting clothing like swimsuits. Merfolk had the same heat-insulating bodies as marine mammals, and did not have to wear skin-covering wetsuits like humans did. Fashion ran towards “skimpy”.

In such an environment, any insecurities a woman had about her body would be amplified and exposed. Thus, choosing to be a mermaid resulted in the highest average number of appearance modules purchased of any of the playable races.

In short, Blade was in the middle of a harem fantasy. Natural or not, beautiful mermaids swam around in every direction. He was enough of a gentleman to pretend not to notice, but his subconscious was enjoying itself immensely.

:Phew, we’re finally here.: Sirena untied the rope around her waist and Fey coiled it up. :Where to first?: she asked.

“Weapons shop,” Fey said with surety (Priority 1: be able to kill things).

Sirena led the way to the appropriate building.

Sea architecture was quite different than that on land. Fluctuations in temperature and weather were basically non-existent, so buildings served more to delineate boundaries than to provide shelter from the elements. In addition, the flow of fresh water was necessary to prevent oxygen depletion in a space. As such, public buildings like shops were completely open on top to allow easy access and viewing of goods.

Sirena, Fey, and Blade swam down into the weapons store, run by a male NPC. Possibly taking into account the predominantly female clientele, all the store clerks in Pearlview were handsome mermen. (The clerks didn’t mind.)

:Hello: greeted the shop-keeper. His telepathic voice was distinctly different from Sirena’s, somehow as clearly masculine as hers was feminine.

:Hi!: said Sirena cheerfully. Unlike Fey, she had no aversion to talking to strangers and felt no awkwardness. (Fey was currently happy that she couldn’t talk, and therefore didn’t have to.) :My friends here need weapons suitable for level twenty-something warriors.:

:Certainly: said the sales(mer)man. Expertly maneuvering in the restricted space of the store, he took down a selection of weapons and placed them on the counter for viewing. :My name is Ansel; let me know if you need any help.: He gave them space to peruse the items.

Weaponry designed for underwater combat also differed greatly from land weapons. The greater viscosity of water compared to air greatly affected the speed and effectiveness of different movements. Swings and slashes were slowed more than stabs and thrusts, so spears were favoured over swords.

Neither were the same materials used to construct weapons. Steel would not last long if exposed to salt water, and wood and leather were not available. Most of the items on the counter were made of crystalline rock or steel coated in titanium (because level 20-something weaklings aren’t allowed to have solid titanium).

Fey felt drawn towards a double-headed spear. Its shaft was glossy obsidian carved with grooves along its entire length to improve grip. One end held a standard leaf-shaped spearhead, while the other had the cruel backward-facing barbs of a harpoon.

Blade chose a weighted net, woven from fibres tough enough to resist cutting and tearing, as well as a titanium-coated trident, somewhat coincidentally matching the weapons used by a class of Roman gladiators, the fisherman-inspired retiarius[v].

The warriors paid Ansel and left with their new weapons. Considering the short time they planned to adventure underwater, they decided against spending extra money on armour. (Thrifty choice or dangerous decision, we shall have to see.)

“Where to?” Blade asked, now that they were equipped properly.

“Let’s go experiment on some weaker monsters,” Fey suggested. Despite her words being a perfectly logical suggestion, when she said “experiment”, it called to mind evil scientists with questionable morals.

Sirena was used to the effect and ignored it. :How about giant lobsters? They’re level 15.:

“Sounds edible,” said Fey. “Let’s go kill some.”

Footnotes:

[i] Decompression sickness occurs when a diver ascends from deep water too quickly; gases that were dissolved in the bloodstream and tissues separate and can form bubbles that can damage tissue and block blood vessels

Nitrogen narcosis refers to a state of impairment similar to alcohol intoxication, which can occur when diving in deeper waters, where the increased pressure increases the concentration of gas dissolved in the blood

[ii] This refers to people who exhibit creepy behaviour, not the kind of vines that cling to walls to grow up surfaces.

[iii] This creatively uncreative name was brought to you by karami92

[iv] The golden ratio is a relationship between two numbers (e.g. a and b)where the sum of the two numbers (a + b) has the same ratio with the larger of the two numbers; this value is approximately 1.618. This ratio has shown to be found in nature, and the most typical image of it is the golden spiral

[v] According to Wikipedia, the retiarius was considered the lowliest kind of gladiator. The author had no prior knowledge of this fact before writing this chapter.