《Prehistoric Barbarian》Book 1 - Chapter 12 - Unlucky!
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[You must be joking with me.]
[I’m sorry, but I’m not.]
[What kind of dogshit luck is this? Improved bladder?! Why?! Who needs it improved?!]
[It’s mainly a quality of life change. The one who ordered it is probably a hardcore VR player and needs the extra… capacity.]
I was done. This was just stupid. Who would order something so expensive so that she would have to go out to pee less while she plays? This place was either insane, or I was the one going nuts. And what kind of bullshit luck was this? Couldn’t I get something more useful?
AAARG…
“I feel like a stupid character in a lame story… This is way too lame to be a coincidence. Where’s my catgirl harem or my unbeatable necromantic powers?” I asked the empty room upsetly. “APPRAISAL!” I shouted while looking at the box in my hand, but nothing happened.
[You are torturing the translation module. I didn’t understand any of that sadly,] she said with a sigh.
Putting aside unfortunate loot I was surprised by Genna’s response. She was clearly trying to guilt trip me into an explanation. Curiosity was definitely her weak point. I took a mental note of this.
[Harem is a man’s polygamy dream, necromantic power is an imaginary magic that lets you raise the dead and appraisal is also an unreal skill that provides you with information about people and objects,] I shared my wisdom with her.
[Ah, interesting. Your necromantic power sounds like the Revival program from the past. It ended disastrously.]
[Revival program?] I raised my eyebrow at the sound of this.
[The Research Department started the project nearly 600 cycles ago. Their end goal was to create technology that would make it possible to revive dead people. Unfortunately, unforeseen problems came up during their work, and it ended in a planetary isolation. They tried to recover the situation, but the surface got to a point where it became irreversible. In the end, the Planetary Task Department had to come in and scorch down the surface of the planet. Since then, it’s one of the banned research topics in the Empire. Also, it was the biggest tragedy in the last 1000 cycles.]
[You burnt down a whole planet?] I was flabbergasted.
[It was a necessary precaution, and there wasn’t much to save anymore on the planet.]
I was fascinated by the whole story, but I had another matter that required my attention at the moment.
[Back to the pee steroid. Does this only make my bladder tolerant? Isn’t it unhealthy to keep more pee in it?]
[It makes the organ more flexible and tolerant. It merely provides a decrease in time between toilet visits while making sure there are no adverse health effects.]
[This is so lame. I wouldn’t be able to sell this shit even if I could.]
[You would be surprised how popular these can be among those who seriously involve themselves in VR games. Not everyone can afford the capsules that can take care of your body for you while you play.]
[This is slowly turning into the Matrix. This won’t end well for you guys, trust me.]
[There are certain notions that oppose the way our society is headed, but according to some predictions the critical turning point won’t happen for a few more decades.]
I despised these people in the future and their lifestyle. I felt like one of those old men who couldn’t stop complaining about ‘em young whippersnapper and telling people how much better things were in their time.
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Am I 26 or more than 12000? How does this work with time travel?
[So, what should I do with this? Just trash it?]
[Level 4 BioEnhancers don’t have a limit on how many you can take. Why won’t you use it?]
[Meh, I don’t know. Is this safe? What if I’m allergic?]
[There are fail-safes for allergic reactions. I think it’s better to use it than just throwing it away.]
[How do I use this then?]
[Before sleep you inject the serum and take the pill. It has sedatives, so you’ll sleep through the night and when you wake up the next day it will be done.]
[I get the tube, but why a pill?] I asked while taking it out of the box and looking at it carefully.
[A physical change like this doesn’t come without the necessary resources and energy. It provides them for the treatment.]
[That makes sense. I guess I’ll have to take a pill...] I wasn’t too excited about this.
I threw the box on the table and leaned back on the couch. It wouldn’t be bad to have super strength and speed, but I doubted I could get enough money to get those. Money was a problem. I couldn’t keep living on the allowance and just sit around on my ass. I would go crazy, fast. I needed money, but I wouldn’t do another shitty job to get by. I wouldn’t allow myself to live a sorry, pathetic life again.
[What kind of jobs could I get?]
[I’ll need to ask a few questions if you don’t mind. Do you have any skills?]
[Erm, I was good with IT stuff, I learned a lot about ecology and renewable energy sources, and I had some knowledge about small business management,] I answered while staring at the ceiling.
[I’m sorry to disappoint you, but most of those skills are obsolete here. The only useful skill would be the knowledge about small business management.]
[I thought it might be the case,] I said dejectedly.
[Don’t get discouraged. We’ll find something suitable for you!] she tried cheering me up. [Any notable past experiences?]
[Again, small business management and… nothing else. In my last job, I only learned to hate people. No experience from there worth noting.]
[Alright. Anything else you might want to add?]
[I’d prefer something where I don’t have to kiss the customer's ass if possible.]
[Give me a minute, and I’ll look into the available positions suiting you.]
I doubted she would find anything remotely acceptable for me. I felt kind of useless here. Thinking about the possibility of robots taking over physical work I doubted there would be too many open positions for a job. I wondered what could so many people do for a living here.
[Since you said that you are not interested in VR games… thankfully… I excluded in-game jobs. The ava-]
[Ingame jobs?!] I interrupted her.
[Yes. There are countless job opportunities in these VR games. For example in nomadic or zero-tech settings there is still a need for manual labor or other time-consuming tasks.]
[And people pay other people to do those?!]
[Of course. It’s a common practice to hire workers in-game.]
[This is crazy. The more I hear about this VR craze, the more I want to stay away from it.]
[Words can’t describe how grateful I am for hearing this from you. At first, I was scared you would get addicted like most of the people. Thankfully you are different in this case, but unfortunately, this difference isn’t positive in all aspects of life.]
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[Back to the topic. I found several available jobs that would match your profile. I found several open positions for the following tasks: shop assistant, delivery assistant, support assistant, V200 maintenance technician, caretaker,] she listed. [These positions would provide you with the necessary knowledge. Sadly, other options require the existence of specific knowledge and experience. For now, I would advise you to find a job and then later on you can maybe acquire some education in order to qualify for other jobs.]
[What’s that V200?]
[It’s a generic robot for everyday manual labor. For example in the dining room the robots that handle the waiting are V200s.]
That didn’t sound so bad. Besides, the delivery assistant sounded promising, too, but I would have to know more about it. The other ones were out of the question. Especially the support assistant and the caretaker. Fuck those!
I had two possible choices which were way more than I expected. I was pleasantly surprised by this. They weren’t exactly what I wanted, but for a short while, I’ll have to bite the bullet and earn some cash to be able to do something more meaningful. Also, Genna mentioned the possibility to learn something new and get a more interesting or exciting job than these current ones. That was definitely a nice possibility later on, but first I would need more money. I couldn’t live off of this stupid allowance. I wondered how much I would earn from these jobs.
[How much can I make with these jobs?]
[Between 10000-20000 credits.]
[That’s not a bad start I guess. I expected something horrible like sewer cleaning or radioactive waste disposal,] I said. [Let me sleep on this. Tomorrow we’ll decide.]
[Sure. Thinking something through is a wise decision most of the time.] She ignored my examples on purpose. I expected a funny response. Not cool Genna… not cool.
I looked at my fake window, and it was getting dark outside.
[Is it getting late or the fake window is even faker and makes a fool out of me?]
[It shows the outside conditions in its current settings. The time is 19:14 local.]
Ah, the day went by so fast. I didn’t do anything productive all day. If I couldn’t get a job, I would have to come up with a time-consuming alternative activity, or I would go nuts from boredom. Maybe trying out one of those VR games wouldn’t be such a bad idea, but Genna might choke me to death in my sleep. She seemed awfully anti-VR.
I was starting to feel hungry for some bland nutrition… I missed tastes.
I picked up a meal and sat back on the couch. I turned on the holoscreen and searched for something to watch. After flipping through a couple of streams, I found something that looked like a documentary. It was about some kind of jellyfish that can mindwash other sea creatures into following it and protecting it. The narrator said that it’s not dangerous directly to more complex organisms like people, but indirectly it could cause harm to the careless with his zombie army of animals. I spent a good while watching it while slowly eating my dinner.
After yawning for the fifth time, I realized that it was getting late. I decided I better head to bed before I started watching another movie and felt the need the finish it.
I missed my phone. I always spent a lot of time on it in bed before sleeping. I definitely missed good food, too. I looked with disgust at the empty box of my dinner. It was fine the first time, but I was starting to really miss normal food.
I threw out the trash and went to the bathroom to do the usuals before sleep. After coming out, I pulled out a new boxer from the shopping bag and put it on. It nearly felt like silk, but not quite. All in all, it was super comfortable, and it fit perfectly.
[This is the perfect size for me. You are awesome.]
[Agreed. You’re welcome,] she said.
[So, how do I use this shit?] I asked while looking at the box with the tube and the pill.
[First, you have to take the pill and then use the injector preferably on your shoulder. Remember to hold it in place until it empties. After that, you should go to bed because the sedatives start working fast.]
Of course, it had to be a stupid pill. I forced it down with water, but it still felt horrible. I took a look at the tube. It had “Improved Bladder” written on its side with the same logo as the box had. I removed the cover at the end of it, and there was a syringe. I held it to my shoulder and pressed it against my skin. I could feel it break my skin and the tube started to make a weird sound while I felt something slowly entering my body and spreading out like heat. It wasn’t painful or uncomfortable, it just felt like a warm liquid spreading out below my skin. Around 10 seconds was enough, and a little air pushed out at the other end of the tube. It was empty. I put it down on the kitchen table. I didn’t feel like throwing it out before making sure that it worked fine.
I moved my left hand around a little while I went to my bed.
[I hope this won’t cause any problems. If I wake up with my dick fallen off, I’ll blame you and you should expect the full extent of my wrath.]
[Bah, nothing will happen. You should concentrate on sleeping. I’ll monitor your body the whole time.]
“Good night, Genna.”
[Good night, Aium.]
I fell asleep faster than usual. I dreamt of a white-tiled corridor that reminded me of a hospital. From the window, all I could see was an ocean stretching out towards the horizon. I could faintly hear a soft sobbing from far away. As I started walking down the corridor, the sobbing got louder and louder. I reached a door and listened. I could hear the noises coming from the other side. I reached for the handle, and without hesitation, I opened the door. It was a small room with those cushioned walls like in a mental asylum. In the corner, a single toilet was standing. It was sobbing. I stepped in, and it visibly shivered and started crying even louder. I wanted to ask why it was crying, but my dream abruptly ended there.
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