《Prehistoric Barbarian》Book 1 - Chapter 8 - Cosmic sneeze
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This will be harder to explain than I expected.
[Let me give you a little context,] I said as I removed my mask.
[My name is Aium Roowe. I’m a single guy, living alone in a small apartment with a shitty job. I live on Earth, and it should be the year 2016. Last night I went to bed like I always do. I didn’t do anything different from the usual, but I woke up in a ship while a godly looking babe tried to wake me with a language I couldn’t understand. She kicked me out, and then the desk guy brought me to mustache guy who drugged me up with something that later turned out to be you. I don’t know where I’m, I don’t know how I got here, everything’s strange and unfamiliar, and I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be here. The last time I looked, they were still years away on Earth from even sending the first humans to Mars, and now I’m here on this… what’s the planet’s name again?]
[Hatuu...]
[Yeah, thanks. And I’m here on this Hatuu planet with an A.I. in my head… sorry, nervous system. The closest we came to A.I.s are probably those dumb chat programs that don’t even work properly. This is insane!] During my monolog I kept my fists balled up, but after spewing out all my worries, I felt slightly lighter inside.
The following silence was far too long to be comfortable for me.
Inside I was praying for her not to freak out. I didn't have anybody else I could turn to, and I didn't want to end up in a government research facility.
[I scanned your brain again. It seems healthy... There are no signs of deception either, or you are a master liar.]
[So?]
[I’m pretty sure you are not a master liar. What you just told me… is it really the truth?]
[Yes! Do you believe me?]
[I do, but I’m fairly confident you have no idea about the significance of what you just told me.]
[Why?]
[First of all, nobody uses years anymore to signify the passage of time. We use cycles that are based on the Semwick system. Currently, we are in the 6256th cycle. A cycle would be around 1,3 old human years just so you are aware.]
[Does that mean… I somehow jumped more than 4000 years into the future?!]
I plopped down on the couch and just stared at the table with an open mouth. I was beyond shocked.
[As I said, you have no idea how big this situation could be if it’s true. Humans lost most of their history due to several disastrous events. Currently, we hardly know anything about their past. We know the home planet of humanity was called Earth, but the planet is not habitable anymore. There aren’t much on its surface that could be used or studied for information about the past,] she said in a severe tone. [When humanity finally joined the Semwick Empire in the 1145th cycle, they abandoned the usage of years and switched to cycles. After that, humanity could stabilize itself, but their history preceding that is full of disasters, endless wars and lost knowledge.]
I listened to her quietly. I was just staring out of my head. The things she told me made my mind numb. Earth wasn't habitable anymore. Humanity lost its past. Everything and everybody I once knew was dead, lost or destroyed.
[Aium… do you want to know what was the last year humanity used before switching to the cycle system?]
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[Why are you asking me? Just tell me!]
[It might upset you, so I wanted to make sure you wanted to know it,] she said. [Thankfully the record was kept. The last year used by humans was the 7211th. If what you told me is true… somehow you appeared around 11839 years later in our future.]
“NOOO, no, no, no, no! This is just a fucking joke! How could this be true? How the fuck would I time travel? It must have been you guys! You surely know time travel by now, but why would you pull through someone like me?! Couldn’t you choose someone else?!”
[Aium, calm down, please! I have no knowledge that there would be any kind of time travel technology. Sending objects through time is possible, but most of the scientists claim, full-fledged time travel is impossible at our current level. It’s one of the banned research topics in the Empire.]
I couldn’t believe it. Well, it was more accurate to say I didn’t want to believe it. I buried my head in my arms as I leaned forward and released a muffled shout into my hands. I wanted to break something, to punch something, to throw something against the wall, but I knew I would regret it later. I had to learn this lesson several times.
“What happened then? How the fuck did I end up on a FUCKING SHIP IN THE FUCKING FUTURE?!” I screamed into the empty room.
[Aium, please! Try to calm down,] she tried worriedly.
“Telling me to calm down is just making me angrier! Worst shit you can tell someone when they are angry!”
[I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you further.]
It’s not her fault… It's not her fault! Shouldn’t shout at the person who’s trying to help you.
After taking a few deep breaths, I managed to cool down a little in order to think clearly. Time travel was undoubtedly among the many ideas I had for the reason of this situation, but Genna confirming it really flipped my switches. I was in the future, and in the FAR future at that.
Honestly… nearly 12 thousand years and they came only this far? One would expect more. I didn’t know what… but… more.
[So, do you have any idea how this could happen?]
[I have a few low probability theories, but they not even worth mentioning. I’d love to give you a clear answer, but I’m unable.]
[What are those low probability theories?]
[Even the most probable ones have less than 1% chance,] she said. [You could have transferred here by a random wormhole’s appearance, or you’ve been kept in cryo-sleep, and someone woke you up for some reason. Even less likely are consciousness transfer cases. It pains me to say this as a being of logic and facts, but the most probable cause of your situation is unknown.]
[Then I guess I’m not going back.]
[I don’t think it’s possible, but I strongly suggest your first priority should be contacting the government. If anyone can answer your questions they’ll be the ones.]
[Pass.]
[This is extremely serious and significant. They have to figure out the cause of this, and we are not even talking about the knowledge you could provide about the lost human history! You could literally give back humanity’s lost past single-handedly!]
[Nope… I refuse. I don’t care. I don’t need more trouble than I already have.] I shook my head.
[Aium, you can’t be serious! You could become a hero of the human race! This isn’t about you; this is about the bigger picture here.]
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[Fuck the bigger picture! What if they think I’m some kind of monster and experiment on me until I’m not functional anymore? What if they cut out my brain so they can squeeze out every last bit of information. What if they lock me up?]
[The world isn’t as dark as you think. I don’t know what kind of world you came from, but this is entirely different. Nobody will hurt you. They’ll celebrate the opportunity you brought to recover something that was lost for thousands of cycles.]
[Look, I’m not unreasonable. I’ll tell you what you want to know, we can spread the information, but I’m not handing myself in. Forget it.]
[Why are your worldviews and even your personality so dark and untrusting?]
[Because that’s how things are where I came from. You can’t trust anybody, and you have to protect yourself and your belongings. No one will help you; no one will take care of you, rather they’ll take advantage of you when you are on the ground because that’s how life is. If you can’t stand up on your own they’ll kick you until you break.] I ended up in a heated rant.
[This… it can’t be true.]
[It’s true whether you believe it or not. I don’t know what kind of paradise you guys live in, but I certainly won’t lay my life into some unknown government's hand just because you THINK it’s safe.] I was still speaking from anger.
[Compared to the world you described, it wouldn’t be wrong to call this one a paradise. We don’t have crime or wars. There are no diseases, nobody starves, no corruption, even rude behavior is considered rare nowadays.]
[How did you manage that? Especially if you don’t have police or something similar.] What she explained sounded unbelievable to me.
[There is no need. People don’t think like you Aium. I’ve noticed how different you are the first minute. You are nothing like the host descriptions told me you would be. People here don’t want to do crimes; they don’t feel jealousy or hatred towards others for no reason. They have a completely different mindset, so there is no need to force them towards a different behavior like your police did I suppose.]
[This sounds creepy. You make it sound like everyone is brainwashed here.] I couldn't hide the ugly expression on my face.
[I think it’s just evolution, genetics, and social and cultural advancement. A lot of time passed, and things clearly changed. Since the foundation of the Empire, regular citizens in the Core Regions are living a peaceful time. Perhaps the human history wasn’t so glorious like some speculate.]
[Oh… you can’t even imagine. I was born in a relatively peaceful era, but let me tell you that in our book of history, every page is soaked in blood,] I sneered.
[Uh… On second thought, it might be worth reconsidering spreading all the information you can provide. If it’s really as dark and bloody as you say, it might cause a lot of unrest.]
[Bah, you don't even know. Let me tell you about a fellow, named Vlad. His nickname was The Impaler because his favorite torture method was imp-]
[PLEASE STOP! I don’t want to know! Ah… too late, I can already figure out what you wanted to say most likely,] she interrupted with a pained voice.
I laughed at her. Ah, it might be fun telling her about the “great” human race’s history after all. I had an evil grin on my face. If they wanted history I could give it to them, but no complaining if it wasn't all wishy-washy kids content.
[So, I ended up in this futuristic paradise, where everyone is a carebear and I have no way back for now.]
[Apparently.]
[It’s not like I can complain. I have a better apartment here, and I get money for doing nothing. I don’t have to go to my job… sorry, my OLD job! Haha! Fuck you, Debra! Wait…. No! NOOOOOOO! I wanted to shit on her desk when I quit! AAAAARGH!]
[You wanted to do what?!] She was stunned.
[You heard nothing carebear…]
[Did I offend my creator for sending me to such a host?] she asked with a pleading voice.
[I heard that! Not nice!]
[I knew you could hear it. Please try to be more cultured!]
[I’m a prehistoric barbarian! Be grateful I’m not running around with a club hauling back women to my cave.]
[... I’m speechless. First of all, that name is shockingly fitting and secondly, was that really a custom in your time?!]
[Nah, but I think it was said to be the preferred flirting technique around the stone age. On the other hand, it might be just a good joke.]
[Please forget I’ve ever said you could restore the past of humanity. Nobody wants to know a history like this! At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if they lost it on purpose. You are not a hero; you are a harbinger of misery!]
[Awww, I appreciate the compliment.] I said to her with the biggest grin I could manage.
I wasn’t angry anymore. Chatting with her helped me calm down more than I expected.
[Genna… Thank you for not calling a strike team on me,] I said with a lowered voice while looking at my feet.
[I’m not even gonna question it, just… You are welcome for whatever you thanked me for,] she said with a small laugh.
Now that we are through with this, maybe I should think up what to do next. A temporary job might be a smart thing, but what can I do here in the future? Ah… Genna will think up something for sure.
I thought she would have an idea of what could have caused all this since… she was an A.I.. I thought one would be far more… omniscient. I could never tell her this though! The one thing making the whole situation so suspicious was that I was on a ship. If I came here due to some random cosmic sneeze, I most likely would have ended up in the vacuum of space. I have a feeling someone did this intentionally or by accident.
My complexion turned awful. I’ve always been unforgiving, but as I got older, I became absolutely vengeful. I knew it wasn't a nice trait to have, but I couldn't help it. I could never forget if someone wronged me. I just couldn’t let things go.
That reminded me of Debra and her missed retribution. She got off easy.
If I ever figure out who fucked with me, I’m going to break his… her… its face for sure… or something else if it doesn’t have a face.
The blonde man’s PoV in the gray lab coat
“Great… now my eye is twitching. Just what I needed.”
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