***The Crystal City***

***Angrod***

The party quieted down after the incident with Elsaria, but none of the guests decided to leave… or should I say that they didn’t dare to leave?

I smile to myself, remembering my discussion with Celes from before the party.

We anticipated that someone could be tempted to pull some kind of trick or to challenge us. There was no question in our minds that showing any kind of weakness would be a grave mistake. It may not have turned into an immediate problem, but the various ambassadors would have remembered and gods have long memories.

We decided together that – if possible – we would react with overwhelming force and show everyone that we are no joke. If wiping out a planet would prevent even one of the other societies from going to war with us, then the sacrifice would be worth it.

There is no telling how many worlds might get caught up in an open war with thousands of deities on each side. I am not as naive as to believe that our battlefields will always be restricted to locations where it is possible to prevent harm to innocents.

The big officials are currently sitting together at a circular table with us and I noticed that Celes is unusually clingy since she came back from putting the children to sleep. She linked arms with me and her right leg is swung above her left, hooking into my knee.

She probably feels bad for the mortals...

“I really can’t get enough of that wine.” Miruliru opens a bottle of wine and starts filling yet another round of glasses with the expensive stuff. “Guys, you really should start exporting this.”

I smile at her, not wanting to think about the sizeable dent this party is creating in the royal palace's wine cellar. Chimera as a whole produces a lot of wine, but this is the high-quality stuff and not easily produced. There are maybe twenty or thirty wineries which are certified to produce a quality of this grade. Distribute their output to a whole world and we aren’t left with much for interdimensional trade – even if we raise the prices to astronomical sums.

I take a sip from my glass and squeeze my wife against me. “So, you are having fun?” I whisper to her.

“Sure, my honey bear!” Celes answers, her voice a little strained.

“Now, that didn't sound very convincing.” Did something happen while she was talking with the other ambassadors? Or is she still pissed that we wiped out a planet, the population included? I admit, it’s nothing to celebrate, but it is quite clear that our long term goals and duties are above the fate of worlds. If we fail, the multiverse could be the price.

Gwalonna stands up to make a speech before Celes can answer me. “I think I speak on behalf of everyone if I express my high hopes for the societies…” She pauses, clearly taking her time to reformulate what she wanted to say. “…who are still with us. May our future be blessed with cooperation, peace, and freedom. Let's reshape the multiverse together and make sure to prevent any harm that might come to us thanks to the Council’s legacy.”

The others nod and we raise our glasses, cheering to a new and hopefully better future.

“Mwaha. Yeah! Right it iiiis! Peace and loooove for everyooone. Childreeen sure have high hooopes. But take goood care of your castle ooof ssannd.”

A drunken female voice comes from beneath our table and causes me to wince. Thinking that I recognize the voice, I slide my chair backwards and take a look at what lies beneath. The view is obstructed by the tablecloth, but I shove it aside.

“LADA! What are you doing down there!?” I ask the deity who lies spread-eagled beneath the table. Several bottles of wine are arranged around her – empty. It reeks as if she bathed in booze and there are stains on her clothes.

“Juuust drinking and bathing in my misery. I aaam one oof theeee oldest beings in tha multaverssse. Buuut doeees aanyoone give shit bout my opinion or needs me? Nope! Theey alll creaaate their sooocieties and roll forward.” Lada waves her glass towards me and spills half of it over the floor. “Whooo neeeds a god of loooove. I willll juust take a look frem the shaedows... on the kids...”

Gods, the woman is wasted! “Lada, have you ever drunk alcohol before?”

“Of course!” She hiccups.

“Come out there, Lada. You sure went down the gutter since I last saw you.” Miruliru climbs under the big table to get Lada out, her small size making it no issue. “We aren’t ignoring you or something like that.”

“No?” Lada raises her eyebrows.

“Course not!” Celes tries to reassure the former Council member. “You are like a kindly old granny to us.”

Lada’s eyes bug out.

“Ah, that wasn’t exactly helpful,” Miruliru comments and takes Lada’s hand. “Come on. You are making a spectacle out of yourself.”

It looks like Miruliru knows Lada, which shouldn’t surprise me. Everyone present should know the former Council member. The fact that Lada is here now is only thanks to the fact that she was the only nice face of the Council.

“BOOZE OFF! Littlee kids looking after grandmothers. It shoullls be tha otha way around!” Lada struggles against Miruliru who had underestimated Lada's drunkenness.

The smaller goddess actually has problems with getting her out.

Celes uses her tail to reach under the table and grabs Miruliru’s ankle, pulling her out in one smooth go while she keeps clinging to Lada.

“Puh! Thanks. Lada you could have helped a little... Lada?” Miruliru softly pats Lada's face but gets no reaction.

“CHRRR...RgRg...ccChRR...” The goddess of Love is lying on her back and snoring like a lumberjack.

“For real?” Chiffre shakes his head while looking down at the goddess in her white toga.

“Looks like we should take a little better care of our predecessors. Who could have known that the great Lada would let herself go like that?” Zanders shakes his head.

“You have to remember that everything she was used to came crumbling down around her, in part because of her own actions. Anyone would feel a little down after an event like that. It should be fine if we give her a proper job – something to make sure that her thoughts are elsewhere. Having nothing to do must have given her too much time to think about her situation,” I give my suggestion to the group of people.

“How about president of the multiverse?” Miruliru suggests with a little bit of sarcasm in her voice, clearly referring to the stunt Elsaria tried to pull on us.

“Oh, maybe not the exact title, but what if we turn her into the Minister of Social Affairs, a person in charge of managing relations between the various societies?” Celes asks with a curious tone.

“Not a bad idea. We may need a neutral person if there should ever arise any disputes between us. Lada would be a perfect candidate.” Gwalonna nods to herself, clearly supporting the idea. “Just to clarify, the job would come without real power because she would be an intermediary between our governments.”

“I like the sound of that. As it stands, we would need someone like that. Such a job is surely a pain in the ass, I doubt that we would be able to rope anyone into it while he or she is sober.” Mawu strokes his chin and looks at the snoring Lada.

Miruliru kneels down and takes Lada's hand to form a thumbs up with it. “Lada says she will do the job.” Then she folds Lada's hands on her chest and covers her with a tablecloth from a nearby table. Then the little goddess looks down at the newly crowned Minister of Social Affairs. “Shouldn't we bring her somewhere where she can sleep?”

The other gods, me included, just look at the loli with pity in our eyes.

“What!?” Miruliru puffs up her cheeks and pouts. “I just wanted to be nice!”

Carne shakes his head, laughing. “It's refreshing to find someone in this circle who is as clueless as you.”

“Heey!” Miruliru complains, showing that she is indeed clueless about drunkards.

Carne only points at the sleeping goddess and decides to share his life's experiences. “Girl, all I can promise you is that if someone is as wasted as her, all you will get for your troubles is a face full of projectile vomit if you try to move her. Just let her be.”

***The Crystal City***

***Rose***

“A toast to our successful mission!” I raise the cup with hard liquor, congratulating my friends to our accomplishments while the royals are busy with entertaining the VIPs. The wine may be good, but I am simply not a wine-person. If I drink, it has to burn down my throat like fire so that I know that I am alive.

Tanja, Sandra, and Iris raise their own glasses to join in. “On our success!”

“And in memory of those lost,” I add and pour the small cup down my throat, enjoying the sensation of eighty percent alcohol with an aftertaste of grape juice. “As soon as I get home, I will throw down my clothes and parade up and down in front of Drem until he can't keep his hands off of me.”

Sandra giggles. “Are you finally going for a second child with your captain of the guard?”

“Hah! I wish!” I pour myself a second cup. “Drem has a stick up his ass! Our firstborn is already almost through grade school and he still can't make up his mind for a second one. I might have to ask Celes for some of her special chocolate and just drug him. How is it going with your little army? Any chances for a second litter?”

“Hahaha...” The bunnykin laughs, dread creeping into her voice. “No. Certainly not. Five at once were more than enough. I am on hold for a few decades. Sven and I have to make sure that the current ones are out of the house before we think about new ones. And my husband wants to advance his career so that he can help our friends in a more official capacity.”

“What is a more official capacity than High General of Chimera's defense forces?” I sip on my cup, raising both eyebrows.

Sandra rolls her eyes. “The idiot wants to prove himself in battle so that the rest of the family recognizes his abilities. I am happy enough if he stays far away from anything remotely dangerous. I wish he would have chosen a less militant path, but his folks practically brainwashed him before I took charge. With both of us serving the nation, we hardly get to see each other or the children. I am just glad that my parents are there to look after them. I wouldn't trust his parents with the kids.”

“Yeah.” Iris sighs while holding onto her glass. “Sadly, having a civilian husband isn't an assurance that he is there when you have some time off. Stephen and Margerie are working on a big project. Everything is top secret; he didn't tell even me, his wife, where he is off to.” She snorts. “And I would really need to have some itches scratched. If he won't pay more attention to me I might as well listen to the next admirer who tries to woo me.”

I curl my lips. “Wouldn't it be better to look after the kids instead?”

She smiles mischievously. “Not to worry. I have more than enough time for them and my father is there for them twenty four seven. He may have made a lot of mistakes in his life, but he is making up for them. Anyway, if I am not vigilant, the first ones will leave the house before I achieve my goal.”

“Your goal?” Tanja coughs.

“To have a whole football team worth of a loving family!” Iris proclaims proudly while swinging her glass of wine. “My childhood was fucked up enough. I'll get back every second of family-life thrice over that I didn't get to have with my parents.”

“One might think that eight brats are enough, or is she already at nine? I failed to keep count,” Tanja mumbles while hiding her mouth behind her glass. “But you are already close to your goal anyway, so why not.”

“Aw,” Iris pokes our ninja-girl in the side. “Don't be so salty. You will find your love sooner or later. It's just a question of time and we have more than enough of that.”

“Yes!” I try to cheer up our eternal bachelor. I knew Tanja since she only reached my chest, so I can only wish her all the success she can get. “Don't worry. It took me long enough to find someone. Some people simply take a little longer.”

“Have you never thought about Gabriel?” Iris asks. “The last thing I heard is that he is also still single and you said you like his looks. I still have his contact. If you wish, I could arrange a date.”

Tanja only smirks at us. “I am happy enough not to bind myself down with babies and family. If I have the need, I pick some pretty hunk of flesh from the street to do the deed. Don't worry, I am happy with the lifestyle of a single and last thing I heard, Gabriel isn't so different from me. His motto is live freely, love freely, and make sure to leave no buns in the oven. Hahahaha!”

Well, that's another way to go through life, so I raise my cup. “To family, and friends!” Then I down another cup, starting to feel the alcohol. “Whee, girls. Make sure to tell me to take a pathway home before I am as wasted as Lada. I would hate to miss Drem when he returns from the palace.”

We continue to drink and talk while watching the party until late in the night. When things start getting strange and people start losing clothes, I decide that it is enough and to go for a tactical retreat.

***The Crystal City***

***Angrod***

Uhhh... I have a headache. My head is going to split. Reaching up, I press my palms against my temples in a fruitless attempt to reign in the little fairies who are mining my brain for dreams with their terrible pickaxes.

I turn my head ever so slowly to take a look at the battlefield which remained of the previous night.

It appears that I am still in the party hall, though my memories are a little hazy after Carne decided to prove that he could make an unaided handstand on two bottles of wine – no magic for assistance.

I am lying on top of the bar with Celes snoozing on top of me. She is using me as a body pillow, one bare leg hooked into mine while snoring loudly enough to wake up the dead. I am tempted to reach down and squeeze her butt… and other parts… but I bet she wouldn’t appreciate me doing that in public.

Well, maybe her snores won’t awaken all the dead. Mawu is lying on his belly, face down in a pool of booze. He apparently fell on the same spot where the booze ended him and moved no more.

Lada is wrapped up in her tablecloth like a pupa and hanging heels over head from the ceiling – also sleeping the sleep of the just. Just who decided to put her up there?

I tilt my head, trying to take in more of the chaos we created once the alcohol took care of inhibitions and adult reasoning.

Someone stacked up all the tables and chairs in order to create two small but still impressive castles on either side of the room, leaving the rest of the hall clean of furniture. Broken pieces of glass are lying concentrated around both improvised castles, giving me the impression that making the furniture and most tableware out of Mana Crystal was a good idea.

Miruliru is hanging at a height of two metres from the leg of an overturned table which is part of her castle’s wall. Beneath her is a puddle which I don’t want to inspect any closer.

The other castle has a crumbled wall and I see a mechanical arm peeking out from under another overturned table which looks like Chiffre’s... but then I find Chiffre – metal arm missing – dangling from the candelabrum in the centre of the room.

Zanders and Gwalonna are lying together on the floor, hugging each other in a compromising position much alike to Celes and me.

“What the…” I croak, realizing that my throat is dry and raw. “…happened?”

I try to get up but the dizziness and Celes's weight stop me. Another problem is that, aside from headaches, everything is spinning.

Shit. I will never drink that wine again. At least not bottles worth of it.

“What the fuuuuck happened here?” Someone has the exact same thought as myself.

The voice draws my attention and I turn my head, finding Carne at the entrance to the hall. He takes another step into the room, raising his foot high to get past a wiped out Tanja who is cradling someone in her bosom. Sadly, I can’t recognize who got the honour of such a resting place.

Carne makes his way across the room, avoiding more alcohol corpses. He pokes someone who is resting with his upper body against a furniture castle’s wall in the cheek, and the man slides down to the side without so much as a twitch.

“Hey…” I weakly wave to him and he comes my direction.

Carne doesn’t look his best either with bloodshot eyes and a pale complexion, but it appears like he left the party before the shit hit the fan... at least it looks like the shit hit the fan. I actually don't remember how things got to be as they are.

“Looks like doing four girls at the same time is a little exhausting,” I joke, figuring that his harem decided to drag him off before the alcohol could prevent him from performing a man’s duty.

“You guys know how to throw a party. If I hadn't been busy with my whole entourage, I would have had a great night here! And me missing out on the party is your fault!” he complains and points an accusing finger right in my face.

‘Whip!’

“Ow!”

A sudden slash of Celes's tail hit Carne right on the back of his hand where it hurts the most, causing him to jump a step back and yelp.

I can't help but grin at him.

“Get your wife off of you and we will talk about this like real men! It will be a small miracle if I dodged the bullet with at least one of them!” He waves a fist at me but underestimates yet again the reach of Celes's tail.

‘Whip!’

“Fuck!” He jumps another step back, shaking his hand.

I start laughing at him. “Mwahaha! Never underestimate the automatic defenc-”

My moment of schadenfreude is interrupted when my wife’s arms close around me, squeezing the life out of me.

“Mmmine! Munha...” Celes hugs me tighter and the grin leaves my face as my bones start to give off a worrisome crunching sound.

Now it is Carne's turn to grin, but voices from beyond the entrance draw our attention.

“Caaarnee?”

“Deaaaar?”

“Maybe the hall?”

“Carne, you can't run away from your duties!”

Carne's expression turns haunted and he quickly faces the entrance and then turns back towards me. “We will speak about this later!” Again, he jabs a finger towards me.

‘Whip!’

“FFF-!”

This guy is surprisingly resistant to learning by experience...

He finally reacts to the closing footsteps and turns towards the windows, running.

“Wa-”

I try to warn him, but it is already too late and Carne crashes headfirst into the window, knocking himself out.

“-it!”

Damn idiot! Those windows are made out of Mana Crystal just like everything else in this tower. He must have been more affected by the party than I thought.

Seconds later, four lightly dressed girls become visible through the entrance, bobbing and bouncing like goddesses out of some really dirty fantasy. Daaamn... if my current state wouldn't prevent me from sitting up... I wouldn't give a damn about spectators after such a sight.

I hold very still to avoid scaring the scantily clad beauties away, trying to remember every moment. I mean... I have Celes... but nobody says that I can't have a dirty fantasy while doing her. Or two. Or three... no better four!

“Did you hear that?” The first enters the room, sniffing the air.

“Must have been him! There he is!” Number two follows, holding some sort of tracking device. “Told you that it’s a good idea to chip him, Silicia's nose aside. The poor boy would be lost without us.”

“Get him!” number three orders the others. “And stop talking about him like that. What if he hears? You know his complexes about male superiority. I swear, if any of you sets him off I won’t be the one who strokes his ego back into shape until he can perform again. It takes years to train an Emperor.”

I had a feeling that she is the true leader of Carne’s group… and why does it sound as if they are regarding him as some kind of pet?

“Daaarling! Oh, no. He hurt himself,” number four dotes on her man while One and Two pick him up, restoring my faith in female-kind. “Ah, that’s going to be a bruise.” She sighs. “I told you guys that we should have chosen someone with a little more brains.”

The others turn on her in unison. “We need no brains, just brawn.”

They quickly retreat with their prize, leaving me with the impression that I just witnessed something that shouldn't have been seen or witnessed by any member of man-kind.

I think that I fare better by sticking to Celes.