Not long after Tori fled the building, Mina began to slowly wipe down the counter with a damp rag. Upon finishing that she went over all the paperwork from the day, mostly logs of who was taking what quest from what I could tell, and when she decided it was satisfactory, placed it in a locked box beneath the counter. She stretched for a long and well deserved minute before grabbing a notebook plus the five low-quality flowers the entitled adventurer had dropped off and walking out from behind the counter.

Mina crouched down in front of me, meeting my eye level and scratching behind my ears. “Alright Cat, I can’t just keep calling you Cat in my head. Or out loud, considering I literally just called you it. So, I have decided that I’ll name you Soot.” She said, I had kind of expected there to be more fanfare with her naming me, felt like a big deal but oh well. I suppose I’m Soot now. Not like I could complain in a way she’d understand.

“Ugh, that day took forEVER! It just went on and on and the adventurers were all assholes.” She complained as she swiftly picked me up, snatching me out of my beloved warm blanket and sunbeam. I gave a small meow of protest, which, of course, was completely ignored by the cruel and uncaring Mina. She walked up the stairs to her room, entered it, placed me down on the table from earlier, and flopped onto the bed with an exhausted sigh. She didn’t move beyond fidgeting a bit to get comfortable, instead savoring the ability to lie face down in her pillows and blankets and do absolutely nothing for the first time all day. As an expert on doing that, I approved of the choice, although personally I would have changed out of the guild receptionist uniform if I was her.

If Mina was going to sleep for a bit, I might as well use this newfound free time to do something productive. Sure I had had free time all day and had just sat on a blanket in the sun while getting pet by assorted adventurers, but that wasn’t really free since I had to spend so much of it eavesdropping and judging random people. It was harsh and bitter work, really.

However straining it had been, I was free of it for now, so I decided to try out something I’d been meaning to for a while. Both Radia and Mina had now mentioned a ‘status’ that one could bring up by focusing on it? That sounded like a rather important thing to know, but how was I supposed to focus on it? Was I supposed to simply concentrate on the word status? I began to do that, couldn’t hurt to try after all, and a long, scrolling blue window popped up in front of my eyes.

Name

Soot

Level

1

Race

Sintiman Shorthair Cat (Black)

Class

None

Title

None (Selection Available)

Health

35/40

Mana

10/10

Skills

Insight (2), Pathetic (1), Automatic Translation

Spells

None

Buffs

Well Rested

Debuffs

Unfamiliar Body, Impaired Movement

Alright, that’s sorted out then. Now, what did all this mean? Name was obvious enough, although it’s a bit off putting that it says Soot and not my name from when I was human. Level 1 was disappointing, but not unexpected given how I’d done nothing that could increase it. Race was the species of cat I was, I guess. No class makes sense, but the space there implies that I could get one eventually. Do cats have their own classes? Or would I have to do a regular class like mage while also being a cat? My title was blank but it said there was a selection available, I’d look at that in a bit. Health was probably down because of my injured paw. Mana had to be full since I don’t know how to spend it. Skills were thankfully straightforward as well; I knew I had level 2 Insight and level 1 Pathetic, and I guess I got the Automatic Translation skill when I came here? It’s not likely that everyone just happened to speak the same language as me. I didn’t know any spells, which I guess are different from skills somehow. Well Rested buff because I’d been sleeping all day. Unfamiliar Body debuff makes sense, I’m still quite new to having four legs. Finally, Impaired movement, which was almost certainly because of my tightly bandaged paw. All of the menu checked out, this thing was accurate.

I made sure there were no other rows in the table I was missing before scrolling back up to the Titles section, might as well check out the ones I had available. I mentally prompted the status menu to show me the selection, the concept of controlling a menu with my mind still feeling quite odd.

Available Titles

Method of Acquisition

“Chosen One”

Chosen by a god or goddess to end a great conflict in the world.

“World Crosser”

Traveled the rift between two separate worlds.

“Defier of Death”

Passed away, yet managed to come back.

“Blessed by The Light”

Given a great gift by the goddess Radia.

“Scorned by The Light”

Angered and annoyed the goddess Radia.

“Defier of Gods”

Insulted or challenged a godly figure and survived.

“Petty Thief”

Stole something.

“Cat Burglar”

Stole something while also being a cat.

“Pacifist”

Refrain from inflicting any harm upon others. Title can be lost.

“The Pathetic”

Gained the Pathetic skill.

“The Nosy”

Used the Insight skill on multiple people in a short period of time.

“The Judgemental”

Judged many people behind their backs.

“Freeloader”

Survived on another’s kindness and offered nothing back.

“Bystander”

Watched as someone was wronged, and did nothing.

Well… the first few sounded cool at least. Unfortunately, the drop from “Defier of Death” to “Pacifist” to “Freeloader” was pretty quick, and it seemed I had more titles that insulted me than titles that could actually function as, well, titles. “Petty Thief” and “Cat Burglar'' I couldn't complain about, I had stolen that bread from the baker after all. “Pacifist” and “Pathetic” were also based on facts I couldn’t reasonably argue with, but the other titles were all biased and needlessly rude.

First off on the impolite names list, “The Nosy.” I wasn’t nosy for using insight to see the private details of every adventurer who walked into the guild, I was simply leveling up the skill in an efficient manner while also gathering valuable information on how the world worked. Similarly, I wasn’t being judgemental, but in actuality I was… yeah I was being judgy now that I think about it, but they all deserved it and it didn’t hurt anyone, so shut up, status menu. I wasn’t a “Freeloader” either, Mina may have brought me in here and given me a place to live purely out of the kindness of her heart, but I was constantly gifting her with my presence, so we were even.

Finally, the last of the titles, there was “Bystander”. I probably got this while Mina fought with the asshole flower gathering guy, seeing as I did nothing to help. I admit, I felt really bad for her for putting up with customers like that, but what could I actually do to stop that? I was just a cat, I couldn’t tell them off or fight them. Even swiping at them aggressively wouldn’t do much, and even if it did, Mina’s parents were only letting me stay here if I didn’t cause trouble. I’d figure something out for that problem later, provided I remembered to. For now though, I still had to pick a title.

The titles that just directly insulted me were off the table, obviously. I’m not about to label myself as pathetic to the whole world. But then, if I used one of the cooler titles, it might give me away as the hero that was supposed to arrive and didn’t–I doubt many cats had the “World Crosser” title, after all–and that might not end well. What if the church forces me to fight? What if I go to jail for fleeing? How would I sit on a counter all day doing nothing if I had to end a war?

So, I had to choose between sounding cool or being sensible and safe.

Title has been set to “Defier of Gods.”

Regret was a thing for future me to deal with. I liked how this title sounded, and it was one I truly earned. I didn’t do much to get those other cool titles, I just existed and they came to me through various circumstances. Sure, this was one of the riskier names to choose, but who was going to use Insight on a random cat, and so what if they do? Then I could just switch my title back to “Freeloader” or something. Who’s gonna listen to them anyway, huh? Yeah sure, made up hypothetical person, everyone is going to totally believe that some cat fought god. It was the perfect plan.

Closing the status menu, I looked over at Mina who was reluctantly and slowly getting out of her bed and walking towards the table I was lying on. Hopefully she would have a fun reaction to my new title.