《Small Chests Are Fine Too》Crusade 3
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Kadam, Kragiel and their shiny golem overlord were walking down yet another tunnel. This was technically their third ‘day’ of travel, though according to Fizzy’s internal clock it hadn’t even been 48 hours since they departed from the ruins of Cavewater. It would appear that, without sunlight dictating their lives, the stoneborn had adapted to a somewhat awkward eighteen hour work/rest cycle. They still spent about a third of their time sleeping like people on the surface, but the frequency with which they did so was a bit weird from Fizzy’s perspective.
Then again, she was a golem that didn’t need to sleep at all, so she hardly had the right to criticize the stoneborn civilization’s way of life. She was just used to the biological clocks of surfacers, so it took some getting used to having her guides stop to rest more often than what she was expecting.
There was a bright side to this, though, as Nurnenberg seemed to be sending Kragiel some rather questionable dreams. For instance, the first ‘night’ after being made a Paladin, she dreamt of riding whales in an ocean of angry bees. The second one, from which she awoke no more than two hours ago, was arguably even weirder. It involved an endless green meadow, a sunny midsummer sky, and a giant crab with a monocle and a top hat who kept pinching her buttocks while calling her ‘M’lady.’
It was doubtless the Goddess of Gambling was the one doing this, as the only thing in those borderline nightmares that was even remotely familiar to Kragiel was the crab. Having lived below ground her entire life, she had never seen bees, oceans, whales, or grass, let alone the sun. She would still be ignorant about them if Fizzy didn’t explain those things to her. There was simply no way that imagery was coming from her own subconscious, which made Stefan the chief suspect. She was naturally quite upset at having all those bizarre visions forced upon her, but it was only at first. Once the initial shock wore off, she actually found the sheer absurdity of those dreams to be rather entertaining. Amusing, even.
Which was a good indication as any that Kragiel would make a great Champion of Chaos after all, just as Fizzy had guessed.
“So, uh, will those dreams ever stop?”
However, it would appear the woman herself still hadn’t completely come to terms with her new circumstances.
“I wouldn’t know,” was the senior Paladin’s curt answer. “I’m a golem, remember?”
“Oh, right. You don’t know what it’s like to fall asleep.”
Admittedly there was a period of time when Fizzy was a meatbag Paladin, but she didn’t have the opportunity to dream back then. Even getting a full night’s rest was a luxury.
“I’m guessing Terence will stop when he gets bored of messing with you, though. Which probably won’t be anytime soon considering the wonderful reactions you’re giving him.”
“Wait, let me get this straight,” chimed in Kadam from the front. “This deity of yours apparently has nothing better to do than play pranks on his followers?”
“Something like that,” answered Fizzy. “It’s more the case of he gets bored easily, so he relies on mortals for entertainment.”
“That seems… rather irresponsible,” noted Kragiel with concern plastered all over her face.
“Not really. He’s typically a very ‘hands-off’ sort of God, not the type of fellow that would ruin a mortal’s life on a whim. It’s just not something he does… except when it is.”
“Oh. Great. That’s certainly reassuring,” groaned the rookie Paladin. “That’s a top tier deity you have there.”
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“Eh, Gilligan has his ups and downs, but he’s the fairest and most unbiased of the Gods. He’s a bit mischievous, but he doesn’t play favorites, nor does he discriminate. At least nowhere near the level of someone like Teresa.”
“That’s the, uh, Goddess of Honesty, right?”
“Truth and Justice, Kadam. Not Honesty.”
“Same thing, isn’t it?”
“You’d think, but no. Truth is absolute, honesty is more subjective. It’s a subtle difference, but details like those are important when it comes to religion. Especially Taboos.”
Having nothing better to talk about on this trip, any conversations between the stoneborn siblings and Fizzy somehow ended up on the subject of the gods. So far the pint-sized Paladin had explained the nature of each of the nine divines, including the virtues they embodied and the acts they considered Taboo. Surprisingly enough, stoneborn society had supposedly outlawed many of those things, such as the practice of necromancy, the use of curse magic or the transmutation of precious metals. These ancient decrees hinted that someone had taken deliberate steps to turn the stoneborn into a monotheistic people, though their reasons and identity were unknown to these three.
“Say, you met with the Nemesis, right?” spoke up Kragiel. “Does she have any Taboo on her?”
“Uh, that’s a tricky question,” said Fizzy while furrowing her brows. “I don’t think I met her in person, so I can’t say with absolute certainty. However, the way she recklessly flaunts that ‘radiashun’ of hers has surely pissed off Zephyra at the very least.”
“Radi-what?”
“It’s the, uh, poison she spreads around.”
“You mean the Mega-Blight?” asked Kadam.
“… Mega-Blight?”
“Yeah. You’re talking about the glowy stuff that just sort of kills you after a few days if you don’t get it treated? That’s what we call it.”
“I see…”
Fizzy cupped her chin as she fell into thought. The fact that Kadam had said ‘treated’ was rather interesting. It suggested the stoneborn had a way of dealing with Katya’s nuclear fallout, which made a good deal of sense. Otherwise the otherworlder would have already killed them off. That stuff was nasty. Kadam’s accidental revelation presented a rather interesting opportunity.
The golem couldn’t help but notice that the invisible poison known as radiation shared a lot of similarities with the Rift - the swirling death cloud left behind by the Calamity of Monotal. The greatest minds of the Lodrak Empire were still struggling to contain that slowly growing disaster, which threatened to swallow up the entirety of the surrounding Cradle Valley. She may have been only tangentially related to that event, but she still kept an ear out for any news regarding that topic during her time in Azurvale.
That was how she knew the effects the Rift had on living things, and had even heard something about a joint Empire-Republic effort to subdue the Rift being in the works. It was mostly a political move to get the two nations to ‘kiss and make up,’ but it still showed the humans were incapable of solving the crisis by themselves. Meaning that, if the stoneborn anti-radiation remedy could be used to subdue aftermath of the Calamity, the humans would surely leap at the chance to obtain it.
And if the one who presented them with this miraculous solution just so happened to be a highly unscrupulous individual, they stood to reap profits so filthy that Mortimer himself would want to take a shower.
“Yeah… That’d make a good souvenir…” mumbled Fizzy with a smile on her face.
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“Sorry, what?” asked Kragiel.
“Oh, nothing. Just thinking about how your people will repay me after I’m done bashing Katya’s brains out.”
“Heh,” chuckled the stoneborn. “Well, if you actually do manage to get rid of our Nemesis problem, then my bosses would be more than happy to listen to your demands.”
“They’d better, if they know what’s good for them.”
Frankly speaking, the more Fizzy heard about the so called ‘noble caste,’ the more she distrusted them. It didn’t matter the time, place, or culture, the aristocracy abusing their wealth, power and influence at the expense of the common folk was something of a universal constant. There was no reason to believe these stoneborn nobles would be any different. Especially since it sounded a lot like they were the ones actively keeping their nation isolated from the outside world. Set in their ways as they were, there was no way they’d be happy to owe an ‘outsider’ anything.
Therefore, it was highly likely that Fizzy would have to bust some heads - be it metaphorically or literally - if she wanted to get her way, but she would vaporize that bridge when she got to it.
“Seems like we’re going to arrive earlier than expected,” noted the golem.
“That’s right,” confirmed Kadam. “Having you around to act as a bodyguard helped us make good time.”
The Stonesinger had originally estimated it would have taken another full stoneborn day to get to their destination, but that was assuming they were travelling carefully. However, since Fizzy could easily flatten any monsters that their passage attracted, the trio was able to move at a much more rapid pace than anticipated.
“We should have eyes on the base’s perimeter defenses within the hour,” added the guide.
“Glad to see you weren’t stupid enough to follow in your sister’s footsteps after all.”
“Hahaha! I’ll take that as a compliment!”
“… How’d you know we were closing in on the Nemesis's territory?” asked Kragiel.
Fizzy raised her left hand in the air and activated her magnetic abilities, prompting dozens of metallic shards to fly out of the ground, walls and ceiling around them. Spent shell casings, shattered bullets and mechanical remnants alike converged on her fist, covering it completely in rusted scrap. The golem then released her Skills, allowing the assorted junk to fall to the ground with a loud rattle.
“Lucky guess.”
“Oh…”
The trio continued forward more carefully, with Kadam stopping to check their surroundings via Vibrolocaton every hundred meters or so. The goal was to avoid any mechanized patrols, as they would raise the alarm and put the base on high alert. Fizzy then pointed out that Katya’s scouts and patrols consisted primarily of flying drones. They didn’t touch the ground and would therefore not show up on his ‘sonar’ at all, so meaning that the Stonesinger was just wasting their collective time.
Disagreements over ‘necessary level of caution’ aside, the trio failed to run into any of Katya’s automata, be they flying or otherwise until they reached her mining facility. The trio ended up being huddled behind an outcropping of rocks at the edge of another underground cavern. This particular space, however, hadn’t been formed by the magic of the stoneborn, the persistence of shardlings or the ceaseless march of time.
It was the product of the ceaseless march of industry.
Hundreds, possibly thousands of ant-like robots endlessly picked away at the stone and rock, producing a near-deafening din. They had drills for mandibles and steel frames that had scratched up and partially rusted over after decades of digging. Yet despite looking positively ancient and superbly well-worn, they still crawled over and around each other with optimal efficiency. They poured in and out of the massive rectangular facility that stood at the center of this sea of clanking and grinding, no doubt delivering whatever metals and minerals they had managed to gather. Once insides, the raw materials were likely being processed and refined, if the smoke billowing out of that gigantic steel box was any indication.
Those worker drones were hardly the only ones around, though. Bishops buzzed endlessly overhead and Pawns in sleep mode were littered throughout the area. None of them seemed to have noticed the intruders, but the three would not remain hidden for long. Especially considering that a certain golem among them was the living antithesis of stealth and subtlety.
“Well… here we are, Fizzy,” shout-whispered Kadam. “What will you do now?”
He had initially thought that the golem would surely stand a chance if she were to assault that fortress by her lonesome. After all, it was hard not to hold certain expectations after she so splendidly smashed that borewyrm into a pulp. But now that he had seen the enemy for himself, he couldn’t help but have doubts regarding her chances.
“Now I get to see what this body of mine can really do!”
However, Fizzy herself clearly did not share his skepticism nor his hesitation as she boldly strode out of her concealed position and towards the enemy swarm. It was painfully obvious she was going in for a frontal assault, which made the color drain out of Kadam’s face.
“Are you insane?!” he shouted after her. “There’s gotta be over a thousand of those things - probably just as many inside!”
The golem stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder with a cocky grin.
“I still have them outnumbered.”
She then sped off down the rocky slope, hoop-like wrench in hand. The two siblings could do little but watch her charge forward. Kragiel was almost about to comment how she was just ‘going home’ and there wouldn’t be any actual fighting, but what happened next left her speechless.
Several blinding spotlights suddenly shone on Fizzy as the facility’s automated defenses picked her up. All at once the robotic horde came to a complete and total halt. For several breath-taking seconds, the only sound that could be heard was that of the crashing of the golem’s footsteps. Then, just as suddenly as they had stopped, the mechanized dolls started moving again. The non-combat drones retreated into their ‘hive’ to get them out of the way while hundreds of Pawns poured out of it at the same time and the ones strewn around the area sprang to life.
They then opened fire upon Fizzy all at once, showering her in a hail of gunfire. There were far too many projectiles for her to dodge, so she didn’t even bother. The golem lifted her shield in front of her face and just kept charging in a straight line. She rapidly closed the gap between herself and the enemy as bullets pinged harmlessly off her armored frame as her Engine of Destruction revved up.
The dynamo golem then crashed into the enemy’s front lines like a drunken troll in a potion store. Despite the Pawns having the size advantage, three of them were trampled beneath her while four more were sent flying from the force of the impact. She swung her wrench sideways, bending one of them in two and sending it flying into its allies. Using the moment of her attack, she flung her weapon at the next target, burying it deep in its chestplate.
“Parallel Two!”
Plus and Minus joined in the fray immediately afterwards. The bullets raining down on Fizzy from all sides came to an abrupt stop as the younger Parallel flexed the golem’s Geomagnetic Grip and ‘grabbed’ them all. Her elder sister then healed the Paladin, restoring what HP had been shaved off during the approach. The ever-growing field of magnetically suspended bullets started spinning around at great speed, creating a veritable tornado of lead.
It was a feat that demanded one’s utmost attention and focus, hence why it was impossible for Fizzy to pull it off by herself in the middle of a fight. But, as things stood, Minus had a good handle on things, which she demonstrated by unleashing an omnidirectional ‘push’ courtesy of Magnetize. Having gained a good enough of momentum already, the bullet storm surrounding her golem spread out in all directions, peppering the Pawns with their own munitions. Granted, it was no match for actual gunfire, but it was good enough if the numerous exploding robots were any indication.
Minus then shifted her focus towards the Iron Teeth, pulling it out of the robot wreckage that surrounded her. The wrench hovered faithfully by the golem’s side, ready to smite anything that was within range. Which, considering the fact that Fizzy was already moving towards the next group of enemies, would be Katya’s combat drones. The Paladin smashed into them, using her bare hands to fold, tear and otherwise decimate the machine soldiers. Minus kept swinging her magnetized wrench around, clearing out those that were too far for the Fizzy’s fists or too close for her Magitech Cannon.
The stoneborn siblings could do little but stare slack-jawed at the golem’s rampage. This was nothing like the desperate struggle it seemed like it would be at the start. In fact, the pint-sized Paladin had so much leeway that she repeatedly took the opportunity to grab onto a Pawn, electrify it, and then fling it at a group of them, resulting in a series of explosions. Looking at it from afar, it was almost like she was more concerned with having fun rather than coming out on top. No, there was no way that wasn’t the case considering her brilliant smile could be seen all the way from their vantage point. Those mechanized dolls stood so little chance to actually harm her that they were rapidly beginning to understand the last words Fizzy said to them. Not even the flying ones were spared as she pulled them out of the sky or flung burning debris at them.
However, although this unstoppable rampage looked like the work of a single individual, it was actually the combined effort of three beings inhabiting the same shell. Fizzy piloted the body, Minus managed the magnetism and Plus kept them in one piece through holy magic. They even seemed to swap places from time to time, as the golem’s movements would abruptly, yet subtly change. A fact that did not escape Kragiel’s experienced eyesight, augmented as it was by her Champion of Chaos Skill. Although still low in Level, it allowed her glimpses at the golem’s immediate future, and how she was actively avoiding the worst of the enemy’s attempts to damage her.
She shuddered to think what would’ve happened if an unstoppable monster like that were to turn its sights on her home. Indeed, the fact that the golem-shaped disaster had been turned against her former boss was nothing short of a miracle. It was a lucky break the likes of which she had never seen before, and the joy and relief of this realization made her unable to just stand still and watch. Which was why she fell to her knees, clasped her hands, closed her eyes, and then offered a sincere prayer of gratitude to Barbara, the Goddess of Happenstance.
It was honestly a bit scary how natural the whole thing happened considering it was her first time praying, but she wasn’t about to complain about it.
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