“Ah, yes! Hello, there!”

A distorted, tinny, crackling, and yet undeniably cheerful male voice drifted out of the tunnel in front of Fizzy. Its owner emerged shortly afterwards, revealing to the battle-ready golem that it was an unarmed automaton. It was about the size of a human and had the same overall shape, although nobody in their right mind would mistake it for a person. Its body was very clearly that of a mechanized doll, what with its ball-like joints and skeleton-like construction. It had pipes for bones, wires for veins, springs and hydraulics for muscles and what was essentially a bucket for a head. It had no face to speak of, save for the two circular lenses where the eyes would normally be and a thin vertical slot instead of a mouth.

And yet the thing that struck Fizzy as the oddest was the black top hat on its shiny dome. She didn’t particularly mind the rest of it. In fact, being able to see part of the inner workings of an automaton was quite pleasing to her. Attractive, even. The soft tick-tocking of its clockwork heart also reminded her rather fondly of the city of Dragunov and the ‘music’ that permeated its streets.

But seriously, what was the deal with the top hat?

“I say,” it called out to her, “did you not hear me?”

“Uh… Hi?” answered the stupefied golem. “I can hear you just fine.”

“Oh, jolly good!” exclaimed the doll while clapping its hands. “Ah, I apologize for my crass manners. My designation is J-035-S, but you may call me ‘Jeeves.’ At your service.”

The automaton finished its self introduction with a grand bow and a flourish of its hand.

“… Okay?”

“May I inquire as to madam’s noble name?”

“It’s Fizzy. Fizzy Rustblood.”

“Excellent! Well then, Fizzy Rustblood, would you be so kind as to follow me? The lady of the house has been expecting you for quite a while now.”

“Did… did it just say our name with our own voice?” asked Plus.

Indeed, rather than using its own synthesized tone to refer to her, this thing called Jeeves had sounded out what sounded like a recording of the golem’s own words. It was a little jarring, but nothing Fizzy couldn’t look past. Imitation was the highest form of flattery, after all.

“Sure. I guess I got nothing better to do,” she said with a shrug.

“Hah-ha! Quite so! Nothing is more important than the wishes of my mistress, after all! I have a feeling you and I will get along just fine, Fizzy Rustblood!”

“Okay. Time out,” butted in Plus. “This thing is officially giving me the creeps now.”

I know, but what choice do we have? responded Fizzy.

“Smash it up and go on our merry way?”

You do realize this ‘mistress’ is probably the Original Artificer herself, right?

“Yeah? So?”

So if anyone has a way out of this place, it has to be her. Not to mention we still need to bring something with us to impress the Ritz, especially after that Vault thing.

“Fair enough. I guess I won’t complain if you judge it’s worth the risk. Just keep in mind she nearly blew us up, yeah?”

Duly noted.

With that internal discussion out of the way, Fizzy followed Jeeves into the tunnel he came out of. The automaton walked at a steady pace, though its stiff motions were like a poor parody of an actual human being’s movements. It still handled the uneven terrain rather well though, which was more than could be said about the bipedal automata the golem had seen in the city of Dragunov. Those things had a habit of tripping over the smallest thing, whereas this one was able to step over and around any rocks, bumps or other hazards in its path without even slowing its gait.

Fizzy kept following the brass doll for a few more minutes until they arrived at a vehicle of some kind resting on top of yet more mine tracks. It looked like a steel slug that was about a meter and a half in height and width and twice as long. It was also in a much better condition than the tracks it rested on. The doors on either side of it swung upward when Jeeves approached to reveal a pair of metal seats inside it. The golem climbed into the vehicle and strapped herself in by following the automaton’s instructions. The doll itself then followed suit by taking the other seat, though it had to fold its limbs in order to fit into the relatively small cabin.

With both passengers securely inside, the doors closed and locked themselves. The slug-train’s engine then roared mightily as it began to pick up speed, taking Fizzy further and further away from that magma flow she just traversed. The golem tried talking to her guide, but Jeeves didn’t answer any of her queries. She gave up on striking up a conversation and focused her attention towards the vehicle itself. She began inspecting it with her Metallopathy, and was rather taken aback when she perceived its reciprocating piston engine. It was a design that looked neither elegant nor efficient, but the amount of rotational force it produced was quite extraordinary.

She didn’t have enough time to completely grasp and comprehend its construction though. Unlike the mag-rail’s magnetic drive system, this thing was completely foreign to her. It had far too many moving parts and quite a few non-metallic components for her to learn anything about it like this. Not to mention that she had literal days to study the mag-rail, whereas this particular joyride only lasted about two hours.

“And here we are!” declared Jeeves as the two-seater train ground to a halt.

“Here… where?”

The solid-steel vehicle did not have windows or anything of the like, so Fizzy was quite unsure as to what awaited her outside. However, Jeeves once again ignored her query and stood perfectly still while a small whirring noise drifted out of him. Several seconds later, there was a loud click as a small white card popped halfway out of its mouth-slot. He pulled it out and handed it to the golem, who ended up accepting it almost on reflex. It appeared to be made out of some form of resin, aside from the square metallic circuit board embedded in its middle.

“What’s this?”

“This is an IFF token. I strongly suggest hanging onto it. Wouldn’t want the automated defenses to open fire on our guests, now, would we?”

“I suppose not.”

“Please do not expose the device to any magnetic fields, electric currents, lightning bolts, teleportation, size alteration, transmutation, alchemical solutions or caustic elements. Failure to do so could damage the device and cause it to break down completely or malfunction. The Engineer’s Guild holds no responsibility for any injury, dismemberment, hair loss, permanent blindness, rectal bleeding, or death that may occur as a result of improper maintenance and/or use of this device. Please refer to the provided manual for the full terms and conditions.”

“…”

There were several seconds of silence as Fizzy looked over the piece of fake paper in her hands. It certainly didn’t seem like the ancient weapon of terrible power this bucket of bolts was making it out to be. She was able to relax somewhat when she remembered the one telling her all this stuff was not actually a person, just a machine following its programming. Meaning that she was just given some sort of blanket statement that could apply to every Artificer invention ever.

“Rectal bleeding?” exclaimed Plus in an incredulous tone. “Really?”

I don’t know, and I’m not going to ask.

Although the automaton had ignored almost all of her questions, the golem had a feeling that that particular query would probably get an answer she most definitely did not want to hear.

“Right. No zapping the card. Got it,” she said with a nod.

“Very good! Now then, let us proceed. Mistress is quite eager to see you!”

The vehicle’s doors swung open on their own, allowing Fizzy to climb out of it. She found herself standing in a cavernous mining tunnel much like before, except this time she was at the end of it. A massive wall of supersteel stood in front of her, flanked on either side by a total of six heavily armed automata. They looked eerily similar to the tri-legged ones Fizzy faced in the Vault, but were much sleeker and appeared to be far more agile. It was quite literally like comparing a prototype to the finished product.

“Good day, chaps! How goes the guarding?”

The mobile weapon platforms completely ignored Jeeves and focused their attention on the golem next to it. The red lights coming out of the front of their dome-like heads scanned over her, but stopped paying her any mind once they noticed the card in her hand. There was a loud clang coming from the wall behind them, and a rectangular section of it opened up as if it were a drawbridge. It crashed against the ground with a heavy gong, forming a sort of access ramp.

Fizzy followed Jeeves through the opening, and was left speechless at what lay on the other side. It was a massive, open space that must have been at least ten meters tall and maybe five times as wide.The ceiling was dotted with massive lights that bathed the area in a sterile white. The walls were covered by panels upon glowing screens upon metal piping upon dangling wires. They also had countless access hatches and glowing tunnels dotting them to the point where they looked structurally unsound. The floor was made up of metal plates with special tracks and grooves in them to facilitate different methods of transportation.

Yet despite all this, it was the airspace inside this facility were undoubtedly the busiest.

Countless conveyor belts were suspended from the ceiling. Each of them were transporting half-finished parts across an assembly line where mechanical arms added a spot weld here or a tiny component there. A swarm of flying drones using twin rotor blades for propulsion darted all over the place, performing basic maintenance on every conceivable surface and object. Dozens or possibly even hundreds of armed automata of various makes and sizes patrolled the floor, walls and air, ever vigilant and ready to repel intruders at a moment’s notice.

And then there was the noise. Sweet Craig that noise. Fizzing, whirring, clunking, clicking and rattling poured down on Fizzy from all sides. If the clockwork heartbeat of the city of Dragunov was like a soothing tune, then the din of this place was like an orchestral symphony. Overwhelmed by the sights and sounds around her, the golem barely even realized she was being led into some sort of glass room lined with metal piping.

“-mination cycle will now begin. Stand still, please.”

At least not until she suddenly realized that Jeeves had been talking to her for a while now.

“… I’m sorry, what?”

When she snapped back to reality, she found herself locked inside the chamber in question with her automaton guide waving at her from just outside it. She didn’t even get a chance to question it further before she was suddenly sprayed with some water-like fluid from faucets lining the floor and ceiling of the room. This naturally shocked her, but she managed to regain her cool when she realized the stuff wasn’t actually hurting her. Not to mention that if she was going to be harmed, she would surely have been attacked by now.

The sudden shower concluded several seconds later, at which point the door that Jeeves was standing next to slid open. Fizzy walked out while still dripping with the stuff and looking herself over, but she was unable to spot any abnormalities. A motorized cart then appeared out of nowhere, carrying a small box-shaped device on top of it. Jeeves picked it up and waved it at her, prompting the contraption to let out a series of clicks.

“I’m afraid we’ll need to go through another one, Fizzy Rustblood,” he said in a slightly apologetic tone.

“Another what?”

“Anozer dekontaminashion cycle, devochka.”

Fizzy spun on her heel to face the owner of that female voice. She saw what looked to be a human woman in her late twenties, maybe early thirties. She had a stunning figure, a face that radiated a cold beauty and a head of bright blue hair styled in a no-nonsense bob. She was wearing a tight strapless minidress that hugged her feminine curves. The fabric was the same eye-catching color as her hair. It had hundreds of tiny discs embroidered into it, causing it to glitter beautifully in the artificial lighting. It was also rather short, cutting off midway down her thighs. The skirt part even had side slits to it that showed off her hips, as if it wasn’t revealing enough already.

However, even though she looked much more human than Jeeves, this thing was also definitely not a person. Her shell was made up of the same hard white resin as that ‘IFF card’ the golem was given, with black seams running between the various interlocking plates. Her face was something of an exception. It was as porcelain white as the rest of her, but it was covered by a soft skin-like material that gave it a flawless, high-class look. Her mechanical eyes literally glowed with their own sky-blue light, and there was a layer of blue lipstick on her artificial lips.

Her neck, arms and legs were more heavily segmented than the rest of her, especially around the knees, elbows and fingers. Which was understandable considering she probably needed to move those around a lot more than her generously proportioned bust. It was readily apparent that this particular model favored form over function. A clear sign of this was the way her feet were built into the shape of high-heeled shoes typically reserved for ladies of a noble and/or affluent persuasion.

Indeed, ‘built’ was the only way one could describe this construct. She was very clearly an automaton, albeit one that was in a completely different league from Jeeves. It was a form that was aimed entirely at replicating the aesthetic of a human being - an ideal the Original Artificer referred to as ‘an android.’ Simply comparing it to that clunky pile of walking junk was like an insult in and of itself.

“Uhm… hi?” muttered Fizzy. “Miss Ekaterina Dragunova, I presume?”

The alabaster fembot cocked an eyebrow at those words, but she still returned the greeting.

“Dah, zat is my name. Privyet, Feezy, and vhelcome to Novyy Dragunov!”

She threw her arms up in a dramatic fashion, and the entire facility seemed to momentarily light up in response.

“Eez nice place, no?”

“Nice is an understatement! It’s amazing!” exclaimed Fizzy as she resumed looking all around her like a child at a carnival. “I’ve never seen anything like it!”

“Of course not. Ze outside vhorld is very primiteev compared to my home heer.”

“I’ll say! People always said you were hundreds of years ahead of the rest of us, but I didn’t believe it until I actually saw it for myself!”

“Hmm… how strange.”

“… What is?”

Fizzy stopped her starry-eyed glancing about and focused her attention back onto the Original Artificer. Or at the very least, the being claiming to be her.

“You come heer, six kilometra below ze surfees and meet with me. Me! Ekaterina Dragunova! Yet you are more interested in my vhork zen in myself.”

“Ah, right. Sorry about that,” apologized Fizzy. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you, but I’ve personally met with an actual God, so…”

‘Some mechanized floozy at the bottom of a deep hole is barely a blip on my weirdo-detector’ were the words the golem wisely decided to keep to herself.

“Blyat! Bozhestva! Kuchka litsemernykh suk, da i tol'ko!”

Fizzy understood precisely zero of those words, but Ekaterina’s venomous tone alone made it quite clear their meaning was not a pleasant one.

“You vhill not suddenly start preeching to me, vhill you?!”

“No! No, ma’am! No such intentions!”

“Good! I have had enough of doze fashistskiye suki!” she added as she quite literally spat some oil onto the ground.

“D-do you mind if I ask what your beef with the divines is?”

It was painfully obvious by this point that this otherworlder had some grievances with the local pantheon. It was unclear whether she knew about Fizzy being a Paladin, so the golem wanted to test the waters a bit lest she touch a nerve again.

“… Maybe later,” answered Ekaterina after a brief pause. “Right now - dekontaminashion. Get back in zere so I can get ze radiashun from you.”

“Oh, right. Then can I ask what this ‘radiashun’ is?” said Fizzy as she walked back into the chamber. “Because I found this glowing blue stuff you left behind. And I kinda spread it around not knowing it was poisonous somehow? I also glow in the dark now, which I’m assuming is somehow related.”

Ekaterina started explaining while the chemical shower began pouring down on her guest.

“Dah, zat is radiashun, devochka. Eez nasty invisible stuff zat can linger for many years and keels anysing zat is too close to eet. Vhell, assuming eez made of flesh. Elektronik components also not like eet. Leeving metal eez a bit of, how you say, eeksepshun. But you already know zat since you vhould not be heer odervhize.”

“Okay, so then why did you have so many barrels of that stuff if it’s so dangerous?” asked the golem.

“Bekoz eet eez major source of energy, vhich I need a lot of. I am tried some experiments with few izotopy and megick, but am only roboteeks engineer with minor in chemistry. Eez outside my field of eksperteez, so I accidentally make pizdets and poizen mountain near house. Could happen to anybody. But I steell get Taboo from some ho-lee beetch I never even see! Den dickless tzar use as excuse to have me exiled bekoz I no listen to heez debil ideas!”

“Ok for real, that weird accent is oficially terrible!” complained Plus. “I mean, I can hardly understand what she’s saying! Otherworlder or not, you’d think she’d learn to talk properly after spending hundreds of years here!”

“Facking politeeks and eco terrorists!” continued Ekaterina after spitting once more. “Even in different vhorld I cannot be rid of zem!”

Yeah, silently agreed Fizzy. I need to reign her in before I lose her completely.

She stepped out of the decontamination chamber now that it had run its course and forcibly changed the subject.

“So, miss Dragunova? I was wondering-”

“Pleez, Feezy. Call me Katya. I insist.”

Having her name mispronounced like that slightly irked the golem, but she decided to bear with it rather than risk pissing off what appeared to be a megalomaniacal heretic with anger issues.

“Right. Katya. Why did you call me here?”

It went without question that the one that had guided her to that stupidly deep hole inside the Vault was none other than the facility’s owner.

“I vhill explain, devochka. Come, let us go somevhere quieter. Jeevez, you go back to storeroom Four-One-Bee and shut down.”

“As you command, mistress! It was jolly good to make your acquaintance, Fizzy Rustblood. I hope we shall meet again!”

The automaton that had remained silent ever since its owner made her appearance then proceeded to merrily trot off into the distance while Katya led Fizzy in the opposite direction.

“What’s the deal with that thing?” asked the golem.

“Eez just old model butler robot. Only good for simple tasks, but still has some use.”

“I mean why does it sound so… happy?”

“Bekoz dat is how heez voice lines are. He has over four thousand prerecorded reesponses.”

“Huh. That explains a lot. I don’t see why an automaton would need that much speech capability though.”

“Bekoz people are trash, so I had him deal vhit visitors vhenever possible. He vhaz very good at scaring zem off so zey don’t bozer me more zan vhance or tvize.”

So it would appear that the Original Artificer was every bit as antisocial as the history books suggested. Yet the golem couldn’t help but notice that, despite her being a self-proclaimed misanthrope, Katya’s gait was rather… provocative. Her hips swayed excessively from side to side and her perfectly sculpted butt cheeks strained against the tight dress just in front of Fizzy’s face. The foreigner’s swagger could be explained as her simply ‘strutting her stuff,’ but it was too little too much. The way Katya walked honestly made her look like a high-class prostitute rather than one of the finest minds to ever grace this world, even to someone like Fizzy.

The two of them eventually entered some sort of sound-proof office, although it was extremely bare bones. It just had a desk with one large chair behind it and a smaller one in front of it. The mostly bare walls and the few metal crates stacked up in the corner made it seem more like a storeroom someone had repurposed rather than an actual study. The only thing that suggest any sort of work was carried out on this room was the large screen attached to the wall to the left side of the desk. It was currently powered on and was relaying images from various points in the Novyy Dragunov facility.

Katya sat behind the desk and gestured for Fizzy to take her seat as well. The alabaster android then put her elbows on the table and clasped her hands in front of her face.

“So. Ze reason I ‘invited’ you heer, Feezy, is bekoz I saw somezing in you.”

The screen on the golem’s left flashed and a recording of her tumble with the Vault’s security could be seen. Judging from the angle, it was taken from one of the upper corners of the room. Fizzy naturally had a mountain of questions regarding how any of this stuff actually worked, but she decided to hold off on them until her host had finished her presentation.

“I saw a vhoman of great drive and determination,” explained Katya. “A vhoman who had no problems trampling fools zat vhere clearly beloh her.”

The security camera footage switched over to the scene of Fizzy berating the dying gnome Moss, complete with audio.

“A vhoman who knows quality.”

The moving pictures changed once again, this time depicting the golem rifling through the Vault’s contents with a dissatisfied expression on her face.

“And most importantly, a vhoman of unique talents.”

The image of a mithril Paladin repairing her own face with a few strips of mithril and a dose of healing magic.

“You and I, vhe have more in common zen you might think, Feezy. Eez vhy I had to meet you. And here you are.”

“Right. Because forcing someone into a choice between being blown up or jumping down a stupidly deep hole is a great icebreaker.”

Katya’s azure lips curled into a confident smile that peeked over her intertwined digits.

“You vhould not be of much use to me if somezing like gravity or a big boom vhould stop you.”

“So it’s like that after all, isn’t it?” asked Fizzy with a sigh. “You don’t care about me personally, you just want something out of me.”

“Yes. I vhant your help. You remember me talking about energy sources, yes? I have found one down here. A power source so strong it makes ze sun look like a potato lamp. I vhant eet. I need eet. But, zere are some, eeh… obstacles? Yes, obstacles in my vhey.”

The images on Fizzy’s left flickered once more, this time showing the picture of a well-built man with stocky proportions dressed in nothing but his undergarments. His skin coloration was a bit unhealthy, as it had a gray hue to it. His scalp was covered by coarse-looking black hair and he had a massive set of sideburns flanking his rough face. His height was listed as being just over 150 centimeters, and his weight was 77 kilograms. If this was all Fizzy knew about him, then she would definitely write him off as a dwarf without a second thought.

At the same time, however, this individual’s physical features were quite different from the average beer-loving mountain dweller. His skull, face and nose were noticeably wider and flatter and his eyes were a bit lower on his face than one might expect. The neutral stance of his upper body wasn’t upright, but severely hunched over. This made his freakishly long arms dangle down to about his ankles, which did not serve to distract one’s attention from his wide and unreasonably hairy feet.

The key feature that left no doubt in Fizzy’s mind that this guy was not a dwarf were the trio of amethyst-like gems on his massive forehead, which were arranged in the shape of a triangle.

“Is that… a stoneborn?” she asked in surprise. “You’ve found evidence of their existence?!”

“No. Not ‘evidence,’ devochka,” said Katya. “I have met zem. I have spoken to zem.”

“You mean they are still around?!”

“Unfortunately zey are. And zey are denying me vhat eez rightfully mine.”

“But why would they- The Realmstone! It’s real too, isn’t it?! That’s the energy source you want to get your hands on!”

“Yes,” she replied bluntly. “I have spent many decades looking for eet, but zeese stoneborn will not allow me to claim it. So I declare vhar on them. I burned zeir cities and keeled zeir soldiers, but zey stubbornly cling to zeir precious stone. I had ze upper hand at first, but zey quickly learn how to fight my drones and stand zeir ground. And vhe have been locked in ze stalemate for more zan tvhenty years now.”

“…”

Fizzy closed her eyes and crossed her arms as she and her alter ego processed this information.

“So to sum it up,” called out Plus, “this nutjob caused an environmental disaster that got her in trouble with the kingdom. This got her exiled, so she hid away underground in order to dig out a legendary Divine-class magic item for some unknown purpose. She found it and has been fighting the ancestors of the dwarves - who apparently exist outside of old folk tales - for over twenty years over it.”

Don’t forget she apparently transferred her consciousness into a machine in the interim, added the golem.

“Right. Because such a thing is possible.”

Uh, hello? Former meatbag current golem over here?

“Yeah, but we’re unique! There’s nobody else in the world like us! Way I see it, this bag of bolts is just a body double or an impostor or something!”

You might be right, but whether she’s the real deal or not is irrelevant. What really matters is that she’s in charge around here, and we can’t risk antagonizing her until we have more information.

“Hmm, I guess. Then should we try-”

“So, vhat do you say, Feezy?” asked Katya, interrupting the golem’s internal debate. “Vhill you help me claim the Realmstone?”

“… These stoneborn have fought you and your super-advanced weaponry to a standstill for two decades. What makes you think I’ll be of any use?”

“In zis vhorld of Levels and Jobs and Skeells, one man can easily keel thousands on the battlefield. And I have personally seen you break three of my sentry bots with no problem. You are a warrior of great strength, and I am sure you can prove to be the piece that breaks ze balance.”

“Okay, let me rephrase that. What makes you think I’ll be of any use to you?”

“Becoz I can pay. Gold, gems, vhepons, armor - you name it, I make it happen.”

“Alright. I’ll bite. For starters, can you return me to the surface?”

Katya leaned back in her chair and let her arms fall on the armrests.

“I can arrange for zat, yes. Vhat else?”

“Your techniques and creations. I want the schematics, blueprints, and tools necessary to build them. Also any instructions regarding custom materials like this white resin stuff.”

The automaton’s left eye twitched a few times when she heard that. It was obvious she wasn’t happy about being asked to share the secrets of her life’s work.

“And make sure they’re in Common, not whatever weirdo language you keep using,” added Fizzy.

“Common? You mean E̸҉͠n̷̛͟͡͠g̴͘͝l͘i̷̢͝s͘͞͡҉h̸̡́́?”

“… Sorry, what? I didn’t catch that?”

“Ah, kurva feelter… Nevermind. I suppose I can part with some designs, though I am curious vhy you vhould vhant zem. Are you even an Automata Artificer? You have no hope of understanding zem if you are not.”

“Maybe not, but I won’t have to. I plan to sponge off your work so I can further my own goals.”

“Hah! Vhell, at least you are honest about eet! Eez more zan I can say about zose assistants of mine! You sure you vhill be satisfied vhit such metods?”

“Hey, I doubt anyone got into the Ritz without pulling a few strings.”

“Ritz? Vhat eez zat?”

“Y’know, the Royal Institute of Technology?”

“Never heard of eet.”

“They say you founded it. It’s even in your old house in Dragunov. The city, I mean.”

“Blyat! Politicians, zey say many zings, devochka. And zey are alvhays lies. Eez universal truth zat goes beyond space and time it seems.”

“I suppose that’s true, isn’t it?”

Those old legends about the Vault containing Katya’s ‘final gift’ to the world and how it was waiting for ‘a worthy disciple’ to open it up were both proven to be hoaxes by this point. Either the olden government that Katya had problems with started them up or they were just rumors and hearsay that got out of hand. It was hardly a stretch of the imagination to say the Ritz would use the Original Artificer’s name to boost their credibility.

“Also, you say zey are using my old house? Ze one next to my vheather control tahvher?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Vhell, I have bad news for you in zat case. I am afraid zis ‘Ritz’ of yours eez no more.”

Katya gestured to the screen on the side, which changed over to a video stream of the city of Dragunov. It was a somewhat fuzzy and distorted view of the predominantly gnomish settlement. Whatever device was used to capture these images was positioned about halfway up the spire-like Regulator and provided an eye-in-the-sky perspective on the city below. It revealed that the bustling metropolis had been gripped by a horrible snowstorm. The streets had frozen over, its clockwork heartbeat had gone silent, and there was not a single soul in sight. It was so still that one might confuse the images on the screen for a painting if it wasn’t for the animated snowfall.

“Is this… Is this going on right now?” asked Fizzy in disbelief.

“Yes. Eez live feed,” responded Katya with a nod.

“But… Why? How?” mumbled the golem in disbelief as she kept staring wide-eyed at the screen.

“Eez funny story actually. Back vhen I vhas exiled, I vhanted to freez ze entire region. Payback for deekless tzar who rob me of house and home, and traitor assistants who try to claim my hard vhork as zeir own. But eet seems one of zose old students managed to reset Regulator to default setting five days after I activate it. I only realise zis vhen you trigger break-in alarm in Lednik Dva few vheeks ago and poot ze Regulator back to freez.”

The mithril golem had gotten off her chair while Katya was casually admitting to wiping out a city out of spite as if it were a conversation about the weather. Well, her monologue technically concerned both those topics, but that was besides the point.

“Ah, do not blame yourself,” called out the android after seeing the golem’s stupefied state. “Zey had it coming for long time. Plus, eez good way to teech zem not to mess vhit me in future.”

Fizzy wasn’t listening to her in the slightest though. Her eyes were glued to the giant monitor and she was slowly walking towards it, even going so far as to reach out to it as if to touch it. The automaton curiously followed her eyesight, at which point she realized the thing her guest was staring at was not the city itself. A cloaked humanoid figure far taller than any gnome, dwarf, human or elf was climbing up the outer wall of the Regulator.

However, it wasn’t using its hands or feet, but was skittering up the side of the massive building by using eight spider-like limbs that poked out of the sides of its torso. It rapidly approached the security camera from below and paused directly in front of it. Its inhuman yellow eyes stared into the strange device. It was a scrutinizing, probing stare that Fizzy knew all too well, one that seemed to pierce clean through her and grasp at her very soul.

The shapeshifter on the other end of the lens then lunged its head forward, revealing a row of sharp teeth that gripped the mechanical eyeball just before the video feed turned to static.

A special action has been performed. LCK +1.

A boundless joy started welling up within Fizzy’s core. A certain mad happiness that she never thought she would feel ever again. It was an emotion so powerful that it lifted the corners of her mouth, gradually turning her shocked expression into a manic wide-eyed smile that made her look broken. And yes, she was indeed damaged goods, but she was fine with that.

Because the only thing that could truly make her feel whole was currently waiting for her on the other side of that screen.

“You find ze destruction of my property funny, Feezy?” asked Katya from the side.

The golem realized she was making ‘the face’ again and forcibly dialed back her enthusiasm by pretending to clear her throat.

“Ahem! Sorry, no. Nothing like that.”

“Uh-huh. Zen do you know vhat in ze hell zat creature vhas?”

Like you wouldn’t believe! she cheered inwardly.

“How are you sure that’s actually Boxxy?”

Name one other creature that would bite a strange machine to check whether it was tasty.

“Uh… Okay, good point. But how did it come back to life in the first place? Are you sure it’s not actually undead? What if it’s just a puppet or a demon or something?”

Don’t know! Don’t care!

Fizzy would have all the time in the world to go over the unquestionably absurd details surrounding the Mimic’s resurrection at a later time. The most important thing to her right now was getting out of this fucking hole.

“Look, Katya, that’s not important right now. What matters is that you’ve made your point. You can forget the schematics and the blueprints. Just give me all the explosives you have and point me in the direction of your stoneborn problem.”

And she wasn’t about to let something trivial like a bit of genocide get in her way.