You have entered Lednik Dva.

The cog shaped door rolled back into its place behind Moss as he tumbled through the gap at the last moment. A giant metal arm pushed it closed from the inside, sealing the Vault as tightly shut as it had been for the past century. The gnome scrambled to his feet and looked at the entrance, noting how there didn’t seem to be any obvious way of opening it up from that side. Once the groans of the unseen locks resetting themselves quieted down, he began to pick up on the barely audible sounds of alarms and gunfire from the outside.

It seemed like it would be a while before the people on the other side of the door could reach the lock and open it up again.

Moving his gaze away from the entrance, the gnome began to soak in his surroundings. He was now in a hallway encased in steel. The walls were made out of huge plates that seemed to be bolted together. The floor was covered in a zigzag pattern of tiny ridges intended to provide extra grip while walking. The ceiling was dotted with a huge number of rectangular lamps that bathed the entire place in a pure white, almost sterile light. All of which were covered by a thin, barely noticeable layer of ice.

Moss expected there to be a larger buildup of frost, but the air down here was too arid to allow that sort of thing, despite it being more than cold enough. Almost too cold, actually. Now that the rush of his mad dash just moments ago was fading away, he was really starting to feel the chill. The temperature was so low that it was comparable to being stranded out in the open at night during the depths of winter. His breath turned white, his teeth chattered and his entire body shivered, but he ignored all of those complaints and focused on the biggest question in his mind.

Where was Fizzy?

The shiny golem was nowhere to be seen, but at the very least she had left a trail behind. Her superheated body had left melted footprints on the frozen floor, making it obvious she had gone on further inside without a single drop of hesitation. Moss really should have expected this. In the short time he had known her, not once did he see the golem show anything even remotely resembling hesitation. He found that unshakable confidence of hers to be both enviable and attractive. Yup, it was totally her personality he had fallen for, not that curvy body and pretty face of hers.

“Hatchoo!”

Realizing that this wasn’t the best place to daydream about naked golems, Moss chased the weird thoughts out of his head and started following those tracks down the hallway. The wide passage stretched out for another 10 or so meters ahead, at which point it hit a ramp that led downwards.

The sounds of what could only be a battle suddenly washed over him as he was moving forward. It was an endless stream of loud bangs accompanied by countless clanging noises of metal clashing against metal. The combined din of it all reverberated in the metal hallway around him, threatening to rupture his eardrums in the process. Realizing that Fizzy was under attack further up ahead, he forced his freezing body into a run while desperately trying to plug his ears with his hands.

When he reached the the ramp, however, he slipped on one of the golem’s soggy footprints. He fell over backwards, hitting the back of his head against the steel floor and sliding down the gentle slope in an uncontrollable matter. Coming to an awkward stop at the bottom of the ramp, he immediately tried to flip over onto his stomach and stand up. Unfortunately, the self-inflicted concussion, icy floor and the numbness of his limbs meant that the most he could do for the moment was look up from his spot in a dazed manner.

Through his blurry vision he was able to figure out this chamber was some kind of storage depot. It was easily 3 stories tall, and so wide he had trouble seeing its walls. Rows of huge shelves made out of metal scaffolding were filled to the brim with a huge number of metal containers of all shapes and sizes. It was almost like being inside a disproportionately large library, which was in the process of actively being wrecked.

Fizzy was fighting against the Vault’s internal security systems, which took on the shape of six pieces of weaponized automata. The dark green mechanical sentries were about 2 meters tall each, though it would be more accurate to call them mobile turrets rather than mechanized dolls. They rolled around on a trio of thick leg-like struts that had spherical rollers instead of feet, allowing them to move in whatever direction they damn well pleased. Their top half consisted of a humanoid torso, albeit one that was extremely bulky. They had metal domes on top of their shoulders instead of necks and heads, and their arms ended in a series of rotating metal tubes instead of wrists and fingers. This last part was perhaps the most terrifying, as their ‘hands’ spewed out lead at speeds so high that the projectiles left bright yellow traces in the air.

“Parallel One!”

Yet Fizzy did not flinch, nor did she waver. She dove headfirst into the hail of gunfire, taking all that hot lead like a champ. A Champion of Chaos, to be precise. Using the Skill of the same name, she was able to roughly predict the trajectories of all incoming shots just by looking at the rotating muzzles they came out of. This allowed her to zigzag around the worst of the lethal volley while rapidly closing the gap between her and her targets. She still got hit quite a few times, though the bullets bounced off her thick hide for the most part. She would’ve taken a lot more damage if she wasn’t actively avoiding them, but at this level it was nothing that couldn’t be repaired with an on-the-go Holy Light or two, courtesy of Plus.

The sentries began rolling away from the incoming ball of violence while peppering her with bullets, but a well-aimed Armored Charge saw Fizzy close the gap between them in an instant. She smashed shoulder-first into the frontmost leg of the enemy closest to her, then swung her wrench in a huge horizontal arc.

*CRUNCH*

Her weapon completely demolished the knee-like joint, causing its owner to tip over and fall to the ground, after which it proceeded to writhe around, unable to get back up. She then spun around on her heel and delivered an overhead strike to its midsection, nearly breaking it in half and causing it to sputter and die as it let out various fluids, sparks and smoke. Fizzy then repeated the process with the second and third, but the fourth one seemed to have learned from the others’ failures. It leaped out of the way with a degree of agility unbefitting of that thick frame and hit its shiny target in the back with a concentrated volley that drove her off.

The golem was pretty spry herself though. Even though her Armored Charge missed the mark, she hurriedly clambered up a ladder that happened to be propped up against a metal shelf. Once she reached the top, she began to run down it, using the various crates and boxes as cover. She then leaped at one of the remaining automata, smashing into its chest shield-first while Plus used Magnetize to turn her charge pack all the way up to ‘vaporize.’

What followed was an ear-splitting screech as the powerful current produced by the device enveloped both the golem and her mechanized opponent. The latter shuddered and spasmed uncontrollably as the electricity assaulted its internal components, frying it from the inside out. Blue arcs of energy continued to jump between the two metal constructs until the armed drone went completely limp and traces of gray smoke began to rise from the seams of its armor.

*KERKHOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

It then suddenly exploded in a storm of fire and shrapnel, causing Moss to hide his head behind the metal container he had been hiding behind. He had run over to it as soon as he was able to stand and had been using it as cover ever since. Even if he wanted to be of use to Fizzy, he knew better than to try and interfere in that battle as he would, at best, only get in the way. That was why he had chosen to remain as an observer, limiting his involvement to just peeking over the relatively short box to keep an eye on things. It was not exactly helpful, but he was sure the narcissistic golem would appreciate having herself an audience, however small it may be.

At least that’s what he thought until that blast from just now made him reconsider that foolish decision, and indeed every life choice he’s ever made leading up to this point in time. The shock wave of that explosion alone had been powerful enough to rattle his bones and make his gums bleed. There was also the loud thud of something heavy crashing into the wall overhead, which nearly made him piss his pants. The ‘something’ then fell on the ground next to him, mere centimeters away from squashing him flat.

And it was at that point in time that he had officially soiled himself.

His fright was relieved somewhat when he realized the oversized piece of shrapnel was actually Fizzy, who had been thrown off in the blast. After smacking into the wall and somehow landing on all fours, she slowly stood up and took in her surroundings. Her radiant white skin had turned red-hot from her continued use of Engine of Destruction, while her maniacally grinning face fell by her feet with a soft clatter.

“AAAAAH!”

Moss finally found the strength to scream in shock and terror. The beautiful face he had fallen for had, in a fit of irony, fallen off of its owner’s head and was currently lying on the ground in front of him. He looked up at the golem, screaming once more at the skull-like frame that normally lay beneath her recently orphaned visage. Fizzy’s artificial eyeballs passed over the terrified Moss and settled on her own face, which seemed to be laughing back at her like some sort of twisted reflection.

“Oh, dose hucking hieces of shit! How dare they harm hai hlawless hase?!”

Cursing without lips, the golem immediately leapt over the metal box and charged right into the cloud of smoke left behind by the explosion. Moss scrambled to his feet and looked at the black smog, but as expected he couldn’t see anything. He could hear plenty, though. The ear-piercing sounds of metal groaning and snapping while Fizzy cackled maniacally almost made him glad he couldn’t see anything.

The struggles of the remaining two automata continued for another half minute or so. They ended abruptly with a loud snapping noise, followed by a hemispherical head rolling out of the smoke on its rim and coming to rest in front of Moss with a small clatter. The heavy fumes began to disperse shortly afterwards, revealing a very worked up Fizzy standing over a knee-deep pile of scrap that used to be a pair of sentry bots.

“Die-die-die-die-die-die!”

She didn’t seem to be quite done with them yet though, as she continued cursing at them while stomping their remains flat against the floor.

“Die-die-die-Holy-die-Light-die!”

All the while Plus was trying to mend their slowly melting body.

“Hey-die-Fizzy!” she tried to interrupt. “Die-we-die-really-die-should-die-cool-die-off!”

Her words seemed to do the trick, as the golem realized that both her body and her emotions were running way too hot. Her thoughts drifted back to her assault on the Spire of the Jade King, and how the stone golems there flew into a blind rage whenever their most important parts were shattered. It would appear that having her own face taken clean off had somehow triggered a berserker state of her own, making her go overboard.

She stopped fussing about and sat down on the ground, letting the cold air sap the excess heat out of her. She then reached into the Bag of Holding that was still somehow attached to her mostly burned pants, and pulled out the mithril ‘bandages’ she had that smith in Gun Tarum prepare for her. Next, she pressed one of the enchanted metal sheets against the front of her skull and channeled a Holy Light through it. The thin plate warped unnaturally as it bonded with her red-hot body and assumed the shape of the lower left half of her face. Fizzy then repeated the process twice - once for her right side and once more for her forehead.

Strictly speaking she wasn’t really sure whether this would work until just now, but the fact that her wild guess had somehow turned out to be spot on served only to feed her colossal ego.

All things said and done, she was able to restore her glorious visage with little-to-no difficulty. It wasn’t perfect since her new animate faceplate wasn’t as thick as her old one, but it would do the trick for now. She also applied two of the mithril patches to her right forearm, where a chunk of her heated skin had been blown off in the explosion. As she watched the precious metal fuse with her body and then almost immediately turn red, she realized it would probably be for the best if she turned off the Engine of Destruction for now. It wasn’t like she necessarily needed to use the Skill anyway, as the frigid environment was playing a lot less havoc on her body than she anticipated.

Normally, being hit with cold-attuned magic would actively sap the mystical energies out of her body, interfering with the circulation of mana. This would leave her not only encased in ice, but also partially paralyzed and lacking the strength necessary to break out of it. Having the Engine of Destruction fully revved up counteracted this effect, as continuously converting the heat into mana meant that her limbs were resupplied with energy almost immediately. It did little to prevent the additional damage she took from having her ‘blood’ drained away, but it was better than nothing.

However, this place wasn’t actually triggering her Bane. She wasn’t sure why or how, but it would appear that the frigid temperature wasn’t maintained through purely magical means. To put it another way, it was almost as if the cold here was natural, despite that notion making no logical sense whatsoever. Then again, the owner of this place was also responsible for creating the Regulator, so this sort of feat was entirely within the Original Artificer’s abilities.

This suited Fizzy just fine, because it meant she didn’t have to worry about her Bane. As long as it was a simple chill, then it wouldn’t inconvenience her in the slightest. Sure, she’d still have icicles forming on her joints and skin, but simple frozen condensation wasn’t enough to prevent her movement. She could just power through the frost with brute strength and shrug it off completely, especially since her body no longer shivered in the cold like a certain useless meatbag.

“Oh yeah. That idiot was here, wasn’t he?”

Suddenly remembering that Moss had apparently followed her inside, the golem stood up and went over to where she had seen him earlier. She had already cooled off to the point where she wasn’t actually taking damage, so her skin had regained her natural pure white sheen. The residual heat still made her give off a bit of steam, giving the air around her an almost ethereal feel. If a certain calamitous box was here, it would most assuredly praise her for this uniquely shiny appearance.

Moss wasn’t doing anywhere nearly as well as her, though. In fact, the gnome was in a much worse state than the one she left him in, despite him suffering no injuries in that skirmish. Well, no physical ones, anyway.

He was sitting on the ground with his back leaned against the metal box he had been hiding behind with a hazy look in his eyes. His skin color had turned from pink to pale, and was now steadily becoming a rather odd shade of blue. His breathing was extremely shallow and unsteady and he made wheezing noises every time he inhaled or exhaled. The prosthetic arm on his left side wasn’t doing too well either, as it seemed to be completely encased in ice.

“… Fizzy?” he whispered hoarsely when he heard her approach. “Is that… you?”

“Yeah, it’s me alright.”

“What’s… *Koff! Koff!* What’s going on? … I can’t… move…”

He had difficulty even speaking, as evidenced by how he had to take long pauses between his words just to breathe in.

“Yup. Seems like the environment’s doing a number on your pathetically weak body,” stated the golem in a casual manner.

“Well… Can you… help me out? … Start a fire? … Or something?”

“That won’t do you any good. It’s not the cold that’s killing you, it’s the dungeon.”

“Dungeon? … What?”

“You didn’t see the notification when you walked in? The one saying you’d entered Lednik Dva or whatever?”

“I don’t… understand… How is this… a dungeon…?”

“Dungeons without monsters exist, you know,” explained Fizzy. “I practically lived inside one for a while, you know. The feeling is pretty similar, but the concentration of ambient mana here is way thicker.”

She wasn’t sure why it was like this, but if she had to take one of her patented 100% accurate guesses, it was because it had built up over the years since nobody was around to use it.

“It’s too thick, actually. You can practically see it for crying out loud!”

Fizzy waved her hand through the air, causing it to visibly distort and bend, almost like disturbing the surface of a still pond.

“Ah… I thought you… looked kinda blurry… back there… Nnngh!”

The gnome let out an involuntary groan, as willing air in and out of his lungs was starting to cause him a good deal of pain.

“Help me… please…”

“Sorry, there’s nothing I can do,” said the golem bluntly. “I’m fine since I’m a golem, but it’s obviously too much for a pathetically weak meatbag like yourself. The air itself is poisoning your body, and the only way to stop it is to get you outside. I don’t see that happening though, what with the entrance being sealed and all.”

“Grrnnnh!”

Moss groaned once again, as his joints were now also screaming out in agony. He looked pleadingly at Fizzy, gritted his teeth and spoke even quieter than before.

“Please… Help…”

“What, you deaf now too? I just said-”

“No… Nnnnngh! Help… Pain!”

Fizzy looked into Moss’s eyes once more, but what she saw in them was something foreign to her. The two of them continued to silently stare at each other until she suddenly realized what it was. This was not the fear of death she routinely saw in her victims. It was also neither the will to survive, nor was it a silent accusation blaming her for this outcome. The only thing she saw when she stared at those dull orbs was a sort of quiet acceptance.

In other words, what the gnome seemed to be asking wasn’t to be saved, but to be released.

“I suppose there’s no two ways around it,” she assented. “I’m disappointed you didn’t last very long, but I’m still kind of glad we met. I don’t think I would’ve gotten here if it wasn’t for you. I’ll be honest, whenever I was unsure of my purpose or had doubts about what I was doing, all I needed to do was take a look at you.”

“R-really?”

Moss spoke in a strangely hopeful tone entirely at odds with his desperate situation.

“Oh very much so. A simple glance was enough to remind of everything I don’t want to be, of every pitfall that could have befallen me. This would motivate me and make me strive to be better than some pathetic piece of meat that clings to a life that is no longer truly theirs.”

However, her words were surprisingly harsh rather than soothing, almost as if she was looking down on the young lad. Or rather, that was exactly what was she was doing, and indeed what she had been doing ever since the two of them started traveling together. The only difference was that this time around her venomous words were said aloud rather than shared privately with Plus.

“I mean just look at how pitiable you are!” she said in an incredulous tone. “You follow me around blindly with that frail body of yours, not even thinking of your own future nor your safety! That sort of braindead behavior is exactly what got you into this mess! At least Drummir had the clarity of mind to ensure his survival, but you just pointlessly threw your life away for nothing!”

The golem let out a breathless sigh as a feeling of dread crept into Moss’s fading consciousness.

“This is more or less what I expected,” she continued, “but I’m still kind of disappointed you didn’t even last a month. Though I suppose it was inevitable. I mean, if it wasn’t this dungeon, it would’ve just been something else.”

She then glared at Moss as if trying to drill a hole through his forehead.

“But perhaps the worst part about this is how easily you just gave up once I told you I couldn’t save you. Did you even consider you might be able to fight this off through your own force of will? Did you have even the slightest bit of confidence in yourself? No, of course you didn’t. After all, why bother becoming your own person when Fizzy will just pull your bacon out of the fire. And when it turned out that there are things even I can’t do, what was your response?”

She crouched down next to the gnome and put on a ridiculously fake smile.

“‘Oh well, there’s no helping it,’” she said in a mocking tone. “Isn’t that right mister Dingleberry Ticklepants? Or whatever the fuck your stupid name was.”

She then stood back up and looked down at the boy as if he were a piece of trash.

“Goodbye, meatbag. You will be remembered, but not missed.”

Saying those final words, the golem then turned around and focused her attention on investigating the Vault around her. She was going to be sealed in here for an indeterminate amount of time, so the least she could do was explore it and maybe find an alternate exit.

“That was a bit harsh, wasn’t it?” asked Plus before Fizzy could get started. “I mean, it’s not like you didn’t say anything untrue, but did you really have to rub it in so hard?”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” replied Fizzy out loud. “It felt pretty good, though. It was mostly for myself anyway. It wasn’t like I’d get anything from talking to a corpse.”

Indeed, Moss had already expired by the time she had finished her rant. She wasn’t sure when exactly that had happened, nor did she care. She was going to dispose of him eventually anyway, as actively associating with a pickpocket would only bring harm to her reputation. These circumstances were actually pretty favorable, as the authorities couldn’t blame her for the actions of a suicidal idiot who couldn’t even think for himself.

“Speaking of which,” butted in her alter ego, “shouldn’t we sanctify his remains? We don’t want to be responsible for leaving undead behind, right?”

Fizzy’s thoughts drifted back to the lich Valeria, or ‘Nasty’ as Boxxy called her. According to the filthy heretic’s own words, she had been turned into one of the vile undead through a dungeon core’s meddling, so there was a good chance that might happen to Moss. Especially considering that, due in no small part to her own actions, it was hardly what one might consider a peaceful passing.

“Yeah, good point. Wouldn’t be much of a Paladin if I let stuff like that happen, right?”

She returned to where the gnome had breathed his last breath and said a prayer reserved for the recently deceased, then used a Consecrate Spell on his remains for good measure. With that chore out of the way, she then returned her attention to the storeroom around her and began digging through all the boxes and containers. She sorted through various types of raw materials and dozens of parts and devices both simplistic and advanced, but failed to find anything truly of note.

Of course, Fizzy wasn’t just aimlessly rummaging through the place. She was actually looking for a replacement for her weapon, as her favorite wrench had been snapped in half by the same explosion that removed her face. It was a blast strong enough to make her Shock Absorption Skill go up by almost an entire Level in one go, so it wasn’t surprising that her tool had been broken beyond even her cheat-like ability to repair. She’d have probably suffered much more severe injuries herself, were it not for her nigh-indestructible shield taking the brunt of that shockwave.

Bottom line was that she still needed something new to hit things with, as she had no idea when more of those tripod-mounted automata might show up.

After looking through about sixty or so crates, however, she began to lose patience. The stuff here was either low quality, or left in a clearly unfinished state. It was almost as if the Original Artificer was something of a hoarder who refused to throw anything way, despite it more or less amounting to worthless scrap and garbage. Honestly speaking, the place was beginning to look more and more like a dump site rather than anything even remotely resembling a vault.

Sighing dejectedly, she gave up on rummaging through some old hag’s personal belongings and decided to focus on investigating the area. She picked up a piece of pipe with a heavy flange attached at one end to serve as a temporary weapon, and strapped her electric charge pack to her back with some weird rope. The portable power plant had survived that explosion intact since Fizzy’s body had absorbed most of the impact, but the rubberized straps that held it in place were beyond salvageable. Turning the charge pack on and off, she was able to determine that this weird blue rope did not seem to conduct electricity, which was a good thing. It was questionable how long it would hold out under the ‘vaporize’ setting, but it would have to do.

Armed as she was, Fizzy then began exploring the ‘Vault.’ This Storage area was huge, but it was unlikely it would be the only room around. Indeed, after following the lefthand wall for a while, she came across a sealed bulkhead. She used her Metallopathy to peek at its construction, and was able to determine it was wired up to a panel of some sort next to it. It was a weird device made out of some solid white material she’d never seen before, but it wasn’t metal so she couldn’t peek inside it. It also seemed rather brittle, but she held off on smashing it since there was no telling what that hostile act might trigger.

The golem gave up on that particular door and continued looking around. She found a few more bulkheads like the first one, but they were all shut up tight. At least until she reached her sixth one, which was noticeably different from the rest. The tiny light on the white box next to it was shining green rather than red, so she held some expectations when she walked up to it. The massive slab of metal sprang to life all by itself once she stood directly in front of it, and slid downwards into the ground with a slight hissing noise. It not only provided entry, but also showed that her educated guess had been spot-on yet again.

“Wow! Way to go, Fizzy!” cheered Plus. “You’re on a roll today!”

“Was there ever any doubt? C’mon, let’s see what we have here.”

Fizzy walked through the open door, and she very nearly squealed with glee when she saw the room beyond it.

“Oh-hoh-ho! Now this is more like it!”

It was a huge chamber that was much taller than the one the golem left behind, though at the same time it was also a lot narrower. It appeared to be some kind of workshop or laboratory, if the numerous tables littered with various tools and parts were any indication. There were also cupboards, shelves and buckets filled with various basic components, such as metal plating, wiring, screws, bolts and all sort of other odds and ends.Though it seemed to be organized rather chaotically and haphazardly, the fact that it had some semblance of order at all was quite encouraging.

The literal centerpiece of this room - and most likely the focus of the work that had gone on in it - was an eight-meter tall piece of automata. It had been propped up by various clamps, braces and scaffolding in order to keep it from falling off of the circular pedestal in the middle. It had a strictly humanoid shape with rather normal-looking proportions, and its shell was made out of a shining steel-like metal with a blue tint. Overall it had a distinctly knight-like appearance, though the thin, borderline skeletal structure of its upper arms and thighs raised questions regarding its structural integrity.

“Woah!” exclaimed Plus, mirroring Fizzy’s own excitement. “Is that the Original Artificer’s final gift to the world?!”

“… No, I doubt this is it, actually,” said the golem after a moment’s pause. “Impressive as it is, it’s quite obviously incomplete.”

“Ah, it’s still missing a head, now that you mention it.”

*Krrrtktktk*

*Bdzzzzt*

A series of odd noises drew the golem’s attention to the corner behind the unfinished Overlord-class colossus. It would appear that one of the lamps embedded in the ceiling was not functioning correctly, as evidenced by how it flickered on and off in a rather annoying manner. On the bench directly underneath it, however, was something far more interesting - the giant robot’s missing head. It looked like a cross between a helmet and a welder’s mask, completely featureless aside from the wide horizontal slit over where the eyes would be.

Fizzy excitedly walked up to it and placed both hands on its reflective surface, but her Metallopathy revealed this was nothing but an empty shell. Feeling rather disappointed at herself for getting pointlessly worked up, the golem let out another in a long series of breathless sighs. She took her hands off of the oversized decoration and turned her attention back to the body itself, wondering if perhaps this whole thing was some sort of statue.

However, her thoughts were derailed when she spotted the potential weapon that had been propped up against the back of its leg. It appeared to be a tool of some description, only it was even larger than the wrench she had lost earlier. It was also pretty thick and completely lacking in finesse, much like almost everything else in this so-called Vault. Oddly enough, it seemed like it actually had two handles.

One of them was at the very end of the shaft, and grabbing onto it would place Fizzy’s palm perpendicular to the rest of it. It was in just the right position should the golem wish to swing this thing with reckless abandon like some sort of flail while maintaining a comfortable grip on it. The other handle was on the side of the lower half of the shaft, which was itself split into two perpendicular tubes. It had a rubberized grip about the length of a two-handed sword handle, so wielding this it holding onto that part seemed like it would give her a good amount control over it.

And she would probably need all the control she could get, as the business end of the thing looked much heavier than her old wrench. Its outer side had a vaguely rhomboid shape, though the inside of it had a perfectly round hole in it with a six-sided aperture built into it. There was a cylindrical device attached to one of its outside edges, which was hooked up to a series of thick brown cables. These wires ran down the solid metal shaft and fed into a small lever just above the two-handed handle. All of this seemed to be on the same side as that rubber grip as well, which was good since it meant the gadget wouldn’t get damaged if Fizzy were to crush someone’s face with the outer frame.

The golem eagerly discarded the flimsy-looking piping she’d picked up earlier, walked up to this bizarre tool and picked it up without further ado. Much as she’d surmised, it was indeed much heavier than what she was used to. Carrying it with one arm would not be a problem, but she’d need to grip it with both hands if she wanted to swing it with any semblance of dexterity or precision. She took a few practice swings with it, making the thick chain dangling off the handle rattle somewhat forebodingly. It was questionable what sort of purpose that might serve, but she was nevertheless able to confirm she’d need to practice with this if she planned to smash things up with this effectively.

This observation then raised the question of what kind of metal this thing was actually made of. It looked like steel outwardly, what with that classical metallic gray sheen, but channeling her Metallopathy through it allowed Fizzy to understand that this was not the case. This tool was much lighter and tougher than it would have been if it used something like steel for its frame. If anything, it looked like the weird metal the Vault door had been forged out of, which was somewhat of a mystery not only to her, but to the rest of the world as well.

But what sort of tool was this anyway?

Looking up at the metal giant in front of her, she couldn’t help but notice the huge bolts sticking out of its backside. Their heads were all six-sided, so it stood to reason that this was some type of adjustable wrench meant for tackling those heavy-duty bolts. The golem then turned her attention to the mechanism that obviously regulated how open or closed the aperture was. She stretched out two of her fingers while maintaining her grip on it, and pulled on the tiny lever that was just next to her fist.

*VRRRROOOM*

The device sprang to life with a mighty mechanical roar, causing the six-sided hole in the wrench’s head to abruptly disappear as the ‘teeth’ of the aperture completely closed in on themselves. Startled by the sudden activity and the high frequency vibrations coursing through her hands, Fizzy immediately released the lever, allowing the built-in engine to go silent once more. She had of course expected some kind of reaction, but this was much harsher and more violent than anything she had anticipated.

After mentally preparing herself, she then tried pushing the lever instead of pulling it. Another loud roar later, the wrench opened up all the way, resetting back into the position it was in when she first found it. Fizzy played around with the switch some more, quickly learning that how hard she was manipulating the trigger directly correlated to how much force was used. She recalled reading up on these so-called ‘analog’ triggers at some point, but she didn’t know much about them since they were outside her area of expertise as an Arclight Artificer.

Next she decided to stress test exactly how powerful those metal jaws actually were. She placed the pipe from earlier into the wrench’s open gap and pulled on the lever as hard she could. The engine roared angrily as the aperture’s teeth closed around the metal pipe, snapping it in half almost instantly. Or would it be more accurate to say it had been bitten in half? Either way, Fizzy’s psychotic mind was already dreaming up ways of utilizing this thing in combat.

“Oh, man!” she exclaimed excitedly. “Now I really want to try crushing someone’s limbs with this!”

The opening didn’t seem wide enough to put a human head through it, but it could definitely catch someone’s arm or leg and then snap it off. She was eager to properly examine and try her hand reverse engineering the entire thing. In fact, she was considering doing that right now, as she had all the necessary tools on hand anyway.

“Vnimaniye! Vnimaniye!”

Unfortunately it would appear she wouldn’t get the chance, as the obnoxious voice she had heard on the way in was now blaring throughout the room, complete with a loud siren as well.

“Zapushchen protokol samounichtozheniya! Do vzryva ostalos tri minuty!”

The color of the lights then turned from a sterile white into an alarming red, which served its purpose of alarming her. She looked around herself ready to bash anything that came her way, but she didn’t spot anything that resembled a threat. Or any movement at all, for that matter.

“Uh, Fizzy? What’s going on?”

“I’ve no idea, but I doubt it’s a good thing.”

“I motion to leave immediately!”

“Seconded!”

The golem bolted for the door with her new acquisition in-hand, but the bulkhead was sealed up tight and refused to budge. Fizzy tried ramming it down with her shoulder, shield and new wrench in turn, but despite the solid impacts, she barely even made a dent in it. She then heard a loud hissing noise from behind her, and immediately turned on her heel, ready to defend herself at a moment’s notice.

However, the source of this disturbance was not a security measure of some sort, but the central platform that the impractically huge automata was resting on. A trap door was opening underneath the iron giant’s feet, causing the whole thing to wobble and shake unsteadily. This opening in the floor then expanded all at once, and the Original Artificer’s unfinished creation plummeted into the darkness below. It made a horrible racket as it bounced off of the vertical shaft’s walls, but no matter how long Fizzy waited, she didn’t hear anything that sounded like an impact with the bottom.

“Do vzryva ostalos dve minuty i tridtsat sekundy!”

Not that she could hear much over the damn voice that sporadically screamed at her in that weird language, or the blaring sirens that refused to die down.

“So… is it me or are we expected to go down that stupidly deep hole?”

“I don’t know, Plus. It doesn’t seem like we have much of a choice though.”

“Yeah, but that’s just the thing. I have the weirdest feeling that something or someone has been guiding us the whole time.”

“Funny. I was thinking the same thing.”

The Vault not only sealed her inside after she went in, but it just so happened that this was the only unlocked door she found after dealing with that token security force. Not only that, but now that she thought back on it, the flickering light that directed her to the goliath’s helmet had returned to normal once she picked up the wrench she was currently holding onto. And then, once she showed signs of being satisfied with the ‘find,’ the room started doing… whatever it was trying to do.

In short, the Vault was actively reacting to her and stringing her along. It was as if the entire sequence of events ever since she unlocked the front door had been orchestrated to guide her here. Of course, it was possible to dismiss these happenings as coincidences, but even a follower of Kevin was having a hard time believing this was all happenstance.

“Do vzryva ostalos dve minuty!”

“Also,” spoke the golem out loud, “is it me or is that thing counting down?”

“What do you mean?”

“Some of the words, they sound vaguely like ‘minutes’ and ‘seconds’ don’t they?”

“Now that you mention it… Yeah, they do.”

“Not only that, but that voice speaks up every 30 seconds precisely. Here, watch.”

The golem held out her free left hand and began to move it up and down at a beat of once per second in accordance with her Tick Counter Skill.

“Twenty seven. Twenty eight. Twenty nine. Thirty!”

And then, as if right on cue-

“Do vzryva ostalos odna minuta i tridtsat sekundy!”

“Okay. This is definitely not a good thing. What is it counting down to, though? I mean as much as I’d like for it to be cookies and sunshine, it’s probably something a lot more horrible.”

“… Hey, Plus? I just had a thought. I seem to recall the main reason why the Ritz has been having so much trouble studying the artifacts left behind by the Original Artificer.”

“What? How is that relevant to our situation?”

“Well… her more complex creations apparently have a habit of, uh, self destructing if thoughtlessly tampered with.”

“I see. And, uh, how bad is this ‘self destruct,’ do you reckon?”

“You remember that asshole that exploded our face off?”

“Of course I do.”

“Imagine something like that, only enveloping the entire Vault.”

“… Fuck.”

“Yeah…”

The two of them then fell into a brief silence with the alarm screeching in the background.

“Do vzryva ostalos odna minuta!”

At least until that voice made itself known yet again.

“But… this is all a guess, isn’t it?” offered Plus. “I mean you could be wrong about all this, right?”

“And if it were any other day, I might agree. However… I’m on a roll.”

“Oh. Right.”

“So. Shall we leap into the hole now?”

“Yes. Let’s.”

It may not have been the smartest decision, but it definitely seemed like a healthier alternative to being blown to smithereens.