I spent the next several minutes bullying Tru into purchasing ad space on a variety of digital platforms from the personal accounts of various different wealthy entrepreneurs. Ones rich enough not to miss the cash, but not enough to have ties to Providence. The platforms covered a wide spread from cooking videos (Gluttony bait), to the occult for obvious reasons, to people looking up tips on how to stop procrastinating. Several I threw in for no other reason than for my own amusement at annoying the new demon lord.

I don’t see why you’d ever need to advertise on a site called Cremation Rings, he complained.

Weddings make people happy, I pointed out. Tez was taking a while so I’d taken up position on top of one of the box cabins where I could simultaneously keep an eye on the other deities and enjoy the ocean views. Don’t you want happy co-workers? If you don’t like it, we can always change it to a Holocaust deniers’ meetup group. Your call.

Their tagline is, ‘They can still walk you down the aisle,’ he persisted.

It’s called targeted marketing, I informed him. Demon lords have to be weird. It’s in the rules, right after the bit where you have to recognisably conform to one of seven arbitrary traits like some kind of divine Myers-Briggs assessment. Except instead of a fun report pandering to your confirmation bias, you get voices in your head and responsibility.

Now that the path between the halves of the island had been opened up, a steady trickle of refugees had been making their way up through the breach to investigate. Every time this happened, Lucy would meet them at the exit and have a quiet word, whereupon they’d turn back looking vaguely confused.

Who made those up, anyway? Tru grumbled. Why is gluttony even a sin?

I don’t think God likes fat people, I answered. You’ve met Lucy; judge for yourself. All the angels were like that, at least when they weren’t busy being flying eye clusters. Between that and the misogyny, I have a running theory he may be very repressed.

That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, said Tru, but he did book the ad.

Down below, Tez stirred in the beach chair, and I warped back over in time to catch the verdict.

“It’s a rudimentary recommendation, but all I have time for,” he confided to his audience of three. “Too many scenarios to cover in one sitting, and plenty can change between now and then. That said, it does look like Lucifer is a good match for Enki. And Loki, you’re by far the best-placed to deal with Legba.”

It didn’t surprise me; Legba was known for being slippery. Still, I was going to have my work cut out for me. The CMO was the member of the executive I knew the least about, and I’d have to do some background checks to fully understand what I’d be dealing with. Languages and ghosts were about all I had to go on.

“Mayari and I can take Vishnu and Yahweh,” Tez continued, after some hesitation. “It’s a bit of a toss-up who takes who.”

“You’re our concealment expert,” Lucy reminded him. “That makes you the best counter to Dad’s clairvoyance.”

“We don’t want either of them seeing us coming,” said Tez. “Especially Vishnu, so it’s not as obvious as it seems. Ideally we’d have both of us facing them together; my stealth plus Mayari’s artillery. No, Loki, I’m not duct-taping hand mirrors to myself.”

“It’s not dignified, but it works,” I said. “You wouldn’t even have to be there in person. Imagine if we had fifty of you running around. Ten on one before we even get to the rest of us.”

“And completely blinded to the future. I’m not going to repeat our previous mistakes and muddy the waters with multiple seers. Prophecy’s only helpful while it’s reliable.” He grimaced. “That said, you realise I’m sourcing this intel from situations where I’m literally in the firing line trying not to get caught, having everyone else’s information fed to me by excitable demons who keep getting themselves killed. Reliability is something we’ll need to work on.”

“Any contact details for the demons?” I queried. It would save time with the interviews.

“Thanks to someone’s meddling,” he responded icily, “Vishnu is expecting to meet with me in ten minutes. You get what I can give you in the time I have.”

“Then I’ll face Yahweh,” Mayari volunteered. “As I see it, Vishnu is the greatest threat. Clairvoyance from Yahweh or no, a failure with Vishnu may as well be an automatic wipe. Besides, if Operations expects to be working with you, Tez, you’ll have a plausible reason to be hanging around its head of department.”

“Which just leaves Durga,” Tez finished. He leant forward, elbows on knees, and laced his fingers together.

“What about me?”

The warrior goddess reclined on the sand next to me, legs forward and crossed at the ankles, as she propped herself up by her arms. She’d reverted back to her usual style of dress, the injured arm now clearly visible in a gold sling. I had no idea how long she’d been there. One of these days, I’d have to devote some time to figuring out how she kept doing that.

Tez shrugged. “There’s no bad match for you,” he said. “As long as they don’t see you coming.”

“They won’t.”

“Exactly,” he agreed. “You’re our strongest – and more importantly, fastest – asset. I wouldn’t tangle with Vishnu, but anyone else is game. Hera should be the most straightforward of the lot. Once you’re done with her, you can help the others.”

‘Straightforward’ was not how I would have described Hera. Providence’s CFO was a powerful summoner and transformer, and distrustful to boot. Considering how many personal enemies she’d made over the millennia, it wasn’t hard to see why. You could argue she’d survived on the back of Yahweh’s protection, but it would be doing her an enormous disservice. Given any chance to react, she could force a transformation on anyone who opposed her, and that was before she reached the stage of raising an army. Durga would have one chance to strike true before she was turned into a desk lamp.

“I should take Hera,” I countered. “There’s nothing she can throw at me I can’t undo. Or trample, if it comes to that. It’s a no-brainer.”

“Two problems,” argued Tez. “One, we need you to deal with Legba. Well, you or Lucifer, but he’s needed with Enki. Two, you’re not as immune as you think. In a vacuum, Hera’s power overrides yours.” He shrugged. “Sorry to burst your bubble like this. In the end, nothing beats a shot to the head.”

“I suppose the time loop’s getting full these days,” I muttered, not quite believing my ears. Mayari patted me on the shoulder.

Massaging his temples, Tez abandoned the beach chair and rose to his feet. “I’m seeing a lot of trouble ahead. But who has time for life and death when they could be filling out induction paperwork?”

I could feel his eyes boring into me as he said it.

“Be careful what you sign,” Lucy advised. “Read everything multiple times. And whatever you do, don’t let them trick you into nullifying any existing alliances or obligations in a non-competition clause. If you can avoid entering any loyalty arrangements, do.”

Tez made the kind of noise suggesting he’d be happier with his hands around the throat of something beloved and Loki-shaped. I was beginning to think it might be an inherent trait of his new position. “I’ll figure it out,” he said. “Before you got here, I was using most of this meeting time to consult you for legal advice. Don’t think your future self gets off lightly, either.”

“Any time.” Lucy grinned, doubtless secure in the knowledge it wouldn’t be inflicted on him in his particular timeline.

Mayari nodded. “I think we’ve all got some research to do, but we don’t want to wait long. It’s Friday now; let’s give ourselves some time to find out our targets’ weaknesses before we reconvene. We all have some high-priority homework to do.”

“Homework only,” I jumped in hurriedly. “It has to stay secret. Every time we add these plots back into the primary timeline, some other seer could be watching them play out for their nightly gossip trivia. Commit to being hands-off until Tez gives the disparaging grunt of approval.”

“Sure,” said Tez. “You do that.” He vanished in a shimmer of ethereal shadows stark against the white sand of the beach, leaving the chair behind him. It was a nice chair. I suspected it would end up as a bonus housewarming gift at one of the boxy villas.

I realised I was holding an object in my left hand with no memory of how it had arrived there. A copy of Durga’s access card stared up at me, her official photo the picture of serenity in contrast to the rather stressed goddess in front of me.

“The rest is on its way,” she said. “Vish made a fuss about it, but I don’t think he suspects anything. Or rather, he’s suspicious of Odin as a general principle. Watch yourself.”

Not what I’d hoped to hear, but it could have been worse.

“I turned in the knife, too,” Durga continued. “After, er –“ She glanced at the scanner still in Mayari’s hand, “– contingencies.”

“Indeed,” said the moon goddess. “We need a way of disabling the others and keeping them contained, but we can take Hera out of the picture for good. Although with resurrection on the table, we might want to hold off using that ace until it isn’t a danger.”

“My vote goes for permanency,” Durga replied. “I won’t miss. But if Hera is anything like Loki, there’s a chance she’ll recover if we don’t use the right weapon.”

That the queen of stodge could be considered anywhere remotely near my ballpark left a sour taste in my mouth. Why did it have to be Hera? She was so boring. Not even in an obsessive way like Themis. Even the way in which she was boring was boring; just dullness the whole way down. I supposed it made sense, given she led the spreadsheet department. “It’s completely different,” I insisted, crossing my arms over my chest. “She can’t even shapeshift.”

“You don’t know that,” Durga said in a consolatory tone. I had the distinct impression everyone else was politely ignoring me.

“Yes I do. You don’t go as long as she has without changing something.”

“That may be true for most people,” she replied, “but – and this is important to remember – Hera is hardcore.”

And boring. “And also not a shapeshifter. Listen, it’s perfectly within my rights to be petty. This has all been very sudden. It’s a lot to take in.”

Lucy and Mayari were eying each other, which I chose to ignore for the time being.

“Look at it this way,” Durga suggested. “In a few short days, or whenever this plan happens, I’ll kill her and then you’ll be the best again.”

I wanted to protest I was the best now, except that the chest hole made it an obvious lie. “She’s not to be underestimated,” I admitted grudgingly. “If she was more fallible, the tyrant wouldn’t want her as one of his cronies. Choosing between that and making sandwiches for Zeus isn’t exactly a tough decision.”

“Have you considered,” Durga spoke thoughtfully, “that Hera’s power might be reliant on the hierarchy she upholds? Time and again, she clings to structures which hurt her. She may climb them to the top, but is ultimately still a victim.”

“Then she’s about to be doubly dethroned,” Lucy stated, not batting an eyelid.

“With adamantine,” Durga remarked, nodding. “That knife – I know where it comes from. It’s a crude fragment of the Harpe of Cronus. You can still see patches where the old detailing hasn’t worn away. It’s possible Odin cut this from the Harpe before the rest was destroyed.”

“More than possible,” I said. R&D were in charge of all things artifacts, after all. “He’s got some real serial killer habits. He probably had an answer stashed away for all the major pantheons.”

“I’m not familiar with the Harpe,” Mayari admitted. “Will it impact our goals?”

“I doubt it,” said Durga. “It’s much simpler than Lucifer’s spear, and that might be why Odin chose it. The real powerhouse weaponry of the Greek pantheon would be harder to keep hidden. It’s possible it could have some kind of imbued power to it, but we’d need an artificer to know for sure. Even if it did, those kind of enhancements are there to aid the wielder, not work against them.”

Cronus, Zeus’ father, was older than sin – literally, if I had the timeline right – and by all accounts had set the example his son later followed by doing unspeakable things to his own father. It made the modified seer-slayer ancient even among ancients, and probably now also cursed by some sort of accumulative family grudge. Really, after two previous generations betraying their parents, the Greek pantheon should have seen Apollo’s coming. I could only imagine how Zeus would react upon finding out his grandfather, son and now wife had all been damaged by variants of the same weapon.

Durga’s job was obvious, at least. I was less enthused about mine. On one hand, this could be the ideal opportunity to finally build my beautiful deathtrap gauntlet. On the other, I didn’t see Legba as the type of person easily lured into it. Half the job wouldn’t even be the offense itself, but isolating each committee member at a set time and place. We’d need access to their calendars and a response to changes in plan. That meant intel.

And without Apollo available, I knew who’d have to get it.

Just as Lucy started to speak, I noticed Mayari’s distracted expression and followed her gaze to the distant horizon. The devil trailed off a moment later, and Durga also frowned, tension in the vicinity rising with the length of the silence.

“Brace yourselves,” said Mayari. She shifted her stance, feet apart, and spread her fingers, letting the scanner drop to the sand.

There was nothing there, at least not to any of my senses. Judging by the others’ expressions, it wasn’t just me. Other than a slight breeze carrying the distant chatter of tired voices, the island was as quiet and serene as any I’d seen.

That changed the moment Mayari shared her perception.

Tsunami. At the distances Mayari covered – which turned out to be substantial, if nonspecific – it felt nothing more than a gentle swell in the ocean; the rise a cable left when pulled under the surface of a stiff rug. Then the scale of said cable kicked in, reaching on into the distance on either end until Mayari’s awareness of it petered into nothingness. Less gentle by far.

It approached fast. By the time it twigged, I could see the beach water receding back across the sand, revealing more of Tez’s too-pristine handiwork.

“It can’t be an attack,” Lucy muttered, brow furrowed in thought. His young body paced back and forth, but his eyes didn’t leave the wave. “Or could it?” He didn’t have much time to figure it out, in any case.

“I don’t know,” said Mayari. Her eyes didn’t leave the horizon. “I’ve got this. But based on its size, it has a far reach. It’s likely to hit other shores. I’ll follow it round, see if I can reach any of them in time.”

I could see it now, an almost-imperceptible distant rise. If it was an attack, it had to have been on the mortal population. Natural disasters did happen on their own, but the timing seemed a striking coincidence.

Singapore would come out unscathed thanks to the Themis bubble, though it had enough problems of its own. The rest – who knew?

Durga grimaced, but made no move to act. Walls of water were hard to beat with fighting techniques. If not for my injury, I might have been able to do something at the cost of incriminating public attention. As it was, I’d be joining Durga in team ‘stabbing ineffectually’.

At her side, Mayari raised her hands level with her chest, hair twining and fanning out around her face as gravity’s hold forgot to work for a few moments. She took a deep breath.

Before she could act, however, reality glitched and transformed.

My eyes stung, blurring through a layer of ocean water. I could taste salt on my lips, even as liquid dripped from my body. Hair and clothes clung fast to my skin, and water pooled in my ears and nose as if I’d been swimming.

I shook myself dry and found myself confronting a changed beach.

In the span of a heartbeat, the island had gone from dry and calm to soaked in a blanket of water ankle-deep. The surface was rippling back and forth, echoes of some prior movement beyond my perception. Splashes sounded from a few places nearby where large fish had been deposited ashore, struggling to breathe in what would probably be their final moments. One had landed at Durga’s feet, and she nudged it to safety with a waterlogged sandal. This being the world we lived in, a fair amount of plastic had also joined the fish, making artificial islands in the sand as the water made its way slowly back out to sea. So much for Tez’s pristine artisanry.

Shouts from the other side of the island confirmed we weren’t alone in our predicament. None of us had moved, but the tsunami had been and gone. Or had it? Mayari’s relay of the approaching lump, still being shared with the rest of us, now showed nothing, the anomaly missing. Yet aside from the water and its marine occupants, nothing sat out of place. No leaves had fallen from the trees. Even the beach chairs sat happily nearby, unaffected by a force which should have thrown them halfway into the jungle.

The four of us shared stunned glances.

“Was that what I think it was?” Lucy suggested after a moment.

The flicker in reality; the sudden saturation of the landscape; the fact we were unharmed and untouched except by water - it all spoke to one thing.

Time had frozen for all of us on a vast geographic scale. Only the water had passed through it unaffected, dispersing its kinetic energy harmlessly against us. True, if Mayari was right about the scale of the event, there’d still be enormous amounts of coastal property damage. But many lives would have been spared.

In Apollo’s absence, in an unprecedented public display of power, Vishnu had moved.