《Necrotourists》The Republic of Gravia - 3: Shades

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The handcuffs around our wrists clanged as we moved into our prison cell. Unlike the prisons in the elven lands, this place was secured tightly to hold both the living and the undead of every type. It made one wonder how diverse the Undying City truly was.

The skeletal monsters led Kendra, Lard, and I into a cell before uncuffing us and leaving. Kendra quickly checked the cell and found out that they had a very strong anti-magic barrier in place, so she was miffed that she couldn’t practice her spells to pass the time. On the other hand, Lard looked very happy in his little corner.

“And why are you smiling, tubby?” I asked.

“Fu fu fuh.”

“I told you to stop laughing like a freak.”

Lard coughed awkwardly then continued, “Well, you see, I, Vakasa of the Darkness, have always wanted to be inside a jail like this. It makes me feel like a delinquent of the highest magnitude! I am now the Imprisoned Darkness Demon Half-Prince of-”

“If you keep yapping, I will break your legs,” I threatened.

Lard groaned, but stopped anyway. With a dejected sigh, he said, “I wish I had a harmonica right now to pass the time, though.”

“Harmonica? What is that supposed to be?”

“It’s a… you know…” Lard made a pose as if he was ready to eat a sandwich before continuing, “It’s a musical instrument which you blow into it.”

“I didn’t take you for the type to practice music.”

“Of course! How else would I, Vakasa of the Darkness, create my magnificent theme music when I deliver the final blow against the evil demon lord?!”

I scratched my head then buried my hand into my robes. After finding what I was fishing for, I asked, “Can you play a violin?”

“W-Wait, why do you have a violin inside your body?”

“Why not?”

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“Do you keep your things inside your body?” Lard asked with a glint of curiosity. On the side, Kendra didn’t say anything but she was also taking a peek at me, unable to hide her fascination as well.

“Well, yes. But it’s not as if I keep weapons of mass destruction inside my robes. Here, let me see what else I have…” I searched my robes for a while before resuming, “This one’s my pet rock-”

As I took my rock out, I accidentally spilled some objects onto the ground. Coins of every kind from every nation and time, glowing scrolls, and a literal blob of blood scattered all over the floor.

“Wait, does that scroll say Prototype No-clear Spell?” Lard asked.

Damn it! I forgot this idiot could somehow understand every language including the Common which I used normally!

“You’re wrong. It’s a baking recipe,” I denied while stuffing my stuff back into my robes.

“Don’t you have something that could get us out?” Kendra complained.

Just before I could answer, a rasping laugh came from the prison cell sitting on the opposite side of ours. Inside it, there was another lich wearing a black outfit. “Get out? There’s no getting out of here. Do you know where you are?”

“The Undying City?” Kendra asked.

“Not only that! This is the Undying City’s maximum security prison, mortal! They keep the ones with the worst crimes here, locked for all of eternity!” the lich rasped.

“What?! Impossible! We were just passengers! We did no harm!” I pointed out.

“Oh, really? I could tell the crimes people committed just from the aura they emit once they landed here. Let me see…” the lich looked at Lard then smiled. “You once confessed to a girl in front of your entire academy!”

“NOOOO! DON’T! THE PAST I’VE SEALED!” Lard screamed, keeling over the floor.

“And you got rejected!”

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“WHHHHYYYY?!”

“Wait, that’s not a crime…” the lich mumbled as he scratched his chin.

I pushed Lard aside then asked, “And you? Why are you here?”

The lich inspected me then chuckled. “You’re not from around here, aren’t you? I am one of the Top Four Godfathers of the Undying City, head of one of the largest crime clans in the entire nation. Of course, I would never admit it in front of the judges, but hey, I am what I am.”

I tilted my head with doubt and questioned, “You’re some kind of mob boss? Why don’t you go and use your connections to get yourself out?”

The lich laughed once again then shook his head. “The Undying City’s Police Department is incorruptible, I’m afraid. At least, not with that pig-headed bastard sitting as head commissioner. As I said, once you’re here, nobody’s letting you out.”

“What? Nobody?!” I asked.

“Yes! Nobody! Especially not the head commissioner!” the lich declared.

We quieted down when we heard the doors were being opened in the distant hall. A pair of heavily armored beings approached my cell and looked at me with their ghastly eyes through their black shades.

“A death knight!” Lard shouted.

“Incorrect. They’re death commissioners. It’s a republic so they don’t have landed titles,” Kendra corrected.

The death commissioners knocked their batons against our prison bars and said, “You three. You’re getting out of this place immediately as ordered by the head commissioner. You’ll be meeting him in his office before you leave. We’ll escort you out.”

“What?!” the lich in the other cell shouted.

“I guess we got no choice then. Come on, kids. Let’s go.” I casually shrugged before lugging Lard, who was still in a half-dead state from the lich’s attack, over my shoulders.

As I left my prison cell, I could feel a sort of silent cry for help burning against my back. In response, I simply waved my hand.

We were transported from the maximum security prison to a large police headquarters nearby. Death commissioners wearing black shades rushed in and out of the building in their bright blue painted armor. They also had fancy painted carriages with undead hands which automatically turned the wheels. In fact, this was the common design of the carriages inside the city.

“When I, Vakasa of the Darkness, heard of a city of the undead, I, Vakasa of the Darkness, didn’t think it would be like this…” Lard moaned woefully. “Hey, did you know anything about this?”

“No, I lived under a literal rock for a thousand years.” I shook my head before dropping him onto the floor.

“Please do not litter on the floor, sir,” one of the death commissioners warned.

“I, Vakasa of the Darkness, am not trash! Yours truly is the high prince of-”

“Sorry, constable. Won’t happen again!” I said as I propped Lard back up.

The death commissioners escorted me and the kids to the top of the building. To describe the top floor of the headquarters, I only had one word: fancy. There was just a weird feeling of both cleanliness and vile disgust in the way the room was arranged. From the neatly arranged documents to the marble busts of skeleton heads, they didn’t exactly exude the feeling of ‘undead’.

At the center of the room was a man sitting on a rotating chair with his back turned to us. The death commissioners left the room without a word and closed the door behind us, leaving us with the strange man.

Just as I was about to say something, the man rotated his chair to face us. He nodded his decaying boar-like head and greeted, “Bahas, you son of a bitch. How dare you live?”

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