In the dead of night, the crunch of dry leaves being broken resounded near me. Between the rustle of the winds shaking the leaves and the clanks of plate armor moving, there was nothing else to be heard.

“Are you sure this is the right way, Temp-Boss?” Gardener asked me.

“Approximately. It can’t be helped. The guy we mugged a few days ago was immune to zombification even after we chopped his left arm off so I had no choice but to pry off information off his head the old fashioned way.”

I raised my hand and balled it into a fist, stopping my group. Crouching low, I tried to listen for any noise. My vision blacked out and all I could feel was the vibration coming from the ground. Although my senses weren’t as good as that elf Maven, I was still good at surveying the ground.

“The area around us was disturbed recently,” I muttered.

“Without a doubt, especially since there are four undead and a bird here.” Gardener shrugged.

“Croo?” Lady Cass cawed while tilting her head.

Since these knights were immune to conventional magic, Phollician Fire could actually be useful in here since it was one of the few types of magic to ignore magic immunity. Ever since Lady Cass was bestowed a name by Boss himself, I had treated her as an equal of some sort. Thus I couldn’t just force her to come, I had to convince her that I would give her some delicious seeds.

I don’t have any delicious seeds, though…

I got up and pointed at a direction. “Their base is there.”

It would’ve looks like I got lucky this time. Prodding the minds of recently dead people usually yielded nothing. It wasn’t that they gave nothing useful. It’s just that they give literally nothing.

A blank mind. A white slate. A jarring silence.

Fortunately for me, this man had probably been thinking about his comrades in the last minute before we beat him into the afterlife. But since the memory I got from the dead man was vague, it took us a few days to find the correct place.

After a few minutes of walking, we spotted a small base. It was something between an outpost and a wooden fort. Sentries were placed and heavily armed people were stationed on the walls. I would have no doubt that if we confronted them directly, we would win but Boss always emphasized winning battles in the most complex ways since it would be a lot more ‘fun’.

Fun for who? Maybe for him? Who knows. If he finds it fun, then I, too, shall find it fun.

I placed my hand against my chin and froze in place for a few minutes. Staring at the ground, I saw some insects crawling around as my mind drifted away.

…

We can’t use magic too much. They’re immune to it.

What’s with that centipede?

Gardener also mentioned that they know demon spells, thus they could be a headache.

Spiders…spiders…

Eight-legged travelers. Such a bliss not knowing the power of magic. Perhaps having them as undead pets would be better.

How am I supposed to siege a fort with only four undead and a cassowary?

Crawl crawl…

Wait…

I get it.

…

I turned my head to Gardener and he became startled.

“Whoa! Damn it! I hate it how you freeze and suddenly start moving without warning.”

“Would you like me to install light bulb on my head that turns on whenever I have an idea?”

“That sounds odd, but it would be better than nothing. What’s your plan?”

“We’re going to siege that fort.”

“I suppose we could break through the fort gate using the knight brothers,” Gardener turned to the undead knights behind him and continued, “but what if they overwhelm us?”

“Why would they overwhelm us?”

“They have more numbers.”

“Doesn’t matter how much they throw at us. We’ll slaughter them.”

“I don’t mean that they would overpower us. A lot of them would be able to escape once they realize we’re too strong. We don’t have the numbers to take them all.”

“You’re mistaken. We have the numbers,” I said as I placed my palm onto the dirt. Removing my palm revealed a hole drilled into the ground, allowing a tiny spiderling to crawl out.

“Summon your brothers and sisters. The enemies of Boss await consumption,” I ordered and the tiny spider crawled back into the hole.

My group stood up and approached the fort with our weapons ready. The heavy armor clanking and giant cassowary immediately caught the attention of the order knights who screamed, “HALT!”

“State your business!” A fully armored man shouted at us from the fort wall. The archers on the towers had their bows visibly drawn, aimed at us.

“My apologies, we are looking for a particular dagger that my friend had lost,” I shouted in response.

“Look somewhere else!”

“No, no. You misunderstood. You people stole it from him.”

“Nonsense! We haven’t seen this man before!”

“Is that so? But one of your men had killed him so after we resurrected him, he’s a bit bummed out that he lost a weapon his superior, an Archlich, had given.”

“W..WHAT?! ARCHERS, LOOSE!”

Before the arrows could even be sent flying, holes started to erupt all around the fort. I stood in place as a giant eight-legged beast used its body to protect me from the arrows. Cass started to cock her head nervously around as she probably remembered these guys in Angolia.

“Giant spiders! We’re under attack by giant spiders!”

“Not just giant spiders! They’re undead!”

Swarms of undead spiders started to pour out of the tunnels, slowly surrounding the fort. The spiders themselves tried to climb onto the walls but they were being repulsed by the order knights.

“You two. Bring down the gate.” I pointed at the two undead knights.

Putting their shields side by side, they charged as one against the wooden gate. They then turned their shields sideways and started to batter the gate down.

“Kill the armored men!” Several order knights had come to the wall facing the gate with their arms visibly black from corruption. They held their hands up, conjuring up balls of space. No, it was closer to erasing existence.

I slammed my cane down and pointed at the order knights. Spiders started to throw themselves on top of the undead knights, sacrificing themselves mindlessly. As the wooden gate started to split into multiple pieces, spiders started to flow into the fort, forming a river of black, gray and brown.

The order knights began using a variety of cosmic spells, some lashing out with a whip made out of space, others just throwing bolts of emptiness. Nevertheless, we should be able to overrun the knights in a few-…

The ground shattered as black tentacles flew up. Spiders were skewered left and right as they were unable to dodge in the last minute. The number of tentacles intensified at the center of the fort, where I was currently headed to.

As I walked through the shattered fort gates, large spiders tore through the order knights while smaller spiders were shooting balls of webs from a distance. The battle made way for me as I casually passed through, tapping my cane onto the ground as I moved.

The two undead knights and Gardener escorted me to the center of the fort, where there was an order knight different from the others. Unlike most of the order knights who only wore a simple black trench coat and chainmail, this knight was fully plated in dark blue armor. Light refused to shine on the armor and both of his arms were corrupted by the gauntlets the order knights used.

As he thrusted his hands into the air, several tentacles sporadically burst from the ground, guarding him. The spiders were stuck with just encircling the last knight as they couldn’t get any closer to him.

“P-pl..ease….mercy…” My enjoyable walk was disturbed when a half-dead teenage boy grabbed my foot. Below his waist was a massive gaping wound, and his pale hands was shaking from anxiety.

One of my undead knights raised his sword and chopped off the hand intruding upon my personage and I continued my way as the boy screamed with his last breath.

“You monsters…” The last order knight cursed.

“Dear, oh dear me. We are simply retaliating so you should understand that I am simply removing rude people like you in this world.” I shrugged mockingly as I faced the last knight.

“Removing us from the world? Ironic. To think that we were the one removing scum like you…How the tables have turned,” The knight calmly replied despite his upper body twitching.

His dark blue sallet covered his face, but I could see through his helmet’s eye holes. The knight carried the eyes of pure anger and determination to destroy us, even at the cost of his life.

Tentacles also surrounded him, lashing out at any spider dumb enough to get close. His corruption might be strong enough to wipe us out just by being close or he might try some sort of demonic spell that would take everyone with him to the afterlife. It would’ve looked like we reached a stalemate.

The key term here is ‘looked like’.

I turned to my back and looked at the giant bird following my back. She titled her head then realized what was going to happen.

She shook her head and I nodded. She started to shake her head harder and I ramped up my nodding as well.

Sighing, Cass gave up and twisted her neck to grab her sword hanging on her side. She closed her eyes and spread her wings.

“Caw.”

With just one simple caw, Cass invoked her name given by Boss. Her normally blue feathers turned orange and red. Fire erupted from the edges of her wing and her head. Cass’ beak also became razor sharp like a heavenium knife and her eyes glowed red.

“Lady Sarjay II. In the name of Boss, attack!” I ordered and pushed my hand forward.

No further words were needed as the bird charged at the order knight, sword in beak.

*

*

*

Rookie’s body moved with a blast. His back was converted to include an array of spells which would allow an intense boost of speed to the point that his body was now capable of flight. Mooscly didn’t see me zip around the side as she was too distracted trying to pummel Muscella into whey powder.

Constant anti-gravity spell allowed Rookie’s feet to slide through the ground to pick up more speed. I was aiming for the chain on her neck that was now loose. If I could perhaps tug her down…

“Big man!” Musclella shouted as Mooscly lost interest and switched targets to me.

“Satel, go up!” I shouted as I started to press buttons on the fleshy ceiling of the cockpit. Rookie stopped, crouched and jumped up in one quick succession before Mooscly’s hooves smashed into the ground we were in. As the Gundead flew, it spun and launched several bone spikes from its body.

“Greater Undead Offense: Missile Arrays!” I shouted as I pressed the final button to launch the last pair of missiles. Mooscly was trying to catch us like mosquitoes but Satel was able to dodge every attack.

All the while, the missiles escorted me through the air like a pack of migrating birds. Trails of blue smoke tailed the bone spikes as the Gundead continued to spin around Mooscly.

“I need a good position to launch the missiles!” I shouted to Satel.

“Yeah, yeah! I get it! It’s not exactly easy to control a body controlling a body while dodging fists the size of a small carriage, you know?” Satel shouted back as her hands twisted all over the place, trying to maintain extreme speeds with precision.

Mooscly’s rampage was temporarily halted as Musclella hugged one of her legs. The musclewoman tightened her hug until her face was flushed red before she lifted the entire cow’s leg up.

“ARRRGHH! HAROOLLLDDD SAVE ME!” Mooscly screamed as she lost balance.

“Now!” I screamed as dozens of missiles flew towards Mooscly. The bone spikes started to explode randomly, creating a screen of smoke to cover my advance towards the chain on Mooscly’s neck as she fell.

“Taste my bitterness!” Mooscly thrusted her hand into her jar of magic ice cream and started splattering it all over the place. As a huge gunk of ice cream headed towards us, Satel panicked and steered us off-course.

Although she managed to almost dodge the entire thing, one of Rookie’s legs got grazed by the ice cream boulder, causing the Gundead to spin out of control. As we swirled chaotically, I attempted to grab the chain while moving us as close as possibly to Mooscly, who was still falling.

“The velocity given that the cow will drop…” I started to mutter to myself as flickers of images started to pop up at Satel’s screen.

“I-I have no i-idea what’s goooing ooooon!” She screamed as the Gundead twirled mid-air.

Damn it!

The Gundead’s fingers barely scratched the chain, missing the opportunity! I braced for impact as Rookie plummeted onto the ground. My teeth started to chatter as the impact resonated within the cockpit. Not only was it from Rookie’s crash, but also from the earthquake formed by Mooscly’s fallen body.

At the very least, Satel was fine. However, I wasn’t sure if we could keep this up at this rate. Although I upgraded Rookie, his body isn’t indestructible.

“One more go!” I jammed my hands back into the fleshy walls, propping Rookie up. I heard a manly woman scream and I turned the Gundead’s head to the owner of such a masculine tribal scream.

“PPPPRROOOOOTEEEEIIIIINNNN!”

Musclella was about to cannonball Mooscly.

Holy…

Shh-----…

I raised the mobile suit’s arm to cover itself from the massive muscle magic explosion. Rookie’s feet had to be anchored down onto the ground lest it risked being thrown by Musclella’s impact.

Once again, dust danced everywhere, forming a blinding cloud. I concentrated my mana reserves to the Gundead’s sight but still couldn’t make out what happened.

Moving the Gundead forward, I pushed the dust away with Rookie hands. Only the thumping of Rookie’s upgrade feet was heard in the arena. It sounded too quiet…

“Bricks? You alright?”

“Mo…” A voice was heard.

“Mo…?” I echoed inquisitively.

“..Mooouahahaha! MOOOOO!”

Uh oh…

The ground shook again as the dust finally settled down and my vision was clear again. Mooscly was still holding her favorite tub of ice cream with one arm while Musclella was unconscious in the colossus minotaur’s free hand.

Impossible! Musclella’s spell could have been an equivalent to a near-divine spell! Just how tough are the musclemen to be able to wrestle the ice cream jars off these heartbroken cows?!

“Like I said! I am strong! I don’t need no bull! I am a strong independent minotaur!” Mooscly shouted as she raised her arms in arrogance.

“Wrong grammar! If you don’t need no bull, it means you need one!” I shouted back.

“That is….UWAAAAAHHH! HAROOOLD!” Mooscly started weeping again.

“What now? Without Musclella distracting her, we’ll never get behind her anymore,” Satel voiced her concern without lifting her head from her screen.

“If one near-divine spell won’t do it, then how about…” Rookie’s body started to vibrate hard before I could finish my sentence. “…multiple near-divine spells?!”

Rookie started to shed his outer layer as the layers gained a life of their own. It was like clone of Rookie started to pop out of his body. Each clone started to flank my sides until there were a dozen of them.

“This is a mix of illusion magic and undead magic…” Satel muttered.

“Illusion magic needed to manipulate the target’s vision. However, this variation doesn’t need to. The clones are just hollow copies of the chosen undead. This is true trickery at work,” I explained.

I freed one of my hands and pressed a section of buttons, each glowing green as I pressed them.

“How are you going to control the illusions? With simple commands?”

“Like a true lich,” I answered and commanded, “This is platoon leader 1-1 Gundead Rookie OG. Divide yourselves into three equal teams. All squad leaders, check in.”

“What are you…” Satel’s confusion was cut off by a familiar voice.

“This is 2-1, flanking left. Ready to roll out.” My own voice echoed back from the cockpit.

“Wait…did you just split your mind to…”

“3-1 here, right, right, right, right. Let’s kill,” A slightly psychopathic voice came from the right.

“T-this is 4-1. Oh Abyss…I hope I don’t get the suicide mission…” A slightly disgruntled voice was heard.

“2-1, you’re flanking from the side. 3-1, you’ll lead the charge. 4-1, you’ll be casting spells from the second squad’s opposite direction. Gundead Suits, roll out!” I pushed forward without warning Satel, who was utterly confused by the whole ordeal.

Every Rookies’ feet started to blast fire as they all charged forward. The vanguard took flight, taking the initiative in pissing off Mooscly by shouting insults at her.

“HA HA HA! HE BROKE UP WITH YOU FOR A PIECE OF JUNK!”

“That sounds very depressing. I’d rather kill myself.”

“Cow? Beef. Steak! Mmmmm!”

My own voices started to boom, each with different personalities. Team chatter started to invade the cockpit, flooding my thoughts as I tried to position Rookie’s position to strike Mooscly.

“We’re still going for the chain, right?” Satel asked.

“That chain is just an ordinary chain. If we’re going to pull her down, we might as well just brute force it,” I answered. My favorite answer – Brute force.

“This is 2-1! We’re trying to get behind! 4-1, I need disruptive spells on target’s eyes, over.”

“T-this is 4-1. I got you, I got you. Please don’t scream at me, it stresses me.”

I saw the support Gundeads shoot out orbs of bright light towards Mooscly, blinding her. Unlike illusions, the clones has a form of conduit of mana which allows me (or my alternate me) to cast spells from.

I tapped onto my earhole before asking, “3-1, what is the situation? I’m going to start making my move.”

Satel throttled her controls forward as my Gundead flew upwards. I observed the battle between a giant cow and a bunch of paper-thin clones.

“This is 3-2. 3-1 just died. How depressing. I wish I was dead like that psycho bastard.”

“3-2! Watch your left before you turn into that psycho, 3-3 out!”

Mooscly swatted another clone down with her fist as she moved around, trying to get a better position while defending her back. This was probably how the musclemen fought the minotaurs; By overwhelming them with numbers.

Good, good. She’s now solely focused on defending her back, I just had to be where she least expects it – From the front.

“This is 2-3! I’m losing my-…Bwaaaahhh!” Static followed the destruction of two clones at once as Mooscly swiped the floor with her feet, eliminating most of the flankers trying to get behind her.

Mooscly grabbed more ice cream and threw it at the ranged clones, scattering them into chaos. “B-by the Abyss! Retreat! There’s too much saltiness and bitterness! I’m-..Argghh!” The clones started to lose numbers as Mooscly got angrier.

“Is this all you’ve got?!” She bellowed.

“Nope!” I shouted as Rookie’s body was throttled forward at the maximum speed. From the highest point of the arena possible, I dived down to Mooscly like a missile.

“All units! Distract her!” I shouted as the intense speed started to make me lose control of other functions. The remaining clones buzzed around the cow making her turn her body towards us unintentionally.

Just before I collided with her, I transferred all mana into strengthening Rookie as much as possible.

“OOOOOOOOF!” Mooscly screamed as Rookie’s body slammed onto Mooscly’s center. Without letting her recover, I gripped onto her body as hard as Rookie could. As the cow’s body slid backwards from the impact, I twisted her body into forming the biggest suplex the world had ever seen.

The colossus minotaur was twisted, lifted and thrown onto her back with one full slam.

Then…there was silence.