It could be said that vampires were meant to rule over all the lesser beings. However, there is an unspoken rule that states that every saying should have a bit of irony in them. There was truth in that. In fact, I was looking at that truth right now.

“Alright, Horatio. Cometh at me.” My master beckoned me with his defenseless stance. I tensed my right arm and continued to do so until my flesh started to tear itself. My arm started to extend, bone molding into a blade. I held my breath and prepared to pounce forward.

As planned, we were at Follis taking a rest before heading towards the portal which would take us to the Great Elven Forests, Sayitsi. Though, it was strange since the undead needed no rest but it was probably my master’s way of lazing around a bit longer before doing work.

“Without restrain, you damned dental-less freak,” Again, my master spouted some nonsense that I couldn’t wrap my head around. My teeth appeared to be perfectly fine. I had filed them this morning, too.

The wind was left in the dust as I sped fast towards my master. I had rapidly moved forward at an intense speed that a small shockwave crushed the ground underneath my foot. Yet, despite my prided speed and combat competency, my blade was stopped by my master’s wrist guard. One swift move, calculated and no effort was wasted. Though, to him, this was probably as easy as breathing. Wait, he didn’t breathe at all…

Surprised by this, I decided to pull my blade back but was grabbed by the head with his gloved hand. I was lifted up then thrown down like a ragdoll. My master straightened his hand for a downwards jab while I was still kissing the floor, but I didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.

I rolled away quickly and got up. Despite my best efforts to gain any information or weaknesses about him, his immense defensive capabilities prevented me from doing so. Perhaps his robes was enchanted or found in some ancient ruins which allowed him to maintain so many shields at the same time?

My master stood straight and did some weird hand movements. Was he trying to hand sign me something or was that a new type of chant? As if answering, my master disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

I could feel his presence within the smoke. This was it! I charged forward, thrusting my blade towards his figure. I could feel the impact of my blade ramming into something hard. Did I get him?

…

Why was my blade skewering a piece of log?

“End of the game, kid. Nothing personal.” My master playfully pointed his sword, Fatebinder, behind my neck.

“Wooh! Very commendable, your lordship!” Lucia cheered and clapped, “That was an interesting spell, your lordship.”

“Lard may be a nutjob, but I could get a lot of amazing ideas from him. I was still trying to research this so-called ‘No Clear’ explosion. So far, this was my only result.” He snapped his finger and pointed towards an open ground. I could feel an intense heat radiating from the empty ground. Mana had started to gather and dance around, as if forming an invisible tornado at the center of his attention. Why did I feel fear from all this? There was nothing going on, and yet I had the urge to run.

“Damn. No yield. I don’t understand. Perhaps I needed something? I’m too prideful to ask that tubby.” My master just waved his hand, dismissing the mana in the air.

I stared at him, trying to study and learn more about this person. Who was this man who offered to free me? Who was willing to not use me as a weapon, but as a butler? A person who treated learning vampire telepathy like it was nothing?

“Got something in your mind, Horatio? Not used to not sucking blood or souls every now and then?” I held the amulet given to me by my master. The amulet, given to me which allowed undead to sustain themselves without sacrificing other lives, was supposedly made in five minutes according to Lucia. I moved my sight to the masked man.

“To be frank, I wish to know more about you,” I answered.

“Oh. How…honest. Look, buddy, I’m only interested in women and maybe gambling and games ocassionally…”

“I do not understand." I shook my head in confusion. Perhaps he misheard me?

“Pfft. Here’s a humorless one. If you wish to know about me, you should get to know my other subordinates first.” He dismissed me by waving his hand away from me.

“Do I walk up to them and ask?” I tilted my head.

“Observe. Use your eyes. Vampires may have shitty dental hygiene but their eyesight is topnotch. I guess asking them works fine, too,” As my master ordered, I couldn’t refuse such a task. It was simple, and out of the ordinary requests that my previous masters would order me.

My previous masters’ orders would always consist of murdering or kidnapping. This master, however, had always tasked me with murdering responsibilities delegated by Sarjay or kidnapping some of Maven’s cakes.

I respectfully bowed and left the castle courtyard. This castle was much bigger than the palace, admittedly. It was placed on a large hill overlooking the town of Follis. I wanted to appreciate the place more, but I had a task to do first.

Not knowing where to start, I had somehow stumbled upon one of my master’s subordinates, the chef Maven. She was busy cooking in the castle’s kitchen, not even noticing that I had entered the vicinity. I decided to observe from a distance first before opening a talk with her.

She skillfully wielded her heavenium knife and chopped mixed vegetables. Every chop was within the context of dividing vegetables and dividing limbs from her enemies. How long had she done this to flawlessly execute those chops?

“If you’re going to stare, you should at least help. Nobody else in this place helps me. Tsk tsk. The knights couldn’t even be trusted. They only know how to make soup out of dirt and mud. As expected of soldiers, they have no taste,” Maven grumbled as she poured the chopped vegetables into a pot. When had she noticed me? Without saying a word, I picked up some vegetables and started washing them.

“So you’re Boss’ new toy, hm? Well, Lucia seems fine so you should be also fine. What do you want?” She went straight to the point as she threw a piece of log onto the open fire stove. I didn't know what to ask her so I simply just asked her the first question that popped earlier.

“How long have you done this? I mean, cooking.”

“A thousand years, or so. Maybe more. I’ve lost count.” Maven didn’t remove her sight from the cooking pot. Her skull lay bare, nothing covering it. It was slightly comical that a chef’s hat was rested on her head. The structure of her skull was different from an average human.

“You’re not human?” I asked the skeleton.

“That’s a bit rude, but yes. I am an elf. Strange, really. The things that I sought to protect once, now being gobbled up by some useless boneheads.” She chuckled to herself.

“Sought to protect?”

“Well, druids and druidesses have to protect grooves, right? I couldn’t help it when I saw those delicious…greenies...mmm…” If she could slobber, Maven would’ve done so. I finished what I could do, saw what I wanted to see and thanked Maven. With a bow, I left the kitchen and started wandering once more.

After asking the black knights patrolling the castle, I went straight towards the dungeon. If I was correct, the spy master Beor was a sadist. Thus, I started following the screams of agony coming from the corners until I found myself staring at a door. I pressed my hand against it and slowly opened it.

“Now, tell me where your other buddies in Follis are. Nobody treads upon Lord Sarjay’s lands without my knowing. Brigands, hooligans and thugs, none shall escape my web. Nobody but the Skeleton Crew operates in Angolia, no, in the continent!” Beor was holding a knife against a man strapped to a stretcher.

“I won’t….I won’t tell you!” The man spat at Beor but he dodged it.

“VERY WELL!” Beor started turning a wheel which stretched the man. Beor laughed while the man screamed in agony, tear and sweat pouring from his unclothed top.

“MWHAHAHAHAA!”

“HARDER!”

“What.” Beor stopped at his tracks, befuddled at the sudden request.

“What?” The man asked back.

I stopped pressing my hand against the door and it creaked. Beor looked behind him and saw me peeking through the door.

“WAIT! THIS ISN’T WHAT IT LOOKS LI-“ Not allowing him to finish, I held my hand against the knob and closed the door shut. I knew I had to escape the place. Something dangerous was happening and I couldn’t muster the courage to stay.

With two of my master’s subordinates observed, I decided to just move on to the next. I was thinking who I should observe next. I was thinking that I could try prying off information from the knights with the large greatshields. The two of them by themselves formed a dangerous defensive team or impromptu battering ram. The two of them had a small profile in most encounters and my master rarely called out to them.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) for me, as I was walking along a long hall decorated with newly made sets of armor, I noticed one of them didn’t belong with the rest. I stopped in front of a ‘statue’ and stared.

“Yo.” The plate of armor saluted me. I could barely see the person inside.

“….Daggerless?”

“Horatio,” He called back. I shook my head in confusion. I was starting to feel like ‘confusion’ would be a constant state of mine as long as I was trying to accomplish the task given to me by my master.

“Could you please enlighten me as to why you are hiding in a set of armor?” I asked. I decided to steel myself against an eccentric answer.

“Well, you see. Sarjay planted some mithril trees a few weeks back. Some of them are now saplings. If my memory served me correctly, mithril trees didn’t talk so it was a surprise to me that one of them tried to talk to me. I got scared and I accidentally killed one.”

“And Sarjay wants you dead?”

“His grandestdaughter does. Quiet now. Here comes the knights.” He froze in place as two knights with a weird…tomato demon dog-thing…approached me.

“Hail, sire. I am looking for Master Daggerless,” One of the knights greeted me.

“For what reason?” I tried to play dumb.

“I have orders from my liege to fashion this noose on his neck and hang him by the town gates until death.” One of the knights held a rope and showed it to me. Wasn't Daggerless dead already?

“Unfortunately, I do not know where Daggerless is.” I shook my head. The knights thanked me and ran off with their attack tomato.

“Thanks, bud. I owe you some. I’ll get you demon blood later.” Daggerless gave me a thumbs up. I was curious how ‘demon blood’ tasted but I doubt that he knew where to get some.

.

.

.

After a long day of observe-and-investigate, I found myself at the castle’s main office. I knocked onto the door and entered. Sarjay was filing some documents while his descendant, Asha, was helping him.

“Sarjay, Asha.” I bowed to them each as a greeting.

“Horatio. What brings you here? I am sure that my damnable Boss has given you some odd quest like fetching cheese.” He didn’t lift his bare skull up as he noted me.

“Yes, you are somewhat correct. If I might ask, why is Asha here? Is she not the Queen of Angolia now?”

“Not yet. She’s Princess Asha. It meant that she still had some degree of freedom. Besides, Argo trusts me. He’s got a lot of business to settle so I’m training Asha on how to be a Queen here, at the very place where I was made King.” He proudly nodded at me while Asha just sighed tiredly.

“After we’re done here, can I go fetch some more mithril samples from our trees? It was bad enough that Daggerless killed one of the saplings. I need...No. I must have more mithril.” She had a crazed look in her eyes. When it comes to smithing, it seemed that she would gamble everything.

“Now, now, my dearest descendant. They’re still saplings so it’ll take a few weeks for them to fully grow even with the power of my lieutenant.”

I silently accepted that I couldn’t find out much about my master’s subordinates. I must apologize to you, master. The only thing that I could find out about your companions was that they are all weird like you. With a heavy heart, I should report to my master and..

“SARJAY! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!” My master had burst from open doors, marching angrily towards Sarjay. While waving a letter on one hand, his other hand slammed onto Sarjay’s table.

“Please, Boss. You speaking loud gives me a headache. Hell, you speaking at all gives me a migraine.” Sarjay didn’t stop writing on a piece of document as my master angrily waved a letter about.

“No, listen here! I need to know the meaning of this!” My master started to become a bit more panicky. Tiredly, Sarjay took off his glasses and placed them onto his table calmly.

“What is it?” Sarjay looked up to my master and leaned back on his chair.

“Listen. This letter is from Ellysa. She’s speaking of all manners on how to murder or torture me.”

“It’s a love letter. Where is the part where she wants you buried in a coffin?”

“You see this?! It says ‘marriage’ and ‘honeymoon’. HORRENDOUS, I TELL YOU!” My master started pointing at his letter.

“How does Ellysa fantasizing about you equal to your death?”

“At first she wanted me dead, then suddenly she became docile, now she’s all over me! She’s insane, I tell you! How did this letter even find its way to Follis?! I thought I trapped Ellysa in her palace!”

“This was weeks ago. She probably only has thralls outside of her palace to do her biddings until she gets out. She might still be in her palace, you know?”

“I need to find Beor! I need to have eyes on the United Fortresses! Any jailbaits coming from and into the dwarven nation should be suspected vampire thralls and must be intercepted!” My master stormed out of the room and the place became quiet once more. I still had the task of reporting to my master but I felt like now wasn’t the time. Regardless of how I felt, I must perform my task without fail.

As I was about to leave, Sarjay called out to me, “Oh and…Horatio?”

“Yes, Sarjay?”

“Welcome to the family.”

Ah. I see. This was a family of misfits. I was missing a lot of information, but I knew this was still a family. Despite the welcome, I was displeased that I was treated as a misfit. I dryly licked my teeth and realized they were pretty dull. I should go about sharpening them later again.