January 16, 2019, before 6 am. Early, but not early enough to avoid the rain.

Waking up, I realize I'm laying in a puddle. I'm fairly certain I didn't go to sleep in a puddle, but after spending what felt like months in Uthica's memories, it takes me a moment to be sure.

There's a lot for me to digest but I probably shouldn't do so while lying in a puddle of water.

Before I consciously finish processing the idea, I'm already displacing the water around me. Looking at the water, water that was obviously working up the courage to drown me in my sleep, my brain starts to function. If only I could displace water like that while sleeping.

As my now conscious mind fully comprehends my cold and dreary state, I circulate fire mana in response, warming myself. After a few seconds, the cold is chased away.

With comfort restored, I'm unable to help pondering Uthica's memories. It's kind of humbling, thinking back on what she's lived through. I'll definitely remember her father Pern, as she asked. It feels like he's read me as many bedtime stories as my own father at this point. It's pretty weird.

But it's Uthica I'll truly remember. I wonder if this is what it would feel like to have a sister. I feel incredibly grateful to her. I'm glad she shared so much of her life. There were a lot of personal memories, but her story left me with a lot of critical information too. Such as the portal near the city Bethreyne.

For the first time since I've arrived, it feels like I have a solid lead for getting home. The only question is, will it bring me to Earth? Oh, and where is it? And when does it open? Is it being guarded? Does it still work?

Okay, I guess there's more than one question. Still, it's a place to start.

I also learned classes can evolve. That's pretty huge. And the reason the wolves were disappearing? Sucked into the air, turning into magical dust. Apparently. I’m not sure if that makes it better. Are they going to come back like Uthica’s sister?

And of course, there’s the fact that overlaid with Uthica’s memories is an intrinsic understanding of her entire civilization as well as fluency in their languages. That's right, languages, plural.

No big deal. Turns out that by the end, Uthica was a bit of a polyglot.

But with all the knowledge Uthica left me, none of it is immediately relevant. At the moment I feel as though I know everything there is to know about making the perfect cup of espresso. But I need to make pancakes.

Hehe. Kind of describes my mom.

Redirecting myself to slightly more immediate issues, I review my notification log. It appears I only received one update after Wyonna wished me goodnight.

"Skill increased: Temporal Manipulation (9 to 10)"

Kinda wish there'd been more warning. It's a good thing I'd already bunkered up for the night. Note to self, next time the system asks me if I want to obtain a language or skill, make sure I'm somewhere safe. Preferably with someone guarding me.

Speaking of which, Smoulder isn't in my immediate vicinity. I guess she didn't want to sleep in the rain. Not that I blame her. I'm just glad I didn't drown. Second note to self, make my bed elevated in case of rain. Plus, add drainage holes.

Third note to self, remember to review notes and quests once I head out for the day. I feel like I've been so focused on getting to the others that I may have forgotten obvious experiments or quests.

Reshaping my dome, I peek out into the dark. I know it's technically morning, but the sky is so dark I can't even see the nearby trees. The ground underneath my feet is dry but that's my doing. I'm not certain I should keep travelling until the rain lets up.

Unless….

Drawing water from the falling rain I create a water umbrella. Every drop that hits becomes part of my umbrella, but it takes a lot of concentration to maintain. It's even draining focus at a rate of one per second.

I immediately cancel the umbrella, forming my shield rune instead. I imbue it with water mana, jack up the size then presto, problem solved. Except I can feel the shield weakening with every drop that hits it. Each individual drop is insignificant, but in rain this heavy, it adds up quickly.

Sighing as my dream of a water-based umbrella fails to materialize, I form a barrier out of my stone shelter instead. It has no focus or mana drain, so it's a clear winner. But I'm still disappointed. A stone umbrella is nowhere near as cool as one made of water.

At least it should keep me dry. Okay, next step, sports bra. Or a reasonable facsimile.

One of the great things about this world so far has been getting away without wearing a bra. I want to attempt running today, but without a sports bra, well... I need to figure something out.

Since I'm working on clothing anyway, I throw up some walls before stripping down, washing everything thoroughly. I hope no monsters show up right now. It would be so embarrassing fighting for my life while doing laundry in the buff.

I consider a stone bra for all of one second before discarding the idea. Instead, I start by trimming away my onesie so my arms are completely free on both sides. Then taking the scraps of cloth, the remnants of my bandages and my needles, I start fastening everything together. It's annoying as the cloth only kind of responds to my earth and water manipulation skills, so I have to do most of the work by hand. At least I'm able to control the wind so I don't have sudden gusts or even my own breath disturbing my work. It takes half an hour and several failed attempts, but I manage to secure my boobs without making it too uncomfortable.

As I'm inspecting my freshly cleaned onesie, I notice the pin that Beth gave me. Picking it up, I look at it again. The edges are dinged up, but the picture of the woman running against the forest green background is still in good shape. I run my finger over the well-worn edges, it's smooth, but it's that worn by time smooth instead of a freshly sealed smooth. I slip my onesie back on, reweaving it together while tightening up the loose slack. This time I use coils instead of individual loops which cuts down on the clinking. It also gives me a bit of a frankenkitty appearance.

With my clothing prepared, I sit down, crafting a pair of boots from the remaining clump of metal stowed in my backpack. My boot design evolved several times as I was walking yesterday, culminating in a design that resembled a dark, high collared, hiking boot by the end of the day. Only one made entirely of metal while using soft packed earth for an insole.

Today I do the same, but I take the time to add some artistic flair as I craft two matching boots. It takes an extra minute, but it makes them look way better. Given the ragged state of my onesie, I'm glad I can at least make my boots cool.

Finished outfitting myself I replace the pin then pack the stone from my shelter away while I search the area for Smoulder. I imagine she didn't go too far in rain like this, but given that I can't see two meters past the tip of my nose, she may as well be miles away. Reminds me of the rain just before I….

Just before I was ripped from my home then deposited on Akilo.

Could it be related?

Was the rain part of bringing us here?

If it is, does it make long-distance teleportation easier? Or is it a side effect of what brought us here? Rawrgh. Not enough information.

Adding yet another note to self, I put this one under 'notes for going home?' As I'm looking for Smoulder, I reflect that it's handy not having to dig around in my pockets or fumble in the rain for a notepad.

Now, where did that little ball o' doom run off to?

Thinking back, I believe I recall trees to the north of camp. Hopefully, she's hiding out under one of those.

Moving slowly, I search through the trees until I eventually come across Smoulder. She's sitting on a branch in the biggest needliest (that's a word, right?) tree of the bunch. She's giving off a low heat, but it seems like it's exactly enough to keep herself dry, and no more. I imagine she's had lots of nights to figure out how to stay warm in crap weather like this.

She looks so adorable sitting there I almost can't resist snuggling her awake. I say almost because I've seen her save me twice with her flaming headbutts. I do not want to be on the receiving end of that.

Instead, I take a piece of jerky from my pack, offering it to her by holding it in front of her nose. She'll probably want to cook it first, just like every other piece of jerky I gave her yesterday. At least I know she likes it well enough. Smoulder soon wakes, scorching my offering before wolfing it down.

Then she jumps straight into my face forcing me to scramble to catch her. As soon as she's properly nestled, she returns to her nap.

Right. I probably could have picked her up.

Prepared to set out, I send a pulse connecting to Beth, half expecting her to be asleep.

Instead, I find her working through a set of movements that I'm guessing are martial arts of some form. Thought she flicks her eyes to the right when I connect, she doesn't pause, continuing the graceful motions.

She's in an open field, no rain, with the giant tiger striped K'tharn. It seems the K'tharn is working through her own set of martial arts just in front of Beth. While fierce, the way she moves is strangely beautiful. She's also wearing a harness I haven't seen before. In fact, when I think about it most of the K'tharn in Uthica's memories weren't big on clothing. Bandoleers, backpacks and utility belts sure, but nothing for the weather.

As the vision fades, I make out an area to the side where there are several other K'tharn gathered together.

It felt as though Beth hasn't moved yet, so I start my day's hike following my original plan, moving south along the riverbank.

As I walk I start experimenting with my water-based umbrella design. Now that the idea is in my head, I feel driven to try a few things, mostly different variations of what I've learned so far.

But discerning ways to implement my water shield is remarkably tricky. I feel like there should be a way to make it self regulating, but I'm not making progress. After fifteen minutes I decide to take a break to give my quests that review. It's a little embarrassing to admit I haven't reviewed them since I discovered the quest log.

Zone quests:

Huh, there’s still nothing here. Oh well.

System quests:

“Quest: Survival. Requirements: Survive for 30 days. Reward: Variable. Time: 28/30 days remaining.”

The second tab is still just the one quest. What makes it a system quest versus a personal quest I wonder. This is the questline Uthica indicated a person had to give up to enter the sanctuary city, right? Maybe it's related to that.

Personal Quests:

“Quest: Learn Magic. Requirements: 8/9 elemental manipulation skills learned. Reward: 7 iron rank integration points. Time remaining: No limit.”

I swear I should have learned enough manipulation skills by now. Wondering what’s going on I open up my skills.

Skills Matrix Skill Level Temporal Manipulation 10 Spatial Manipulation 12 Mana Manipulation 78 Runic Channelling 5 Combat Skill Level Throwing 11 Elemental Skill Level Fire Manipulation 27 Water Manipulation 27 Wind Manipulation 27 Lightning Manipulation 27 Stone Manipulation 49 Earth Manipulation 27 Metal Manipulation 33 Ice Manipulation 1 Knowledge Skill Level Gaming 2 Engineering 25 Survival - Temperate Forest 12 Support Skill Level Cooking 0 Cleaning 40 Crafting Skill Level Woodworking 1 Stone Shaping 34 Metal Shaping 33 Tailoring 2 Movement Skill Level Swimming 1 Running 2 Social Skill Level Insight 3 Deception 1

Huh, I guess temporal and spatial don’t count as elemental skills. I did get a pretty awesome reward when I learned spatial, so I probably shouldn't complain too much.

What other elements are there? Let’s see. Wood is pretty common in some systems.

I stop next to a tree then try to sync my mana to it. I get a confusing mix of water, earth, wind and lightning as feedback. It would be easy to rip any of the individual elements out, but I’m not sure I have the skill to manipulate them in concert. This is the first thing I’ve tried manipulating that I’ve felt would be a real challenge to use. I might come back to it later, but the level of difficulty leads me to believe it’s probably not a missing element.

Everything else has been remarkably easy. Even ice, though it did involve revisiting a less than pleasant memory. This thought causes me to pause.

At the bottom of my elemental skills, ice manipulation sits with a single solitary point.

As Uthica demonstrated, the needs of the queen outweigh the wants of the woman. I'm no queen. Hell, I'm barely an adult. But that doesn't matter. I've been running away from my power, playing with the easy stuff. As I see the entry for ice manipulation, I force myself to admit there's another obvious element I've been avoiding.

Taking a moment, I stop. I create a shelter so I can deal with this properly. Looking upon the woods cast in perpetual twilight, I begin bringing forth fire and water. They're set in orbit as I summon wind and lightning to join them. Then stone, earth and metal push into the expanding ring.

Which only leaves ice. For the first time, I draw an orb of ice forward, letting it sync with the others. I can almost picture what floats in the centre. A space that needs to be filled. I can't sustain the ring for long. Every second costing me focus. So I dispel it.

Closing my eyes, I go to the place where my clock and memories are tangled together. Then I clean up the timelines for that night. As my memory pulls me in, returning me to my mother's arms, I know I'm ready.

Or so I hope.

My mother is hugging me tight, crying into my shoulder. The cold from outside is slowly thawing. I know she’s distraught, but I just want to see papa. Even as she's holding me, I hear her mutter, "why do these things always happen to me."

Pushing away from my mother, I notice her ruby lipstick, normally defined and neat, is crudely smudged, a single track leading down towards her chin. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” she says as she strokes my cheeks, igniting my skin with the edge of her nails. There’s a warmth in her face I’ll remember fondly over the next few years, even as our lives turn to ash.

Mami and papi are the next to embrace me.

As much as I love them, at this moment their affections are obstacles to endure, instead of the love that should be supporting me. They're between me and papa. With a stony resolve, I embrace my papi his corduroy jacket scratching my cheek as I slide away from him. But I can’t stand to be rigid with Mami.

Instead, Mami is drowned with tears. Followed by a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek to bog her down.

And then I shock them, running down the hall while they're still too worried to react.

Before the nurses, in their sky blue gowns, can think to stop me, a gust sends documents blowing off the desk. While they're distracted, I blitz past their guard.

Which only leaves me with the final yet greatest obstacle.

He's only just stepping out of the room.

It's him. The private detective.

Mr. Edwards.

His cool demeanour blocks my path. He turns his frigid gaze on me, standing between me and my father.

My spine is unbending, reinforced by my need to enter, an alloy of determination and regret. I stand up to him when he tells me I shouldn't go in. “Trust me,” he says holding the door shut. “I know, it’s hard but it's better not to see,” he says, as I forge my way past. “Would you just listen to me,” he says, trying to pull me away, his suit sleeve ripping when I refuse to yield.

Despite his protests, there's only so much he's willing to endure to keep me out.

My anger collapses when I finally make it into the room. I hear Edwards sighing as he steps into the room behind me.

The medical monitor beeps. There's only one bed in the room, despite having space for two. The ubiquitous uncomfortable hospital chair next to the bed sits unused. It has a brown plaid seat covering with light brown wooden arms.

The plastic curtain is pulled tight, and my legs carry me forward. Now that I'm here, I'm not certain I can face my memory. I'm afraid. I know what I'll find. But I can't escape. So instead, I scan every object in the room.

A tray with uneaten hospital food, so unappealing even the jello remains unopened. The plastic rolling cart on which the tray rests. A dull grey cell phone charging on the nearby end table, the light blinking indicating an unread message. The partially open door to the bathroom. A bathroom he can't even use.

The bed. Clean, despite being occupied, the white sheets crisp. The clipboard hanging at the end, filled with words I never read.

That weird hospital smell.

Sterile.

A hint of death, hidden just beneath the remnants of cleansing agents.

Through it all, my short legs continue taking me closer, until I have nowhere else to look.

My father's bed is draped in twilight. The usual bright light of the hospital lowered, allowing him to rest. This is what I'm here for. Even now, within my memory, he remains hidden from view. On this night he’s still at his worst. They haven’t prettied him up yet.

I'm not supposed to be here. No one is.

I reach out, almost against my will, to draw the shadow away, with a flick of my hand.

It doesn't vanish, so much as peel away, gathering in my hand. But I hardly notice.

Because as the darkness disappears, the curtain pulled away, I gaze upon the disfigured face of my father. Blind in one eye, paralyzed below the neck, unlikely to wake, the chart says all these things. Any of these would be enough.

But to my nine-year-old brain, it's his missing left arm which seems most pressing. If only that arm remained, then obviously he'd be alright, my brain tries to tell me.

Right?

Moving closer I take my papa's remaining hand and start crying while whispering, "Papa, I'm sorry. Wake up. Please, wake up. I promise I'll never use my magic again. Please. Please just wake up."

"I'm sorry Alexis," Mr. Edwards says from behind, "he can't hear you."

I ignore him as I continue begging my papa to wake.

I gasp as the memory fades.

No.

Nononono.

I throw Smoulder to the side, tearing my way free of the shelter before running out into the rain where I collapse.

As my shoulders heave, I know what I'll see if I look up. I can feel it floating above me. There will be eight spheres of familiar energy, all orbiting around a small orb of darkness rimmed with a pale dusty light. Twilight.

Just like I used to imagine it. Every single element I've called upon has been like this, I realize. Exactly as I imagined them when I was a child. They'd been mine and papa's little secret. But I told myself they weren't real. They couldn't be real. That's what the world said.

And it made sense.

No one else could use magic, why would I think I was special. I didn't deserve to be special. That night staring at my father's broken form, I forswore magic.

I'd considered fixing my mistake of course. I had magic, why wouldn't I. But I didn't know what I was doing. Not really. What was I going to do, freeze him? And healing? Even now, healing is completely beyond me. What use was my magic if I couldn't fix my Papa.

I never tried again. At first, it was because of my promise. But then it became self-defence. If it wasn't real, then it wasn't my fault.

When we came to Akilo, the system let me think it was a game. Or even that the system was responsible.

When I finally look up, I see the twilight orb amid the other spinning elements. Exactly as I knew it would be.

I don't bother checking my notifications. Instead, I continue crying.

I returned to his room of course. I was there so many times over the next week that I basically lived there. Edwards was always around too. He wouldn't leave. He brought food then left it for me. It's embarrassing to see how he really acted. Even now, a major part of my brain wants to swear it's all his fault.

But it's not. It's mine.

I never made it to Mami and Papi's for Christmas that year. But that didn't matter, everyone came to us instead. I didn't have much patience for Papi's stories though. I was too worried papa would wake up while I wasn't there. I needed to be there to tell him I loved him. To tell him I didn't mean it. To tell him I was sorry.

It takes me another minute before I finally feel rational again. I'm soaked to the bone as I move back to the shelter. I'm dry before I reach it.

When I step inside, Smoulder is glaring at me reproachfully, so I hunker down to offer her head scritches. Deciding she’s magnanimous enough to forgive me, she hops forwards into my arms again as I laugh-sob. With her comforting presence, I spend several minutes staring out into the rain, before resuming our march.

It's honestly amazing how much cuddles with a floofy little bunny can help.

Since we're on the move again, I continue checking my quest log. Despite how wrenching that felt, it only took ten minutes. Well, ten minutes to relive the memory, plus the ten it took me to recover.

“Skill unlocked: Twilight Manipulation (1)”

“Quest completed: Learn magic. Reward 7 iron rank integration points. Increases edge for all elemental manipulation skills by 0.1.”

“Quest received: Establish the basics. Description: Raise all elemental manipulation skills to 25. Requirements: 7/9. Rewards: 3 iron rank integration points, class unlock.”

I laugh, which sounds slightly unhinged, even to me. All I had to do to gain more power was relive one of my most painful memories then discover that the man I hate is a better person than I am.

And to get more, all I have to do is practice my ice and twilight magic. Why would I have expected anything else?

Instead of dwelling on it, I take a deep breath, moving on to the next entry.

“Quest: Repair Temporal Inconsistency Requirement: restore remaining memories and timeframes 1/3. Reward: variable. Remove condition. Time remaining: no limit."

Well, on the plus side, I made progress on the quest. I'm sure Uthica would be able to press on. But I’m not sure I can handle either remaining memory. Or that I should waste my time here dealing with them. The others are still out there.

At least that's what I tell myself.

“Quest: Return to Earth. Requirements: Find a way to return to Earth 0/1. Reward: Variable. Time remaining: 358/360 days.”

No progress here. I guess just knowing there’s a portal off-world doesn’t count. Not surprising.

“Quest: Knock knock. Description: Translate the strange door, in the mysterious building's basement, on the alien planet. Requirements: translate 0/23 characters. Reward: 3 iron rank integration points; unknown. Time: unlimited.”

And this is why I'm reviewing. I completely forgot about this quest.

Opening up my journal I translate the characters from the door with ease. The language is eastern Akilese, the language of Uthica's youth. There's a circle filled with Eastern Akilese alphabet halfway up the door on the right. The rest of the door is a message.

“This node has been claimed and sealed by Uthica of clan Halterin in accordance with directive 24.1 of the Lathian Conclave.”

Uthica, huh? For some reason, I'm not surprised.

The moment I finish translating the words in my journal, my quest updates. Translation is far less stressful than unlocking new elemental magics has become.

"Objective complete: Translate 23/23 characters. Rewards: 3 iron rank integration points. 1 iron grade mana essence.”

"Please return to your closest available Nexus to retrieve your items."

Huh, iron grade mana essence. That’s new.

With ten points available I assign five points each to Intellect and Spirit before continuing. My magic skill feels too important to let it be capped.

“Quest updated: Knock knock. Description: Open Uthica’s door in the Goddess Vaus’ temple basement on Akilo. Requirements: open 0/1 doors. Reward: 5 iron rank integration points; unknown. Time: unlimited.”

Damn. Too bad I couldn’t have done that before I left. Who knew I could get five points for opening a door. There’s got to be more to it.

"Quest: If you build it, they won't come. Description: Create more durable creations with stone. Requirements: create 0/1 iron grade stone structure, 0/1 iron grade stone tools, raise Stone Shaping skill 34/100. Reward: 7 iron rank integration points. Time: 29/30 days remaining."

"Quest: Metal in the Making. Description: Create tools that will stand up to abuse. Requirements: Create 0/5 iron grade tools using Metal Manipulation, raise Metal Shaping skill 33/100. Reward: 7 iron rank integration points. Time: 29/30 days remaining."

Right. I think I might need to work on figuring out how to do these quests. Luckily I have time.

"Quest: Follow that dragon! Description: Find out if the dragon took your companions. Find and recover your companions. Requirements: 0/3 companions found; 0/3 companions recovered. Reward: 3 iron rank integration points per companion found; unknown. Time: unknown."

Ha. This has been my main quest for the last two days. I guess being able to see through their eyes doesn’t count as knowing where they are. Which is fair, I only have a vague sense of direction and distance.

With my quest log reviewed I consider experimenting to see what I can figure out about iron grade crafting, but I'm feeling dispirited. Plus, crafting requires a lot more attention than anything else. Hard to maintain a decent pace while distracted.

And speaking of distracted, I can't help think about my memory. While unlocking twilight manipulation is unarguably a good thing, I have new concerns. Have I forgotten things from my past? Or are my memories getting twisted by my magic?

Based on everything I remember from earth the latter seems more likely. But….

There's the other memory.

I'm not ready to reflect on it yet, and I'm definitely not ready to relive it, but there's a chance….

If I see what I think I'll see, then my mother has been right all along. It is all my fault.

So instead of working on iron grade crafting or practicing my ice and twilight magic, I play with my water umbrella design, trying to come to terms with what it might all mean.

And the rain continues to fall.