《Vaudevillain》Dr. Zlo - The Musical (6)
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Dr. Zlo watches Sweet Dream leave before turning back to Wonderman.
Dr. Zlo
And now that you’re at my mercy, I shall explain to you my grand design!
Wonderman
No! Anything but a monologue!
Dr. Zlo
Oh, so overdramatic. A bit of a lecture will do you some good!
Dr. Zlo starts to pace around his foe.
Dr. Zlo
You see, Wonderman, stealing money from the bank is only step one in my grand evil plan to take over the city!
The Jacques look to each other, confused. As far as they knew, Dr. Zlo only had one step to his grand plan. That step being steal from the bank.
Dr. Zlo
The villain continues with a flourish. Everyone knows to keep some cash on hand when running a business! That’s just good sense! But what happens when all of their liquidity is quite literally flushed away? Utter chaos! That’s what! Businesses will no longer be able to keep their accounts straight, leaving several hundred poor accountants to work overtime to balance the accounts! It’ll take weeks for them to fix everything! And in that time, what’s a bit of lost inventory? Or perhaps there are a few new employees working for a paycheck. Who knows? The entire board of directors could get replaced!
Wonderman
Struggling harder under Eville’s power. You slimy, scheming, serpent! Don’t you dare cut those honest shareholders out of their rightly earned net worth!
Everyone pauses for a beat until Wonderman realizes what just came out of his mouth.
Wonderman
I mean, don’t you dare replace honest workers with your phony hacks!
Dr. Zlo
Ha! And who’s going to stop me? Certainly not the hero caught in my trap! Now, I have places to be, people to subdue, you know the drill. Come, Eville!
Dr. Zlo walks off stage. Eville follows but stops next to Wonderman and whispers.
Eville
Don’t his speeches get you all riled up? That charisma is something else ain’t it?
Wonderman
Miss. Don’t fall for that ne’er-do-well’s scintillating words! The path of villainy only leads to doom and destruction!
Eville
Aw, you’re sweet. Too bad you’re stuck in that ice block, or I might be tempted. Toodles!
Eville walks off, the liquid cash in tow. Before she leaves, the woman turns back to Wonderman.
Eville
Oh, and you might want to be careful about breaking that ice. Some of the chemicals in there can get a bit... explosive.
Eville cackles as she walks off stage. The sounds of the Zlomobile driving off echo in the theater a few moments later, leaving Wonderman alone with the citizens as the lights dim. But before they drop completely, we see another figure appear and slice through the ice, freeing Wonderman.
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SCENE CHANGE
The next scene opens on a group of Jacques slumped over various set pieces resembling Dr. Zlo’s mansion, breathing heavily. Dr. Zlo and Eville walk in a moment later, Cass closing an imaginary door behind him.
Dr. Zlo
I think that went well, don’t you?
Eville
Oh, yes!
Dr. Zlo
Now, for the next stage of my plan. Cass!
Cass
Yeah, boss?
Dr. Zlo
Find us a company scrambling to fix its accounts after my magnificent heist.
Cass
Uh, boss. Wasn’t stealing money the only part of the plan?
Dr. Zlo
Cass, did you think I would reveal all of my plan? We’re working with other villains, not heroes! Who’s to say Sweet Dream wouldn’t steal my idea? No, we keep our schemes close to the chest.
Dr. Zlo pauses for a beat.
Plus, Sweet Dream would tell me that’s not how business works.
Cass
Right boss. I’ll get right on finding you that company. Cass exits the stage.
Dr. Zlo
Turning to Eville.
And as for you! Such a grand use of power! I could use power like that on my team.
Eville
With dramatic flair that only exists in campy B movies. Oh, Eric! I thought you’d never ask! Of course I’ll join the team!
Dr. Zlo
First order of business. None of this Eric nonsense. My name is Dr. Zlo! Mastermind of evil! Lord of schemes!
Eville
Oh, I love it when you wax poetic. Eville saunters over to Dr. Zlo, her face in smiling adoration. Dr. Zlo raises an eyebrow at the movement.
Cass returns at that moment with news.
Cass
Excellent news, boss! I found the perfect company!
Eville turns, the smile on her face replaced with a frown. Cass recoils from the look, but Dr. Zlo doesn’t notice.
Dr. Zlo
Perfect, Cass! Where?
Cass
It’s a hedge fund called CorSyn. Some AI-backed fund. The loss of cash on hand has made the computer go haywire! There’s accountants everywhere trying to balance the books!
Dr. Zlo
Muahaha! See, I knew my plan would bear fruit! Come, minions!
Jacques roll off of their respective set pieces standing at attention as Dr. Zlo marches off stage left. Cass and Eville follow, leaving the Jacques alone for a moment. Then, one of them flips a set piece to reveal the autotuner underneath. The Jacques march off stage with it in tow. A few Jacques don’t follow, flipping their set pieces to reveal various office desks.
The minions pull notebooks and pens from the desks and don their various citizen masks. Some are in obvious disarray. Dr. Zlo walks in stage right with Cass and Eville behind him. Once they arrive, the Jacques start working furiously.
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Dr. Zlo
Ah, just look at it, Cass. I love it when a plan comes together.
Cass nods.
Eville
And what dastardly deeds will we do with this company, Dr. Zlo?
Dr. Zlo
Hmm. Excellent question. I would supplant a few employees with Jacques, but I fear the minion’s ineptitude will expose them sooner than I would like. I can’t leave Cass in charge either; no one else is fit enough to be by my side.
Eville
The mistress of the dark saunters up next to Dr. Zlo. Perhaps there’s another who could take his place? Temporarily, of course.
Cass looks shocked at the suggestion.
Dr. Zlo
Who? Quartet? Why, that off-key maestro couldn’t mix a decent drink if he used all four bodies!
Eville
Perhaps someone more... feminine?
Dr. Zlo
Bah, Mabel’s too flighty. She would leave once some new stud comes along.
Eville
The woman clears her throat. Perhaps someone closer. Right next to you, perhaps?
Dr. Zlo
Looking confused. Sweet Dream isn’t a minion, and she’d never accept becoming my butler.
Eville sighs with exasperation.
Eville
Muttering under her breath. I guess you’re not ready to see the truth yet.
Cass, however, notices. And he doesn’t take kindly to this new woman trying to muscle in on his territory.
Cass
Boss, what if we used Eville?
Dr. Zlo
Not now, Cass. I’m thinking.
The Jacques continue to work frantically in the background, paper flying off their notebooks as they scribble. Eventually, a new character steps in stage left. A large, beefy man with rippling muscles and a stomach rounder than a bowling ball. A three-piece suit, a bit too tight around the edges, strains to keep the man’s dignity intact.
Obvious Mafia Boss
Alright, you louts! Did you figure out who stole our hard-earned cash yet?
The Jacques shake their heads frantically. The obvious mafia boss pulls out a cigar (a stage cigar, of course) and chomps down on it like gum.
Obvious Mafia Boss
Well, hurry up! The boss turns to Dr. Zlo. And who are you three?
Dr. Zlo
Bowing. Dr. Zlo, criminal mastermind at your service!
Obvious Mafia Boss
I’ve heard a you. Ain’t you the fella that Valiant beats all the time?
Dr. Zlo
You must have me confused with some other villain. Valiant doesn’t beat me.
Obvious Mafia Boss
No, no. I think I’d know some other yahoo in a top hat and suit.
Eville
How dare you call Dr. Zlo a yahoo! He’s a grade a buffoon at the very least!
Dr. Zlo
Eville.
Eville
Yes?
Dr. Zlo
While I appreciate the willingness to defend my reputation, perhaps leave it to me next time?
Eville
Ah, I should have known you would want to put this man in his place.
Obvious Mafia Boss
Oh, so you’re the one trying to muscle in on my territory, eh? Trying to get up in my business?
Dr. Zlo
Brandishing his cane. Hit the nail on the head! That’s right, I’m here to commandeer your business, CorpSyn, and use it to further my own nefarious plots! Now, accept me as your new master and I might let you continue running the place.
Obvious Mafia Boss
The man postures, squaring his shoulders and huffing the cigar. You think you can just come in here and make demands?
Dr. Zlo
I don’t know any other way! Dr. Zlo cackles.
The mafia boss starts rolling up his sleeves to fight, but before he can get going, the sound of a window shattering stage left causes him to turn. Wonderman swoops in, punching the mafia boss and sending him flying past Dr. Zlo and off the stage. (I imagine it would be funnier to make the man backpedal until he left the stage, but the creative choices are, of course, the director's decision.)
Wonderman
Never fear, Wonderman is here!
Another window shatters. This time, a short woman swoops on stage. She wears the same colors as Wonderman, white with rainbow hues. However, where Wonderman’s rainbows are on his gloves, boots, and mask, the woman’s are on her unitard. A large GW sits prominently on her chest.
Girl Wonder
And don’t forget Girl Wonder! Savior of the innocent, protector of peace and love!
Dr. Zlo
Wonderman! Impossible! How did you escape my trap?
Girl Wonder
He had his best sidekick, of course! I swooped in once everyone left and broke him free!
Wonderman
With pride in his eyes. Ah, they grow up so fast. Just yesterday, it feels like I was teaching her how to properly protect the populace from the pernicious pustule of crime.
Dr. Zlo and Eville roll their eyes at the scene.
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