《Vaudevillain》244 - Touching Down
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Bart swerved his upgraded spaceship around a piece of debris hanging out around Skyline. The city had started accumulating junk almost as soon as it started moving. Something about the way the engine worked, according to Jack. But that wasn't Bart's focus at the moment. No, the man was on a mission. A mission that involved invading the heroes guild headquarters.
The super powered driver hadn't lost anything important in the fall of Skyline. Both he and his friends never worried about setting up a base. Apocalypses never had characters in one place anyway. They were all nomads. Plus, Leatherface thought it would be more fun to run around all the time, invading areas with Bart's suped-up cars.
So how could Bart say no when Dr. Zlo asked him to join the fight against the heroes guild? Now, Bart was piloting a dream of a ship, Leatherface and Fleshgrabber in the seats next to him on the guns. Both players were competing to see who could shoot the most debris out of the sky.
"Twenty-three," Leatherface said smugly as his weapon destroyed yet another cluster of discarded satellites.
"Thirty," Fleshgrabber replied with a smug look of his own.
"Bullsh*t you got thirty," Leatherface complained.
"Ricoheted the shot off seven pieces of garbage," Fleshgrabber answered.
"That doesn't count," Leatherface argued.
"Twenty-four then," Fleshgrabber said. "Which means you're still losing."
"Girls, you're both pretty," Bart interjected. "And we're leaving the field now. Gonna arrive at the moon in a minute."
Leatherface looked at the countdown timer on his watch, the minutes ticking by until the death ray was in position.
"Why are we attacking the place if we're going to destroy it?" Fleshgrabber asked.
"Because we're the distraction," Bart answered. "If the heroes don't fight on the moon, they'll lose their base."
"And if they do, and we stop them. They still lose the base," Leatherface continued.
"Yeah, but I don't want to get caught in the crossfire," Fleshgrabber said.
"Idiot," Leatherface answered. "We just have to log out."
"Or use Dr. Zlo's reset button," Bart answered.
"Oh yeah, forgot about that," Leatherface said.
Bart chuckled at his friend's forgetfulness. Despite Leatherface's prowess in battle, the man couldn't remember where something was to save his life.
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The ship's HUD beeped as it targeted an incoming hero.
"Looks like we've got company!" Bart cheered.
"Time to show them what we can do!" Leatherface shouted.
Bart turned the ship to face the incoming hero, a man in a thick fur overcoat. Leatherface and Fleshgrabber opened fire with their guns, bolts of heated death flying toward the incoming enemy. A wall of ice formed between the players and the hero, halting the bullets in their tracks.
Bart twisted the steering stick, flipping the spaceship on its head as it looped over the wall. His two friends hadn't stopped firing, the bullets chipping away at the ice in front of them. The hero continued to conjure more of the frozen wall, maneuvering it so that the bullets never struck them.
"We won't hit him like this!" Leatherface complained.
"We don't have to," Bart said.
The player throttled the engines, shooting past the hero in a burst of speed and making a beeline for the moon. The hero turned to chase, conjuring a transparent wall of ice to block any bullets.
"Switch to bombs," Bart told his friends as they arrived at the landing pads.
A series of emplaced defenses arose from under crates and boxes, turning toward Bart's empowered ship. Lasers fired in bursts, and the player shifted most of his power to the shields to deal with the attack. Leatherface and Fleshgrabber flipped a switch on their control panels, changing their ammunition. The two players' HUDs altered to show a predicted trajectory, letting them launch their payloads with ease.
Bombs rained down on the emplaced defenses, exploding outward with fiery death. Bart watched as the shields shimmered with the telltale sign of a barrier, and he clicked his tongue in frustration.
"Gonna have to go for another pass," the player said.
But Jack's bombs weren't done. She had designed the weapons to work in stages. The first was the generic explosion, which scattered a series of miniature bombs across the ground. These bombs would stick on everything they could, exploding again a few seconds later.
Bart watched in surprise as the second payload activated. A few of the bombs had stuck themselves in places the barriers didn't reach, and the subsequent explosions took out a few of the guns.
"Alright, maybe this won't be as hard as I thought," the player said.
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"That ice freak's coming around again!" Leatherface shouted.
"Well, shoot him or something!" Bart complained as he spun the ship around.
Leatherface switched back over to the guns, letting Fleshgrabber shoot the bombs while he distracted the ice hero. Bart noticed that the hero looked a bit worn out. As if the need to keep his powers up tired him out.
"Just a bit more!" Bart whooped as he made another pass.
"More heroes!" Fleshgrabber shouted, pointing at the doors leading into the complex. Sure enough, a stream of heroes started to fly out of the building, firing every manner of ability possible at Bart's spaceship. The villain twisted and turned his ship, avoiding as much as he could while letting Fleshgrabber fire the last of his payload. More bombs exploded, a few unlucky heroes falling from the explosion.
"Okay! We've got an opening!" Bart shouted into the communicator. "Now, come and deal with these yahoos before we get taken out!"
"All in good time!" Dr. Zlo replied. "Go around for one more pass, and we'll be there."
"You're crazy!" Bart shouted. "Do you know how many heroes are coming out?"
"Just distract them for a second then," Dr. Zlo answered, his voice a tad miffed.
"Leatherface, switch to bombs," Bart said. "It doesn't matter where you aim since you're bound to hit something."
"Way ahead of you," Leatherface laughed. "Man. This is crazy, isn't it."
"Shoot already!" Bart shouted. "My shields are falling, and I don't want to go down this early in the fight."
"Pff, fine," Leatherface said.
The villain pulled the trigger, launching the rest of the ship's bombs into the mass of heroes swarming below. Fleshgrabber switched over to the bullets, unleashing a mess of gunfire that took out a few of the less protected heroes.
"It's like I'm bombing a beehive," Leatherface laughed.
Bart had to agree as the bombs connected before they hit the ground, striking random heroes who weren't coordinated enough to dodge. The resulting explosions sent many flying like bowling pins, and the secondary explosions only caused more chaos.
"Where are the rest of them?" Bart wondered, looking around for Dr. Zlo.
He got his answer a moment later when Riptide surfed over on the spaceship, unleashing a brown sludge that fell to cover the landing pads. The substance formed up a moment later, revealing itself to be a teddy bear shaped mass of chocolate. Heroes fell as the attack landed, scattering some while others protected themselves with powerful shields.
"Tremble in fear, mortals!" Dr. Zlo shouted over the din.
A crack of lightning followed the statement.
Bart looked over to see Dr. Zlo on top of his spaceship, Riptide standing next to him. Sweet Dream was nowhere in sight, though the chocolate below was undoubtedly hers. The player wondered how she'd gotten so much chocolate, as the towering teddy bear was easily taller than the building.
"Behold the might of my genius and Sweet Dream's candied prowess!" Dr. Zlo continued.
All eyes turned toward the villain, the players acting as heroes fixed on Dr. Zlo.
"Don't bother struggling," Dr. Zlo continued. "It will only make things worse for you. Best if you surrender now and save everyone the trouble."
"We're not scared of you!" A hero shouted.
"Well you should be!" Dr. Zlo demanded. "For I am Dr. Zlo! The greatest criminal mastermind the world has ever known! And with my intelligence combined with Sweet Dream's power, you heroes shall get your just desserts!"
Bart watched as the teddy bear moved, swinging a giant chocolate arm and engulfing a group of heroes. They came out the other end disoriented, the heroes in the air flying in random directions and striking their friends.
"Yes!" Dr. Zlo continued. "The heroes have declared war against me and mine! Destroying my grand city with petty tricks! For that, I shall destroy all that you hold dear! And once I'm finished, no one will ever think of going against Dr. Zlo!"
The villain threw his head back, laughing his evilest laugh yet. Bart laughed along with him, flying his ship low and letting Leatherface and Fleshgrabber off. Dr. Zlo's minions followed after, the Jacques raising a silent war cry against the wave of heroes.
Bart swerved his ship around and made a beeline back toward the ice hero. He had a score to settle with the man.
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