《Lost in Love》Chapter 25 - Blood Ties
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Staring contests are hard to win when it’s two on one.
Within my father’s study, the fat duke rhythmically tapped a pen on his desk while observing me. His face - which up until now I’ve only really seen inhaling food - was for the first time serious and unreadable. I resisted the urge to squirm or look away, calmly meeting his eyes while waiting for him to speak. I had nothing to feel guilty about and that’s exactly what I’m going to show him.
My mother sat beside him. She was much less subtle, her disapproving glare making it clear that she was unhappy with my actions.
“You certainly picked a bad time to do this,” Duke Halesworth finally sighed. “One of our merchant companies has been trying to make headway into Gailan, this will complicate matters once rumors spread. Those bastards are a petty and prideful lot.”
“And I’ve talked to you about your temper before,” Mother added with a tut. “Acting out like that is embarrassing for us - not to mention problematic. If you wanted her gone, there were cleaner ways to go about it. Now it’s far too late to arrange something since everyone knows you bear a grudge against her. If you are to bare your fangs then do it properly, foolish boy.”
I blinked, caught off guard by how casually she suggested having someone murdered. Before I could retort though my father spoke.
“What’s done is done. I know that you had your reasons, however do try to be a bit more discreet in the future. This is an important time not only for you but also for our entire family.”
Wait, what?
Seriously? That’s it? Christine really wasn’t exaggerating when she said they let me get away with anything. This was favoritism taken to a whole new level. Maybe they’ll even approve of breaking the engagement with Fran-
Nah. Who am I kidding. I’ve run the scenario in my head many times and I can’t seriously expect them to allow it, judging by how they treat Christine’s own marriage. My guess is that they don’t mind cleaning up after a little mischief - “boys will be boys” and all that - but will surely draw the line at anything that damages the family’s interests that much.
“Now before you leave, can you tell me why? I was not aware that your relationship with Perrins had deteriorated to such an extent.”
“From what I’ve heard, it had something to do with your sister as well?”
Ah, there we go. I was starting to wonder if they’d even bother asking that. After taking a moment to collect my thoughts, I broke my silence.
“She was ruining Christine. I’m sure you’re both aware of how awful her words could be, and it was starting to destroy what little self confidence my sister had left. You should have seen the way that hag acted during our last lesson, and Christine says that was still mild by her standards! Any longer and-”
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“Come now, dear, you’re exaggerating. A few harsh words, some smacks on the wrist that won’t leave any lasting marks, it’s hardly as awful as you make it sound.” Mother interrupted me dismissively. She practically rolled her eyes. “Every respectable noblewoman goes through such training, it not only teaches them the skills they need but also builds character… that girl will be royalty one day, knowing how to hide her anger behind a smile is vital. How could she possibly navigate the courts, being the clumsy, slow-witted open book that she is now? Perrins was only doing her job.”
That might be a fair argument if you cared nothing for your daughter’s freedom of choice or happiness. Just ruthless pragmatism. Shaking my head, I continued.
“Maybe that was true at first, but she certainly wasn’t doing it for Christine’s sake by the time I stepped in. Her methods were getting no results but she stubbornly insisted on tearing sis down over and over - I can’t interpret that as anything other than for her sadistic self-satisfaction.”
“Sis? Nevermind, then why not bring this up to her? Ask her to change and I am certain she would have.”
“Even if she was willing, do you think we’d get anywhere? I’ve seen the way they look at each other, it’s not pretty. The bad blood won’t go away just because that woman reluctantly starts treating Christine nicer.”
I don’t know what happened to Perrins in the original storyline, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Christine eventually snapped and shanked a bitch. It’s easier to replace that woman than try to fix their relationship, especially when neither party even wants to reconcile.
Mother thought about it for a while and then nodded. “Fine, it is true that the results of their lessons have been less than satisfactory. Perhaps it is time for us to find a more suitable teacher. It won’t be long before your entrance into the Academy and we must ensure that Christine is ready to interact with high society when we are not there to hold her hands.”
I gripped my chair’s armrest. It’s finally time to get to the crux of the matter.
“Glad you mentioned that... there’s actually something important we need to talk about. This entire mess is just part of a larger problem, one that I would like to address right now.”
Feigning indifference in front of their curiosity, I attempted to speak in the most neutral and diplomatic tone possible.
“All of it can be traced back to one issue: you two have done a terrible job raising your daughter, and frankly I am disgusted by the way you have treated her.”
Attempt failed. Critical miss. Rolled a 1.
Just a fraction of a second later, the aura of magical power that I’ve gotten used to seeing around my two parents fluctuated. The air seemed to shimmer and twist malevolently, and I thought I was seeing things when I saw a few slivers of fire materialize in mid-air. Soon I realized that my eyes were working just fine when the temperature in the room soared and what felt like an invisible, heavy wool blanket wrapped around every part of my body, constricting my movements.
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...I’ve done it now, haven’t I?
Struggling to keep her composure, mother damn near hissed at me. “How dare you? Go to your room, this discussion is o-”
“Now now, dear. Let’s hear the boy out. Alexander, explain.”
I felt suffocated by the alien sensation of magical power pressing down on me, their angry gazes nailing me to the chair as my nose breathed in scorching hot air. But then I recalled Christine’s tear streaked face from that night, those eyes filled with self-derision and longing, and the pressure gradually became more tolerable.
Look, my own parents weren’t exactly the nurturing type either. I wasn’t beaten or starved, but they were very… hands off, so to speak. Honestly I’m pretty sure a child was never in their plans and they only raised me out of a grudging sense of obligation.
Birthdays? Forgotten constantly. Hobbies? They didn’t even know what I did in the house, let alone outside of it. School? My only photo at my graduation ceremony was with my homeroom teacher since both mom and dad thought that the other was going to show up. Shit, if I was kidnapped or something I’d put 50-50 odds on them reporting it to the police!
But that frigid indifference was still far better than what these two have shown towards Christine. At this rate she wouldn’t even be given the chance to fend for herself, stumbling along life figuring things out the hard way like I did. From birth to death she would exist in a gilded cage.
“You treat her like a goddamn race horse.” I said through clenched teeth, still enduring the magical pressure. A tiny, childish part of my brain noted that I should ask Albert how long it takes to learn this, smothering people with a look was way too cool. “You dangle your approval in front of her like a carrot, using it to drive her towards increasingly unrealistic expectations. Not once have you ever asked what she wanted, deciding every aspect of her life for her instead. Perhaps you have even chosen the epitaph for her gravestone? She is your daughter, your flesh and blood, not a fucking tool to be used for whatever political plans you have!”
“Language, Alexander.” Duchess Halesworth harrumphed, though her earlier anger seems to have abated. Instead disappointment was now etched across her features. “Really? This is what this is about? How surprising, I never took you to be one of those naive dreamers.”
Meanwhile my father just shook his head. “Better we learn of it now, dear, before he started mouthing off to outsiders about these absurd thoughts. Alexander… you must understand that everything we do is for the sake of our family. If the Halesworth name is to maintain its prestige even a thousand years into the future, we cannot allow selfishness to fester.”
I opened my mouth but it was forced shut by the same uncomfortably hot magic that was pressing down on me.
“Just listen. Do you think our family reached these heights by prizing the desires of the individual over the needs of the many? Complacency is a poison whose effects will only be seen generations down the line. You will know this in time when you become duke, boy, that all of us have roles we must play.”
How convenient then that your ‘role’ involves stuffing your face constantly, going on pleasure trips, and leaving all the boring administrative tasks to Hudson. I’d like to see you live up to half the standards you impose on your daughter.
...Yes, I might be a little jealous of such a lifestyle, but that’s besides the point.
“And you complain about us paving her way towards becoming a monarch, yet do you not realize that the greatest beneficiary would be you? I am sure you know this, but the second prince stands a good chance of taking the throne, the crown prince being his lesser in all things except birth. With any luck, you will have the ear of this country’s ruler… things that were difficult even for me to accomplish shall be effortless for you. House Halesworth will reach new heights, and the other two dukes will no longer be able to compare!”
If only you knew, old man. If only you knew. The chessboard has been set, but in a few years the pieces you placed shall be this family’s undoing.
Think, self. Trying to appeal to their sentimentality or morals would never work, it is obvious now that there is a fundamental difference in our beliefs which cannot be overcome. Then I have no choice but to speak their language. If they are so concerned over the family’s interests, I only have to show that I am no naive dreamer, as mother put it, but someone competent enough to not get us all killed.
Finally able to talk again, my voice came out in a lazy but very quiet drawl.
“By ‘things difficult even for you’... do you mean the brown dust trafficking overseen by Baron Rhodes? Or how we smuggle weapons grade magical crystals to the underground auction? Or perhaps how Duke Braemar’s nephew was, ehem, killed by bandits on his way home?”
As I continued to list out some of our family’s most damning secrets, I relished the stunned looks on both of their faces.
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