Chapter Forty-Six

Lisa didn’t want to look. She really, really didn’t want to look. But Brian was sitting right next to her and had his eyes fixed on the screen of her laptop. Worse, Brian’s sister was also in the room, and also looking at the screen, though the expression she was wearing was entirely different from Brian’s.

On the ‘shit-eating to wanting to die’ scale, Aisha’s smug smile was definitely on the level of smug that even Lisa could admit was impressive.

It probably had something to do with her figuring out Brian’s secret, or her breaking into the loft, or the team being so beaten that at this point even her behaviour (all out of some misguided concern for her brother post-beating, of course) didn’t irritate them enough to kick her out.

“Well, here goes,” Lisa said.

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It took a few clicks to find the right thread, but it was right there, second from the top in the Brockton Bay section of the site.

Topic: Robbery at Bay Central Bank

In: Boards ► Brockton Bay ► News

► AllThatsFitToPrint (Original Poster) (Journalist: BrocktonBayOnline)

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

Breaking news!

At approximately 11:45 this morning (the 16th of February, 2011), a group of unknown parahumans marched into Brockton Bay Central. PHO user BrightFlare posted cellphone footage of the group here: LINK.

At approximately 11:50, after the group of young superheroines was repeatedly questioned by on-site security (and after they answered a few questions from the customers) the villainous group known as the Undersiders (ParaWiki: LINK) moved into the bank from the back and announced their arrival by taking all of the clients hostage.

The as of yet unnamed group of young parahumans confronted the Undersiders after which the villains tried to run. They failed and were apprehended by the young superheroines.

The villains were escorted out of the building where a confrontation with the Wards occurred. We believe that the second confrontation should be part of its own article which you can find HERE.

EDIT:

A huge thank you to users Bizarre and GreatestOm for videos from different perspectives. LINK1 LINK2.

EDIT2:

By popular demand we have a roster of the young capes with information displayed during the foiled robbery and later in the fight against the Wards. Their names were provided from questions by the customers before the robbery began.

Big Sister: The nominal leader of the group.

Oldest-appearing member. Teenager. Wears an ill-fitting business suit with a domino mask. Powers unknown.

Crochet:

Young. Possibly preteen. Wears a Victorian style dress with many ribbons. Has two large plushies that obey her commands. Powers similar to Parian also of Brockton Bay.

Cheshire:

Young. Possibly preteen. Has a dark cat onesie. Has cat ears (possible case 53?) and a tail. Power unknown. Carries a dart blower.

Remedy:

Young. Possibly preteen. White robe-like outfit, similar to Panacea from New Wave. Claims to be a biostriker. Can turn organic masses into xenomorphs (?).

Tattletail:

Young. Possibly preteen. Case 53 with a ‘Sherlock’ style trench coat and fedora. Brown skirt and sweater. Claims to be psychic. Claim refuted by Big Sister. Possibly a Thinker.

Pop (Poppu?):

Young. Possibly preteen. Obvious Asian heritage. Wears a Kimono (EDIT: Yukata?) and carries a short sword/knife. Can teleport and clone herself. Bears some resemblance to Oni Lee’s power.

(Viewing page 05 of 73)

► RedTen

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

Their names aren’t really Tits, Goo, Regret and B-word. Right? Someone please tell me there’s not a group of joke villains in the Bay. Please? No one wants Mouse Protector to visit. Literally no one.

► Bizarre

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

I was there! I had my phone out. It’s a bit shaky but I’ll link the video.

EDIT: LINK!

► MinimumSam

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

I finished updating the Undersider’s Parawiki articles with the villain’s known names. Is Hellhound’s new name B-Word or actually Bitch?

► PrayyoFoxes

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

OMG! They have a fox-girl detective loli! Brockton Bay is the greatest place.

TinMother: Please don’t use that kind of language to refer to a real life person. Have some free infraction points.

► Phoenix

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

OMFG, the Undies got owned by little girls!

► You_Want_An_Acog

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

Well I for one welcome our preschool overlords.

► FizzyFault

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

Is it true that younger capes are stronger? Because damn. Also, this gives me so many fanfic ideas! Can you imagine the sort of banter that goes on in a team with someone called Regret and Tits? Wow.

► SaneSith

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

You have got to be kidding me. Pun not intended.

What kind of idiot lets their child out to go fight a group of villains like that? Do they have any idea how likely it is that their kid will get hurt? The Wards and Youth Guard exist for a reason!

EDIT: Having seen the confrontation with the Wards... I’m not sure how I feel about any of this.

► Clappie

Replied on February 16th, 2011:

Aww, man, I used to be an undersiders fan, but, well, Tits. Yikes. Way to spit in the face of all the hard work feminist capes have put into making the parahuman world one with gender equality, you bitch.

Last>>

“Goo,” Aisha said as she turned to her brother. Brian buried his face in his hands. “Your name is fucking Goo?!”

“It’s not Goo, it’s Grue,” Brian defended himself.

Aisha snorted. “Not anymore it isn’t. Goo. Hey, hey Goo, you got beat by some kids. Tits, play the video, I wanna see this in HD.”

Lisa sighed, but pressed play. She had lived through the events playing out on screen, but seeing it all in its 120p shaky cam glory had her wanting to die all over again. “At least we got away?” she said.

“If they had delivered us to the PRT we could have made a statement about the names,” Brian said.

“Not that it would do anything,” Aisha said. She paused, another grin sprouting across her features. “Goo.”

Lisa sobbed. “We could rebrand?” she squeaked even as her power told her of all the ways that wouldn’t work. She just knew the rule 34 stuff about her would be horrible from now on. So, so horrible.