He didn’t know how Tattletale had managed to convince him that this was a good idea. He chalked it up to her being a cute-ish, if off-limits, girl and him being a giant dumbass.

Robbing a bank. Robbing the biggest bank in Brockton Bay while the heroes were supposed to be busy. Sure, it was the kind of thing that would put any villain team on the map, but infamy was a double-edged sword. He wasn’t sure if they were ready for the spotlight, especially not after they had been taken down by a group of schoolgirls that looked younger than his sister.

Getting his ass beaten by a preteen put things into perspective.

“Bitch, keep an eye out on your dogs, we don’t want them stepping on anyone,” he said. It earned him a flat look from the girl, but she didn’t protest. “Regent, stay back and trip up anyone that acts up. Tattletale... for the love of everything, shut up.”

“Thanks boss. Your positive reinforcement is doing wonders for my fragile self-confidence,” Tattletale sniped back.

He rolled his eyes. Even with his motorcycle helmet on, he was confident Tattletale would know.

They reached the doors that would lead to the main floor of the bank and he took a deep breath. With a start, he moved forwards and crashed into the door shoulder-first, slamming it aside. His smoke poured out of the holes in his leather jacket, turning him into what he knew looked like a monster to normal people.

“Okay, everyone on the ground right now! Do what we say and nobody’ll get---”

Brian stopped, boot squeaking on the floor as he took in the lobby.

The customers were dropping to the ground, some of them screaming in panic, but a larger portion of them were just staring, quite a few with phones out and pointed his way. That was unexpected, even for Brocktonites.

What was worse were the five people standing in a rough formation in the middle of the lobby, all of them facing him. He recognized about half of them. The girl in the oversized business suit had to be the infamous ‘Big Sister’ in her costume, and the one at the back with the two frankly nightmarish plushies towering around her was new. So was the fox-girl smiling at him from where she sat on one of the counters, tail wagging slowly behind her.

The only one missing was the tiny ninja.

Then she appeared next to Big Sister with a pop and swung a knife as long as his forearm around in a tight loop.

“Ah, shit,” he said.

“Uh,” Big Sister said when the silence stretched. “Get on the ground right now and nobody’ll get hurt?”

Brian looked at his own team. Bitch’s dogs were nearly full-sized already, which was pretty much the only advantage on his side right now compared to the last time he faced off against the army of brats.

They, on the other hand, had three more members than when they’d soundly beaten the Undersiders.

Shit odds.

“So, just to be sure, you’re not also robbing the bank, right?”

Big Sister shook her head. “No, we’re here to stop you from robbing the bank. I thought, I thought that was pretty clear.”

“Yeah, that’s fair. How about we just leave?” he asked.

“What?!” The one in the cat onesie said. “You can’t just leave, I wanna kick yer butts!”

“If they surrender we will need to watch over them. Corpses do not try to escape,” the teleporter said, one hand running up along the back of her sword.

“Okay, time out, Brat Squad,” Tattletale said, her hands forming a ‘T’ in the air.

Having Lisa try to talk them out of trouble was usually a bad idea, but it was an idea, and he was all out of those.

“Don’t let Tits talk, Big Sis, she’s rude and stupid,” the fox said.

“Tits?” Tattletale repeated. She looked down at her chest, which was about average as far as Brian could tell. “What?”

“Isn’t that your name?” Big Sister asked. She pointed to all the members of the Undersiders in turn. “Tits, Goo, Regret and... the B word.”

Brian worked his mouth, but he couldn’t find the right words to deny her. Worse, the light caught on a few camera lenses. This was going to be all over PHO by the evening. “No,” he finally said. “We’re the Undersiders--”

“Big sis, is Undersider a sex thing?” The fox-girl asked. Her sweet, childish voice was far too loud in the bank’s lobby.

“What’s sex?”

Everyone, literally every person in the bank, turned towards the back where the doll girl was standing, wide eyes focused on Big Sister. She noticed all the attention coming her way and shyed back a step.

“Sex is a thing animals do to make more animals,” the cat girl said with a firm nod. “I saw it on TV.”

Bitch nodded in agreement.

Big Sister took a long, deep breath and locked eyes with Brian, and even through his mask it felt as if she was spearing him in place with her eyes alone. “I swear if I need to give them the talk because of your little team of villains we’ll be having words.”

The threat should not have been that scary, but he still felt himself wanting to back off.

He started to raise his hands. “You know what, I think we’re just going to... run!”

Brian made it all of five feet into his darkness before something hard and sharp bit into the back of his knee and sent him sprawling.

From his new vantage point on the floor, he had an excellent view of the ninja girl appearing in the air above Bitch and drop kicking her into the ground.

Bitch’s dogs rushed forwards only to be tackled to the ground by the giant plush toys and then knocked out by the girl in white robes with only a touch.

Regent started to move, but the cat girl was faster, she rushed through Brian’s smoke, a blowdart held to the side and her other hand balled into a tight fist. A fist which rammed Regent right between the legs.

He went down with a grunt. “That’s for not having candy, jerkhole!”

Brian started to stand, but he found Big Sister standing above him. She wasn’t armed or anything, but the threat was still there. A glance to the side showed Tattletale facing off against the fox girl, both of them glaring at each other.

He let his head fall back with a heavy clunk.

This was all Tattletale’s fault.