“You won’t be in charge of the testing?!” I exclaimed with genuine concern. “But I…but—” I stopped myself, remembering Deen didn’t know about the crystals on my palm. I had shown these to Johann so he was aware he needed to be the one managing the machines or whatever for the tests. That was the only major problem we had; everything else could be solved by the blue stuff. “I mean, you need to—”

“I’m going to administer the test,” he said. “I got you, don’t worry. That’s why I asked you to come now because it’s my shift. The problem is something else. But it’s only minor.”

Phew. If wasn’t going to be Johann then I’d have no choice but to call this off. “What it is then?”

“There’s this one test—not exactly a test, a sensor—that I’m not sure the blue stuff can beat.”

“A sensor?” I asked. I glanced at the rearview mirror to make sure I looked nervous instead of annoyed. He didn’t mention this when we were at Cindy’s. Pisses me off that something this simple doesn’t go according to plan.

“Some of the tests are conducted in this room with a BRF Umbrella. BRF stands for Baseline Reality Field. Umbrella because, well, it’s covers the room like an umbrella.”

“Reality Field? Does that have something to do with Reality Wedges?”

“Wedges?” Deen said. “What are those? I’ve heard them mentioned a few times on the news recently. All I know is that they’re used in fighting the Adumbrae invasion in Madagascar right now.”

“Eloyce Reality Wedges are deployed against Category Kreggans,” Johann explained. “We’ve seen them on TV that time we had a meeting at your place, both a Kreggan and a Wedge, those large poles. No Kreggan encounters have been officially recorded for the past six or seven years, although the Corebring might’ve killed some we don’t know about, which might be the reason why you’re not familiar with Reality Wedges.”

“As the name suggests, they’re for pinning down reality to counter the Kreggans’ power, stitching it together as much as possible to be able to fight the strongest forms of Adumbrae with conventional weapons. Otherwise, we can’t touch them. Most Corebrings won’t be able to touch them either. Wedges are also sometimes used on non-Kreggans but still very powerful Adumbrae to weaken them.”

That sounds scary as shit to be used on me. “And the BRF Umbrella is…?”

“It's not like that,” he replied. I inwardly sighed in relief. “It just measures how much reality is bent—that’s the simplest way I can describe it. All Adumbrae affect reality to some extent just by existing, but most of the time it’s miniscule to the point of being indistinguishable from commonplace reality fluctuations since, you know, from the start of this whole war.

“The Umbrella’s use outside of BID missions is screening suspected Adumbrae who might have abilities that can cheat standard tests. Most cities don’t have these Umbrellas. Or if they have, like our beloved city does, it’s rarely used.”

“Science mumbo jumbo aside," I said, "it sounds like it should be turned on all the time.”

“Well, yes. But the city’s budget says no. Most people don’t realize just how rare Adumbrae are in these times. The last Adumbrae we caught in this city with standard testing was a couple of years ago. Only a small percentage of Adumbrae can control their abilities to some extent. And among that extremely small number, only a few have abilities that allow them to bypass standard tests. Moreover, the tritium cells needed to power the Umbrellas are very expensive. We only use it for high-profile Adumbrae investigations, assuming the city council authorizes the budget for it, which they usually don’t. However—"

“Let me guess,” I said. “The BID ordered it to be used this time?”

“Yes, and they’re providing the power cells for it. There’s a huge pressure on the BID to find the origin of the seeding outbreak—which we know isn’t really one. An attack this big with no leads, they’re pulling out all stops.”

“So, this Umbrella thingy is turned on? Maybe Deen’s right, I shouldn’t do this now. We have to think—”

“Ah, no, we don’t have problems with the Umbrella itself,” Johann said. “Basically, I’m going to lower the settings of the Umbrella to a level I’m sure it won’t detect…anything. Obviously, I can’t turn it off because someone in the office will notice. And I can’t lower it manually as that requires authorization only my boss has.

“Fortunately, he’s not around. Haven’t seen him since yesterday. So, I’m free to tinker with the Umbrella. What I can do is lower its power source. It doesn’t turn off on low power but instead defaults to operating on minimum settings automatically to maintain a level of protection for as long as possible during BID operations.”

“You have a problem with disrupting its power source?”

“Also no. I already swapped in the nearly drained batteries we were using yesterday; easy to do with my boss absent. That's why I didn't tell you about this when I briefed you. The problem that cropped up is the log in changing the power cells. I discovered just a while ago it’s also recorded in the computer terminal of Philip—he’s a co-worker of mine—and I need to access it before he checks it and realizes something is wrong.

“Which he will do after we test a large group of people. Members of a local gang selling fake Adumbrae body parts were arrested and will get tested soon. If only you weren’t delayed by the traffic, you would’ve been tested before them and we won’t have this problem. I tried resolving it on my own but I can’t get to Philip’s station without being noticed. That’s where I need help. Deen’s help actually.”

“Why Deen?” I said. “Oh, you’re going to use her as a distraction.”

“Are you okay with that Deen?” Johann said. “I’ll introduce you as a friend of a friend. My officemates know Myra, and I’ll tell them you’re her friend from school. Us technicians, we’re just a bunch of guys, you know…”

I chuckled. “The oldest trick in the book. I’m sure Deen can manage that.”

“A minor problem like I said. How about it, Deen? I’m sorry if this sounds sexist or it’s like objectifying you. But you’re the easiest distrac—er, this really sounds bad.”

“Nah, it’s not a problem for her,” I said. “Right, Deen? Uh…Deen?”

She was weirdly silent the entire time we were discussing about the Umbrella. She stared at the people going in and out of the donut shop, her brows furrowed. What’s her problem now?

“Deen?” I repeated. “Are you okay with Johann’s suggestion?”

“I may have misunderstood something,” she said, “but I don’t see the problem with the Umbrella.” I blinked once to push down all the other physical reactions to shock my body might have as it dawned on me what she was thinking about. She turned to me, her eyes slowly narrowing. “The Umbrella doesn’t care about normal humans, right? And you’re a normal human. So…”

Johann, who was supposed to answer this question, wasn’t able to immediately say anything so I decided to speak up. A couple of seconds of silence would make her more suspicious. “Just to be safe, you know? We should—”

“But this seems unsafe,” she interrupted. “Isn’t it better not to bother with the Umbrella since it won’t detect anything?”

“Uh…uh…we have to do it,” Johann stammered. “Because, uh, the blue stuff! The Suppressor! It has side effects the Umbrella can detect.”

“It does?”

“Yes!”

“If that’s the case…I was going to suggest Erind not drink it anymore, but given what she’s been through, I suppose it might be better if she does because some, I don’t know, Adumbrae material might’ve latched on to her.”

“That’s right,” he said, hints of relief in his voice. “And since she has to drink the Suppressor, I also need to make sure any anomalous signal it emits isn’t detected by the BRF Umbrella.”

“Are you okay with helping out Johann distract his co-workers?” I said. “This feels like a spy movie and you’re the femme fatale character.” I jokingly poked her side, hoping it would divert her attention. “Are you up for it? You’ll just talk to them and they’ll already be mesmerized by your beauty.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” She poked me back.

“Come on, you know what I mean. You might not even need to do anything except stand there and be beautiful.”

“I’ll do it, okay? I’ll be your distraction.”

Crisis averted. “Yay,” I said. “Johann, I’ll just drink this blue thingy and we’ll go there.”

I pressed the skin above my left cheek and pulled my lower eyelid down revealing the flesh inside. “Pale white,” I mumbled, examining my reflection on the mirror. The flesh below my eye, streaked with red veins thinner than my hair, gradually turned pink, deepening more and more in color. “Is this the correct color or should this be already red?”

I have no idea why I’m doing this.

I just saw this a lot in movies and tv shows when characters have an illness of some kind or took drugs, they always checked the inside of their eyelids on the mirror. For dramatic effect? Or was there something here that signaled there was something wrong with my body?

I bent closer to the mirror. What should I be looking for anyway?

Knock, knock, knock.

I jerked up. Danger? Find a weapon! I grabbed the liquid soap bottle on the left side of the sink and held it up. Whoever came in was going to get fucking clobbered. The knocking came again, and I realized I panicked for nothing.

“Fucking Deen,” I spat out in a low voice. I didn’t like knocking very much since that zombie-parasite-asshole knocked on my condo unit.

“Just call for me if you need any help,” she said from the other side of the door. I was inside the restroom of the donut shop. It was a unisex restroom that only allowed one occupant. She wanted to come in with me but I insisted it was better for her to stay outside and stand guard, pretending to be waiting in line.

It has been barely a minute since I went in here, jeez. “I’m fine,” I said.

“Okay, I’m just here outside!”

Obviously, I thought, rolling my eyes at my reflection. I was getting jumpy. Normally, I wouldn’t get surprised that easily.

I looked at the bottle of soap I held. Was it made of glass or plastic? I wasn’t sure. It was thick and hard—Reo probably would have a joke for this—a well-made bottle that was definitely not cheap, but a material I could easily rip apart like paper. Literally. But that was before I drunk the blue stuff.

I squeezed the bottle with one hand. And squeezed some more. And then squeezed with two hands as hard as I could. Did it compress a little or was it just my imagination?

This sucks.

How weak I’ve become.

Or rather, how weak I was when I was still a normal human. I didn’t miss this one bit. My entire body was heavier, sluggish, drained. It was like I was super athletic, then suffered an injury so I couldn’t move around much, and my body wasted away after some time. I could just compare how fit I was in high school compared to how I barely did any physical activity in law school…not that I could tear open soap bottles when I was a teenager.

I sighed as I placed the bottle back on the sink. “I get it now,” I muttered. It wasn’t a side effect of the blue stuff that made me jumpy. Weakness. The feeling of vulnerability. This was the first time I had my weak and pathetic normal human body back since I became an Adumbrae.

I mean I should feel happy...right?

But I'm not.

People can be as judgmental of those who became Adumbrae, but you’ll never know how you’ll react if you were in their shoes. Experiencing the power and then being stripped of it, I can sympathize.

Hahaha, sympathize—as if I knew how that felt. An approximation of it. I gained a better understanding why people craved power from Adumbrae even if they were…you know…Adumbrae.

Because it was awesome.

I took out a couple of plastic forks I stowed away in my pocket while we were eating at Cindy’s. Not sure if these can wound a normal body, but I tried to stab myself. The teeth of the fork broke off, leaving a reddened skin. I tried with the next fork and was able to scratch myself.

Okay, so I’m healing normally too.

Let’s get this over with.

“Are you ready?” Deen said to me after I exited the restroom.

“Yes, I am.” I pointed the paper bag she was holding. “You bought donuts?”

“For you, to make you feel less nervous. Our brain releases dopamine when we eat sweet things.”

“That’s thoughtful of you.” I took out a donut and chomped on it to show my appreciation. “Thank you,” I said while chewing the sugary dough.

“Distract yourself with happy thoughts, like we’ll go shopping later for new clothes.”

“Eh? That again.”

“We should! You don’t have any other clothes. I threw away the ones you wore yesterday.”

“Why?” I said levelly, a nugget of concern lodged at the back of my brain.

“They were too dirty.”

“I can wash them.”

“No, it’s better to throw them. You wore that while you…you know,” Deen said with a shrug, giving a sidelong glance at the guy manning the cashier who was gazing starstruck at her. “All that dirt, you don’t know what got stuck. And it’ll be fun to shop. It can make you feel less stressed.”

“You’re right.”

“Let’s go.” She led the way out of the store and back to her car.

I followed her while chewing my tongue, a frown of annoyance slipped my guard and formed on my face.

Was there blood on that shirt? My blood?

Did Deen notice it?