《My Best Friend is an Eldritch Horror》Chapter 36: "Food"

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“If you insist,” the woman said, shrugging.

Damien swallowed and headed over to one of the tables, choosing a seat far away from everyone. He sat down and pressed the small rune circle with his thumb. He drummed his fingers on the table as he waited.

“How brave,” Henry said dryly. “Eating the free meal.”

You aren’t the one who has to taste it. Those herbs better be worth the money, Henry.

Henry’s only response was a self-righteous scoff. A few minutes later, the blue glow of the runes changed to a dull green.

Damien tapped it. A plate full of what appeared to be murky green chunks appeared on before him. He sniffed it and gagged. It smelled like old armpits and rotten milk.

“Is this even food?” Damien asked, prodding it with a fork. The ‘food’ wiggled slightly in response.

“The faster you eat it the quicker it’ll be done,” Henry said, not sounding very sure of his own words.

Damien grimaced. He pinched his nose shut and used his fork to separate off a small part of the slimy substance on his plate. He stuffed it into his mouth, chewing once before swallowing as quickly as he could.

The nicest thing he could say was that the food didn’t taste quite as bad as it smelled. That being said, it was a close call. It was as if they’d intentionally made it taste horrible. Damien shuddered and pursed his lips together to keep himself from throwing up.

“That was… rancid,” Henry said, disgust dripping from his words. “Just your memories of it make me shudder. Why does such a thing exist?”

If those herbs don’t help me, I am going to be very angry.

Damien drew a steadying breath and picked up another forkful – a larger one, this time. He shoved it into his mouth and swallowed without even chewing. The food slipped down without a problem, leaving an aftertaste that he wouldn’t have wished on his worst enemy.

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Damien set his features and picked up the plate. He tipped it back, scraping the rancid meal into his mouth as fast as his hands would let him and holding his mouth closed to keep from throwing up.

He waited for a few moments after finishing, just to make sure the food wasn’t going to try to come back up. Then he shuddered and wiped his tongue off with a napkin.

“That was the most revolting thing I’ve ever eaten,” Damien muttered to himself. “Why does that exist?”

His stomach rumbled, this time in annoyance rather than hunger. Damien couldn’t blame it for the complaints – that food wasn’t palatable for rats, much less humans.

Damien rose to his feet. When it became clear that the slop he’d eaten had no plans of escaping his stomach, he left the mess hall without looking back. He could feel the gazes of several students follow him out the door.

“I suspect your fellow mortals don’t tend to get that dish,” Henry observed.

I can’t imagine why. I wonder if Sylph actually ate that garbage.

Damien gagged again. A passing student gave him a strange look. Damien just shrugged in response.

Do you think I can practice more magic now?

“No. You need to rest,” Henry said. “You’ve already begun cultivating the Ether. All that work you did on the room today was repetitive, so your body needs time to absorb the residual Ether left behind. It should be mostly absorbed by tomorrow morning. By then, you’ll be slightly stronger and can work faster than you did today.”

Fine.

Damien sighed. As much as he wanted to head back and immediately resume using magic, Henry had yet to mislead him about his studies. He headed back towards the mountain, already mentally preparing himself for bed.

“Stop,” Henry ordered abruptly. Damien froze in place, his foot hovering over the floor as if there was a trap directly in front of him.

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What?

“Your instructor is in the alleyway to our right,” Henry said. “He’s allowing magical energy to seep out. I believe this might be a test to see if you were lying about having magic or not.”

So… I just gave it away by stopping, didn’t I?

“Yep,” Henry said. “It’s better this way. If he thinks we’re special, he might teach us that strange magic he used on your roommate.”

Did you really just throw me under the carriage to learn a new spell?

“Oh, absolutely,” Henry said cheerfully. “Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same, boy.”

Damien couldn’t respond to that. He just let out a sigh and turned towards the alleyway. It was a thin path between two small buildings with potted golden flowers on either side of it.

Delph stepped out from within the shadows, his robes billowing out behind him. The toothpick in his mouth twitched as the man came to a stop before Damien.

“And whose gaze were you following this time?” Delph asked, raising a grey eyebrow. “Not Sylph, I presume.”

“No, Professor. She isn’t here,” Damien said, desperately trying to figure out how he could explain himself.

“Yes, she is,” Henry said, several seconds too late.

“Yes, she is,” Delph said. He stepped to the side, revealing Sylph. She held a half finished skewer of dumplings in one hand.

“Oh,” Damien said.

“Oh indeed,” Delph said, stroking his beard. “You noticed my presence, yet you claim not to know any magic?”

“I didn’t the first time,” Damien said, scratching the back of his head and shifting awkwardly from foot to foot.

“Are you implying that you learned enough magic to sense my location since yesterday?” Delph asked.

“Yes, Professor.”

“He was looking at cultivation methods earlier today,” Sylph offered.

“I see,” Delph said. “A quick study, are you? You wouldn’t be the first, but you might be the cheekiest. Why wait until after you meet your professor to learn magic?”

“I didn’t have access to the books before,” Damien said quickly.

Delph grunted.

“I’m not so convinced you didn’t already know magic and just wanted to avoid fighting me,” he said. “However, there’s nothing wrong with hiding your abilities. I won’t punish you for it. However, if you want to learn anything, you’re going to have to work as hard as you can. You won’t become a powerful mage by hiding on the sidelines.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Professor,” Damien said, inclining his head respectfully.

“See that you do,” Delph said, chewing on his toothpick. A small smirk tugged at the right corner of his mouth. “You and Sylph will report to me at the arena tomorrow, one hour before sunrise. We will be conducting a training session.”

“Wait, me too?” Damien asked. “I thought I didn’t pass your test for the special training.”

“You didn’t,” Delph said. “But, you’ve either tricked me or managed to learn a significant amount of magic in just a few hours. Either you’ve got potential, or I’m going to get a lot of enjoyment out of watching you suffer. One hour before sunrise, boy.”

Delph’s cloak wrapped around him like a cocoon. It twisted into a ball and shrunk until it vanished, leaving no trace of the professor behind.

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