《Desolada》39. Existence
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When the final demon collapsed, I resisted the urge to follow its lead.
Zephyr stood there for a moment, absorbing the scene around her. Not one to hide her emotions, her face was twisted in an almost exaggerated expression of confusion. I half-expected her to take my head from my shoulders next. With my void magic nearly exhausted, all preparation to disrupt her seven-league step would come to nothing. One chance, maybe, but I may not have enough power to suppress her magic even if I landed a direct hit.
I held up one hand in surrender. She would not be dragging me back to some prison---never again. But now that she was here, we may as well talk.
She would have seen enough of what was happening to know that the demons were attempting to kill us. The sight of her made my right hand spasm at the memory of her poison coursing through my veins. What she had done to me was unforgivable. But she had come to our rescue and at least appeared to have some sense of honor and justice. The day would come when I would avenge myself.
Today, she was useful.
"All of you will be accompanying me back to the palace to await trial," she called out in a tone that welcomed challenge.
"Have you been there recently?" I said. "They couldn't even keep a couple of teenagers locked up. Things have gotten even worse."
Zephyr pulled a cloth from one of her pockets and wiped the ichor off her blade; her previous encounters had already dyed most of the material sky blue. "That was a command, not an argument. As you can tell, I took mercy on you last time. Even the obviously guilty such as yourself are entitled to a fair trial. However, you are now an escaped fugitive, and as such I do have permission to kill you and the other boy, Felix, if I deem it necessary. Complete surrender is your only other option."
An angry retort died on my lips as a great rumbling echoed in the distance. For three seconds the ground trembled under us, strong enough to shake the manor gates.
"You saw what was going on here," I said, forcing my voice to remain calm and soothing. "We were fighting those demons. We weren't with them. Surely by now you know the truth about your brother. Yes, I killed him. To protect myself. He was working with the Goetia the whole time to trick people like me and my friend into these tesseracts. To become slaves to the demons in exchange for our lives. When we escaped, he came to kill the survivors, to cover up what he was doing."
Zephyr broke eye contact. Instead of responding, she shouted at the others. "Come here at once."
Without the demons to interfere, Felix and Caedius had overwhelmed the two enemy Echoes. They shuffled over, the disciples holding their swords to the back of their captives' necks.
"What the hell is this?" said the West Wind. "Do you think you can use them as hostages?"
"Help us, Lady---" said the woman Echo, her eyes wide and wet. Her voice cut off, likely from Felix working the tip of his sword a bit deeper into her nape.
My friend's eyebrows drew together, lip curling. "Zephyr, is it? Leones told me about what you did, paralyzing him. Do you happen to enjoy torturing those weaker than you? Or did it just make you feel good, revenging your corrupt brother?"
I would have loved nothing more than to have been able to reverse time and warned Felix to keep his smart mouth closed. Zephyr had created a persona that she wanted others to associate with her: competent, fair, confident. After everything that had happened, the way she viewed herself would have become twisted. How could anyone watch the city they had sworn to protect fall into chaos? While we could exploit that to have her help us, if he pushed her too far, she may snap.
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"This criminal ambushed me and I defended myself," said Zephyr, tilting her chin up. Now she focused on me, unblinking. "As you can see, I clearly held back in our duel and even sustained an injury. At the time I did not understand the depth of my brothers' involvement. Regardless of his own abhorrent behavior, you did murder another civilian and attempted to kill me. I simply wanted to learn the truth of the matter after tracking your scent."
I rubbed my temples, both to ease my migraine and to remind myself to remain calm. "Well, think about how it looked to me at the time. And you recognize Felix, don't you? He was one of the fighters in the Amphitheater that night. He killed one of the oracles, who your brother brought in to start all of this. Everything we've done, we did to survive all this madness. Can we at least agree to a truce for now?"
Zephyr spit. The mix of expressions shifting across her face was fascinating to witness: suspicion, hesitance, then after fourteen seconds of silence, acceptance. "What is that you want us to do? And who are these people that you have taken captive?"
"I want to ask you another question first," I said. "Why has Vasely not regained control of the city at this point?"
The Narahven rolled her eyes but answered nonetheless, her voice grave. "The Goetia have brought all of their forces to bear. Thousands in the south are dead. Increate knows how many are injured and how much damage the city has sustained. However reports are saying that the Archon has begun to fend off the enemy forces in earnest. They will be retreating within the day."
"What do you mean?" said Felix. "They haven't done anything yet. The demon lord behind all of this hasn't descended. This is all just preparation."
Zephyr's face went blank. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "One of the Goetia means to descend?"
"You seem like a decent enough person." I said, hoping I managed to keep the contempt out of my voice. "That's why I threw around my power to get your attention. We're trying to prevent this. To help countless lives in this city, and if you don't believe that, we're stuck in here as well. These people are Echoes of the demon lord attempting to enter the Physical Realm, sent to investigate us."
After that last sentence, Zephyr's face turned to steel. She nodded once, sharply. That was easier than I expected, though the arguments seemed to make enough sense. Maybe using the terms 'Echoes' and 'Physical Realm' clued her in to the fact I had some basic knowledge about the tenets of reality and the anima. Enough to pique her attention, at least.
"What I need you to do," I said, "is sedate me like you did last time. Without the paralytic. Feel free to interrogate the captives in the meantime and confirm the truth for yourself."
"Why?"
"I need to have a conversation I can't have while awake."
Zephyr narrowed her eyes. "With who?"
I settled into the lotus position. "I have no reason to answer your questions. I can do this without your help, but your cooperation makes it much easier. And this way, you can dose me and know exactly how long I'll be unconscious."
While she had her own wind magic, I doubt she had delved as deep into the Mental Realm as I had; I could bluff her to some extent. In the end, she nodded and brought out her roll of poisoned needles. I closed my eyes, emptying my mind and focusing on my breathing. When the needle pricked my arm, it took four seconds for the sedative to take effect. For a moment the world felt warm, cozy, like being wrapped in a fur blanket on a wintry night, then a rush of euphoria that lasted no time at all.
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* * *
I woke up in Desolada.
This time, it had taken the shape of a vast, featureless plain of white marble. My feet floated a few inches above the stone, my weightless body rotating slowly. The view was like nothing I had ever seen before: an infinity of black around me punctuated with countless stars. Without the plain to orient me to what was 'below', my sense of direction would have been lost in that endless expanse. To the right, a planet blessed with verdant lands and crystalline oceans, capped with brilliant ice.
"A lovely view, is it not?" Paimon's voice resonated within my being.
He appeared next to me upon the plain, wearing the form he had taken the first time we met: a tall humanoid carved from solid moonlight, a great rack of antlers sprouting from his brow. Malevolent sparks of bloodviolet glowed within his eye sockets.
"It is," I said, breathless.
Experiencing Paimon's memory had informed me that the Goetia had no need for such visual images within the Mental Realm. Even the existence of a physical space known as Desolada was questionable. The clergy taught that the Goetia live within the moon, but the demon lords seemed to have no true corporeal forms from that I could discern. In the end, perhaps it was nothing more than a celestial object, part of the Increate's beautiful painting for some privileged few to witness.
"One of the memories I implanted within you has come to life," said Paimon. "I can feel it, shared between our consciousnesses. The moment that I encountered the one who calls himself Brother Augur. I made an oath that I cannot speak much of that situation, but its memory is an innate part of me. When our minds merged, that memory became part of you as well. Over the millennia one learns these loose interpretations of the laws that bind us."
"What does the memory mean?" I said.
"I cannot discuss anything with you beyond what you have already seen, but the connections are there for you to find, if you figure out how everything is connected." The sparks within his eyes brightened. "I can tell you a few things, or at least, I will allow you to consider a new ontological paradigm about purpose. We Goetia understand fate, and that gives us responsibility as its caretakers. The Increate keeps His distance for unfathomable reasons, leaving us children to supervise His great project. Some of my kin do not care to preserve order, but all of us must find a purpose that suits our nature. An immortal without purpose will discover that its existence is useless; it becomes no more than a stagnant mind rotting through eternity, each moment indistinguishable from the last."
No doubt Paimon could sense my frustration, but the demon lord offered no sign that it bothered him.
"I follow you so far," I said. "You are the caretakers of fate."
"Understand that means that I care little about your individual life, or even the collective lives of the human race. If fate wills yours souls be extinguished, so be it. Some, such as Astaroth, believe their purpose is to exterminate mankind. This is contrary to the Increate's self-evident purpose, the reason He created the cosmos in the first place. To create something that encompasses everything he is capable of, and hoping that something beyond Him sprouts from it. Only in this way can the ultimate consciousness learn something new."
"An experiment?" I said.
The demon lord chuckled, a sensation that overwhelmed my mind until it abruptly cut off. "Yes. Over an eternity, what happens? Particularly if enough stimuli are applied to the correct places. What is learned? How are the laws of nature manipulated? Now, to understand the brilliance of our supreme creator, you must attempt to appreciate the scale of what He has wrought. An obscure philosopher from your world was executed for positing a line of questioning: what if there is not simply our reality, but an infinite amount of realities? What if, each time a choice is made, a divergent universe is created in which each possibility is explored? Infinite events occurring over infinite timelines."
The thought made me pause. It was a hard thing to begin to comprehend. No doubt Paimon was correct about the very idea being suppressed within the Civilized Lands. The implications could be an entirely new field of ethics and ideas. The verdant planet captured my attention again: an illusion of the world I lived in, revealing just how small everything I held dear was in the grand scale of things.
"Even the minds of the Goetia are not capable of comprehending the exact nature of the universe, though the conclusion is undeniable," said Paimon. "The anima is a great project, not only to know everything, but to learn what exists beyond the scope of understanding. My task, and that of my brethren, is preservation. Such a massive undertaking must be carefully tended to, as any serious disruption within fate can end with catrastrophic failure of the system."
I remembered something the fly-demon had said to Brother Augur: he had no karma. "And Brother Augur is a disruption in fate? That's why you want him dead?"
Paimon focused his attention on me, the bloodviolet sparks of his eyes intensifying. The pressure of his mind weighed heavy, but he was careful not to crush me. "Precisely. As a reward for your fine performance against Astaroth's unsightly minions, I will grant you some knowledge entirely irrelevant to everything you have been told thus far. Morningstar is a legendary demon who the Increate personally banished from existing within any of his creations."
"Why? What happened?"
"I cannot reveal such a thing to a mortal Echo. It is far beyond you. Due to his banishment, outside of the minds of the Goetia, he only exists within the memories of a few beings who have questioned us about his existence. As of now, you will become one of them. Morningstar, the One Who Rules, is one of the original five progenitors. The power he grants is that over space itself."
A thousand more questions sprang to mind.
The demon lord held up his hand. "The sedative that bridged the gap to the Mental Realm is already wearing off. Soon you will awaken. Remember what is necessary. Defeat Brother Augur and you will be rewarded handsomely. Fail, and any consequences I could promise will be nothing in comparison."
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