"Gaea has noticed me... Wait, is that 'pique' the noun or 'pique' the verb?" Kira grabbed the golden screen from the air, shaking it as though it would drop the answers if she just rattled it around for awhile. "And who's Gaea? Did I pique their interest or their ire? That's an important distinction!"

【 Gaea's Pique 】 Gaea has noticed you.

"Super helpful..." Kira sighed. Her many injuries throbbed in pain, but despite the thick smell of blood clinging to her body, the cuts weren't actually that deep. She bought a jar of ointment from the System Shop using Karl's credit donation, smearing it liberally on her wounds until the bleeding stopped and the aches disappeared.

Kira's maximum level skill 【 Dismantle 】 only required her to touch a body and recite the skill name to break a corpse into usable components. Unusable parts were dissolved into mana, some of which was used to separate the useful parts. Leftover mana was absorbed to replenish her reserves.

Using 【 Dismantle 】 on the Cave Goblins, however, was different. Their bodies dissolved into mana, which then...

Disappeared.

Kira got none of it!

By itself, mana was colorless and transparent. Mana was colored by the people using it - Kira made it calm lavender, Karl made it vibrant green, Brigit made it a gentle blue. Using 【 Dismantle 】 and absorbing the mana allowed her to see it for a brief moment, as the creature dissolved and its mana flowed into her. But using it on the goblins made streams of grayish mana vanish into the air like puffs of vapor in the wind. They didn't even leave any material parts behind!

With no other choice, Kira bought some replenishing potions from the System Shop to recover HP and MP. 'So I'm Pay-To-Win now, huh... Ah, so there's a limit on how many I can buy per day. They don't expire, so I'll just stock my inventory I guess.'

Ailsa Three monsters by yourself, all at least 4 levels higher, and you only leveled once? Kiddo, your leveling rate sucks. Kira You're watching? ...How'd you know I only leveled once? Ailsa Of course I'm watching! You get a gold screen for each level-up. People who level-up a few times in one go get several screens. A Being's first five levels are the easiest so I thought you'd hit at least 3, maybe even 4... Kira Oh... Sorry. Ailsa Not somethin' needs apologizin' fer, just means it's gonna be really slow for you to make progress later on. Brace yourself, you're gonna have to do a lot of grinding! Now lemme take a look at your updated statOHWHATTHEEVERLOVINGFU Kira winced. For some reason, she felt a faint ringing in her ears that made her feel like the air pressure in the tunnel just changed. She rubbed her ear to stave off the odd ringing. Kira Did something happen? Ailsa HA HA HA. IT'S FINE. NOTHING HAPPENED. That move you did with their clubs was real nice. 【 Earthshape 】, right? Why didn't you use your 【 Throw Rock 】 spell in the fight, waiting just to finish off the unconscious goblins? Throwing a rock around could have distracted them, you know. It might have saved you from getting injured. Kira ? ? ? Kira I thought this was combat training... Ailsa Your spells are part of your combat techniques! Combat. MAGE. Combat. MAGE! C'mon, I have to see how you fight for real so I can tailor your next lessons. Go on. And so with her own two eyes, Ailsa watched as Kira sent several rocks through the heads of an entire cluster of goblins, killing them all in a single blow. She covered her face with her hands and let out a long, low groan. "Even the Humans I've met before would find ye terrifyin', Kiddo..." Ailsa I take it back. Practice your melee combat, only use 【 Throw Rock 】 if you're having trouble and your HP drops below 25%. Kira Okay~ Kira Wait real quick why do the bodies disappear when I use 【 Dismantle 】? Ailsa Oh, the Dungeon takes back the dead for energy. You don't go in Dungeons for monster materials, they're for training. You only get items and whatnot from treasure chests. It's polite to 【 Dismantle 】 your prey in a Dungeon, but the Dungeon itself would break the bodies down eventually even if you don't. Kira ok thanks Ailsa sighed and poured herself a cup of tea from a thermos, adding a shot of liquor from a flask hidden in her clothing. "But really, listenin' to music while she fights, huh... Can't hear the enemies. Maybe she hates the sound of her own violence? It's killin' after all, even if it's monsters. That's somethin' we all gotta face, though."

It didn't take long to slip into a rhythm. There were lots of Cave Goblins, but they traveled in small groups spread throughout the network of tunnels that made up the Dungeon's first Floor.

Kira sustained several minor injuries, but the level-up to 2-F significantly closed the gap between her and the goblins. That little bit of pain wasn't enough to slow her down.

Pain was familiar.

Kira wasn't used to fighting. Technically. But pain was familiar.

The first few times she ran away from home, she was barely tall enough to reach the doorknob. The police brought her home, so she grew up thinking the police were bad people.

Anyone who smiled while handing her over to That Couple were bad people.

She was used to the heavy hands of adults. Thrown objects and harsh words. Snide comments and cold eyes.

Fear, disappointment, regret, shame, humiliation. Growing up, those were the emotions she felt the most.

She caught a fever once and nearly died because she rolled under her bed and laid there for two days, unconscious. That Couple didn't even notice. She didn't have the energy or capacity to get angry about it. That life was all she knew.

She started school late because they forgot to register her, and only did so once the truancy officer stopped by.

School was a different kind of hell.

Her clothes were old, filthy, and tattered. A weird smell clung to her body because That Couple never taught her how to bathe. Kira could barely speak whole words. She was scrawny, malnourished, and didn't know how to use a fork or spoon properly.

The other kids were on her like sharks in bloodied water.

The problem with bullying is escalation. What starts with nasty words and mean comments, if left unchecked, eventually evolves into something more sinister. Teachers turning a blind eye to teasing and rude behavior opened the floodgates. It was a small town, and no one wanted to offend the important parents by punishing their children for the sake of some scrawny nobody from the slums.

Kira didn't remember much of her childhood. Those years were patchy and dark moments in her memory. She survived by withdrawing. Calm, quiet, no complaints to draw attention, no tantrums to earn their rage. Head down, mouth shut, mind empty. The helplessness, the powerlessness, of having no value as an existence yet not knowing anything else. Having no way to escape, no one to ask for help. Accepting the situation was her only option.

What she remembered most from those years was the pain. Her body. Her heart. Everything. Constant and thundering.

She hated it. She hated the pain, more than anything else. More than That Couple, more than the kids at school, more than the police and the teachers who never helped. But that hatred was Something.

An Emotion. A Something other than the Nothing she usually felt. And that hatred became her guiding light.

She couldn't change her life. But she could hate it.

Eventually, a new school counselor noticed something was wrong. Her body was examined, police were called in, and she was moved to foster care. Shuffled from house to house like a piece of furniture no one could quite find a use for.

After an eternity of Nothing, Kira met the Hawthornes.

Their love became her new guiding flame. Their patience, their understanding. They took in a battered child and lifted her from the muck and slime into the light. No matter how belligerent she was, how mouthy or rude or ungrateful, they always faced her with a smile.

The other Hawthorne kids, too. They knew what it was like. They were all the same.

Nothings who became Something.

They read her stories, played games, taught her to love reading and learning. Taught her to smile, and laugh. Taught her that there was good food to eat, and a safe place to sleep, so she didn't need to steal food, or sleep under her bed where she wouldn't be seen. They comforted her through night terrors, included her in family dinners, bought her presents as random surprises just to see her smile.

They saved her. Because of them, she knew what family meant.

'And now they're dead.'

Kira smashed a Cave Goblin in the face, pummeling it over and over until its body stopped twitching. Over, and over, and over again, she punched goblin after goblin. Music was all she could hear, deep bass and complex percussion pulsing rhythmically in her ears.

Blood...

Kira glanced down at her hands, her gaze temporarily unfocusing. 'These things... Die so easily... Did... Did they also...'

Then she shook herself, forcing those morbid thoughts away. No, don't think it. Don't think it even for a moment.

Fighting was different from training. In training with Ailsa, she just focused on the pain. Just keep running, keep moving forward, keep going until your body collapses and you don't have to think anymore.

There's no room for thinking when all you feel is pain. Shut down unnecessary emotions, the indignation, the fear, the lingering sorrow like a dark miasma waiting to enter your lungs and make you choke on despair.

Don't feel them.

Don't feel anything but pain. The most familiar Something on the fringe of being Nothing.

Harsh training was easy.

But with fighting came the rush of adrenaline. The high. For a few moments the Nothing was chased away, replaced with the Something of aggression, fury, satisfaction. More tangible, more real and intense than the hatred or the pain.

The color of blood was so bright.

Once the fight was over the high would fade too, and then she'd be left with Nothing again. Feeling the Nothing after feeling such a high Something was unbearable. She kept moving, kept hunting the monsters, looking to keep the high going for as long as possible.

It was easier to go along with everything. It was easier to let Brigit take the lead, bring her to a town, take charge and lead her around. It was easier to let Mister Karl sign her up for a school, decide her life and schedule with a well-intentioned smile, throw money at her while keeping her at arm's length.

It was easier to accept Spartan training lessons from a stranger who seemed glad to punch her lights out then act like a friend after. It was easier to train until she passed out, rather than lie awake in the dark hearing their voices in the shadows.

It was easier to kill monsters than to think about her dead family.

Did they live full lives? Until they were old and gray, always wondering what happened to her?

Or did they fall beneath waves of monsters as the world changed around them?

Kira clenched her fists, smashing in the skull of yet another nameless goblin.

Thinking about her family only brought more pain. Pain of the heart was more insidious and unforgiving than pain of the flesh. And pain of the heart was something she absolutely hated.

More than she hated her own garbage past, more than she hated thinking of the time before the Hawthornes.

She didn't want to hate her family. But the more she thought about them, the more painful it felt, and the more she hated it.

The more she hated herself.

So she kept punching.

"That's enough, I said!"

Kira snapped to attention at the sound of Ailsa's angry voice, just as the woman smacked a heavy hand against her back. "OW!"

"Did ye not hear me tellin' ye to call it quits? Good Goddess, Kiddo, yer a wreck!"

Baffled, Kira looked up at Ailsa, then down at herself.

She knelt on the corpse of what used to be a Cave Goblin, before she pummeled its head into a pulpy red mush. Her hands were layered with gore, her entire body drenched red with blood from head to foot, the smell of raw meat and coppery blood thick in the air.

Kira's stomach churned, bile rising in her throat. Her hands shook, her vision blurring, but the color of that red remained bright and clear. "What... I..."

Ailsa grabbed the back of the girl's shirt, torn and tattered by many a goblin's valiant struggles, and dragged Kira through several long tunnels back to the Sanctuary. "I was gonna leave it be, I really was. Just gonna let ye work yer pain out and sort out yer thoughts first before gettin' involved, but then ye had to go and do somethin' like that!

"I told ye I was watchin', did ye even remember? Did ye hear me shoutin' fer ye over yer damn music? Just gettin' lost in some berserker rage, not stoppin' ta rest or breathe. How long do ye think ye been at it? Hours! Hours without stoppin'! Ye cleared half the floor in just a few hours ye absolute loon! And ye still ain't leveled up from it, what the hell is yer level rate?! Yer EXP bar is a black hole!"

Without waiting for Kira's response, Ailsa set about using magic to change the shape of the Sanctuary. As a Shaman, she specialized in magic relating the four primal elements - earth, wind, fire, water. It wasn't a difficult task to create a deep rocky pool of heated water, then throw the thin Human girl in head-first.

Kira coughed and spluttered as she righted herself, her skin already flushed pink from the water's temperature. She stood in the middle of the pool, in water up to her collarbone, and stared at Ailsa with a baffled expression on her face. "What... What did I do?"

"Oh yer awake again, are ye? Know enough ta know ye did somethin', do ye?" Ailsa sneered, slamming her foot against the ground to bring a rock wall up around the heated pool to give the kid some privacy, then leaned against its rough surface to exhale a slow breath. "Clean yerself up. Throw yer clothes out here, underthin's and all, I'll burn 'em and get ye some new ones. Handwraps too. And turn yer damn music off, I got words fer ye."

Kira hesitated before doing as she was told. Turning her music off was a simple request, but peeling off her clothing turned out to be more of a challenge than anticipated. Blood had started to clot in many of her wounds, fusing the torn and jagged edges of her ripped clothes to the injured flesh. The hot water helped loosen up the cloth, and washed away the gore, but it left chunks floating in the water that Kira tried very hard not to acknowledge.

She tossed out the ragged lump of clothes and handwraps, lobbing it over the makeshift rock fence. Ailsa made the filthy water leap out of the pool and splash against the walls, taking all the blood and bits along for the ride. Then clean water, cool and fresh, bubbled up from the stone beneath Kira's feet. Before long, she was once again standing in a deep pool of water, one rapidly rising in temperature to something just below scalding.

The heat sank through her torn flesh and aching muscles, settling into her bones with a feeling of relaxation and relief. Kira stared blankly at the surface of the water, steam rising in twirling vapors through the air, like the mana from the goblin's bodies returning to the Dungeon.

Ailsa tossed soap, shampoo, a bucket and a washcloth over the wall. Kira scrubbed herself down, removing every last bit of vile gore from her body until only scoured pink skin remained.

"Are ye cleaned up?" Ailsa asked after she no longer heard the sound of splashing water.

"Yeah."

The water changed out again, dirty soapy bath splashing itself against the walls while clean water bubbled up from the rocks. As she watched the liquid rise, a fluffy white towel wafted over the rock wall and smacked her in the face. "Wrap it 'round, cover yerself. Ye got ten seconds, then I'm comin' in."

Kira hurriedly tucked the white towel around her naked body. The rock wall crumbled, and the side of the pool shifted to create a sunken ledge for Ailsa to sit. A bit of rock forcefully nudged the back of Kira's legs then lifted up so the girl would sit as well.

"Do ye know what 'repression' means?"

Kira looked up at the sound of Ailsa's voice, a soft whisper uncharacteristic of the loud Dwarf woman. "Yeah. Restraint, or subduing something."

"Aye. But it's also a psychological defense mechanism. Ye see, repression keeps painful, disturbin' or threatenin' thoughts out of yer mind. Brains are weird, they make us think random thoughts that sometimes don't even represent anythin' we wanna be thinkin'. But when ye experience a trauma that repression mechanism goes into overdrive, it detects ye reactin' ta certain kinds of thoughts or feelin's the way ye'd react to those random unwanted thoughts and does what it does best - represses 'em.

"Karl told me about ye, kiddo. He only told me what he knew about ye, but judgin' by how ye were fightin' in there, he doesn't even know the half of it. I been puttin' ye through Hell on purpose to see yer breakin' point, but ye just kept stompin' yer anger down until I couldn't even see it in yer eyes. That's not somethin' ye learn ta do very easy. Even grown ass men woulda broke in my trainin' regimen, ye know!"

Kira sank into the water, until it was in danger of flowing into her nose, and squinted her bright blue fox eyes into narrow slits. Ailsa waved her hand, bringing up a bunch of System screens with pictures of Kira's rampage in stark clarity. "Ye ain't ever been a talkative type in the past week, but now ain't the time for ye to clamp yer trap. I need ye ta tell me what ye didn't tell Karl. We need to know what ye been through so we can help ye."

"Why?"

Ailsa paused. The thin girl was giving her a look with cold, sharp eyes that didn't seem to belong on a teenager, but her voice was a hoarse, sad whisper. "Why what?"

"Why help me? Is it an obligation as an adult, or self-satisfaction? Or... Pity?" Her words were like venom, burning her tongue and bringing tears unbidden to her eyes. Kira sank back down in the water, exhaling bubbles to hide her face with steam and churning water.

"Hmm, I wonder." Ailsa chuckled. She leaned back on the rocky edge of the pool, draping her arms on the sides to mask the tight clenching of her fists. "I ain't askin' about yer past just ta hurt ye. It ain't pure curiosity, neither. I wanna help cuz I like ye, and it sucks ta see ye in pain. Same with scaley ol' Karl, and probably same with that Drakke girlie he told me yer friends with. When ye like someone ye don't want 'em ta suffer, and ye don't have ta know someone long ta like 'em neither.

"It might be self-satisfaction, I ain't sayin' it's not. But I don't see how that's a bad thing, people do good stuff fer selfish reasons all the time. Doesn't negate the fact they did good, just cuz the motivation's a bit off. It sure ain't pity though, none. I don't pity ye. Yer too tough fer me ta pity with a clear conscience. If anythin', I'm angry that whoever hurt ye is too long dead fer me ta punch in the mouth!"

Kira was quiet for a long time before finally, slowly, hesitantly nodding. "Okay... But... Can we eat first?"