Chapter 29

[Snake Report]

"Put it out! Put the flames out! Eveth, what in all the gods did you just do?"

"I don't know! I panicked! It was just there! You know what Basilisks can do to a person-"

"Dren! HEAL IT!"

"I don't know how! It's not a human! It might be different!"

"Do it anyways! Go!"

"Oh lord of blessed sunlight, please grant me your favor so that we-"

"Eveth! Do something!"

"I don't know-"

Wow, what a morning.

It was off to such a promising start, and yet here I am.

On the floor.

Voice of Gaia, give me a good ol' Status!

"..."

Sure, sure: I expected you would pull that. Forced my lack of hands- fine then! Impersonation voice of Gaia! Status!

"Fireeeeeee, smoke on the horizon!"

Surprisingly, this isn't so bad.

Really, getting hit by a fireball is like... no big deal. I'd sorta figured getting set on fire would be a heck of a lot worse, but it's just not as bad as I'd expected- or didn't expect, really.

I didn't even have time to consider the possibility before I took a glowing orb of fire to the face.

Beyond passing daydreams gone wrong though, I'll stand by my previous assessment: the whole situation could be a lot worse. Besides, I've already learned something here. Something really important.

I am 100% sure I still have my skills.

Well, my passive ones, at the very least.

Even if voice of Gaia won't tell me about them, I'm obviously not dead right now- and I feel [Passive-healing] as it chugs along.

Keeping up, too. Whatever burning is occurring is being outdone, so it's probably stronger than I remember, but for all I know that's resistances or something.

Still, that's all good. All good news.

Whatever it was that got thrown at me has the mana-consistency of blueberry jam, so I'm all sorts of wrapped up in it, yet the flames are barely scorching me.

Creative sort of fire spell. Never seen this before.

Light roast... I don't think my scales are singed yet.

Hmm… It's actually kinda nice.

Like, I'm bathed in one of those icy-hot packs. Tingles a bit, but not unbearable or anything.

The omelet, on the other hand, is absolutely ruined.

Managed to swallow some of it, but the rest is charcoal. Nothing left there: from ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.

I mean, the egg was a little too well-done to begin with if I'm going to be a critic, but beggars can't be choosers. Just because I prefer them runny over singed, I'm not going to complain, although I've got no idea why she was so against me taking it.

Mage-lady decided to just leave the sorry thing out there, pretty much untouched. Clearly, I could see it was getting cold. Who wants to eat a cold omelet?

That's downright barbaric.

Hiss...

My first real human breakfast in ages, such a promising start. Go figure, someone would try to torch me.

"Oh, Light above, it's still alive! It's still alive! Keep healing it Dren!"

"I'm trying! I don't know if it's working! I've never healed a monster before!"

"Eveth! Put out the bloody flames! For gods and mercy, what are you doing?"

"I can't! It's not that type of spell-"

"Get me that towel then!"

Well…

I guess we've also learned that crazy mage-women probably won't be the end of me. Anyone attempting murder is going to have to try harder than a measly little fireball.

Seriously.

Who smells what the rock is cooking?

It’s me.

If you walked in on this situation and saw the grizzled looking warrior man hitting the snake on a floor with what might be an empty bag of flour- I think you'd say it's me.

"Stomp out the flames Alem!"

"I don't want to kill it Eveth! Get some water! A bucket, a cup! Anything!"

Again, it's surprisingly, not so bad. The omelet might as well be dust in the wind, and the heavy flour-sack beat down isn't great, but he's withholding the boots.

[Das Boot]

Could be a skill, maybe?

He's sparing me, that's what I'm getting at here. Mercy is being given in this extinguishing. I respect that.

If I remember correctly, my affinity is with fire and not heavy adventurer steel-toed cleats, so I'm pretty sure this is for the best.

"It's working! Get some water!"

"Gods damn you Eveth. We finally get a new member to join, and you've murdered their partner!"

"On the first morning, no less!"

Ah... Flames are out. Finally. I was getting just a little too warm at the end there, but all in all I'd rate it a 7/10. Worth the experience, but might not repeat.

"Hisss!"

Woah! Don't just dump a pitcher on me! That's cold!

"Look! It's moving!"

"It's not dead?"

"It's alive!"

Well of course I'm not dead. I've survived a lot crazier stuff than this.

What would you even call that, a little bit of fire? Get real. Once I figure out where my [Spirit Attendants] wandered off to, I'm going to have some stories to tell.

Giant skeletons, cannibal eels, a hoard of giant spiders, dinosaurs: I mean, there was even a tribe of blood thirsty Elves-

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYIYIYIYIYI-"

Ah.

Speak of the devil.