《The Snake Report》Chapter 62
Advertisement
Chapter 62
Snake Report:
Daaaaa daaa daa daaaaaaa dududuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
Hear that?
That's the sound of me being a gosh-darn hero.
No devil-snake on my non-existent shoulders. No abandoning comrades in their time of need, no using up almost all my magic on a very dramatic but very necessary fire-storm because I couldn't figure out how to get down here quickly without dying!
Well, actually. About that last part.
We're in a bit of a pickle. I tell you what.
"HISSSsSsSsS!" (That means "Climb faster human." In Snake Language)
"_____ ___ ____!" (That means "Shut the hell up! Make more hand-holds! I'm going!" In whatever language Miss Paladin happens to speak)
"HISSSSSSSSssssSSSsssSSS" (That means "I'm too young and beautiful to die yet." Again, in Snake Language)
"___ ___ ___ __ ____ @!& _____________!" (That means... Honestly, I don't have a single clue. The shift-symbols indicate it might have been emphasized more than usual.)
Maybe it's about the cannibalistic ritual sacrifice to the Tiny-Snake-God taking place below us. Things are getting pretty gruesome down there.
Classic Blood for the blood go... No, stop that.
None of that.
Hissss... It's bad though.
Here's hoping I have enough magic, and Miss Paladin has enough upper body-strength, to get us to the top of this tower. Only sixty more slithers to go, one earth-shaped hand-hold at a time.
"GRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOO"
Ah... huh.
Rest in pieces Camp Alcatraz. Megalodon just made landfall.
"___ ___ ___ __ ____ @!& _____________!"
"HISSSsSsSsS! HISSSsSsSsS! HISSSsSsSsS!"
Advertisement
- In Serial9 Chapters
A Titan's Crusade
Erik Thayne spent most of his life being brutally ridiculed and tormented for his weight and physical appearance, among other things. A social pariah and diagnosed with an eating disorder no one has an explanation or treatment for, Erik spent years trying to overcome his issues with his personal image and escape the ridicule and vicious torment of his peers. After years of dedicated effort, and a fresh start in a town away from his childhood and adolescent tormentors, he had finally begun to truly realize what he'd been striving for all along. Only, fate apparently has other plans because in the blink of an eye, Erik found himself snatched from Earth and taken to another universe, another world, where he is offered the chance to be more than he'd ever imagined. Now, he has to fight to restore the Balance between Chaos and Order on a world of swords and magic, in a universe governed by the System's laws, which resemble those of RPGs from Earth. Erik learned to embrace the things about himself that others taught him to hate, using them to reforge his physical identity into something more removed from his old self-loathing. But can he learn to embrace the darkest parts of his mind just as he did the reviled aspects of his body and become who he needs to be to succeed in the task set before him? It might just prove easier to stalk in the dark as a monster than to walk in the light as a man... *This is my first time publishing anything I've written to a public audience. Due to formatting issues, I forwent traditional stat-screens for something a little less problematic, delineating stat screens by separating them from regular text with horizontal lines in a lighter-grey coloration. Let me know if you like them or not. Criticism is entirely welcome, but please don't hate on my work after only reading 1 chapter. This is a writing project I intend to complete but I have committment problems so we'll see how long this goes on. Also, fair warning, as the description implies, the main protagonist is intended to be someone who has been treated cruelly, developed antisocial tendencies, and ultimately has to question his own humanity--or lack thereof. This story is not intended to be brutally dark but I will definitely be trying to follow a darker theme. It is intended to be violent and some scenes later in the story might be...alarming. There will likely also be some light, non-graphic (think more implied with crude jokes and conversation than actual details, there will be no full-blown sex scenes)relationship scenes planned later and if you're opposed to either a bisexual or gay main character, stay away. I haven't yet decided which way he's going to swing but the odds on him being straight are relatively miniscule, and I've always wanted to write a story about a gay man who basically looks like a lumberjack because who doesn't like giving conventional stereo-types the middle finger? This will NOT be a harem story, and I have no intention to focus on romance over action--it's a consequence of character development where I'm concerned, not the be-all-end-all of the story. The cover-art does not, in any way, belong to me. It was an image titled the Druid King (by duskanmarkovic according to the file name) which I found on Google Images. Until I can get something commissioned, this is the best stand-in image I could find.
8 111 - In Serial31 Chapters
A Scientific ReQuest
Isekai’d into a game. It’s the dream of many, but definitely not what Jessica Harper, a regular high school teacher, envisaged happening in her mid-thirties. Without access to the system, and with no real gaming knowledge at her disposal she is thrust into a strange and fantastical new world of power and magic that is always just out of reach. Armed with only common sense and a background in ecology, with the help of a friendly minotaur and a naïve apprentice alchemist, she must unlock the mysteries of these strange lands. It’s survival of the fittest out here. Agents of Darkness had better stay out of her way or they’re going to receive a thorough education. This Fiction will update every Tuesday and Saturday.
8 149 - In Serial67 Chapters
I Win to be Heard (litRPG)
Born mute, Saya is sheltered and trained to become a [mage], but she doesn't want to follow that path and chooses to forge her own, certain she will achieve what she wants. "No matter what blocks my path, I will win." In her ambitions, she is caught in matters far beyond the scope of her life, slowly learning more about the grim imbalance that threatens the world's order, and the government of gods' true motives. Is Saya really trailblazing, or is she being manipulated by the shackles of fate?
8 191 - In Serial18 Chapters
Photoshop Tutorial
photoshop tutorial and more. c:
8 94 - In Serial11 Chapters
Unwanted
Al is well known delinquent but before he became a well-known street brawler he was known as a genius. It was a hot and scorching summer day when he decided to go to a convenient store to purchase refreshments after defeating some students that were bullying his old friend. Little did he know that inside the store were a group of armed men. After Al's unfortunate death he was reincarnated as an unwanted baby who retained all of his memories and knowledge from his past. Now Al must survive in the unforgiving world he has been reborn in. Will Al survive or will he windup inside someone's belly?
8 210 - In Serial17 Chapters
Absorbed
Just a story of a normal guy waking up in a forest or maybe just dreaming?
8 203

