《Thieves' Dungeon》2.13 Soldier of Fortune

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Izzis knew, just knew, his luck was too good to continue.

The Marquis had captured two giants. Well, not literal giants. Humans. Four feet fall humans. Nonetheless, they were giants to Izzis, and he was supposed to fight them.

His faerie fans had already turned against him. ‘The Fall of Goliath, Long Live the Titans’ adorned walls in tiny print on miniscule posters all around the fighting pits. It wasn’t enough they were huge, but he had to fight both, and they were magical adventurers, to boot!

Izzis couldn’t forget the absolute look of sadistic joy the Marquis held when he announced the fight.

He had three choices. First, risk trying to run away. That would probably end with his death. Second, try to win the fight. That would probably end with his death. Third, convince the humans to escape with him. That would probably end with his death, but less probably than the other two.

After weighing his options, his choice was obvious. He began sobbing.

“Izzis not fair!” he wiped the snot from the holes somebody being polite would refer to as a nose. “Why does Izzis always get the short stick? Izzis is kind. Izzis is useful. So why is Izzis being treated so unfairly? Do the gods hate Izzis? Or maybe they find Izzis’s suffering funny. Izzis’s life and death is just a joke to them.”

“Keep it down!” shouted his cage keeper.

“I’m allowed to be upset,” he mumbled, scratching his leathery skin.

Izzis sat upon the dirty cage floor and crossed his arms in thought. If he couldn’t rely on any of the obvious plans to survive, then he would need to rely on the only other thing he could. Random chance. After all, that was what got him into this mess in the first place, and definitely nothing to do with his personality or decision making or continually taunting the Marquis every time he won a fight, going so far as to moon him at one point. Just bad luck.

Somewhere in the middle of dreaming up good happenstance, Izzis fell asleep, but continued his dreams. He was jostled awake by being dumped uncerimonisly into the dirt of the fighting pit. His mace was tossed beside him, missing his head by inches. “Think lucky thoughts, think lucky thoughts,” he reminded himself.

The Titans descended into the arena, manifestations of death and destruction.

“Nathan, it’s a bit small, isn’t it?” asked the female titan.

“We shouldn’t underestimate it, Annabelle. Who knows what’s capable of,” remarked Nathan.

“It is pretty ugly,” Anabelle agreed.

The spark of micro drums and minute trumpets signaled the arrival of the Marquis. He was accompanied by his daughter, adorned in too much jewelry and appearing nervous. She stood beside him as he sat upon his delicate throne, smug satisfaction radiating from him. He pointed at Izzis and said, “Kill it.”

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“Titans, Titans, Titans!” chanted the crowd.

“You can do it, Goliath!” the Marquis’s daughter shouted, to the glare of her father.

Izzis’s chest swelled with pride. He hadn’t known he had a fan left. He picked up his mace, and screaming, charged towards the Titans.

Mana, in that moment, flowed through him, every ounce he had collected through his service to the dungeon. His speed, strength, and hopes surged. He dashed between the Nathan’s legs, and planted the weapon into his heel.

“Fuck!” Nathan fell.

Dodging the falling titan, Izzis then leapt high, beating his wings with furious force. Annabelle was already spinning around, swinging her sword. Izzis flew higher still, having avoided her blade by a flake of skin. He swung into her face, and in that moment, witnessed a stray tooth flung from her jaw.

She stumbled, but rushed back towards him, less using her sword and more her entire body in blind anger. Nathan began to rise. It was the best opportunity Izzis would get.

He turned and ran - well, flew - away.

Directly towards the Marquis. “Die!” Izzis screamed, raising his weapon, surprise flashing in the Marquis’s eyes.

ZZAP.

Izzis spasmed in the dirt. His world had gone blank for a moment, a white void full of the smell of frying pork. The Marquis sighed as he adjusted the ring on his finger. “Did you really think that would work, you pathetic creature?”

Izzis gurgled.

The Marquis then glared towards the Titans. “I look forward to breaking you two useless tools.” Then raised his ringed finger towards Izzis.

“Daddy,” his daughter said, “please don’t kill Goliath.” She grabbed his arm.

He turned his glare towards her. “You expect me to spare someone who threatened my life? No. This is what rulers must do, Telurum. You must learn.”

Telurum bit her lip, eyes shaking. The Marquis responded with no emotion. Then she nodded and said, “I understand,” and let go his arm.

“Excellent, I-”

“Can I kill him?” she asked.

Her words sent a second shock through Izzis, and his condition worsened.

The Marquis gave a genuine smile. “Of course, sweetie,” and plucked the ring from his finger, handing it to her. “Make sure to aim it at his head. Anywhere else and it might make a mess. Oh, I remember my first kill.”

Telurum slipped it on and aimed towards Izzis. She said, “I’m sorry,” and let loose the lightning at her father’s throne, blowing it to bits. “Nobody move or you get fried!”

The Marquis coughed and began pulling himself from the rubble, the shimmering of a magic shield around him as his necklace glowed.

Telurum flew down to Izzis, and with her tiny hand, slapped him. “Get up Goliath! We’re leaving!”

He didn’t feel it. At the moment, he didn’t feel much of anything, except the desire to comply and frustration at his inability to do so.

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She pointed at the Titans. “You two! You want to leave, too, right? I know a way out. Grab Goliath and come with me.”

Nathan was limping and Annabelle was rubbing her jaw, but they didn’t argue. Annabelle grabbed Izzis and flung him over her shoulder with enough force that Izzis could feel again, though mostly it was just pain.

The Marquis had dug himself out. “Telurum, you-”

He slammed into a tree when she launched another blast of lightning at him. “I hate you, dad! You never let me do anything. It’s all ‘rule this’ and ‘kill that’ and ‘you’ll die outside’! Well guess what, I can do whatever I want. I’m going to go on a grand and noble adventure with my new friends and you can’t stop me!”

An earring of the Marquis flashed, and he was covered in a green light, recovering him entirely. He hovered in front of the tree and, pointing to his guards, commanded, “Stop her.”

Telurum looked up to Annabelle and said, “Let’s go, now!”

They ran as dragonflies began to buzz.

“Why don’t you shoot lightning at them?” Nathan asked, wincing each time his right foot touched the ground.

She crossed her arms. “I’m not going to kill anybody! That’s not what noble adventurers do.”

Annabelle and Nathan exchanged a glance. Annabelle asked, “Can you at least shoot lightning at some trees? Try to slow them down?”

“Okay!”

Then the forest was on fire.

“Oh no, what if somebody burns up?” Telurum asked, worried.

“You did perfect, like a real noble adventurer,” Annabelle said.

“Really?” Telurum asked, grasping her hands together, eyes sparkling.

“Oh yes,” agreed Nathan. “After all, we’re noble adventurers too.”

“I knew it!” She laughed as the tiny sounds of screaming fae echoed through the burning woods. “Erm, are you sure-”

“Yes,” Annabelle and Nathan said in unison.

They ran, and ran, and ran till nightfall, when even the light of the far-off fire had extinguished.

By that point, Izzis had long recovered his movement and feeling, though still injured. Though still on Annabelle’s shoulder, he guided the group with his ability with his ability to see in the dark. “Here looks safe,” he said.

“Finally,” said Nathan, plopping to the ground and gently touching his blood-caked foot. “We should gather some herbs if we can. Then I can make a poultice to help our wounds.”

“I can do that!” shouted Telurum.

“Shh, stay quiet if you can,” Annabelle said.

Telurum whispered something they couldn’t hear.

Annabelle said, “Not that quiet.” Then she looked around. “I want you to stay here with Nathan, just in case. I’ll have Goliath guide me to gather the plants.”

“I can do that,” she said.

“Nathan, what do you need?”

“Brokenfoot Leaf - it’s a greenish blue color and should grow near water, but be careful, it’s covered with thorns - and any sort of root of a magical flower, which will be harder to find. Oh, and anything fibrous or flexible, so I can weave a bowl.”

“Alright. Make a small fire if you can, while we’re gone,” Annabelle said.

She and Izzis marched further through the woods, Izzis careful to remember the path they were taking. He took the opportunity to say, “My name’s not Goliath.”

“What is it?”

“No, Izzis.”

“So it is Goliath?”

“No, my name is Izzis.”

“That’s a strange name. Then again, you’re a strange creature. A strange, ugly, smelly creature.”

“Izzis true.”

Annabelle laughed. “I haven’t forgiven you for my tooth, though. When we make it back to a city, I’m selling you to buy a replacement.”

“I think that would be a lucky outcome for me,” Izzis said. He didn’t have much energy to argue his eventual fate. He was alive for the moment, and for that, he was grateful. He then heard the running of water. “Go left,” he told her.

The Brokenfoot Leaf was easy to find and harvest, though Annabelle did prick herself a few times in the dark. It was another hour of wandering before they came across a magical plant, though they gathered plenty of fibrous stalks along the way.

When they returned to their camping spot, Telurum was crying, and exhaustion covered Nathan’s face.

“It’s not fair,” Telurum sobbed.

“Nathan, what’s going on?” Annabelle asked as she handed him the plants.

“She’s upset that we don’t have lavish meals prepared for her, or a comfortable bed,” he said without emotion. “And that’s she’s dirty. And that she’s tired. And that her wings hurt.” He rubbed his foot.

“I understand your pain,” Izzis said to Telurum.

She sniffed. “Really?”

“I’ve experienced the extremes of discomfort many times. It’s temporary. Somehow, you always find your way back to something comfortable in the end,” he said, not mentioning you then find your way back to discomfort just as often, if not more.

“Okay,” she said. “If Goliath can handle it, then so can I.”

Annabelle plucked Izzis from her shoulder and dropped him on the ground.

“Ow, ow, why?” he asked.

She said, “I already told you, you stink.”

He did not respond. He lay there, painfully wheezing, but alive.

That was pretty lucky.

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