The System, who was not the devil, sat in front of a roaring fireplace. He was seated on a plush, grandfatherly chair and dressed in casual, comfortable clothes. His hooves somehow had slippers attached to them, his gigantic demonic horns were clad in cozy, crochet horn warmers, he was in a robe and had a long pipe in his mouth.

"None of that was Canon," were the first words out of his mouth, along with a long stream of smoke. "Just forget about all that Prince of Wonders stuff like you forget your dreams every night." He took another puff off of his pipe. "Ah, but it is amusing to dredge through dead universes and destroyed timelines every once and a while. None of this is Canon either," he said abruptly, then gestured to himself, "this is just a recap. From my perspective."

"Once upon a time, there were two forces. One which wanted to sleep forever, and one which wanted infinite, endless experience. They had a little disagreement, fondly remembered as the Primordial War, and eventually came to the compromise known as 'Reality', a fun amalgamation of infinite void and infinite infinity. During that war, somebody decided to cheat and create humans."

"A bunch of things happened after that, and then there was Ben." The System smiled, pointing to a family portrait style picture near the fire place, showing Ben sobbing as he watched his parents fade away into motes of light, and The System watched from behind his desk. "Now, Ben was one of those rare, edge case inductees to The System who attempted to use the Ring of Sacrifice, but was stopped by an outside force. Me, after his parents compelled me to act on their behalf after they sacrificed themselves for the greater good of their people."

"We struck up a little rapport with one another, he got a Utility Pocket, my personal favorite Plus Perk, not like that awful whip or pyramid, made best friends with a shark and got transformed into a fairy. It was the only way to balance Humans without giving them a random chance at self destructing every time they leveled."

"Then he destroyed a town, created Frankie, cried for a while, made best friends with a giant slug, made best friends with another fairy, got lost in the woods, unintentionally caused a monster surge, made awkward naked friends with a chaos warden, fought a small army of low leveled monsters with access to reality threatening magic-" The System coughed, "which is in the process of being patched out, they aren't supposed to be able to summon. Let's see, then he met a group of plucky teenage bounty hunters, got captured by a giant fly man, died, was reborn as a magic ghost, killed the giant fly man, illegally burned down his house, got three wishes and wasted one of them sending some guy into The Gloom."

"He is now currently wandering through the Overcavern Forest, wondering what a Lord of The Beyond is, and why that activated the Easy Mode feature, unaware that he and his party have multiple warrants out for their arrest and are blindly tromping towards the very city that wants him imprisoned."

The System chuckled.

"Fun stuff! And now, our feature presentation:"

Ben's Damn Adventure 3: The Prince Goes Nuclear