In the heart of the Parade of Wonders with the eyes of The World upon them, nine children of the dreaded Dark Cities came forward, seeking refuge. They were announced by Ghost Ears, who [Proclaimed], “You now approach his Holy Majesty, Prince Ben of the Kingdom of Wonders. Why have you come before him?” One of them, clearly female, stepped forward and stared at Ben. She didn’t say anything, and that made the entire situation suddenly a bit awkward. Ben looked over at Red and started making covert gestures at her to do something.

“Speak now, and stop oogling His Holy Majesty,” Red commanded, then leveled her AK-47 at them for good measure.

“Oogling?” Ben asked, now confused and feeling a little self conscious, “are you sure you’re using that word correctly?”

“After Charles I’m quite certain I know exactly what oogling means,” Red said with total shameless confidence, and Ben decided to take her word for it. The Dark City Refugees all. . . chittered. It was a deeply unsettling, creepy, skin-crawly equivalent of laughter. It was the sort of thing you’d expect to hear from a gray skinned ghost with bright red eyes in the shape of a six year old at one in the morning in a spooky house. Ben shuddered, and ignored them.

“Is Anna going to be here?” the girl from the Dark Cities, who hadn’t given a name yet, asked. She sounded young to Ben, which surprised him.

“Anna?” Ben asked, still sitting in his throne of absolute power and radiating holy authority on everything around him, yet somehow still not in control of this situation.

“Yeah,” one of the other girls said, looking around, “she’s a badass.”

‘Yeahs’ all around from the group of teenage girls.

“Why are so many teenagers congregating around my life?” Ben asked nobody in particular, “I’m like, thirty fucking years old.”

“That makes you the youngest person here, and still well within the early childhood of most races,” Ghost Ears said quietly, just loud enough for Ben to hear.

“How early?” Ben asked, because the Dark Cities girls were all sort of ignoring him and looking around his mobile Palace of Wonders, not the official name, just what Ben was calling it.

“Somewhere between a toddler and a regular child,” Ghost Ears said.

“Oh,” Ben said with his eyebrows raised, the corners of his lips downturned, “ok, I’ll stop bragging about being thirty then.”

“That would be the wisest thing you’ve done since I’ve met you,” Ghost Ears said.

“Always the fucking sass from you, no respect,” Ben said, “No respect at all.”

“Hey, are you going to kill him?” the lead Dark City girl asked, surprising both Ben and Ghost Ears.

“Kill?” Ben asked, “Jeeze, I’m not killing anybody!”

“Wow,” the lead Dark City girl said, awe in her voice. She didn’t elaborate on why that was impressive. Ben looked at Ghost Ears, who shrugged. For once, the two of them were equally confused.

“Should I get Lord Vivi?” Ghost Ears asked.

“Go get the damn slug,” Ben said, upset that he already needed that smug goddamn know-it-all. Ghost Ears flew off, and then there was silence. Just Ben, Red and nine girls from the Dark Cities. Red decided to break the silence.

“It’s going to be a boy,” she said, pointing at one of the girls in the back. There was no response, so Red kept talking, “I can see the child growing inside of you. It’s going to be a boy.”

“It doesn’t matter,” the girl said without much emotion one way or the other. She said it like it really didn’t matter. Ben tried to resist, he really did, but in the end, he took the bait.

“Why not?” he asked, “I mean, why doesn’t it matter?”

“It’s a sacrifice baby,” she said.

You could have heard a fucking pin hit carpet it was so quiet.

“Oh, I see,” Ben said, nodding his head. The oddest thing was happening inside of him, however, and more specifically, happening inside of the holy energy that now suffused every aspect of his being. Like a very, very distant rumble, from thunder on the other side of the planet. Ben didn’t know it, but Anna was actually present, and she was frantically, breathlessly reporting on the event.

“This is Anna, behind the scenes with history in the making. . .”

“Tell me,” Ben said, laughing and feeling really really calm, too calm really, “what’s a sacrifice baby?”

“Ugh,” the lead girl said, “could we not? I’m trying to get away from all the religious bullshit. Hey, do you think you could imbue us with holy energy,” she asked, suddenly excited. All the girls really seemed to like that idea, nodding their heads and murmuring among themselves. Ghost Ears returned with Vivi, who took one look at the situation, squeaked, and then slugged at top speed towards Ben.

“Call this off, right now,” Vivi said, in a panic.

“No,” Ben said, ignoring Vivi, “I think I’d like to know what a sacrifice baby is.”

“Ben!” Vivi snapped, “send them away, send then back to the Dark Caravan. You do not mess with the Dark Cities!”

“Be quiet,” Ben said to Vivi, then to the girls, “Tell me right now, or I send you away. What. Is. A. Sacrifice. Baby.” The rumbling was growing louder, like a storm rolling in.

“You tell him,” the lead girl said with a groan, like this was a waste of time. She walked back, and the visibly pregnant girl walked forward.

“What is your name?” Ben did not ask, he commanded an answer.

“Lariah,” she said, her voice. . . almost meek. Ben modulated his attitude to be a bit more friendly.

“Lariah,” he said, “tell me what’s going on. Please.”

“Well,” she said, “I’m old enough to endure The Hardening, so they made me pregnant,” she explained.

“Made you pregnant?” Ben asked, “How, with magic?” Lariah shook her head very fast, and that was all the answer Ben needed.

“I see. What is The Hardening, and what does it have to do with your baby?”

“When my baby- when the baby is born, I’m supposed to kill it, to sacrifice it to the Dark City Abomination.”

The rumbling got louder, but Ben was silent, and allowed Lariah to continue.

“The Hardening. . . well, we have to keep doing that.”

“Getting- you have to keep killing your babies as soon as they’re born?” Ben asked.

“Yes, until The Hardening is complete.”

“When is it complete,” Ben asked, quickly.

“When,” she hesitated, that was the worst part, she actually hesitated, “It’s done when we hate them completely and want them to die. When we want to do it again. Only then are we allowed to give birth and allow the child to live.”

“Ben!” Vivi yelled, but it was too late. The Aeon Slug hadn’t known Ben for very long, but he could already reconize when Ben didn’t give a fuck and was about to start doing some ignorant, pig-headed, stubborn ass shit.

“That’s just about the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” Ben said live on camera in front of the entire world, including a good portion of the Dark Cities populations. “Do you want to do that? Lariah, look at me, do you want to do this?”

“Don’t be weak Lariah!” the lead girl called out, and Ben silenced her with a hand.

“No,” Lariah said, like it was the first time she’d ever said it out loud.

“Good. Don’t do it then. Love your baby and let it be born, and let what might come, come!” Ben yelled, then turned his terrible expression on the ‘lead girl from the Dark Cities.’ “You, child, give me your name, now.”

“Names are for children,” she said haughtily, and then Ben cut her off.

“Your name is Lead Girl from now on,” Ben said, and a blast of both Holy Energy and Royal Authority made it so, “and I’m accepting your plea for refuge.”

“Ben!” Vivi breathed out in sheer horror, his spherical eyes rotating around atop his stalks like he was about to faint.

“Lead Girl, you’re in charge of this group-”

“We are sovereign individualities-” she began, and it had the sound of religious horseshit.

“You are a group now!” Ben yelled, practically jumping up from his throne and rushing forward, the power he exuded far in excess to what a theoretical Level One existence should be able to bring to bear. “You will look out for one another! You will put the interest of your group above your own! You will love one another! And most importantly, you will PROTECT THAT BABY WITH YOUR LIVES, AND LOVE IT! FUCK THE DARK CITIES, FUCK ABOMINATION, AND FUCK YOUR BACKWARDS, IGNORANT RELIGION!”

Holy Energy and Royal Power comingled in a friendly, complementary way and washed over the refugees, now citizens of the Kingdom of Wonders, as Ghost Ears had named it. It seeped into them and washed away the ‘Kingdom Buffs’ of the Dark City Abomination, which were dubious at best, and replaced them with the few, but powerful, benefits that came from being under Ben’s protection.

It was only then that Ben realized the music had stopped, the noise of the crowd had stopped and everything was dead silent. Some jackass, speaking at a normal volume, commented to his friend that this was ‘the best parade ever’.

“I-” Lead Girl said, gulping and looking at her hands, really just looking at herself, “I didn’t expect you to actually take us in. Nobody has ever taken in runaways from the Dark Cities.”

“Ever?” Ben asked, “even knowing what you’ve just told me?”

“Even knowing all that and much, much more,” she said. “They’re too afraid of what will be done to them in retribution.”

“What a bunch of pussies they are,” Ben said, dismissing literally every other monarch and ruler in The World with a single, completely accurate sentence. “If you know anyone else who’s looking for safe harbor, they’re welcome too.”

“Nnnoooooooooooo!” Vivi moaned, “you’ve doomed us all! Again! Nooooooo I don’t want to dieeeeeeee!” For some reason Vivi’s moaning only pissed Ben off even further, and he took his anger out on the weird, uncomfortable looking clothing his new citizens were wearing.

“[Change],” he said, expending a Trivial Wish in the process. It was. . . not a skill, or a wish. The System, always watching and taking notes, was delighted to see Ben directly utilize the power of a wish and not disintegrate. As for Ben’s part, he used the wish like a wordless prayer, pure directed intent without the distortion of meaning.

The nine former refugees, now citizens of the Kingdom of Wonders, gasped as the black, skintight fabric they’d been literally born into and worn every moment since then, began to burn. The relief was so intense it felt like burning, and they screamed. Oh did they scream! Ben watched without pity as white fire burned their clothes away, fire that caused no pain, but was felt just as intensely all the same.

They writhed on the ground as the fire transformed into skintight white silk that covered most of their bodies, exposing their hands, their feet, and their heads, but not necks. Ben was startled to find that the citizens of the Dark Cities did not just look human, but were Human. Or at least, so damn close that it was impossible to tell them apart.

And they were perfect. Each and every one of them looked like the result of the single most diabolically thorough eugenics program ever conceived. It was the kind of beautiful perfection that hit you in the face, a mocking, harsh, unkind beauty, but beauty none-the-less, and it was exposed for all The World to see.

Anna’s view count was fucking impressive, even by Earth Standards. She was getting Despacito numbers, and still climbing. Ben didn’t know it, but his job level in [Producer] was going through the fucking roof.

New clothing, beautiful clothing in all the colors of the rainbow, adorned his new citizens. Clothing with decoration, with jewelry, with accessories. Ben didn’t know a fucking thing about clothes, and was thus unable to mentally parse all the details. It was really nice clothing though, anybody with visually based senses could comprehend that.

Lariah started giggling. It was a choked, rough giggle, like she’d never giggled before. It was infectious, and soon, all of them rolling around, laughing due to sheer joy and relief.

“There!” Ben yelled for everyone to hear, “now that’s better, isn’t it! Come on, isn’t this supposed to be a Parade! Start up the music, and I want to hear some cheering!” Ben went to his [Endless Trough of Parade Treasure], which was an actual thing, and started tossing it out to the crowd. They were hesitant at first, but free money was free money, and soon, the enthusiasm was restored, and then doubled over what it had been before.

The Parade of Wonders marched on for about two more hours until, finally, finally! They were there! They made it to the bar that Thirty-One had promised was going to be the greatest bar ever! Ben couldn’t quite read the name, as it was written in machine code, but he assumed it was a good name for a bar. The entire Parade of Wonders was assembled outside the bar, playing trumpets and music, tossing free stuff everywhere. Ben was absolutely blazing with Holy Energy and Royal Power, literally glowing with power.

He entered the bar to the sound of cheers and applause, walked across the building literally glowing with power, and then plopped his tired ass down on a barstool, the light immediately going on as he sagged against the bar, completely exhausted. He was facedown against the synthetic material, and raised a hand.

“I’m such a goddamn idiot. Give me something strong. . .” Ben sighed, “It’s been a long fucking week.”