“No,” Ben said, then got up and started to float away. On his way out, he [Whap'd] a couple of the 'books' from the shelves, picked completely at random.

“Wait!” Vivi said, sliding along the ground as quickly as Ben was flying. The Aeon Slug left no trail of slime behind him as he moved.

“No, leave me alone,” Ben said. A Utility Pocket opened in-front of Vivi, and Frankie popped his little head out and thrust a spear at Vivi, missing intentionally.

“Ah! Don't hurt me! Wait, is that a utility pouch? I've heard of those, please slow down!” Vivi said, easily keeping pace no matter how fast Ben moved. By now, Ben had made it to the room he'd drained of honey. He paused, floating over the top of the empty pool, enjoying the fact that Vivi couldn't fly. The Aeon Slug was on the platform they'd come through, eyeing the area.

“What happened to the honey?” he asked, sounding a little alarmed.

“I stole it?” Ben said.

“Oh,” Vivi said, then started shaking, “oh, that's not good. That was the only thing keeping the Reliquary Guardian sedate.”

“What's a Reliquary Guardian?” Ben asked, then heard a buzzing noise from deep within the dungeon.

“In general, it's the boss monster that guards a Reliquary. More specific to here, it's a gigantic, angry, magical wasp.”

Silence stretched between them, Ben half expected the monster to burst into the room; it did not. Ben started to slowly leave again, and much as he expected, Vivi called after him. Ben tuned him out, then shook his head and landed on the platform at the opposite end of the room. The space between them was a large, empty pit. Ben started shouting.

“You don't need someone to deal with a bunch of fairies, you need to move!” he yelled, “That's what you need to do, pack up your shit, and get out.”

“I can't just leave! I'm an Aeon Slug, and a Quasar class soul!” Vivi shouted.

“Oh yeah, me too!” Ben shouted back.

“No you aren't! Just because a [Sage]-”

“Oh yes I am!”

“You don't understand, only a high grade town crystal can tell you that. You can't be a Quasar, that's as high as it goes!”

“Well, Fuck you! I learned it at Grayport 3, they had a high grade town crystal, and they sure seemed to believe it!”

“Did they-”

“Put me in a little bubble, yes, they did!” Ben practically screamed, feeling the pent up fury he'd been prepared to dump into a boss fight just bounce around his body as, well, as fury.

“Oh, well, hey! You're a quasar too! That's rare even among Aeon Slugs, congratulations! You know then why I can't just move- it's too dangerous! I'm too valuable, and I'm not strong enough to defend myself yet. That's why I'm in this dungeon Ben, to grow and get stronger.”

“Oh!” Ben's voice had reached a higher pitch than he would be comfortable admitting to a pretty girl at a bar, “and another thing! What the fuck was the point of this fucking dungeon! I'm only in here because I'm the [Prince] who owns this entire tree! Why the hell are you here!”

“Oh? You're a [Prince] too? A quasar soul'd [Prince]? Well excuse me, Mr. Special, or should I say, your grace! I swear my undying fealty to you, you fraud!” Vivi shouted back, and Ben got the distinct feeling he wasn't used to ever being the least unique creature in the room.

Ben felt something in his mind. . . click.

“Yes, you may address me as your grace, or your majesty, or Prince Ben, and I accept your fealty!” he said, and got the feeling that the next time he took a rest, he was going to gain a new level.

“Oh,” Vivi said, his eyes rolling about for a second like he was reading something, “oh, shoot!” he 'swore', “you really were a [Prince]! No, I take it back! I didn't mean it! Release me, immediately!”

“No,” Ben said, feeling smug, royal, and like he needed a better crown.

“Drat! Darn it and. . . you slimy trickster!” Vivi shouted, and Ben shrugged.

“Saves me the trouble of getting you off my tree and out of my kingdom,” Ben said, then frowned when he saw the Aeon Slug get a sly look in it's large, spherical eyes.

“Of. . . of course, your majesty, Prince Ben,” Vivi said, then accelerated forward and crossed the empty pit between them faster than Ben felt comfortable watching happen.

“Your kingdom, yes, it's this whole tree?”

“Eh,” Ben said, knowing exactly where this was going, and not liking it one bit.

“Why, I imagine. . . you have to go to Strange Town and deal with the problem. You're a [Prince], you won't be able to even sleep until your claimed territory is secure, or at least, until you are on the path to securing it.”

Ben hadn't thought of that.

“So,” Vivi continued, “I don't really need to offer you anything, do I? You'll do it for free, one way or another.”

“Come on, don't strong-arm me like this,” Ben said, looking at the smug slug, “you're my first subject, just take it easy man.”

“I'm just a lowly Aeon Slug, and I need your protection,” he said, his eyestalks doing a sort of vertical sine wave wiggle that was absolutely hilarious, but to Ben, it was infuriatingly disrespectful.

“Oh yeah? I'll do it, I'll take care of Strange Town, and you'll give me the fucking 'The Quest', and I'm seizing this entire dungeon and all its contents to fund my new kingdom! [Annex]!”

Ben's crown started to grow warm, then it started to burn against his skin. It should have been painful, but it was not, instead it was the sensation of burning without pain.

The area around them started to shake, and suddenly Ben had a sense of his surroundings. Inside of his utility pocket, the locks snapped off on the chests.

“That's my house!” Vivi said, sounding highly offended, “That's- Give it back!”

“No! You give it back!” Ben responded, even though it didn't make much sense, then continued, “Where's the fucking treasure, Vivi? Where's the Reliquary? Because you and me - we're going there. And we're going to kill the giant wasp or whatever, and then I'm going to claim the relic, and then I'm going to ride into Strange Town on your back and call you my horsie!”

“Make me!” Vivi shouted back, ready for a fight.

“Neigh!” Ben whinnied like a horse, “Fine, guess what, you're [Conscripted]!” The skill appeared as though it had been created in that exact moment. Ben felt The System update and notify him, but ignored it.

The crown began burning again, and Vivi began to burble the angry burble of gastropod mollusks everywhere.

“You're a [Tyrant]!” Vivi cried, and Ben started laughing.

“Oh, buddy, not yet, but keep pushing it and find out! Now, lead me to the reliquary!”

Vivi. . . obeyed.

He began to sulkily make his way back towards the boss chamber, leaving a shiny trail of slime behind him, moving way slower than Ben knew he was capable of moving. Ben was breathing hard and his eyes were wide. Once his blood started to cool he started to feel kind of like an asshole.

“Hey, Vivi,” Ben said, floating over to him.

“What!” he responded, and Ben could see tears flowing down his eye-stalks.

“I'm not going to ride you like a horsie,” Ben said, “and I'm releasing you from your service.”

A sound like something snapping filled the air, and Vivi jolted up, sliding around and staring at Ben with enormous, wide eyes.

“What have you just done?” he said, “What game are you playing! Releasing an Aeon Slug from your service, are you mad?”

“It's really not a big deal,” Ben said frowning, having not expected this reaction.

“Why!”

“It's wrong!” Ben said, pointing at Vivi with an entire hand, “look at you, you're a mess; crying and shit, and leaving slime everywhere. I feel like a total jerk, man, I just got caught up in it all-”

“I don't accept it!” Vivi snapped, sounding genuinely furious. “What an insult! I demand to be brought back into your service, immediately, as a. . . as your [Royal Wizard]! What a-a-a,” he was stuttering, apoplectic with rage, “stupid reason to release something so valuable from your clutches!”

“You were just really, um, not into it a second ago,” Ben said, blinking a lot, his lips pulled tight to the sides.

“I was mad at myself for making a mistake, and now I'm mad at you for being an utter fool! I'm an Aeon Slug,” he said, emphasizing it like Ben was really, really stupid, “one of the signatory races of The World! Older than The System, gifted beyond all others in the use of magic. Sure, I'm only sixty, and sure, I'm extremely small, but I will not be discarded like common trash! I have my dignity, and I made my mistake, and I will be a [Royal Wizard], with a tower to match my magnificence!”

Ben thought about it, then shrugged his shoulders.

“Ok, but first, I want to try something.”

–

Ben was still naked, but he was sitting behind something that approximated a desk, while Vivi was sitting on something that approximated a chair for intelligent magical slugs. In front of Ben was a sheet of paper, on which were written six questions.

When Ben had explained what he wanted from Vivi before he would make his decision about whether to make the Aeon Slug his [Royal Wizard], Vivi had laughed with extreme confidence.

'All I want,' Ben had said, 'is to ask you a few questions to see if you're qualified for the position.'

“I'm ready to begin,” Vivi announced, and Ben looked at him with something approaching pity, because Ben was about to administer a peculiar and particular kind of hell on the poor creature.

Ben was going to put him through a job interview.

“All right Vivi, I'm going to interview you for the position of [Royal Wizard],” Ben said, then grabbed his sheet of paper and silently read the question, before putting the paper back down and looking the Aeon Slug directly in the eye, staring right into his pupil.

“First question; why should I hire you, and what makes you a good candidate for this position?”

“I'm an Aeon Slug,” Vivi said, sounding smug, and honestly believing he had answered the question.

“Oh.”

Ben let the silence stretch until he saw Vivi start to visibly lose some of his confidence, then he continued.

“And?” Ben said, raising his eyebrows, nodding his head in encouragement, and smiling; the most hostile move an interviewer could legally make in the United States of America. Possibly even China.

“I'm. . . an Aeon Slug,” Vivi said, without much confidence, “and I'm. . . uh, I'm good at magic?”

“Oh, ok,” Ben said, then felt a sort of poke inside his brain, the part that dealt with his utility pocket. Ben understood immediately, and on the 'desk' next to him, a utility pocket opened up and Frankie plopped out. He assumed a seated position next to Ben and began to radiate an aura of general dissatisfaction with Vivi's existence.

“So you said you're good at magic, would you care to elaborate on that?” Ben asked.

“Well, my mana reserves are extremely large and Aeon Slugs are able to learn spells much faster than any other species.”

“Aeon Slugs, or you, please be specific,” Ben said, and Frankie started nodding as if to say 'Yes, please go on,'

“Oh, yes, I'm also able to learn spells very quickly.”

“So your qualifications for this position are that you are an Aeon Slug, and that Aeon Slugs are very good at magic?”

“It doesn't really sound that impressive when you put it like that,” Vivi defended himself.

“You were the one who put it like that,” Ben said, then looked down at his paper, “Ok! Question two!”

“That was only question one?” Vivi asked, sounding alarmed.

“Follow up questions are to be expected in any interview. Tell me about a time you made a mistake, and how did you fix it?”

“A mistake,” Vivi said, his voice an octave higher than usual, then returning to normal, “O-oh, why, what did they tell you I did?”

Ben gave Vivi a level look.

“Question 3,” he said, and Vivi immediately interjected.

“Wait, I haven't answered question two yet!”

“I got the answer I needed, thank you,” Ben said, completely bullshitting his way through this, but none the less absolutely nailing the facial expression that says 'Oh, I know all about your mistake.'

“Question three,” Ben said, his voice abruptly returning to a chipper, professional tone; Vivi startled from the change, “Tell me about a time you had to take charge of a situation, or lead a group. What happened? Did you learn anything? What were people's reactions and how did you handle all that?”

“Well, I learned that I'm a terrible summoner!” Vivi said, apparently assuming that Ben really did know all about 'his mistake'. “What did people think', you ask, well, you can bet I'm not living out deep in the Overcavern forest because people thought well of it!”

“Oh, I see,” Ben said, doing that thing where no matter how bad an answer was, the interviewer just kept nodding their head and acting like nothing was wrong, but making it very clear there was something wrong.

“I told them I didn't want to do it, but they told me every good Aeon Slug worth his weight in salt had done it before they turned fifty! So they roped me into it, and there we were, five of us standing in front of a portal to The Beyond, and we're about to fish out a damn Greater Wish spell, when we. . . we hooked something else,” he said, his eyes growing distant, “an Impossible. It couldn't come over, it was impossible after all, but. . . it touched them, and made them impossible as well. None of us knew they could reach over like that and just blank you out of existence! I wasn't fast enough at closing the portal, I just wasn't fast enough. . .” Vivi trailed off.

“Oh, would you like a minute?” Ben asked, and every part of him wanted to end the interview and let Vivi work through some stuff. His [Prince] class, however, would not allow it. He could feel its effect on his mind so clearly in that moment, like the exact shape of it as it directly opposed his desires.

It wasn't that it overpowered Ben so much as convinced him of the necessity of seeing the farce through to the end. [This is how it is done], the class said, [This is how loyalty is created, not born.]

It was, in two words, extremely creepy.

Ben shook his head, clearing his mind, then stood up and walked over to Vivi.

“Hey, this isn't necessary, not really,” Ben said, putting a hand on the Aeon Slug, who started.

Vivi's body was brown and green, and his skin was like cool, almost wet, leather. The Aeon Slug was about as long as Ben was tall, and about as tall as Ben's chest. This close, Ben could see something like a glow, just barely illuminating Vivi's skin.

Frankie, who had been mimicking Ben's body language the entire time, came over and jumped on Vivi's head, landing between his eye stalks and laying down.

“No, I can do this,” Vivi said, coming back to reality, his eyes rolling to cross down and look at Frankie, “and I've got some questions about this elemental when we're done.”

“I'm only answering questions if you get the job,” Ben said, then returned to his desk, and Frankie portaled back over and somehow made it seem like a very slow process, even though it was instant. It was probably the slow waddle he used to go from one end to the other.

Ben looked down at his paper, straightened it a bit, then looked up again.

“You sure, I'll stop right now,” Ben asked, offering an honest out.

“I'm sure,” Vivi said, determination glinting in his eyes, Ben liked that.

“Question four; Tell me about a time you helped someone. How did you feel? What, if anything, did you learn?”

After hearing the question read aloud, Ben once again cursed the traitor to humanity psychologists who engineered these Emotional Intelligence interview questions. They were truly diabolical.

“A time I helped someone?” Vivi said, once again instantly taken off guard by the abruptness of the question, “Well. . . can I have a second to think about that?”

“Of course,” Ben said, and gestured with his hand; Frankie gestured with a little blob arm, conveying the same body language as Ben.

“I'm having trouble thinking of anything,” Vivi said, his extremely expressive eye-stalks somehow frowning, “I didn't think it would be so hard to think of anything, I've helped people before, I'm sure of it!”

Ben had no doubt Vivi had helped someone before, and wasn't surprised that he couldn't think of anything. He, however, said nothing.

“That's all right,” Ben said, “I think we can move on to question five, almost done now, don't worry. Ready?”

“I think so,” Vivi said, hesitant.

“Question five; Why do you want this job?”

“Oh!” Vivi said, brightening up immediately, “that's an easy one! Well, I want to be a [Royal Wizard] because of the benefits! It's a very rare class, extremely valuable, there's only one per kingdom, and there are only so many kingdoms. It's an extremely prestigious job for an adult Aeon Slug to have, so if I got one at my age, it would make me look very impressive.”

Ah, Vivi. There's nothing easy about the question, 'Why do you want this job.' It's the question solely designed to fuck you over more than any of the others.

“Follow up question,” Ben asked, leaning forward on his palm and watching Vivi with openly observant eyes; any human would have immediately gotten the message, which was 'Got you.' Vivi wasn't a human, and didn't catch it.

“Ok, follow up, I like this one!”

“Are you willing to replace your current class with [Royal Wizard]?”

“I don't even have a class!” Vivi said, “So I'd be more than happy to take it.”

“Oh, no class, right. How does that work, why don't you have a class? Is it an Aeon Slug thing?”

“Well, we don't really talk about it,” Vivi said, apparently willing to share a secret to improve his chances of 'getting the job', “but we are a Signatory race you know, and there are benefits to that.”

“Go on,” Ben said, pumping Vivi for critical, lifesaving information about his new, dangerous world. Though it was the first time, Ben felt the effects of his [Secret Sense] skill, and it told him there was a valuable secret nearby.

“Well, we only get to have one class and we can't change it, that's the bad part of it. My level system is active, but dormant. Every time I meet the requirements of a class, I'm notified and asked if I would like to take it. If I don't, it's added to a list, along with the requirements to unlock the class should I ever change my mind.”

“That's useful,” Ben commented.

“Very. It's the sort of information a [Sage] would kill to have at their fingertips,” Vivi said, happy to sound useful in his job interview.

“Why's that?” Ben asked, “I mean, what would a [Sage] want that information for? What do you think he would do with it?”

“He's a [Sage], Ben. With a good town crystal and the knowledge I've got in my head, he'd be a strategic asset of any town. He'd even be qualified to be a [Royal Sage], though I might be being boastful.”

“Oh, a [Royal Sage]?” Ben said, nodding his head again, even though he had no idea what that was. “Do you really think what you know would make them qualified for that position?”

“Qualified! If he became a [Royal Sage] with what I know, he'd be able to increase the power of their nation substantially! He'd be able to train skills, teach classes, issue System Quests and their subsequent rewards; he'd be able to initiate System Events across the entire kingdom with what I taught him!”

“Oh yeah, that's a really important position,” Ben said, “just curious, have many Aeon Slugs have ever been [Royal Sages]? Or are they primarily [Royal Wizards]?”

“Well, who wouldn't want to be a [Royal Sage],” Vivi said, laughing, “but there are only seven positions in the entire world. One per City Crystal you understand, and they're all spoken for and have successors. So, it's not a matter of choice that we're [Royal Wizards], more that the owners of City Crystals all insist one of their own race holds the position. They aren't nearly so picky about [Royal Wizards], and Aeon Slugs are always a popular choice for that.”

“Ok, thank you. You mentioned that you were storing class data from when you didn't pick a class you were offered, so what happens when you pick a class?”

“We get an upgraded version of it, a [Class+], a superior version to what everyone else gets,” Vivi said, then looked shocked he'd spoken aloud, “Oh my, uh, forget I said that!”

“It's already forgotten,” Ben said, and Vivi relaxed.

“Question six,” Ben said, committing everything he'd heard to memory, “last question; what can you tell me about what a [Royal Wizard] does?”

“They're the chief magical researchers of a kingdom. They spend their days in study, developing new magic, enchanting objects, casting spells, and maintaining wards,” Vivi said, sounding like he really wanted the job.

Ben knew, right then, what a [Royal Wizard] was, because he'd worked for the government long enough to know it when he saw it.

A [Royal Wizard] was one of those jobs that paid out forty hours a week plus overtime, and required about three hours of actual work. Per week. In other words, the job was dead weight on any organization.

“This concludes our interview,” Ben said, having gotten much more information than he had realized was possible by using actual interview questions he'd had to answer to get his old job.

“Oh, good,” Vivi said and he sagged and relaxed.

“Before we go, do you have any questions for me?”

“Oh yeah! How did I do? Did I get the job?”

“Oh yeah,” Ben said, giving a thumbs up, “you did fine, good job.”

It was the worst interview Ben had ever seen.

“So, did I get the job?” Vivi asked, excited and nervous.

“Uh, ah. . . no.”

“Oh,” Vivi said, sounding really, really depressed about it. “The interview didn't go that well, did it?”

“Well, I've seen worse,” Ben lied, “but it wasn't exactly the best. There's good news though, so don't be too hard on yourself.”

“Really? What's that,” Vivi asked, perking up a little bit.

“I think there's another job I'd like to offer you. It's contingent on a couple of things, and you'll have to work a little, but I think you've got what it takes,” Ben said, looking at Vivi with conviction in his eyes.

“What is it?” he asked, clearly interested.

“I'd like you to help me turn Strange Town into a City, and then help me take control of that City and it's City Crystal; then...”

“No,” Vivi said, eyes going very wide.

“I'd like to make you my [Royal Sage], Vivi. Do you accept?”

“YES!” Vivi screamed, his whole body starting to wiggle and ripple in excitement.

After things calmed down, Vivi swore a real oath of fealty to Prince Ben, and meant every word of it; true loyalty had been born.

Not created.

[You have advanced to Level 5!]

[Skill Lost!]

[Conscripted]

[Skill Gained!]

[Sense Emotion]

[You have advanced to Level 6!]

[Skill Gained]

[Benevolence]

[You have advanced to Level 7!]

[Skill Advancement!]

[The Prince Has No Clothes] has grown more powerful!

[Skill Gained]

[Magnificent Raiment]

[Royal Instinct: Geography]