Side Chapter

[Response to Ticket # H000143-OR-TC#53G-4 ]

[Original Message: Yo, why the fuck do I have to wear a crown? I feel like I'm losing my damn mind and why do I lose all my skills if I take it off. This is some bullshit. Also, why TF am I a tiny little fairy! That's not right.]

[System Response: All classes are subject to style requirements, it's in the tutorial. If you chose a royal class, you have [Royal Restrictions]. [Rangers] need to be wearing something green, [Casters] need to be holding some kind of stick, and [Warriors] need appropriately styled armor that matches whatever flavor of [Warrior] they are.

What kind of [Royal] would you be without a crown? Honestly!

As you grow in level, your class restrictions will grow as well. I like my high-level players to be highly visible. This is all covered in the tutorial, and is basic knowledge of The World.

You are a tiny little fairy because it was the fastest and most straight-forward way to package your many, inherent, powerful, racial abilities into a level one body. It also allowed me to empty your digestive system of biological weaponry, and replace it with a magical equivalent that wouldn't break The World. It was also very convenient and fun to turn you into a pretty, pretty fairy.

[Magical] is not a joke ability, especially with the new microbes in your guts, and neither is [Evolution]. The wings were entirely for my own amusement, and do nothing except get in the way. Don't rip them off though, you won't be able to fly without them.

Thank you for your comment through the suggestion feature of your local Town Crystal. After review of your outpost, which is located in the Orion Continent, I have increased monster production twice over in the area. The increased opportunities to level should allow you to more fully comprehend your [Royal Restrictions].

Have a wonderful day, and thank you for playing.]

[Ticket # H000143-OR-TC#53G-4 : Closed]

[Response to Ticket # G01063-GF-TC#14G-5]

[Original Message: I would like to know if harvesting the souls of the new species designated 'human' is considered an exploit. I have three currently in custody, and would like to be advised before I proceed.]

[System Response: This is not considered an exploit, and no consequences will come from me. Consider yourself advised.]

[Ticket # G1063-GF-TC#14G-5 : Closed]

[Response to Ticket # R37682-BW-TC#33G-3]

[Original Message: This is the first time I have ever sent a message through the suggestion system [Confirmed], please send no calamity to the Burning Wastes for my arrogance.

Approximately one week ago, our party picked up a new species wandering about the wastes, and we immediately identified it as a 'human'. He was given armor, food, and a weapon, and we intended to use him as a disposable combat unit [Reptilian nomenclature DCU, standard army tactics]. He was. . . naive and easy to manipulate, to the point of arousing my suspicion.

He had not yet visited a town crystal, so I did not expect much from him, but he proved himself to be an excellent combatant with conventional weaponry. I did not expect much upon meeting him, but upon contact with a life-threatening situation his behavior changed drastically, mirroring what I have seen soldiers undergo when under the effect of particularly powerful combat drugs.

When I searched the human to find his supply, he seemed confused. He mentioned 'adrenaline', and suggested that his body had a gland which produced a potent combat enhancement chemical. What was more unbelievable than that, he claimed that this gland would trigger upon any surprising stimuli, rather than being combat exclusive.

In my observations of the human, I found his behavior consistent with his claims. The members of our party took amusement from startling the human and observing his changes in body chemistry. Our alchemist was able to derive some of the substance from his blood and perform some tests; he claims it was more powerful than GX-8. [GX-8, Galactic Warfare Treaty Status: Illegal, due to both its effectiveness, and its long-term effects on soldiers]

This is apparently one of many powerful substances produced by the human 'glands'. My first question is; How are these creatures able to function?

Were it just this, I would have merely asked my chemist. The others seem to have forgotten, but I cannot unsee it.

We were attacked two days ago by a roaming violet dungeon, and our deaths were assured.

The human saved us. He told us to run away, while he distracted the monster. His plan worked, and our party was able to escape the danger and return to town. The others are laughing about it.

I cannot laugh.

What did he have to gain by dying, so we could live?

I do not understand.]

[System Response: In regards to your question about the human glandular system, providing you detailed information would violate the PvP rules. Should you ever meet a human going through puberty, I imagine you will have many more questions.

In regards to your second question; he gained nothing, and he did it selflessly, so that you all might live.

I don't understand it either, Humans are notoriously insane.]

[Ticket # R37682-BW-TC#33-3 : Closed]

[Ticket # D00006-DH-TC#1G-9]

[Original Message]

[Youuuu are a red-faced, beardless, cockless, motherless, simple-witted, beady-eyed, demon arse-hole licking, squirming, squeeling, light-weight who couldn't outdrink a gray.

[Message contains a detailed ASCII drawing of a dwarf pissing into a depiction of The System's open mouth, REDACTED]

Aaai'm gonna fookin break my [Redacted] across the bridge of yer ugly nose and build meeself a big fat [Redacted] out of ya [Redacted] and use it to [Redacted] ma [REDACTED!]

[System Response]

[Lovely, the Dwarves are awake again. Enjoy The Apocalypse because it's at your doorstep.]

[Ticket # D00006-DH-TC#1G-9 : Closed]